Just a Little Strange

First off, I did end up staying up until my "usual" 11:00ish bed time last night. I decided to set the alarm for 10:30 with the thought that I would wake up WAY before that, but maybe not actually roll out of bed until around that time. Nope, I definitely didn't wake up until my alarm went off. I must have slept kind of crazy because I still kind of had the headache I went to bed with, so I stayed in bed a little longer. (Oh the joys of living alone and working three days a week!)

I made my second attempt at French toast this week and it went MUCH better than the first. Not only did it actually taste like more like French toast, but I didn't set off the smoke detector. Yay me! The pot of coffee I made could have been a little better, but one out of two isn't bad :o)

My sister came over this afternoon to work on the scrapbook she made for her friend who had the baby. I'm not sure when I last saw my sister. So, the first thing I said was "wow, you actually look pregnant!" It is really kind of funny seeing her "look pregnant". She is sixteen weeks and looking forward to finding out what she is having. (I refrained from giving her the talk that ultrasounds are meant to be diagnostic tools not just finding out gender...sorry Kristy , I just couldn't "go there" although I did try, sort of.)

Now, onto the part that led me to title this post "Just a Little Strange". I mentioned that I was going to be baby-sitting for someone I have never met. I have talked to this woman twice. One time was when I was in California in October. The other time was earlier this week. All she knew about me was that I was a nurse who worked in Pediatrics. All I knew about her was that she had four boys, her first name, and directions to her house.

In this day and age of "crazy people", we had a significant amount of trust in the person on the other end of the phone. She even more than me, considering she was going to be leaving her CHILDREN in my care. She met me at the door, and we shook hands. She introduced me to her oldest son, "H" who happened to be eleven and we also shook hands. I met her other two kids who were there ("A" is five, "G" is nine, and "T who is seven was at a party but returned before they left). Well, hello there, my name is Amanda and I am your baby-sitter for the night. As she showed me into the kitchen, I noticed a piece of mail on the counter and quickly noted their last name just in case I would need that for future reference :o) She said, my oldest will help you out, the younger two should go to bed 8/8:30, the older two around 10, they can find something to eat. And then, basically was like "See you later" (I did meet her husband before they left...for a few minutes, I was wondering if she was a single mom...)

The boys were really good, especially considering they didn't know me from "Adam" (or Eve I suppose). Of course, they were intent into video games on the computer and their mom tells them (and me) before she leaves that they are only allowed to do that for an hour. I definitely made a number of attempts at getting them off the computer, but I had no clue where they kept their games, what kinds of things they liked to do besides play video games...and I didn't have any overly creative ideas. The younger two did show me where they kept their board games and we played those until I let them put in a movie at 8:30 (they were asleep by "9ish"...not bad for a baby-sitter, right?!). Then, I forced the other two off the computer to play the Monopoly of the 21st Century where your money is kept on a credit card and purchases are made in the millions and rent is in the tens or hundreds of thousands. It was fun and I sent them to bed about "10:30ish".

I did some of my reading for my meeting next week and they arrived home at midnight. I got a check for $50 (with only my first name, so apparently they didn't know my last name...that is more than a little strange to me, but I'm $50 richer and didn't have to work very hard for my money!)

On a different note, I called my friend from Curves on the way to baby-sit. I meant to call her this morning to see if she was doing okay, but after sleeping in, and knowing my sister was coming, I didn't have a whole lot of time to offer her. The diagnosis they got for her husband this week was stage four lung cancer with metastasis to the brain and liver. One part of the large tumor is wrapped around his trachea and pushing on his heart. Today the visiting nurse came and they are planning to do hospice care at home. I am really sad for her. I also feel like I'm not sure what to do. Not to say that I'm an "expert" on dealing with the loss of babies and children, but that is where my experience has been, and that is what kind of reading I have done. I have read about what kinds of things help, what things do not. I have talked to grieving parents. I know the loss of a child is the most horrible event imaginable. However, that doesn't really make losing your spouse "easier". I want to be as good of a friend to her in this situation as I have tried to be a good friend to those I know who have lost their children...

Maybe that is why a friend of mind gave me the book Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying around Christmas time to borrow. Little did I know where I would be right now, but something (perhaps "Someone") compelled her to share it with me.

That's a lot for one day, and now it is after 1:30. I should head to bed because the morning is technically already here!

Good night.

ANYTHING for One Day?

Oh, yes, last night, I DEFINITELY typed the words "...tomorrow I can remind myself with the whole "you can do ANYTHING for one day" if necessary!..."

As I was leaving work today, I realized that this was one of those days that quote was meant for!

Sure, the day started off nice and easy. I started with two patients, as did a couple of other nurses because we were not "full" (one of the reasons I got yesterday off). I quickly learned that one of them would be going home. My other patient was pretty busy (lots of medications and coordinating of times and various cares), so I had plenty of things to do until early afternoon. It was about that time that I learned I would be getting a patient from the ER. I had pretty much figured out "the plan" for my one patient and was ready to get this next one settled and see what happened. I waited, and waited, eating more snacks than I can count in the mean time.

Then, out of nowhere, I got an unexpected update from the charge nurse. One of the other patient care areas had to be evacuated of patients immediately. Two of those patients would be coming to my area (to put things into perspective--There are nine patient rooms where I was working. At this time, there were three nurses and five patients...plus the one who was coming from the ER at some point). Of COURSE my patient from the ER and my patient from the other area arrived at the EXACT same time. (I was assigned two patients since, you know, I had only been caring for ONE patient for the past three plus hours!)

It was fairly controlled chaos pretty much until the end of the shift. However, at the end of the day, things could have been a WHOLE lot worse. The nurses on my floor have the most amazing team work. I had SO much help and we all worked well together to make sure everyone was still getting the best care possible. I'm not even sure that the families knew what kind of chaos was actually occurring all around them and that is a VERY good thing!

Even though it could have been worse...I'm still VERY glad that it was "just one day" and I have the next two days off :o)

Tomorrow night is my big baby-sitting gig. I did a little question on facebook to see how much people pay baby-sitters these days. I didn't get very many responses, but they ranged from $3/hr to $10/hr. I'm glad that I didn't have to put my idea out there! She offered me $10/hr, which it probably higher than I would have been willing to ask for, so sounds fair enough. Of course, I don't even know these people's last name, so I could be in for a surprise :o) (more likely than not, a good one, but you never know!)

Even though I spent most of the day caring for only one patient, I am one very sleepy nurse. So, 10:30 bed time for me...I think that makes me kind of "old" :o)

Another Day at Home

Well, I decided to go ahead and stay home today. I tossed and turned much of the night, so thought I should take the opportunity when it was offered to me. Of course, I also thought I was going to be plagued with cramps today, but now it seems like that will probably be tomorrow. Oh well, at least I was able to relax today and tomorrow I can remind myself with the whole "you can do ANYTHING for one day" if necessary!

I had "big plans" for today. I may have been a little overambitious considering the amount of things I typically get done on my days off. My papers that were strewn about my living room are now a bit more organized. I also mailed off ten notes to friends and family with whom I have been "out of touch" for quite some time. I did a bit of socializing on facebook and via email. So, even though I spent much of the day plopped in front of my computer (still in my work out clothes and thinking now may be a good time to shower!) I was NOT really being a "hermit" because I was INTERACTING with folks :o)

I went and had dinner with my parents (even though I HAD taken out chicken to thaw and WAS planning to cook...oh, that reminds me of a story from earlier in the day!) So, this MORNING, after my work out, I decided to try making French toast. My dad likes making this for me/us after church on Sundays, but it has been a while. One of my friends was talking about making it herself a couple times for breakfast this week. So, I was hungry for French toast and picked up eggs on the way home from my work out. Yes, I definitely set off the smoke alarm and my French toast was dark on the outside and semi uncooked in the middle. Hopefully I have better luck next time (practice makes "perfect", or at least "better", right?!). Thankfully, it was bitterly cold outside because I had to open a couple windows to let the smoke out!

Anyway, on my way home from DINNER, I was looking at the sky. Obviously, it was dark, but the moon looked SO cool with a bright star next to it. I am not a photographer by any means, but I REALLY wanted to see if I could capture how pretty this was on camera. I tried a couple different settings on my camera, but didn't feel like I had very good luck. While it was "bitterly cold" outside, it definitely was chilly and I was wearing slip-on shoes, so I decided to come inside and just see if I could do anything with the pictures once they were uploaded to my computer.

Although you cannot tell that this is the moon and a star,
it is a pretty cool effect! The only thing I did to the photograph
was crop it. Too bad I don't have enough "blog followers" to do a "Caption Contest"
because there would probably be some creative ideas out there!

I think this was my second attempt. Looks like I was shivering a bit!
It was cold, but I think I may just have trouble holding my camera still!

Third (or fourth or fifth, I can't remember) time's a "charm".
This picture you can actually kind of tell that it is the moon. You can
kind of see the star in the upper left.

I'm sure there are quite a few metaphors or "deep thoughts" I could use to describe what it means to "look up" and see the moon and a star and things of that matter. However, I will leave that type of creativity to someone else for the moment :o) For now, I am just proud of myself for actually noticing the beauty around me (and it must be a pretty clear sky to be able to see them that clearly!)

The prayer requests kept coming in today. One of my friends I was "chatting with" today cracked me up when she said something to the effect of "I just pray all day long and after 5 hours or so I bet God is thinking 'Come on, will you let me help someone else for a little while?'" It was just really funny to me.

Now I "for real" have to go back to work tomorrow, but just for one day. On Saturday night, I got myself a BABY-SITTING job! This lady I don't know got my number from another lady I don't know who got my number from someone I hardly know... Now, I know myself, but would you leave your four children with me?! Of course, I come highly recommended from these people who don't know me besides knowing that I am a pediatric nurse. :o) I should have asked all my "mom friends" out there how much they pay their baby-sitters. Considering it's been a while since I baby-sat, especially healthy children, I had no clue. When she said $10/hr, I felt like that was more than fair...any thoughts?!

Okay, now I really should do something that requires me to be very far away from my computer! Good night.

Catching Up

Not really on HOUSE WORK...now that would be a silly thing to do on a day off! (I will say that I did more stuff around the house than I did, say, YESTERDAY, but "catching up" would not be the correct words for that!)

No, today I was able to catch up with a high school friend I hadn't talked to in a long time. She lives out of the country and actually called me while I was in the middle of working out. I DID finish my work out when we were done chatting (good thing considering what I decided to eat for dinner, but that's a different story!) I was supposed to meet a work friend for lunch, but she had to cancel last minute because something came up at work. So, when I got home from work, my high school friend and I "facebook chatted" for hours I think :o) I had no idea what had been going on there with her but it is nice to know so I can send some extra prayers her way(if you are reading this...love and miss you!)

I pretty much doubled the number of songs in my "Play List" and am pretty happy with my choices :o) It is a nice variety, and I think I took at least one song from each of the playlists of my "blog friends" (thanks ladies!) There are definitely some "blasts from the past" (Now and Forever was our "class song" and people seemed to ALWAYS use either "Unanswered Prayers" or "Angels Among Us" for their prayer in religion class; Mariah Carey's "Hero"...definitely a blast from the past; and even though part of it is cut off, I like the choice of the version of "My Heart Will Go On" with clips from the movie...oh high school! "Wind Beneath My Wings" has a special meaning for me...ahh, Beaches is a Classic!) and also some songs I have come to enjoy and appreciate much more recently. Now, Emily, this does not mean that I will no longer come visit your blog just to listen to your tunes :o) (By the way, a big YAY for a healthy Abigail on ultrasound today!)

Since I was in "Blast from the Past"/"Catching Up" mode, I found these pictures of my best high school friends (from our "Carefree College" days!) I miss our "Fifteen Feet of Fun"...wishing we could just "hang out" (tonight, my dad just happened to mention that they were thinking about going to Vegas for my birthday in October...and, by the way, it would be fun if I was there too...isn't that just like my parents to keep me "in the loop"?!) Turning thirty in Vegas does sound kind of exciting...I'll keep everyone posted!

Well, my dad and I were successful at the races tonight...enough to pay for our dinner (and a couple drinks). Unfortunately, I was craving greasy food and decided to just go ahead and eat the gigantic plate of French Fries dipped in ranch dressing. My body is now rebelling and is very angry at that choice, so I may actually take the day off tomorrow if it is offered to me (they called tonight to "check" if I would be interested...I left it at a "maybe"...)

Maybe "early to bed" isn't a bad idea. I did do three loads of laundry today and ran the dishwasher, so wasn't COMPLETELY unproductive (and, socializing with friends is not a wasted day in my opinion!)

Good night.

Answered Prayers, More Requests

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." ~Saint Thomas Aquinas

I think it was a good day to have that as the "Quote of the Day"! I am definitely blessed in the "friendship department" :o)

My friend Kristy got good news at her ultrasound today, and it sounds like her son is on the mend. She has another appointment in a month, but for now she is able to breathe a little easier (and for sure very appreciative of continued prayers!)

Emily is having HER ultrasound tomorrow and I am praying she gets the same kind of good report Kristy did. If you are here, please join me in prayer for her and Abigail Joy.

This morning, I finally got to talk to my friend at Curves. It took all I had to keep from crying (I quietly hid my face to wipe away any tears I was unable to hold back). She didn't talk that much about things, but they do not sound good. His daughter came this weekend from out-of-state, and he said his good-byes (telling his son-in-law to take care of his "pumpkin"...SO sad!) He had a biopsy last Friday, but they saw a larger mass when they went in to do that. The thought is metastasized lung cancer. Today, she was talking about Social Security, Durable Power of Attorneys, Food Stamps (the paperwork for that is 14 pages!), Wills, and burial plans. I am just so sad for her. It is so easy for me to sit here and think about people like my "blog friends" who are so far away and say "I would do this" or "I would help with that" or "Let me know if you need anything". I let her know that I'd bring her food or something and that I am here for her...now I need to make sure that I'm not one of "those people" who offers but doesn't come through. One good thing is that she knows a lot of people and has been a blessing to everyone who works out there. So, I think everyone will be more than willing to help her with whatever she needs, and hopefully she "feels the love".

I had coffee after my work out with another friend. I hadn't seen her for a while (she didn't even know I was going to be an aunt!). We talked a lot about this friend and I think we may go together to get some gift cards (both of our churches sell gift cards, including gift cards to grocery stores where a portion of the proceeds go back to the church which is great!) Anyway, it was nice to spend time with her so I didn't just come home and cry.

This afternoon, I had a meeting at work. I sat next to my friend from there, but we didn't get to have dinner this time since she had a basketball game to go to and I had Bible Study.

Since I was at the hospital (and not "dirty" after spending all day taking care of patients), I went and visited my sister's friend and her baby in the NICU. She is the one who started leaking amniotic fluid at 21 weeks. She was on bed rest in the hospital from 23 weeks until the baby was born at 33 weeks. The baby is doing really well and they are hoping she will be able to start breast feeding later this week (right now she is getting tube feeds and still some nutrition in her IV). Her hope is to have her home around Valentine's Day. When I first heard that she was going in the hospital at 23 weeks, I was so worried about this baby and prayed that she would be okay. I think she looks perfect (I, on the other hand, do not, but that is "Just Me" and I went to a meeting and Bible Study looking like that so apparently don't care THAT much!)



2009 seems like it is going to be "The Year of Babies". I'm praying that all of them arrive healthy! I did sign up to walk the March for Babies this year so I will also be doing a little bit of promoting the March of Dimes cause. ("The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.")

An up and down kind of day...I'm kind of glad I had the day off with that kind of emotional craziness! Of course, I finished my box of "Bottle Caps" (I LOVE Bottle Caps) as well as a bag of microwave popcorn, so now it is midnight and I am barely sleepy. Tomorow I am having lunch with yet another friend. She is due with HER baby in about six weeks (last year she had a couple miscarriages, so I am SO happy for her and her husband...I have sent LOTS of prayers to her, especially during the first few weeks of this pregnancy when she was really nervous and stressed).

Good night.

Prayers For a Friend

Just in case anyone happens by my blog, my friend Kristy and her family could use some extra prayers. Their two-year-old has been really sick for a few days and she is exhausted. They are also feeling a little anxious about their ultrasound tomorrow. Anyway, not sure if anyone actually comes here to visit, but if you are here, please pray for my friend. Thanks!

Old Habits are Hard to Break

So, nine days ago I finished my "nutritional cleanse". This past week, I wore two pairs of jeans that were stuffed in the back of my closet. Not sure why I kept them since they obviously hadn't fit for a while, but it was really exciting to be able to wear them!

Well, I'm not sure I'd like to know how many calories I have consumed the last couple of days. I'm back to snacking between meals, eating candy, having second helpings, eating until I am more than stuffed. So, I'm kind of thinking there is no rush to wash those jeans because at this rate, they probably won't fit a few days from now!

Last night, I cooked this recipe that I found while checking out this blog to pray for baby Harper. Umm...that was the beginning of my downfall (or, maybe it actually was the "middle"!) Today, I went to my cousin's Confirmation and, I definitely ate half a cinnamon roll and a brownie before I had a bit of everything else that was out on the counter. I hadn't had a Diet Coke in nearly three weeks and boy did that taste good! I also had a couple cups of coffee with non fat-free cream. Oh boy, and that definitely didn't keep me from having dinner and eating microwave popcorn while I sat and watched the Hallmark movie.

I hadn't posted any pictures since Pink and Brown day so I thought I would take some today with my cousins. I went a little crazy with the "soft focus" and other effects, but decided to go ahead and post them. The other ones that were taken were not good at all...too bad we didn't take pictures right away because I definitely think I looked a lot more put together four hours prior!

I decided to make another music play list for my blog. I tried to limit the number of songs since I don't think anyone would be reading my blog for one song let alone fifty! I did pick 25 songs that are kind of random, but I definitely picked songs that I enjoy listening to...since I am pretty sure I will be the one listening to it the most! Some I hadn't heard in a long time!

Well, we had snow overnight, and they are predicting more tonight. This morning I was able to sleep in and did my shoveling after 10:30 (I was in bed for about 12 hours...so nice!!) Tomorrow, however, I have to work. Not sure if the snow plows will have everything cleared by then, so I will have to leave a bit earlier than usual (since I'll for sure have to shovel my driveway even if the streets HAVE been plowed!)

Good night.

Book Review

So...I finally finished the book I have been reading. Too bad I didn't have the foresight to write this review AS I was reading it, but it is one of those books that you kind of have to read for yourself. Everyone who reads it will take away something very personal. I don't think anyone could finish it and not be moved in some way, but probably each in his or her own way. I haven't done "pleasure reading" in quite some time, even though reading was definitely something I enjoyed doing growing up. However, I typically read very quickly and end up taking away the "gist" of the story. Knowing how very important the message was in this book, I tried to take it more slowly than usual. And, to some degree that worked.

Without further adieu, this book, this amazing book I have been reading is called The Shack ,written by William P. Young. The "tag line" is "Where tragedy confronts eternity."

The story begins with a man who is grieving the tragic loss of his daughter. He is very angry, especially with God, and his relationship with God is very strained. He receives a note from God inviting him to a place he never wanted to see again. What unfolds is a story that changes his life, and changed me, right along with him. There are many questions answered about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and our relationship with each of them. There are questions about relationships with each other. Discussions about trust, forgiveness, hope, friendship. Some parts made me laugh out loud, others brought me to tears (as I wrote yesterday about holding back the sobbing while I was in the coffee shop). I'm sure I could read it again and find things I missed the first time. I often found myself thinking "hmm, I never thought about it THAT way, but it makes SO much more sense!"

There were many, many "takeaway quotes", but this is one that I wrote down while I was at the coffee shop yesterday. It is on page 185. "Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors." Each of the chapters begins with an inspirational quote. The one that begins Chapter 16 is "An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one he gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others." ~A.W.Tozer

Amazing story. I think everyone should read this book :o) I suppose I could have just written two sentences for my "book review" but hopefully the rest of my words are also convincing :o)

______________________________________________________

Finishing the book was my one goal of the day, so at least I did that :o) I also vacuumed my bedroom and washed my sheets. Oh, and took a really long nap on the couch this afternoon! This morning's Career Day went really well and it is always nice to have that reminder of why I love what I do. I stepped slightly out of the box and entered a contest over at My Charming Kids even though I left a very goofy answer that was so far from right that hopefully it was at least humorous :o)

I had an option to have tomorrow off, but I decided to go ahead and go to work. I pretty much sat around all day long and have no plans for tomorrow. I am not sure I could sit at home for another day since I'm fairly certain that I would not be any more motivated to clean tomorrow than I was today. Also, I feel a little bad that I moved from yesterday making an "extra nurse" tomorrow, so I kind of already got my day off. Someone else may actually have something to do or want to spend time with their husband and/or kids on a Saturday and I should not keep them from that :o)

Good night.

Ahh, that was nice!

A day with NOTHING to do. Gotta like that! I DID have to work on the minutes from the meeting I had a couple weeks ago so they could be sent to the staff, but that didn't take TOO long (probably would have taken a lot less time had I not checked email, blogs, facebook, etc. in between editing!)

I slept in before going to work out. My friend who works at Curves was not there today. Two weeks ago, her husband started feeling really sick. I have not seen her since then. From the sounds of it, they are thinking cancer since the CT scans showed spots in his head, liver, and lung. Apparently, even if it is, he has stated that he wants no treatment. This morning's report from the person filling in for her was that he is going to have a biopsy, but mostly for his kids' sake so they know what it was. Even though she essentially works full-time at Curves, it is not a job that has health insurance. So, I am not sure what she will do. Even though she is not the owner, the business thrives because of her, and she loves the people there. She and her husband are really close (as I suppose couples should be, right?!), so I cannot imagine what she is going through since the little reports I have gotten have not been good... They could use prayers for many different reasons.

It was fifty degrees here today, so I SHOULD have spent some time outside enjoying the spring-like temperature. However, earlier this week I decided that I wanted to spend some time at a coffee shop reading my book. Something that would be PERFECT for one of those bitterly cold days, but I went ahead and did that today anyway. The place I went did have comfy chairs and good coffee. The "barista" wasn't too friendly, though, so maybe I will go somewhere else if I decide to do this again tomorrow (since I didn't finish the book today!) However, it was a tiny bit awkward reading this book that, had I been reading it at home, would have left me sobbing and needing multiple tissues. Instead, I had to hold it in and wipe away tears before they actually formed. Anyway, I don't think anyone noticed, but something I may have to consider before venturing back out tomorrow (at least I'll have to think about bringing tissues with me!)

I talked to my contact person at the agency where I have my foster parent application. I still do not have my license, but she told me there was a hold up because of changes at the State office, not because of my paperwork. I'm not necessarily feeling the need to rush it, however, there is the teeniest of possibilities that CPS could become involved with a child I know (of course, I am hopeful and praying that things work out and that does not happen because kids do deserve to be with their parents if possible, but it has been on my mind the past couple of weeks, so I wanted to know the status of my paperwork "just in case").

Both of my dad's basketball teams played tonight. That was one of the reasons I took today off (that, and the fact that I needed a mental break before I had a break down!). They both played hard, but both ended up getting beaten pretty badly. Oh well, at least they had fun and it was nice to be there for my dad (he likes having someone to discuss the games with afterwards anyway...although there wasn't much to discuss tonight!)

Tomorrow morning, I am going to my alma mater to talk to sophomores at their career day. This will be my third year in a row telling the girls how much I love being a nurse (another good reason to have today off...so I remember how much I love working three days a week!)

SO nice to have a day off after this past week (although since I am still sitting surrounded by stacks of papers, I probably should do a little house work tomorrow!)

Good night.

A New Semester

The beginning of a new semester in the hospital world means Nursing Students. Lots and lots of Nursing Students. Now, I have been a nurse for nearly seven years and I do not think I was a very good Nursing Student. And, now I appreciate what those nurses had to go through working with all of us.

When I found out that ALL THREE of my patients had nursing students this morning, I was like "Are you KIDDING me?!" SERIOUSLY, I took care of these kids for four days in a row, took less than thirty six hours off and got them back again. I could take care of them in my SLEEP (and may have ended up doing that had I not been required to do a little lot of talking teaching!) Ahh, my first "strike through"...thanks McMama!

I do enjoy teaching, I just wasn't sure I had the energy to do a good job today. So, I took a deep breath and showed those girls why I love my job so much. I do think it is important for them to learn what is expected of them from day one, especially when it isn't "crazy busy". Sometimes nurses aren't very nice to students, especially when they do not do what the nurse thinks they should be doing (and, it obviously is hard to do things you never knew you were supposed to be doing!) They were there from 8-noon, so that was a nice way to "ease into" the semester.

I was able to listen to the doctors on rounds and have lunch before the second group arrived. Really, two groups of nursing students their first day of pediatrics in the SAME day?! Oh yes, and my three patients all had students. Deep breath, you can do this! You LIKE to do this! I let them know that they were my second group and they could compare notes with their classmates on how nice/helpful I was :o) I was very thankful that the male student who was assigned "my baby" was someone who actually had interacted with children and knew how to change diapers. Bonus for the afternoon! That group arrived at 3:30 and left for dinner at 6 (they came back at 7:30 shortly before I was out of there!). So, again, very nice to have a small dose of nursing students on the first day!

Needless to say, though, I am SO glad that I arranged to get tomorrow off work. My guess is there will be another new group of nursing students tomorrow, and I'm not quite sure how I'd handle that! Also, I have been more than frustrated with the situation with one of my patients. I am thinking I'm near the breaking point and it will be good to emotionally step away for a few days. It has been very draining trying to see both sides of the story and remain compassionate, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt that they may or may not deserve. I am almost spent, and think it is someone else's "turn". I can't help but think this child could fit into my home, even though it hasn't reached that point, and probably (for the child/family's sake, hopefully) not.

So, I survived the first day with new Nursing Students. My prayers for patience earlier this week must have worked (at least in the presence of those who needed me to be patient with them!). I definitely still did my share of "venting", but maybe I have gotten rid of my "mean nurse" reputation for now :o)

Good night!

Lovely Little Day Off

Yes, it definitely was lovely to do pretty much nothing today after spending more than half of the past four days at the hospital! And, I didn't even wake up at 4:00 this morning (must not have had quite as much water yesterday!) In fact, I am fairly sure it only took minutes to fall asleep and I don't think I moved much until my alarm went off at 8. I decided to stay in bed until 9 because, well, I could!

I went to the horse races with my dad with $6 I borrowed from my mom. None of our horses came close to winning and my dad ended up betting for the both of us for a few races. Not good, but it was still nice hanging out with him and cheering on our very bad horses!

I spent much of the afternoon messing around on the computer and figured out how to leave a little signature at the end of my blog. That was kind of fun, although I wish I had a "mouse pen" so I could have used my own signature. I think there is a way to use a scanned signature, so maybe I will try and do that another day. I "facebook chatted" with a couple friends so was even more social than I thought I would be on this day off :o)

I took a short nap before going to the first night of my new Bible Study. We are doing a study on the book of Revelations, so it should be an interesting few weeks, that's for sure! There is quite a big group, and some of the people were also in the last study I did.

Back to work tomorrow, but I did get my schedule changed so I have Thursday off and work Saturday instead. I think I can handle ONE day, but think it would have been tough if I knew that tomorrow would be my first of TWO days. Even if I have to remind myself that "I can do ANYTHING for one day"...I really CAN do pretty much anything for one day, knowing that I have the next two days to do what I want!

Good night!

Oh, What a Morning!

So many crazy things happened this morning, that I shared "the story" multiple times throughout the day. It only makes sense, then, that I "document" it here :o)

Today was my fourth work day in a row. I rarely even do three shifts in a row because it is pretty tiring working 12-hour shifts. I am not sure I have EVER worked four in a row, but I need the extra money and I had a pretty good group of patients to be around for 50+ out of 96 hours! I tried to go to bed early last night and that did work pretty well. However, 5:30 comes early no matter what time you go to bed!

To make matters worse, apparently I must be drinking a little TOO much water because the past four days I have woken up with a start between 4 and 4:30 needing to go to the bathroom. This morning was no exception. Waking up at 4:30 is NOT fun when your alarm goes off in an hour. And then, if THAT wasn't enough, my cell phone started beeping at 5:15 because the battery had somehow died during the night even though there were two bars when I went to bed. I finally rolled out of bed a little after 6.

I always listen to my iPod while I take my morning shower (and bring my cell phone with me in the bathroom so I can check to see how much time I have to get ready). Well, my cell phone was in another room charging since there are not enough outlets in the bathroom. So, I figured I would just use the clock on the iPod. For whatever reason, my iPod would NOT turn on! No matter what I tried, it would not work. So, I showered in silence and hoped that I didn't take too long (I also kind of judge how long my shower is by the number of songs that play while I am in there!)

I managed to get ready in time and leave a little after 6:40 (a tiny bit on the late side, but I already knew who my patients would be, so it didn't matter that much). As I was leaving the parking garage, a guy held the door for me. As I glanced up to say "thanks", I realized I knew him. Three, maybe even FOUR years ago, I "hung out" with this guy for a few months. When I say "hang out", that is what it was for me. On one occasion, we did kiss and then I actually never really talked to him again. I was REALLY not nice and basically didn't return his calls. Not really PROUD of this whole thing, but apparently he was heartbroken over the whole thing (I think he really liked me). I have seen him a few times (he actually attends my church) but he pretty much refuses to look at me and definitely doesn't say anything. Pretty sad, but I must have hurt him pretty badly. Anyway, once he saw it was me, he seemed to "book it" across the street and into the hospital. Now I am a fast walker, but even I was unable to catch up to him...not that I was really trying because I had nothing to say, but it was pretty crazy.

I relayed these crazy things to my co-workers in morning report and hoped the rest of the day would get better. It was, after all, my fourth day in a row and I had no idea what I would be facing (especially since Mondays are typically they day to "fix" what happened over the weekend!)

Since I had a pretty good routine with my patients on my fourth day, I thought I had a good "game plan" for the morning. I gave my first patient his meds at 8:00 since he was going to have a procedure later. Thankfully, no issues there (he was my "problem child" yesterday morning, so this was a good thing!) I thought I would give my second patient her meds at 8:30 since I had teaching to do with the mom of my third patient. I carried her pills in a med cup along with a few other things and what did I do...oh yes, I dumped the pills onto the floor. So, I had to call the pharmacist for new doses which would take at least thirty minutes, so there went THAT idea!

At this point, I decided to take a seat and may have even poured myself a cup of coffee before attempting anything else. I started my teaching about 9:30 with the mom of my third patient. It took a lot of patience watching her do things that take me less than 10 minutes take nearly 40, but I reminded myself that this is what I do for a living. Anyway, when it came time for her to give the ONE med, she was telling me that she was a "genius" for coming up with a different way to do this. (Mind you, I DID tell her about the crazy stuff that had happened to me before I got to work!) As she is saying this, she promptly squirts the med into the air and I'm pretty sure it hit the ceiling. Second call to pharmacy asking for another dose.

I stepped into the hallway to use my little portable computer to do some charting and my computer decided it no longer wanted to allow me to log in, even after restarting it. Oh my goodness, can I PLEASE go home!

The rest of the day wasn't NEARLY as exciting, thank goodness, but there was a bit of drama that I cannot really discuss in this venue. I was pretty frustrated byt some things, but thankfully this was today, and not Saturday because today I was mostly able to keep my emotions in check and didn't say anything I would regret (at least not that I can think of right now).

Come 3:00, I was pretty delirious and felt a bit like I was drunk (my patients were fine and I wasn't REALLY drunk, so this is okay!) By 4:00 I hit the "low" after the "high" and really wanted a nap. Thankfully, there were plenty of snacks and chocolate to help pass the time (yeah, I guess that means I am done with the healthy eating!)

7:30 eventually arrived and I was on my way home. To mom and dad's, actually, since my dad cooked his "famous" meatloaf (yum) and boiled potatoes. Oh, and a couple glasses of wine :o)

I have tomorrow off, and then back to work on Wednesday. So, I'd better think about going to bed. My dad wants to go to the horse races tomorrow, but I also need to go to the grocery store and get gas before that, so will have to get up earlier than I would like for my one day off. But, it will be fun. Tomorrow night, I start my new Bible Study. I'm looking forward to that.

Good night (and hope for a little less crazy morning tomorrow!)

Bonus Shift

Well, they were offering bonus pay to work today. Since I've been complaining about my finances and wishing there were bonus shifts available, I decided to take it...even though that makes me work four days in a row. I hardly EVER work three in a row because it can be pretty exhausting, and FOUR days in a row is pretty much unheard of (at least on my floor). However, I decided it would be fine, and worth it when my pay check comes.

Unfortunately, the past week I seem to have become "the mean nurse". That is not something I like AT ALL! The first time it was mostly joking and the person who said it actually was meaning that I had become more assertive and it being a "good thing". Yesterday, though, it came from a patient and a parent. Even though what I said was, in fact, true, I am certain there was a much nicer way to say it (and, as the physician informed me, probably did not need to be said at all). I'm pretty sure things got all "smoothed over" and I was not "fired" from taking care of any patients, but it did feel pretty crappy. I made a valiant attempt to redeem myself today and hope I succeeded! It seems like "everyone" on my floor is looking for other jobs. I'm totally not to that point, but I guess the frustrations all around can unfortunately be taken out in the wrong places. Also, I'm thinking that "dieting" (or whatever exactly I did for those nine days) was not for me. Having that donut this morning made things ALL better! I AM still going to try and work on portion control and choosing healthier foods, but cannot get to the point of feeling starved and deprived...apparently that makes me become mean and crabby!

Anyway, I'm back to work tomorrow for my fourth day in a row, so I think I'll head to bed early. Maybe I'll finish my book, or at least get a bit read. I start a new Bible study on Tuesday, so it would be nice to only have one thing to read!

Good night.

Nothing Wrong

That is the final diagnosis on my computer. So, it is now sitting in front of me as I sit on the floor watching TV. Oh how wonderful that is! :o) Just kidding (sort of!), but it is nice to have it back.

Work should not have been bad, but I was rather irritable and didn't feel like being there. It was a little busy, but not THAT bad! I think things will be a lot better when I am able to go back to my regular, yet slightly healthier, diet. Up until today, I probably would have recommended this program, and maybe come Sunday or Monday I will be able to do that again. However, today was pretty bad, so I don't think I'll be becoming a seller of this product any time soon (even though I DEFINITELY lost pounds and inches which is DEFINITELY a good thing!)

Well, I'm pretty tired (kind of sad that this is one of my shortest posts after waiting for DAYS to have my computer back!) and there isn't much else to say. Back to work tomorrow, so I'd better "rest up" (and I need to remember to bring my patience along with me...I left at least half of it at home this morning.)

Good night.

Out of the Loop

That's what I feel like. I feel like not having a computer at home leaves me "out of the loop". Sure, yesterday I checked my email and did whatever "blog reading" I could do while I was at work, but I WAS at work and couldn't take the time to really read what was written, and definitely not much time to post comments...

Not having a computer at home, though, DID give me ample opportunity to mail nearly 20 cards (with my Christmas picture in them, but I won't call them "Christmas Cards" seeing as it is the middle of January!) I'm also over halfway through my book. I have also watched quite a bit of TV, took a nice long bath (when I woke up this morning it was -13 degrees not including the wind chill), and have enjoyed my naps. I also did a little bit of cleaning (not a lot, but my house does look a little better).

Since I live alone, I do enjoy the contact with the "outside world" that my computer provides. Even if it is with folks on the other side of the computer, I don't feel quite as alone (okay, maybe there are some "issues" there, but I'm just going to "go with that"!). So, I've been a little bored, which typically would mean I would snack. However, since I'm on this "diet", I can't even do that, so I have been alone, bored, AND hungry. Wow, that's a lot of whining!

Well, my dad has already looked over my shoulder a few times to see what I was doing and kind of wondering how long I was going to spend on the computer. Again, a nice part about using my own computer in my own home :o) I have no clue when I will get it back. On Tuesday, I went to the shop and they told me "nothing is wrong". I let them know that the speakers weren't ACTUALLY broken when I took it there because I had reset the computer to the way it was when I bought it. Hopefully they are doing more "investigating" like I asked. I'd really like to be able to upload iTunes some time in the near future...my iPod only has Christmas music on it. And, while I do enjoy me some Christmas music, it IS the middle of January!

Good night.

In the Shop

Yes, even though I wrote this post not too long ago, my computer is, once again, in the shop. My brother-in-law went with me yesterday, but even he couldn't convince them just to give me a brand new computer. So, when they give it back, if they haven't exactly "fixed" anything, I just have to wait for the speakers to break down AGAIN, and THEN, they will HAVE to do something about it (at least, according to my brother-in-law they do, especially since I paid $300 for an extended warranty).

Yesterday afternoon, I went to the horse races with my dad. Now, when you have $13 to your name, that probably isn't the place you should go. However, when you leave wiht $23 and had a great time with your dad, it is worth it :o)

Last night, I went and saw a movie at the hospital. There is an organization that takes movies that are still in the theater and shows them to hospitalized patients. It is a really cool deal and I got to see Tale of Despereaux for free (although it was pretty much torture being there with free popcorn, nachos, pretzels with cheese, and candy and not being able to eat ANY of it!) Oh well, I HAVE lost 2 1/2 pounds and at least a couple inches, so I suppose it is worth it, but I'm not sure how much longer I can do this!

This morning, I had a meeting at the hospital. After the meeting, the manager of the NICU gave me a tour. They redid the NICU a few years ago, but I had never seen it. If I didn't LOVE my job so much, I think I'd like to work there. She is a really great manager and they seem to have good staff. It is a really nice set-up and parents and staff had input in how it was built. Hopefully when we get our new Pediatric area they will get input from those who work and "live" there as well.

As I was driving to my mom and dad's on the FREEZING cold January day, I was thinking about how hard the past few Januarys have been. I helped with a Young Alum event at my high school last week, and it was the first time in three years that I wasn't feeling a tremendous amount of grief. Two years ago, at this time we had lost what ended up being fifteen, maybe even twenty of our patients in a four month period. Last year, it wasn't quite as many number-wise, but there was still a lot of sadness. Even though this year isn't difficult that way, I know that this marks anniversaries of those losses which has its own challenge. If you have a moment to stop by Mary Grace's blog and leave a message for her family, I am sure they would appreciate it. Tomorrow marks one year since she was born, and one year since she went to Heaven. While I am certain she misses her each and every day, those "milestone" days have to be even harder.

Well, I am off to see what kinds of things I can accomplish when I don't have the distraction of my computer. I actually did get some cards sent, and am about halfway through my book (I'm thinking about doing a "book review" when I am finished.

Have a great day!

Wait and See

Well, my brother-in-law isn't convinced that buying a new memory chip will do the trick. He actually doesn't think I should put ANY more money into this computer and that they should fix or replace the faulty parts or give me my money back. (Nice having someone watching out for me, right?!) So, tomorrow we are going to take my computer to the shop to see what they will do for me. As much as I want it fixed and able to do everything I want it to do, it is challenging for me to be without a computer at home for any amount of time...crazy, but true. So, I guess I will wait and see what happens with that. In the mean time, I'm thankful that I'm reading a good book...plus I never did get any "Christmas" cards sent...I'm sure people would enjoy hearing from me anyway!

Work was pretty slow today. I only had two patients, so was "first up" for an admission, but none came. Pretty lucky, huh?! :o) Of course, there always has to be SOME kind of drama (you know, like all those hospital shows have...ha ha!...not usually THAT kind of drama!) but that makes life interesting.

As funny as it is, I wasn't even really hungry today, so think this program is really working for me. Of course, it isn't something I am planning to stay on forever since it is quite costly, but at least I know I can do it. I will weigh myself in the morning, but I'm pretty sure I've lost at least three pounds, if not five, since I started the program on Wednesday. So, not too shabby :o)

Well, I'm really enjoying this book, so I think I'll head to bed and read until I fall asleep. Pretty boring day, but that is just fine with me!

Good night.

Fixed?

Hopefully!

This afternoon, I decided to call the company who has the warranty for my computer. I had to call them to get an authorization number before the local company can fix the problem with my speakers. I had NO idea I was going to spend over an hour and a half on the phone with "Joshua" a few states away, but I didn't have any other plans for the afternoon :o) He basically told me that the last two times all they did was restore my computer to the original settings. They did not actually "fix" anything. So, he helped me restore my computer to the original settings (after waiting for me to put my files on my external hard drive...there weren't very many seeing as they were all wiped out a month ago...) and the speakers are now working again. I even watched the TV show I wanted to see--yay! He thinks that my computer's memory is too full for the audio to work correctly and suggested I buy a memory chip or two which would help. I emailed my brother-in-law to see if that sounded reasonable to him, but after an hour and a half, I came to trust Joshua...a welcome blessing :o)

This morning, I had to run errands to hand-deliver bills that would have been overdue if I had mailed them...that would have made for five late bills in about four months...that is NOT good! Then, I went and kept score at my dad's two basketball games. Both games were pretty crazy (as seventh grade girls would be!) and both teams ended up winning which was very fun.

I went to church this evening since I work tomorrow. It was kind of nice to sit in the congregation rather than with the choir since there were a lot less distractions and I think I listened better.

Back to work tomorrow, but just for one day. I texted with my sister today and her friend had her baby on the 8th. She weighed a little over 4 pounds and had to have surgery last night. I don't know any more details than that, but am sure they could use some prayers.

Good night.

Again? Seriously?!

So, last week, I put some tunes on to play on my computer (thanks Emily !) I thought I heard a bit of scratchiness and skipping going on, but thought that could not POSSIBLY be true. My computer was just there getting it's speakers fixed at the beginning of December, plus I had them fixed back in the Spring. Out of curiosity, I called to see when they would just replace the whole computer. Apparently, the same problem has to occur four times before they replace it. Gee, thanks, as if three times isn't enough.

I tried to ignore it, thinking that MAYBE I was just hearing things because I'm sensitive to that. However, tonight I tried to watch a TV show online as well as a news clip. The sound on the TV show hardly worked at all, and the picture was also a little choppy (new problem?!) The news clip was just choppy...

I guess that means I should get it fixed if I want to enjoy those kinds of things on my computer. The worst part about it is not having a computer at home for however long they need it. I suppose now is as good of a time as any considering it is still pretty much wiped out from the LAST time they had it (AND I now have an external hard drive!)

I'm also really annoyed because people at work were talking about this show and I wanted to see it....now I'll have to see if my mom DVRed it, but then I'd have to go THERE to watch it...I could also watch it on their computer.

Anyway, I DID have a good day at work and didn't feel NEARLY as miserable with this "program" I am doing, and it actually is going pretty well (of course, a nice encouraging email from my friend to start the day helped a ton!) I think I will get into bed with a book...seeing as I can't listen to music on my computer, or watch the TV show I wanted to see.

Good night.

Pink and Brown for Gwyneth

I decided that it would be fun to participate in "Pink and Brown Day" to celebrate Gwyneth's First Birthday as suggested by her dad in this post . Yesterday, I went to my favorite clothing store and told the girl who helped me that I needed something pink and brown to wear to celebrate a birthday. Of course, I didn't happen to mention that I don't actually KNOW the child celebrating the birthday...

Anyway, I am pretty sure I found my way to "the CF Husband Blog" close to this time last year (not sure if I found it BEFORE or AFTER Gwyneth was born). I have mostly followed "from afar" (I suppose that means "lurking") but have left a comment here and there. I was drawn to the story because I have taken care of patients with CF, taken care of transplant patients, and taken care of premature babies (after they are out of the NICU, most of them are ones who have had complications because of their premature birth). Plus, I thought it was sweet that it was written by a "husband" and "dad". (As IF I need to explain...there are 1125 "followers" of that blog and there has been millions of hits...I'm not the ONLY one!)

I had someone take a couple pictures of me in my "pink and brown". None of them were THAT bad, but I chose my two favorites. Art is not my strong point, but I thought it would be fun to write a little birthday note as well. Happy Birthday Gwyneth!

_____________________________
In other "Just Me" news...today was "day two" of my little diet thing and I pretty much feel like cr--. I am hungry and tired...PLUS I had to go to a PIZZA party where there were tables full of CHOCOLATE...not my idea of fun at all. My friend assures me that I will have lots more energy and feel a ton better...I cannot see the light yet and am not sure I quite believe her. Tomorrow I have to go to work and it is my first of the days where you only drink and don't eat real food. That should be fun.

One Week In

One week into 2009 and I am finally going to post my "Farewell to 2008" post. Unfortunately, I started it WAY too late in the game to get it finished before then! Last year, my "year in review" was my 100th post and I made a picture slide show. If I have added correctly, this will be my 453rd post, and since I don't have my photos back, I am going to try and do "links" instead...which may dwindle as the year goes on...

When I was reflecting back on 2008, two words really stood out for me--Friendship and Miracles. This year surely had plenty of both. Working in a hospital with very sick children means that sometimes it seems like I am surrounded by death (and I have written about MANY sad times here). However, 2008 seemed like it had LOTS more miracles and MUCH more hope...not sure if that is how it was or if simply my perspective has changed. I wrote about the miracle of Poppy Joy on December 1. Even though she was born in 2007, her birth led me to some of the miracles I saw in 2008.

January--My first post was about working last New Year's Day. Unfortunately, the child I wrote about in the second paragraph passed away the next month, but both those little girls were miracles to have lived as long as they did. January also brought sweet Mary Grace and little Maddox and I was introduced to their sweet moms, Kim and Kenzie. In skimming through my January posts, it looks like I had some fun times with some new friends. I also posted about one mother's grief journey ...I have never met her, but she has taught me SO much. At the end of the month , I received a beautiful card from a friend and ended with "Friendship...it is wonderful gift...even "friends" who are "strangers" can make an impact. How amazing is that?! I love that God keeps sending such fantastic, unexpected individuals into my life..."

February--I took my first of two trips to California, meeting up with a friend I met when I was ten ("randomly" on the beach when I was there with my family). It was also the month the world met precious Asher although the friendship element of that meeting didn't come until later in the year :o)

March--Both Laurie in Ca and Marcie became my "blog friends" which developed into more than that as the year went on--thanks for all the blessings :o) I wrote about a baby in this post about a baby who suffered terrible injuries from her baby-sitter. Miraculously, she is alive and thriving. My "A" team girl who had been very sick in February was able to go home.

April--I took my foster parent classes and met some new people. I also met "the baby" who was VERY sick and became fast friends with his mom. Not only did this baby live long enough to make it to transplant, but he celebrated his first birthday and then Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year at home. I attended a retreat about hope which came at the perfect time.

May--I ran a 10K for Organ and Tissue Donation Awareness. I met up with one of my friends from the hospital. At that time, she was pretty sad after having had a couple miscarriages. I started praying for her and she will be having another little girl early this year. I spent quite a bit of time with the baby's mom, and celebrated my blogging anniversary . I did respite care and the little girl got to play in my new play room.

June--The month started off in finding out that an adult patient I had cared for passed away suddenly. It was SO sad to find that out, but a lot of things happened that day and I am grateful that God placed those wonderful people in my path. I actually did a few other social things, including this and this . I also went to my 10-year High School Reunion.

July--This is the month that "the baby" got out of the hospital for the first time! A miracle indeed! I came here asking for prayers for this little one . That turned out to be the first time of many times this year she was fighting for her life. She is still fighting today. I wrote about a "new friend" here and went to the Transplant Reunion . I would venture to say that July was the month that Emily and Kristy became more than just strangers on the other side of a computer. How wonderful to find friends through the "magic" of the Internet!

August--My family reunion and the month I got my BLOG MAKEOVER (which I still love!!). I got a good performance evaluation at work :o) I wrote about making a special memory with a patient who had a pretty poor prognosis. Today, she is doing GREAT! I also started corresponding with another single girl who was starting the foster parent process.

September--"We" all prayed for Baby Faith when it seemed she wanted to come way too soon. She stayed put and came out big and healthy :o) The baby was discharged from the hospital after being very sick with pneumonia, but his cousin passed away from complications after getting hit by a drunk driver. This was kind of a crazy day, but I started my first Bible Study which was a great experience and I met some neat people (I am starting another one later this month.)

October--October was an AMAZING "friend month"! I went out with my high school friend, visited my college friend in Northern California, my friend I met when we were ten in Southern California , and spent some time with my friends who are moms of patients. (It was really fun looking back at October's posts, even though some of them were kind of sad...most were not :o) )

November--My sister's friend from high school went into the hospital at 23 weeks. I went and visited her here and prayed for that baby. As far as I have heard the baby is still "cooking" while she remains on bedrest in the hospital. So, maybe the baby won't have to be in the hospital for along after she is born. I posted for the 400th time. For the second year in a row, I attended a Thanksgiving Retreat on Gratitude. (There were lots of other fun things too, but this is getting to be a pretty long post as it is!)

December--Again, I started December remembering Poppy Joy . A tiny miracle who started a whole year of me keeping my eyes open watching for all the little miracles. I spent some great quality time with many different friends. I put up a Christmas tree for the first time in three years. Everything on my computer was wiped out (and the speakers are already starting to sound crackly again), but I came to the realization that "things" are just that, and I have wonderful memories that aren't going anywhere (and an awesome brother-in-law who recovered many of the files!)

Well, there is 2008 in a nutshell (well, SORT of "in a nutshell"...it is still a VERY long post!) I am so grateful for all the people God brought into my life and for how He opened my eyes to see the miracles all around me. For sure 2009 is going to bring lots of babies (I am not sure I can COUNT how many people I know who are pregnant!), but other than that, I have no idea what is in store for this year. In a comment, Marcie wrote "...may 2009 hold great joy and many surprises"...I am sure He has more joy and surprises than I can even begin to imagine.

May 2009 bring much joy and many wonderful surprises to all who visit here. Thanks for stopping by and leaving words of encouragement...they mean so much.

Good night.

It worked out

As I wrote last night, there wasn't really a "wrong" answer to the decision that I ended up making, but I definitely like the way things worked out. Of course, it most likely would have "worked out" had I made a different decision, but I'm feeling no regrets.

I ended up calling my friend a little before 1:00 to see how things were going on her drive, and we visited for a bit until her cell phone battery was running out (and it isn't good to have a dead cell phone when you are on a long car drive!)

I went to Curves this morning and found out that I have lost a little weight this past month. I was pretty excited about that, especially since tomorrow I am going to embark on a little weight-loss adventure of sorts. I've never done anything like that, but my friend "swears" (if she swore, that is!) that it will give me more energy and feel better. It is a rather expensive "adventure", but I guess not quite as much as the one I almost took yesterday! She is planning to start the same program tomorrow too, so hopefully she will send some encouragement my way when I need some :o) Tonight I watched the first episode of the new season of The Biggest Loser and was nearly brought to tears MULTIPLE times. That is pretty typical, but this episode got me even more than past ones (which is the idea I guess considering they dubbed this the "biggest" season...) This time I actually watched the episode without consuming hundreds of really bad calories like I usually do, so that is a step in the right direction! (So, if you are thinking that you've seen my pictures...I know that I'm no where near "biggest loser" material, but I AM only five feet tall and figure this is worth a try...) Anyway, enough about that!

I got all my Christmas stuff put away and kind of organized the storage area under my steps. My Christmas things were in boxes, but I bought "green" plastic bins for everything (I guess for when I start having decorations for other holidays that can go in different color bins!) I got my thank you notes written and did a couple loads of laundry. So, it was a pretty productive day. I'm off tomorrow too and have plenty of things left to do :o) I'd better get ready for bed!

Good night.

No "Wrong" Answer

It's kind of nice when there are no "wrong" answers, but it also makes it a little challenging.

Today was a "super crazy" day at work for me. I was really stressed out all day and it actually ended with tears streaming down my face at one point. Maybe I have just been "spoiled" by having easier patients so today just SEEMED to be terrible, even though it wasn't really THAT bad. However, it sure did feel "that bad". With respiratory season comes the dreaded oximeters. Very good technology to make sure patients are getting enough oxygen to their brains by putting a "sticker" on them, but you still need a person to make sure they are working properly. Two of my three patients were on oximeters all day. Both of them were rather fussy and squirming around which leads to unnecessary alarms to my phone. They also both liked to not breathe very well when they were upset so I couldn't just IGNORE the constant alarms, just in case they did, in fact, need more oxygen. I ran from one room to the other ALL DAY LONG (of course, if I had had a parent there, or one that spoke English, it would have made things a little easier...) I also had to go off the floor with my OTHER patient for a 30 minute test and THAT patient decided to buy himself an oximeter as well...at least for a little while.

All in a day's work, I guess...it was a LONG twelve hours for sure, and I am SO happy to have the next three days off!

I did, however, have the opportunity to be a little spontaneous (or maybe "impulsive"?!) and take a little overnight road trip with a friend. It would have involved driving all night long and then using one of my free airline tickets to fly back home. After discussions with a couple different people, the decision was ultimately left up to me. Both of them made good points, but neither really tried to sway me one way or the other. In the end, I decided that there may be a better time, maybe an even more fun way, or more necessary way, to use my free airline ticket. While driving all night long with my friend would have been fun, and it would have been nice to get away from here for a while, I definitely would have been pretty tired when I got back home. I also wouldn't have been able to DO anything with my friend except talk, and I'm not a very good car traveler so probably would have been asleep before we left the state! Plus, I was pretty crabby after the long shift, so probably wouldn't have been that great of company anyway.

If I would have gone, it would have been great, but not going was a good choice too. Now, I will sleep in my own bed for as long as I want since I don't have to get up early. Tomorrow, if I want, I have all day to do all those things that I have been meaning to do. No "wrong" answer, but I think I made the "right" one for this time...with a little help from my friends :o)

Good night.

SOME day...

Yes, SOME day I will send "Christmas Cards". SOME day, I will write my thank you notes. SOME day, I will actually finish my "end of 2008" post. THAT day, however, was NOT today!

Even though I slept really well, I dragged through most of the day. I went to church and then had breakfast with my mom. I did get my agenda sent for the meeting this week which was something that HAD to get done today. I went with my dad to his girls' basketball game to keep score. It was pretty fun even though they got beat pretty badly (it's usually entertaining watching 7th grade girls play basketball, especially when they are playing for my dad because he is SO fun and the girls at least TRY to play well even if they are not good basketball players!)

I actually didn't go to the hospital today to visit my friend. I didn't really think she needed to be subjected to my apparent "funk", but it was still a hard decision to make. Thankfully, though, I didn't really HAVE to make a decision because her phone was turned off when I called from the store to see if she needed anything.

I did end up talking to her, and to another friend, on the phone for a while which definitely helped bring me out of whatever was "ailing me" earlier in the day :o)

It's only 9:00, but I'm thinking about getting into bed with a book and go to sleep earlier than usual. Back to work tomorrow.

Good night.

Like a Rock

Not QUITE long enough, but I did sleep like a rock last night. I was still up WAY past "bed time" considering I had to go to work today. I got ready a LOT slower this morning than I did yesterday and barely had enough time to blow dry my hair so it was a "no make-up" day. Oh well, it was Saturday and it isn't like I'm trying to impress anyone :o) My long hair did drive me crazy all day long...I think I'm ready for it to be long enough to donate even though then I'm sure I'll miss it!

It was a pretty quiet day today. I spent more of the day working my mouth than anything else, which was fine with me :o) Thankfully I had fun people to talk to! The roads were a bit slippery today, so rather than staying and chatting with my friend, I was "instructed" to head home when I got off.

Last night, I cooked fajitas (which is one of the reasons I was up so late ) and my friend and I had that for lunch (she loves that recipe and it was MUCH better than anything the cafeteria would have on a Saturday!) and I had it for dinner as well. It was pretty darn yummy if I do say so myself :o)

Well, I had planned on going to bed a lot earlier tonight, but now I'm kind of wrapped up in the football game. My family does a pool where we pick teams on Christmas (only ten of us at $1 each). My team is Indianapolis (I had the fifth pick). So, I "need" them to win and it is in overtime right now! Of course, LT and I have the same Alma Mater, so I suppose it is o-KAY either way. Speaking as if I regularly watch football on TV...I do enjoy me some baseball and a little college basketball, but remember there is no man living in this house! (I TOTALLY enjoy watching sports on TV WITH people, but it isn't usually where I turn to first.)

I have tomorrow off and I think that will be good (I have a strong inkling I will find my way to the hospital at some point, but at least I can sleep it). Alright, back to the football game I guess.

Good night.

Edited to add...thirty minutes after the start of this post and my dollar is gone. I think my mom has San Diego, so MAYBE I will root for her team!

Tossing and Turning

I sure hope I do a LOT less of that tonight than I did last night! Yet another reason why staying up until 3:00 in the morning is not such a great idea if you then plan on staying in bed late. When I got into bed at 11:00 last night, I pressed the "sleep" button on my alarm which plays music for an hour. I hardly ever hear music for that long. However, last night I was DEFINITELY still awake when it went off and for a while after that. I then woke up multiple times during the night (which was a short night anyway considering my alarm was set for 5:30!). Twice I woke up after having different dreams with the same message that a patient in my hospital had passed away...that made it even harder to fall back asleep. I got ready rather quickly for running on little sleep, knowing that things would be pretty tough if my nightmares were actually reality. How relieved and thankful I was to find out that nightmare had not come true...at least not last night...hopefully not any time.

I don't know that much about dreams, but I'm guessing last night pretty much was all the stress and worry finding its way out. I got a text message from "the baby's mom" earlier today, but didn't get it until later. She was wondering how I was doing, knowing some of what has been going on here. It is so nice to know that I have people who understand. I AM tired (and should have gone to bed a long time ago!), but this is an "acute" kind of tiredness that I'll be able to "get over" pretty easily :o) For now, I'm having some fun in between the harder times, so I'm not too worried! I'm feeling at least mostly balanced, and I think that is good.

I DO, however, have patients that will want an awake nurse tomorrow, so I'd better go to bed. I'm feeling pretty darn sleepy, so I think it will take long once my head hits the pillow!

Good night.

I Should NOT...

I should NOT have stayed up until 3:00 in the morning. Night owl I am not, and I LOVE my sleep...so, I really could have slept all day but knew I eventually had to get up to go hang out with some friends. It was "football day" and "the big game" was to start at noon...I made it to my friends' house by halftime, which I thought was pretty good :o) I had a good time and was glad to do something "social" (two days in a row going to someone else's house...wow!)

I was, however, pretty much "done" with football after one game, but did stay until about 5:30. I had "big plans" of MAYBE working on my "Christmas Cards" or possibly my "thank yous"...and I still need to finish my "Farewell to 2008" post...and my house is getting back to being barely presentable...

but, sometimes there are more important things than that.

In tonight's case, one of my friends was feeling particularly sad today. Even though I'm pretty sure she would have managed to be fine without me, I wasn't sure I would be able to do any of those other things knowing how sad she was and doing nothing to at least try to help. Plus, to be honest, I probably would have found some other excuse not to do those things... So, I picked up some dinner and headed on over to "her place" where we visited and found things to smile and laugh about. She and her daughter are such blessings to me, so when she told me it would be okay for me to come visit tonight I only thought about those other things for a second because I can use all the blessings I can get :o)

Well, back to work tomorrow...I guess I'm not going to work on my "Farewell to 2008" post tonight. It's probably going to be one of those things that is built up to be something spectacular and falls flat...I'm not sure it will be "worth the wait", but it definitely has been good for me to look back at my posts from 2008 to see where I've been, done, seen, learned, etc. (there were 345 of them...no wonder it is taking me so long!)

Happy New Year!
Good night.

Bye Bye

So, I started typing my "Farewell to 2008" post when it was almost 2:00 and have only made it to March...I'm getting VERY sleepy so think I'll have to save the rest of that post for "later today". In the meantime, this is me saying "bye bye" to 2008. 2008 was a great year and I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in 2009.