One On One

Friday, the agency worker again forgot to pick up the girls. Of course, I was at work and it was just as/more stressful as when their mom has flaked out on getting them for visits. Super annoying and I'm not so sure I am liking this new arrangement. Last week wasn't much fun at all between trying to arrange visits, transportation, working 5 out of 7 days, dealing with a crabby/crying 3-year old and I was SO ready for a weekend off (plus two more days=4 days "weekend"-yay!)

Saturday, I brought the girls to a visit from 9-3. I told their mom I needed to pick them up that early since I was going to an event (the annual fundraiser for my/the teen's high school). However, if she had someone who could bring them back later, that was fine with me. She told me she didn't want to ask anyone to help. Okay, fine, whatever ;) I got my hair colored/done in the morning while they were gone and admit to looking pretty darn cute to go out for the evening. I asked my mom to be my DD (I ended up having 5 glasses of wine, so good call ;) ). I didn't get any pictures taken, though, and that's a bummer! My hair will never again look so cute :(

I left the teen in charge of the little one for the evening as a "baby-sitter" and it was so awesome to see her in baby-sitter mode instead of going straight to mommy mode. Just knowing that I have given her the opportunity to be a "kid" for the past 8+ months feels great :) I had a super fun time at the event (um, 5 glasses of wine, it'd be pretty hard not to...ha!) and visited with lots of different people. Some of them know the teen and it warmed this "mom"'s heart to hear other people say how great she is too :) That school really is a terrific fit for her and I pray that her mom will see that and do what it takes for her to continue going there. I came home to a sleeping little one and a clean house...bonus! :)

Yesterday morning, the girls and I went to Mass together. After Mass, I dropped the little on off at her mom's house. She stayed with her mom all day, all night, and then all day today. So, their mom had all four "little" one's without the teen to help her yesterday. I think that's something that NEEDS to happen during this transition for it to be a successful one. Last night, their mom just had the little one and she just had her today. So, they got one-on-one time which is also something that needs to happen during this transition. I'm not sure what all they did, but do know that she didn't take a nap today because they were running all over the place and I had to pick her up at a thrift store (a different one than the one she told me they would be at and she didn't bother to walk to the place where they were supposed to be since I started walking in their direction...nice.) She fell asleep in the car on the way home at 4:30 which is totally not a good nap time. Thankfully, she wasn't too crabby when she got woken up from her nap this time! Oh well, I guess I'm going to have to be prepared for a tired/crabby 3-year-old during this transition. I opted to skip a visit for tomorrow since I was a little irritated by today. I'm the one who provides transportation and it rather disrupts my day, so I'm not going to do it tomorrow. However, I think I'll bring her there on Thursday for another one-on-one day/overnight/day before I bring the teen there on Friday evening for their weekend visit.

While the little one was getting one-on-one with her brothers and mom, I was having super quality one-on-one with the teen :) After we dropped off the little one, we had brunch with my parents. She'd been talking about this event for weeks that was basically a college fair for the big university near here. So, we went to that and spent nearly 3 hours discovering more about the different majors and campus activities, got free stuff, and enjoyed each other's company. She got a new t-shirt and shared her free pens with me :) It was a really nice day and just felt like we should go for a walk. So, we walked to a Subway that's probably half a mile away, ate, then walked back. Then, we watched the Grammy's and played a game of Skip-Bo. We seriously spent all day together and it was fabulous. I just love her! Of course, I had to be all cheesy/dorky and tell her how much I enjoyed spending time with her and that it kinda made me emotional since she's so great :) I was sad to (partially) hear how her mom treated her on the phone when I suggested she call the little one to tell her good night. It was their first (only?) night apart since she went to summer camp for two nights back in July, so I imagined it would be hard for both of them. However, their mom was kind of like "why are you calling?"...at least that's what it sounded like to me. :(

Tonight, we went to dinner at a nearby Chinese restaurant and I got both of them Valentine's Day cards/gifts. I kind of forgot about getting anything for their mom from them, but am not really feeling guilty/bad about that...I did give the caseworker a card and $5 gift card...ha! Now, the little one is in bed and the teen and I have been sitting on the couch together (with computers in our laps) for the past 2 hours "watching" TV.

Tomorrow, I'll get some one-on-one time with the little one. :)

That's what's been going on around here...Happy Valentine's Day :)
Good night.

The Sun Came Out

Yes, for a short time today, the sun came out...for the first time in nearly 2 weeks. Of course, I was inside at work so didn't REALLY get to enjoy it...and by the time I left, the roads were slick and covered with a new layer of snow. Have I mentioned that I am ready for spring?!

It was still a "sunshiny day" because I only had two patients and it was a "slow day" all around. So slow, in fact, that I forgot to give medications on time...oops! Since I only had two patients, I got to be my chatty self and spend time visiting with them. I love when I get to do that...and imagine that normal conversation is a welcome change :o) I finally got to be the nurse for a little girl who apparently likes to talk about "Nurse Amanda" (adorable...ha!) My other patient was a middle-school girl who, very sadly, is really sick. However, she was in good spirits considering how "unwell" she is. Near the end of my shift, she looked at me and asked if I was working again tomorrow. Although I knew where she was going with that question, I teased her about whether or not I should say "'yes" :o) The look on her face when I told her that, yes, I was working tomorrow and should be able to be her nurse was just awesome. I could also tell that it made her mom happy as well. Such a special feeling to see first hand--in the faces of the kids and their families--how much of a difference I am making...being a nurse is awesome :o)

Although yesterday was cloudy, there were plenty of sunny moments. I spent most of the day at the photography studio with my mom, sister, and nephew. His appointment for Valentine's Day/7 month pictures was at 1:30...lucky for them, he was still ALL smiles when we were finally called back at 2:45/3:00...what a LONG wait! He was SUCH a ham and smiled for every.single.picture! It was hilarious! He had all of us laughing because as soon as she got behind the camera, he just smiled away...I "stole" some pictures from my sister's fb page. She didn't put up any of him in his "Handsome Devil" shirt...and I opted not to post any of the "baby in the bathtub" pictures here, but these two are a pretty good representative of how smiley he was. It was a lot of fun...and neither my sister nor my mom annoyed me at all, so that is progress :o)

Well, it's after 11:00 and I have to work in the morning. I also have a load of wash in the washer that I did last night, so probably need to take care of those clothes before I have to wash them again. Hoping for another good day at work--and for more sun!--tomorrow.
Good night.

I have flowers!

So, I seriously took those pictures of my paper whites on Monday, and the ones on top of my TV bloomed yesterday (or maybe today)! Even though those blinds are shut most of the time (since it seems I'm hardly home, or it isn't light when I am), that plant must get more sun than the Christmas-themed ones sitting on my table. Those ones are also near mostly closed blinds, but the covered porch is there making it harder for the sunlight to sneak through. Those flowers are close to blooming, but probably not for a few more days.

I took this picture when I was holding the "stem" toward me, it usually "hangs" over like the next picture.

It is really funny how the plant reached itself toward the windows to get as much sunlight as possible...amazing that it just knows what it needs! And yes, that is what decorations I have out right now. I have not yet put away my fall decorations ("all" three things) or brought out any Christmas itms. Thank goodness for my Christmas themed paper white and my Christmas music or it would appear that I am a "Scrooge"! Amber put snow on her blog. It is REALLY subtle, but I decided my blog needed snow to go along with the Christmas songs (and hopefully another little something to let people know that I am actually in the Christmas spirit, even if only in my heart and on my blog!) :o)

One would think that I would have my decorations out considering I haven't worked since what, Monday?! (re-reading this...I DID work part of Tuesday...that was the day I got pooped on!) However, these past few days have been really busy! This morning, I met my grandma at the mall to help her shop for my family. Well, this year I mostly helped her with where to buy gift cards since that is the easiest, and most practical thing (she is going to get my sister a grocery store gift card and some baby food...we ARE getting older when that will be very exciting for her!) She bought me lunch at Panera and then I met up with some friends from Curves. They were meeting for lunch, but were still visiting when I got there so I had a coffee and visited for a while. Then, I was supposed to have a "phone date" with a friend, but she stood me up (ha, just kidding...we postponed it because the timing didn't work for either of us today). I had a doctor's appointment at 4 for a physical since I need that to "renew" my foster parent license and also as an "ER follow-up". I thought maybe I'd have to have a "female exam", but was told by the previous resident that if I had had a certain number of normal ones, I only needed them ever 2-3 years (unless "circumstances" changed). This was a different doctor, so I didn't know what she would say...very excited to say I left there without having to have one...yay! That poor resident got an ear full though...I didn't realize how much I had talked until I got to my car and it was 5:15! Nice little "therapy" session on my "off week" from meeting with the counselor..Ha ha!

Well, I no longer have a roll out of bed and go to work kinda hair do (well, I may not have had that before, but I DID often roll out of bed and go!) so I'd better go to sleep since I work the next three days. I spent quite a bit of time trying to do it this morning and it doesn't look NEARLY as good as it did when my sister styled it :o( I HATE that!

Enjoy the blog snow (and the Christmas music!)

Good night.

Paperwhites and Poppy Joy

Remember this picture? That is one of the two paperwhite bulbs I kept from the annual Perinatal and Pediatric Memorial Service which was held the second Sunday in October. The third one I gave to Angie Smith :o) (Um, yeah that meeting is "Still Surreal", so that was a good title for that post!) Well, I am going to have to shoot her an email to see if she "planted" hers because those things are AMAZING! I didn't "plant" mine until November 11, right before my party. I bought a couple vases on sale, some marbles, and some ribbon, and made one a "fall" theme and the other a "Christmas" theme. Never did I imagine that less than three weeks later, they would look like this:

I may have messed around with colors and angles a little too much, but those things are HUGE! All I did is fill the bottom of the vase with water and this is what happened! Seriously, the easiest plant to grow...ever! I would definitely recommend this type of activity to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, which is what we did at the memorial service. These things can even grow in the winter! And, I'm not at all "crafty" and I am sure the "crafty" folks could make a beautiful vase where these flowers could grow! But, this was even easy enough for me to do! I'll have to post more pictures when they bloom. :o)

I am setting this post to publish on December 1, 2009 at 10:26, exactly two years after Poppy Joy Luce was born, exactly one year after I wrote this post in a tribute to her life. I re-read that post, one that definitely was written from the heart, and the words still ring true today. I still believe that "meeting" that tiny baby sent a ripple effect that brought people into my life who have impacted me more than I can even begin to explain...and never could have imagined. While the whole post was worth a re-read, I had no idea how many more "Blessings upon blessings...Friendships, unexpected, maybe even unlikely..." would blossom in the year to come (in fact, I'd venture to say that nearly all of the people who read my blog these days were not readers of my blog one year ago...and I love my "blog friends"!).

Last year, on Poppy's first birthday, Angie wrote this post. On that day, they finalized the adoption of Adrienne, Poppy's little sister. I just finished Angie's book, even though I have had it for a while (but finishing it on the eve of Poppy's Joy's second birthday is perfect timing, if you ask me!). It came in handy when I was at my Thanksgiving retreat because I "happened" to be at the point in the book when they were preparing for Thanksgiving 2007, and Poppy's upcoming birth (this is the post she referenced in that chapter). What a wonderful perspective, and it was nice to have something to share with the group at the retreat :o)

I may not have as many words as I did last year, but Poppy Joy continues to have a very special place in my heart. I will close the same way I did last year:
So, today, I am remembering Poppy Joy, thanking God for her life, and all the blessings that have happened because she lived. Prayers to her family, as they surely are missing her even more today.

I'm a Winner!!

Three weeks ago, I wrote this post which mentioned a blog I had "rediscovered". The quote she chose for this week's canvas giveaway was--“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” ~Jim Elliot--I had never heard this quote, but it was appropriate for the kinds of thoughts I have been having. So many of my "blog friends" have already embraced this, and I am learning to try and think that way too. (Yesterday's contest entry also didn't have any requirements that involved thinking, so of COURSE I jumped at that chance!)

This afternoon, I was taking a little break from working (I had a MUCH slower day today which was much appreciated. I think I was the ONLY one who was "slow", so was able to help my much busier co-workers...hopefully they thought I was "helpful" anyway!) and checked my email/Google reader. I started to skim through the latest post on that blog. I NEARLY missed my name and my comment as "the winner" of the canvas. (Of course, I wasn't in the company of anyone who "gets" blogs, so I had to do all my celebrating internally until I got home. I could hardly wait to share my excitement with my "blog friends"!)

The "buzz" on her blog is that these canvases may start being for sale...or in some way be available to those who are NOT "winners" (I am grinning from ear to ear about being a "winner"...LOVE it!) In any case, take a look at the canvas that is soon to be mine. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone to take a picture of me with it.

(And, not to make light of her illness, but since Gitzen girl can't even breathe the outside air [but has an AMAZING attitude and has found wonderful ways of blessing people without even leaving her home!], I can assure my mother that there will be no stalking going on, even though my address was a requirement if I actually want that canvas to be delivered to my home...)

SO, it was a very exciting day for me :o) Good day at work (with free lunch!) and being a winner....Sa-WEET!

Ok, I should stop with the gloating before she changes her mind or something :o)
Good night.

Nature's Beauty

Tonight, I am feeling pretty sad. There is so much going on inside my head and all around me. I have no regrets for feeling so deeply for the people I know who are hurting, but I am not sure how long I will be able to stay strong emotionally. I have a feeling that one of these days, one of these moments, I am just going to explode emotionally and it probably will not be pretty. In an attempt to ward off some of the sadness inside, I decided to look through some of my pictures. Not all of them have made it back onto my computer, but I was reminded of some very happy times. I am not an "outdoorsy" girl, but every once in a while I take a moment to enjoy nature's beauty. While I do really sort of wish I was near the ocean, and the warmer spring weather would be more than welcome, hopefully the memories and the promise of an end to winter will help me through the coming days.

Good night.

Every Day Moments

A while back, I read a couple posts on this blog but didn't become a "faithful reader" at that time. However, a couple weeks ago, I decided to put it on my "reader" because she has some really good things to say. Of course, it doesn't hurt that two weeks ago, she decided to have a giveaway every Wednesday :o) I'm always up for the chance to win a prize! Two weeks ago, she asked people to comment about something that made them happy that week for a chance to win. Last week, the comment was to be about "letting go" of something in order to make life more manageable. Today, she wanted to know what every day moment we would stop savor today. Very thought provoking questions, especially when asked by someone who has been placed in the situation she has been. Of course, now that I have told "you" about this contest, I will have one more person to "compete against" to actually win, but it is a good exercise even if I never win!

Anyway, not sure if this is what I wrote when I commented, but today I definitely savored my time. Last week, I know I sort of complained about having too much time off, but mostly that is because I don't know how to use my time to do things like clean and organize! It was too much sitting around doing nothing! Of course, I was SO very grateful to have a sitting around doing nothing day yesterday! There are times when I really wish that I was a mother. I am sure when the time is right, God will make me one in whatever way it is supposed to happen. Until that day comes, I am realizing that there are reasons why things are the way they are. Because I am "Just Me", there are things that I can do that other people cannot, and I really do love that.

Today, I went and worked out (I HAD to since it had been nearly a week!). The machines felt like they were kicking my butt this morning, but I'm guessing that is good for me :o) After my workout, I picked up my friend and "the baby" for lunch. They are going to be here until Friday and it was SO nice to be able to spend two different days with them. Last spring when she was here and he was very sick, we went to a Greek restaurant. I had never had a gyro and thought it was SO good! I didn't have one again until today. What a special memory that is...my first AND my second gyro with a very special friend (and today that baby was a talkative 16-month-old who actually was really well-behaved!). Since I didn't have any plans, I brought her to the grocery store to pick up a few things before bringing her back to her "home away from home". Very nice that my car seat got used twice in a week!

After that, before my next "plan", I kind of vegged out at home. I spent some time chatting with a friend who was struggling. It was great to have that time to spend. I don't have laundry piled up (not really anyway), loads of dishes, little ones to chase, or big kids to chauffeur from activity to activity. I could focus on her and what was going on and just "listen" without distractions. I can't say that I helped a great deal, but it was definitely time well spent for me.

I am going to be "playing mom" for a week starting on Saturday morning. So, this afternoon I met with the mom to talk about some of the details. This weekend I WILL be chauffeuring kids and getting a taste of what it is like to be a single working mom (since I actually do have to go to my "real" job on Monday and Wednesday as well as a meeting and Bible Study on Tuesday). As I was leaving, I ran into a friend (she actually pulled up right behind my parked car on the street!) She said "I think I owe you some money for something"...I had sent her an email (one of only four I have sent so far) to see if she would donate 5 or 10 dollars to the March for Babies since I will be doing that walk in April. She pulled out her check book and wrote me a check for $50. I was pretty much in shock and didn't have time to let it all soak in because I was on to my next "activity", but it definitely brought me to tears when I got home. What awesome friends I have!

Anyway, I had to rush off because I had made plans to walk with my friend from Curves. She actually went for walks by herself yesterday and the day before, so that is really good. Her husband's condition continues to worsen, but I am not sure how much longer they are thinking he will be here. It sounds like she had other friends taking care of her while I was working/recovering the past five days, so that is nice. It was rather cold today, but I said that if she was willing to brave the cold, then I would brave it with her. I think I did more talking than she did, but hopefully it was a nice distraction and I didn't hinder her (she is pretty outspoken so I think she would have told me to be quiet and let her have a few words!)

After that, I met a friend who works at the hospital for dinner (not the pregnant one, the one who works on an adult floor). We hadn't had dinner for a while, or seen each other in nearly a month, so it was nice to catch up. Both of us had pretty icky shifts this weekend and it is always helpful to vent with someone who understands! We talked for about 2 hours and she had to go do homework (I was supposed to finish my minutes for the meeting from two weeks ago, but guess I will do that tomorrow!)

It seemed like my driver's side rear tire was losing air. I ran around so much that I didn't make a point to stop and get it fixed today. I work the next two days and then start baby-sitting, so wasn't sure when that was going to happen. Unfortunately, that isn't something that you can just "not fix"! Fortunately, my parents live really close and my dad gets off early. So, I traded cars with my mom and my mom will take my dad's truck to work. My dad will get my tire fixed and we will trade back tomorrow...have I mentioned that I have AWESOME parents?!

Well, I managed to get through the day without a nap even though I was up past 2:00 n the morning! Pretty impressive in my book because I could probably take a nap even if I slept for 12 hours!

Time. Not sure if that is exactly the "every day moment" she was going for, but I definitely savored every minute of my time today. I definitely think I used it much better than I do on most days.

Back to work tomorrow! Good night.

Ha, Ha...after I hit "publish" and my blog refreshed, this was the "Quote of the Day"--"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." ~William Penn So funny!

Great While it Lasted

Too often, we do not always appreciate things (or people) until they are gone. As much as I would like to say I am not one of "those people", that would be very untruthful. However, I WILL say that I have been blessed to have been introduced to people who definitely appreciate the little things WAY more than the "average person" and I am thinking some of that has rubbed off on me. I can only hope, right?!

It seems I was pretty emotional on and off for a couple weeks and then last week I felt like I was going to fall apart. That "one day" I pretty much begged for winter to be over and spring to arrive. I am not sure why I thought that would make things better, but it definitely seemed like it was worth a shot.

So, when the cold winds went away and we had DAYS and DAYS of temperatures well above freezing, even into the 60s in FEBRUARY, I definitely did my best to appreciate that. I'm not really an "outdoorsy" person and I am by no means a "sun goddess" (my pale part-Swedish skin likes to burn rather than tan anyway), but I realize that I needed to enjoy this "gift". I opened my windows to let in the fresh air. I made sure I put up the blinds (sometimes I kind of forget to do that) to let the sunshine in. I sat outside (in the shade) reading a book. I went on long walks with a friend. I rolled down the car windows (until my super long hair blowing in my face got too annoying). And, hopefully I remembered to say thank you a time or two :o)

I feel refreshed and renewed (even though I'm still pretty emotional about certain things, but think that is just because of where my heart is right now rather than it being some kind of "emotional issue") and this break from the cold was exactly what I needed.

Tomorrow, they are predicting up to six inches of accumulating snow. Now, that IS kind of a bummer, but I don't think I am really in a position to complain too much about it :o) I got spring in February for goodness sake! I asked for spring and I GOT it...what a blessing (and, hopefully writing this down will remind me of that when I am shoveling snow tomorrow!)

The spring was great while it lasted, and it will come again. I am so thankful for that, and so very grateful that I have learned to appreciate things like Spring in February.

Back to work tomorrow...it will be really nice to have a day with a little bit of structure and people to talk to. I'm thinking that if I had another day off, some people may wonder if it was a good idea to accept me as their "facebook friend"...seriously, I was starting to annoy myself (and yet, for some reason, I forgot about the laundry in the dryer...and one would think with this much time off, my home would be more than "company ready", but NOPE...)

Good night.

Bonus Afternoon and Heart Attack Soup

When I got to work this morning, it looked like it was going to be a day of discharges (and hopefully not quickly followed by admissions!) We tried to split them up as best we could among the nurses there, but some were "for sure" discharges and others were "maybes" (pretty much depended on how much the transplant team wanted to work today...oh, did I just write that?!...not nice, but unfortunately true at times...). I actually "picked" two kids who were for sure going home since I hadn't worked in a few days so wouldn't complain QUITE as much about having to take a new patient :o) After I got report, I realized that it was highly likely that ALL THREE of my patients would be going home...yay for them...and possibly a yay for me as well.

I sent one kid home at 9:50, another at 10:15, and the third at 2:00. I mentioned to the charge nurse that my dad's basketball team played at 3:00. She said that if we didn't get paged with any admissions and my kids were all gone by then, I could leave and go to his game!

So, I clocked out around 2:45 and headed to the game, excited to have a "bonus afternoon" to do whatever I wanted. (Of course, my "big plans" didn't get done any of the FOUR WHOLE DAYS I had off this week, but it was a good idea anyway!) The game before his ran late, but was a pretty exciting game (eighth grade girls he had coached when they were in sixth grade, so it was great seeing how much they have grown and improved!). The referees were not that great for seventh grade "B" girls and called every little travel and foul, which you REALLY can't do with that caliber of players. Needless to say, it was nearly 5:00 by the time the game was over! There went the afternoon :o) but at least it was in the gym and not at the hospital!

I went and visited with my parents for about an hour. My mom spent some time this morning with one of my friends and I had to hear HER version of the stories :o) My dad and I also had to tell my mom ALL about the game she missed (my dad ALWAYS does that and he likes it when he has a witness to back up his stories!)

When I got home, my plans to do anything productive went out the window (even though they are closed tightly with predictions of wind chills in the -25 to -35 range...that is just CRAZY!) I HAVE to get my work Christmas cards and presents put together before Monday because that is the last time I work before Christmas. I ALSO need to work on minutes from the meeting I had the first week in December and prepare for a meeting I have on Tuesday. I also should probably wrap some more presents and think about what I am going to do about Christmas cards this year...and yet, here I sit with the computer on my lap doing none of those things, but at least I am sitting by the Christmas tree listening to my Christmas music!

Eventually, I decided I should make something for dinner (just a side note to declare I actually cooked dinner THREE times this week...and that does not include the day I made macaroni and cheese from the box or the day I had frozen tortellini with cheese!) Last week, I tried out a recipe from my soup cookbook. I only used half of what I bought, and I wasn't sure what else I would make with those ingredients, so I made it again. When I told one of my friends some of the ingredients, she dubbed it "heart attack soup" since it not only contains four kinds of cheese, but also two cups of half and half...it DOES taste good, though (and why WOULDN'T it with those kinds of ingredients!)

I'm feeling WAY more tired than I should, considering I haven't had to get up early in a while and I didn't even have to work a whole 12-hour shift! My body is pretty sore from shoveling that ice yesterday, but I don't really have any excuse to be ready for bed at 10:00 (although I AM pretty comfy cozy in my two pairs of pants, three long-sleeved shirts, socks and slippers...I am rebelling against turning up the heat any more...I already had to turn it up a couple notches this week...)

So, I'm nice and warm, have a full belly of heart attack soup, and really don't feel like doing anything more tonight (although, I may do some reading since I found a new place I like to sit and do that).

My "bonus afternoon" wasn't exactly spent the way I wanted it to, but it was great to have it anyway!

Good night.

Not Yet...

So, I called about my computer before I went to pick it up just to make sure it was done. Not quite yet, I was told...maybe tomorrow. I'm not going to lie and say I will be really patient. HOWEVER, as long as the only thing that is different when I pick it up is that the speakers work...I will be okay with however long it takes!

Work was quite a bit slower today than yesterday, so I did get my share of "computer time" in while I was there, but it isn't quite the same as just "chillin'" on my couch watching TV checking on things whenever I want!

Tomorrow the young adult group is having brunch after church. We haven't done anything in a LONG time (our "group" isn't really very organized and have actually only gotten together a couple times in the past two years!). It will be fun to see everyone and hopefully plan another gathering soon.

Nothing else exciting...somehow I seem to have MORE to say (even if it isn't really "anything") when I am at home than when I am not!

Well, maybe I should go home and eat dinner (see, if I could do this at home, I would have been "multi-tasking"!)

Good night :o)

Special Memories

Today was a really good day off!

Turning the heat on just enough to keep the chill out made for PERFECT sleeping temperature! I was SO comfy cozy in bed that it was hard to get up, even at 9:45! My sister called me at 10 to see what our plans were going to be for the day. I was still in my PJs and still had to shower before 11:00 church!

After church, I talked to one of the members of our Young Adult group that really hasn't done anything as a group in nearly a year. There are TONS of young people, especially young families in my parish, but none of us who are in the "group" are really event planners. It is unfortunate that this is kind of untapped territory, but I am not sure I am the one to get things going. We did pick a day to go out for brunch after church, so hopefully we will have a good turnout for that. Then, maybe we can figure out some other ideas for what we want our group to do.

I had brunch at mom and dad's before going out with my sister. She wants to make a scrapbook for her friend's baby, but has never done any scrapbooking. So, she asked for my help. We went to a couple stores, but didn't find exactly what we were looking for (she left a message for our aunt who sells scrapbook stuff, so hopefully she will call back and get us what we want!). Scrapbooking isn't really all that relaxing for me. Apparently, it is rather stressful for my sister too, but we did okay for about an hour before we decided to quit for the day. Her friend hit the 25-week mark, but is only measuring a little over 23 weeks. We went and visited her before dinner. She is in really good spirits, but that little one needs lots of prayers. Hopefully she will stay inside and continue to grow and get stronger.

It had been a while since I hung out with my sister, so that made for a special day.

After dinner with my parents and sister, I headed back to the hospital (I know, I LOVE that place a little too much...well, it isn't so much the PLACE, but the people there!) I wasn't planning to stay long, but you know, that whole love to talk thing :o) I was there for a little over two hours, but it was SO much fun! (If I was someone else, I probably would think it is a little nutty to go to the hospital on your day off to play. But, I AM myself and I wouldn't change a thing!) Such special memories that will be forever treasured. My heart is full of joy, hope, love, and more from this time spent together. It was SO great! Plus, I received a very thoughtful gift that is a tangible reminder of this day (and the past few weeks, and a few other times!)

I am so blessed...and am SO grateful that God has brought people into my life to remind me about how very blessed I truly am.

Great day, and I'm off tomorrow, so it will be a great night too!

Worth it

Today was my day off. After spending most of the past three days at the hospital, one would think I would want to stay far away. However, I went there today for a good reason.

Back in January, this precious little girl passed away after complications following a transplant.

She had been a foster child, so her parents and 5-year-old brother have been at the foster parent gatherings I have attended. At one of the gatherings, her mom mentioned that she REALLY wanted to go visit, since she had toys to donate and books to return. However, every time she packed up the car to go, she couldn't do it. Completely valid reaction in my opinion. So, I asked if it would be easier to go if I met her there and we went to the floors together. She thought that would be helpful, and today was the day.

She brought bagels for the nurses, which was really nice. I was her escort as we went from here to there, and made phone calls to make sure she could see as many people as possible. It actually would have been pretty challenging to do on her own, even if she WASN'T doing it as the mother of a child who died there. I knew the phone numbers, and had the badge that let us into "restricted" areas. It made her so happy to be able to say thank you to many of the people who took care of her daughter. It was SO worth it to me to help make sure today happened for her and her son.

They took me out to lunch and we had a nice visit. She listened to me tell my story of the conversation I had with my mom last night (next paragraph for THAT!) We talked a lot about her little girl, and their hopes of adopting another child. (We ran into one of the caseworkers from our agency in the hospital and her son said "we need to talk to her about getting us another child"...) It was definitely good for both of us. Totally worth going to work on my day off (plus that was a very easy, and fairly good, reason to not do anything to my house!)

My mom had never really shown any kind of support for my desire to be a foster mom. We have a really good relationship, but NOT really good at having "tough" conversations. Last night, in the middle of a conversation that ran the gamut of topics, she said something like "I would help you as much as I could"...What?! My tearful response included "that is the first time you have EVER said anything like that". She then did the whole "this idea came out of nowhere/I didn't know what your 'plan' was" bit which was a little annoying seeing as I've wanted to be a foster parent since I was like twelve, I have been talking about it for at LEAST a year, I took classes SIX months ago, had my home study, and have been going to foster parent gatherings... Anyway, it was a bit emotional. She expressed that she wasn't sure she could open her heart up like that. I told her that I believe I would perfect for foster parenthood because I like being able to do little things that make a big difference. I don't think I would mind being a "stepping stone" (of course, I haven't actually "been there", so don't know for certain, but that is something I think I'd be good at). So, while that didn't really SOLVE anything, at least we had an open conversation.

Tonight I had my Bible Study and it went well. I actually participated quite a bit, maybe one of the people who talked the most. (I did get hives...I've been getting those more often these days...what's up with that?! See my "No Hives" post for more details about THAT!) Hopefully I didn't participate TOO much, but I think I stuck to the topic, didn't speak out of turn, and didn't talk too long :o) I definitely don't want to be "that person"!

My little "A-Team" girl is in the hospital tonight. Thankfully, she has been able to remain close to home this admission. Praying this is a short stay and she will be back at home with her family soon. There are also several other "bloggers" who have requested prayers today/tonight, so I'm keeping them in my prayers as well.

Well, it's after midnight, and even though I don't have anything planned for tomorrow, I suppose I shouldn't stay awake all night just because I can :o) Good night!

Quiet Day

I hesitate to use the word "boring" when it comes to my work, because there is ALWAYS something that could be found to do. And, a "quiet day" beats the alternative the majority of the time. I worked pretty darn hard on Wednesday, and yesterday had moments that I wouldn't want to repeat any time soon. So, a "boring day" was definitely appreciated! However, you can really only check your email so many times, especially when you don't really want to start responding because that is when you would get called to work.

Probably the coolest part of the day was some special visitors I got! I was sitting at the computer checking my facebook (I know, the computers are ONLY supposed to be used for work things...blah, blah, blah) and turned around when I heard a familiar voice. My sister and brother-in-law were there to see me! They were visiting a friend of hers who just had a baby and decided to stop by my floor to see if I was working. Neither had never been to my floor, so I showed them around a little bit. I thought it was SO sweet that they took the time to come visit (I actually have tears in my eyes thinking about it). I never would have known any different, and likely wouldn't have questioned why they didn't come see me when they were already at the hospital. They truly made an effort that was completely unexpected and I appreciate it so much. (Funny thing, though, I went and introduced them to two of our very talkative and outgoing patients...both of whom decided they were shy...go figure...gotta love kids!)

I signed up for another extra shift tomorrow, but it looks like they will not need me. We actually do not have that many patients right now. So, that kind of stinks since I definitely thought I would be working and that would have made for a VERY nice pay check! I will, however, be needed if someone calls in sick or if they get a bunch of patients overnight. So, I won't be able to stay up until the wee hours of the night (not that I would be able to do that anyway!). So, quiet day, but definitely a good one!

Good night.

The Cups

Today was a relatively slow "news day", but I have a hard time skipping my journalling (even when it is random stuff, or simply a record of events, I think it still helps to write it down).

With the original title being "making memories", I think "the cups" is a little better considering the nature of the story.

I have been sharing a simple little story that I sort of alluded to on Monday with my co-workers and family. At the time, it seemed okay to write about it "in general", but since I don't have much else to write about, I think it would be nice to have it on record.

I have been caring for a little patient who has been through a heck of a time this past year. Her parents are great, and it is very hard seeing them watch their child hurting so badly. They have a wonderful sense of humor, and somehow have found ways to smile even when their hearts have to be breaking. So, I am okay doing a little extra trying to help their efforts to remain positive and give them a reason to laugh. Usually, the joke is on me in these kinds of situations, but this time, the dad and the little one helped!

Okay, this is becoming a long drawn out story and it isn't even really that good of a story (although I do want to be sure I never forget it, which is why I am spending all this time typing it when I should be in bed!).

Last Friday, one of the times I was leaving the patient's room, I asked her mom if she needed anything. She asked for a glass of ice water. Okay, I can do that (although in some instances that can be an annoying request...I'm not going to lie!). I decided that since they had been there FOREVER, I could get the mom one of our plastic mugs instead of getting a paper cup. To make it "extra fun", I wrote her name in permanent marker on it. It made her smile, especially when her husband said it was good her name was there because she has a hard time remembering it. The next day, she and I were talking about "the cup". I told her that if her husband was brave and asked me for one, I would get him one. I swear, it took him ALL DAY LONG to ask me (apparently, he tried doing this whole "mime" routine that I didn't get and she told him he had to actually ASK me!). Instead of just his name, he wanted me to write the nickname his daughter calls him. When I was done, he said "aren't you going to put a heart or star or something on there?!" Picky, picky! I'm not at ALL artistic, although I AM able to write letters on a cup! So, he settled for a smiley face.

The little girl isn't drinking much, so I gave her a paper cup with her name on it instead of a big mug. Yesterday, I stopped by their room for a visit and noticed that cup was still there (nearly a week later!). I guess one night, the nurse brought her a cup of water WITHOUT her name on it, and she threw quite a fit! So, all week long, the parents dumped water from other nurses into the cup with her name on it. Today, I brought a plastic cup I had at home and now she has a little cup with her name on it (since I'm thinking that even water from that week old cup would not taste that great!).

Who knew that something as simple as your name on a plastic cup could make such a difference. While I am hoping and praying that the "prognosis" is wrong and this girl is meant to live a long life, if God has other plans, then at least I will always the story about "the cups". And, because of this, I am aware of the impact that a simple gesture can make...which also means that tiny negative gestures can affect people just as much. I don't always remember that part.

Well, it's late, and I work again tomorrow, so I'd better "hit the hay". Good night.

Isn't it PRETTY?!

So, the project "I" have been working on has been revealed. I couldn't be happier about how it turned out (except for the fact that I just don't take great pictures of myself...nothing you can do about that, though!). Nikki at Blogs for a Cause is FABULOUS to work with! I have no clue how to do this type of thing, and am very indecisive (but, luckily for her also not very picky!). As it was, she narrowed down my background ideas to five options and it STILL took me a long time to decide!

The picture of the baby from yesterday was AFTER I woke him up trying to get a "hands" picture (yep, those are his hands and mine!) My friend ended up being able to calm him down relatively quickly to snap a few pictures. Nikki took what I gave her and turned it into something BEAUTIFUL (I'll have to focus on that instead of the other picture of me when I log onto my blog!). She also was able to remove the evidence of my softball injury from the photo...I'm amazed that that is possible!

I guess maybe this will be my "journal" for today...my last day of vacation =o( Okay, so MAYBE I am ready to go back to work! I had a meeting this morning, but it was hardly productive since not many people showed up. It is pretty frustruating to spend that much time preparing to lead a meeting and then not being able to accomplish anything. I had my second home study, and I guess that pretty much means I am VERY close to being a licensed foster parent. That makes me nervous, but also excited to see what will happen. I will now get invited to foster parent events and activities, so that will be fun (I love hanging out with kids and talking to parents, so that will be PERFECT!). On Tuesday, they are having a picnic in the park, and there is a zoo date planned for September. Sounds like a great time to me!

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm feeling like a nap, but wonder what that would do to my trying to go to bed early/getting up early schedule, so will see if I can keep myself awake. My lawn could stand to be mowed, considering it has been over a week and I work the next two days, but I don't exactly feel like doing that!

Enjoy the new look...I know I do :o)

Gratitude

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." ~Melody Beattie

As much as I would like to say I always do kind things because it is the "right" thing to do, I have to admit that I appreciate a genuine "thank you" as much as the next person!

Because I know how much it means to be thanked, even for doing things that ARE just the "right thing" to do, I tend to hand out thank yous freely. Even though I can be quite crabby at times (just being honest, sometimes "at times" occurs more frequently!), I do try and thank people at work who help make my job easier, and those who do the little things that make the hospital work more efficiently (the person who delivers the medications, the one who picks up specimens and brings them lab, the housekeeper who does more things than I can count...there are SO many people working together for the common goal of taking care of patients and their families!). I enjoy showing gratitude to people who must often feel like they are in a "thankless job". Being in a job that can feel like that sometimes, I know first-hand how much a little thanks can make a HUGE difference in how the rest of the day goes.

My parents taught me early about writing "thank you notes". I learned that people should not continue to give you things if you do not thank them (luckily not from "first hand experience"...I have always liked writing notes!). In fact, today I mailed three thank-you notes...one to the couple who got me tickets to the swimming events, one to the couple who stored my frozen food so I didn't have to throw it away, and one to my parents for ALL of their help cleaning up after the storm. Now, did any of those people EXPECT to receive a "thank you note" from me? Probably not, but I definitely think they will be less likely to hesitate the next time I need help with something because they know I appreciate their efforts!

Whenever I send sympathy cards, one of the things I usually write is thank you to the person for sharing their loved one with me. To me, it is very important for them to know that I appreciate all that the person's life was, no matter how short or long it was.

I enjoy doing the unexpected...sending random "thinking about you" cards, sometimes saying really corny things to people because something nice and cheesy pops into my head. One of the first times I remember doing this was when I was in high school at a Christian leadership camp. I really liked one of the leaders. I think she reminded me of an older friend I had, but I thought she was pretty. Now, this person probably was probably "average looking" to most people, but in my eyes she was beautiful. So, with tears in my eyes because I felt like such a nerd, and also because it was coming from the heart, I said something like "I think you are SO pretty". It really took her by surprise, and she probably was thinking something like "no WAY, not ME!" However, now that I am probably even older than she was at the time, I'm thinking those words stuck with her for a while, and made her look at herself a little differently. I know how much of a difference little things like that can mean to people. A little bit of kindness can go a long way...so can a little bit of gratitude. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~Mother Teresa

It still makes me sad that I had to post this journal entry. I had sad days before this, have had sad days since then, and am sure there are more to come. However, I still think about those days, and about the wife left without a husband, the children without a father, the grandchild without a grandfather. But then, what a blessing to have been a teeny tiny part of each others' lives. My hospital has a program rightly called a "Thank You Program". Through the Intranet, or a written form, anyone can send a "thank you" to any employee at the hospital. The message is sent to the employee's manager, and a little medal is given to the employee. Each medal can be redeemed for $5 for various gifts or services. It is a program that not many people outside of employees seem familiar with, and some units/individuals use it more frequently than others. Today, I received a "thank you". It reads "Thank you so much for being exceptionally kind when (Her Husband) was hospitalized. Even though you were 'floated' to an adult unit when your comfort zone was more with Pediatrics, you were so delightful and made us laugh and feel relaxed. Thank you for just 'being you'!" I opened it before my shift started, so I had to hold back the tears, but it was tough. I didn't expect that, and it wasn't really necessary. I was just doing the best job I knew how to do (and, probably using laughter and silliness to help me be less nervous about the situation I was in).

So, just in case I forgot to thank someone today, I will say "thank you" now. Tomorrow is another day...let me not forget to show my gratitude to all who come into my path.

Good night.

Let there be lights

and televisions, and radios, and computers, and hair dryers, and flat irons...I am SO excited to report that as of around 11:00 this morning I have electricity once again. That means I was without power for a little over 90 hours! I'm not REALLY complaining though because it could have been a LOT worse, and last time I checked, there were still over 8,000 homes without electricity. Today was VERY warm compared to the last few days, so it would have been pretty miserable sleeping tonight if the air conditioner hadn't been working.

I took quite a few photos on Friday and Saturday, but didn't take many of the progress that has taken place. It will take a long time for all the clean-up to be finished. One home I pass on the way to work had at LEAST three VERY large trees fall onto it. The coolest thing was how quickly neighbors got to work helping each other. An elderly woman on my mom and dad's block had a large tree fall across the street into another person's yard. The tree was chopped down and debris placed into piles before dark on Friday night. (Considering the storm hit a little before 5:00, that is pretty amazing!) My parents' neighborhood was one of the hardest hit, but there were people on every block helping each other and that continued throughout the weekend. I made a slide show of some of my pictures so it makes a little more sense. I walked around mom and dad's neighborhood Friday night and just wanted to cry. So much destruction...it looked like a war zone. But in the midst of pain and sorrow, there were people there to help pick up the pieces. My parents helped me SO much...I don't think I will have grounds to complain about them for a VERY long time! :o) We spent a lot of quality time together between cleaning up, unloading my refrigerator, feeding me, giving me rides...SO great!

One good thing about no electricity is a couple nights I went to bed really early. How cool if I went to bed when it got dark every night! Last night I was up pretty late, but didn't have to work today. I took the baby's sisters to the Zoo this morning, then napped most of the afternoon. I went with my mom to see the Olympic trials which was SO cool. (I had to skip my softball games which was sad, but this was a "once in a lifetime opportunity" that I didn't want to miss.)

Back to work tomorrow...I'm not sure if I want them to give me an option to have the day off or not. I think I would take it...my house REALLY needs vacuuming, and I should go get my frozen food from my parents' neighbor's house! I also need to finish off my jewelry party order.

I suppose I should go to bed. Good night!

Off line

I will write more later, but just in case any of "my readers" (ha ha all two or three of you!) are wondering where I have been, I decided I should leave a little note. Some crazy weather came through here on Friday and it has knocked out electricity and cable to my house. I have taken quite a few pictures and will give more details when I am back "online". Luckily, my home, and the homes of my family members were not damaged, but there are many people in the area whose homes have been destroyed or very severely damaged. There are many people without power more than 48 hours after the storm. Thankfully, the temperature has been very tolerable, so I haven't had to miss my a/c as much as other technologies like my hair dryer, refrigerator, computer...all SORTS of things you hardly think about, but definitely miss when they are gone.

I have some work to do at home...and should try and get there before it gets too dark! Good night.

Kind Words

As I have written about in previous posts, I have been taking on more leadership roles at the hospital. I am on a large hospital-wide committee, and am the chairperson for my unit council. I also sit on the leadership team with the director, managers, and other unit leaders. In high school and college, I served in roles like "secretary" and "treasurer", but don't recall ever being the "president". This takes myself out of my comfort zone, so have often shied away from those type of responsibilities. Yesterday, I went to my "hospital committee" and actually was an active participant in the discussion. I mentioned that my director has gone out of her way to help me feel comfortable in my new role. The Chief Nursing Officer was present at the meeting, and told me that this woman is an EXCELLENT leader and takes time to do those kinds of things all the time. She wanted to make sure I passed my thoughts on to her. So, I sent an email to her last night (which is how we do most of our communication). What followed from there was a wonderful email communication of kind words and compliments. Like the quote at the top of my blog says "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia

Here is the "gist" of our email "conversation":
Me: I want to let you know that your name came up during the ____Meeting today... I gave an example of how often you have taken the time to send an email telling me I am doing a good job as Chair and to keep up the good work. This really has meant a lot to me, especially since this is my first time in a leadership role like this since I was in high school! I'm not extremely confident and your kind words have often come when I needed some positive reinforcement. (The CNO) wanted to make sure I have told you how much I appreciate you taking the time to do those little things that make a big difference (she too is impressed by your efforts to connect with staff in ways like this). I try to at least reply with a "thank you", but just in case I have forgotten a time or two, here is a BIG thank you (and not JUST because the CNO told me to!).

Thank you for ALL you do. Your efforts do not go unnoticed, even if you don't always get the thanks you deserve.

Her: WOW! What a wonderful way to start my day! Your words of affirmation are MUCH appreciated, and I thank you for taking the time to share them with me! I think I will save this and read it again when I have a day when I wonder if I am making a difference! Thanks again for your kind and encouraging words.

Me: I am glad that I helped you start your day off well! You do an amazing job of connecting with all the staff and deserve to hear how great you are every once in a while (hopefully you hear it MUCH more often than that!). You are a wonderful role model for a leader.

Her: Thank you again! You have a wonderful future ahead of you as a leader, whether you choose a leadership role that is formal or informal. leadership role!

What a difference we made to each other today, just by "saying" what was in our hearts. I always try to say nice things to people whenever I think them, and enjoy paying people compliments (even if it sounds REALLY corny coming out!). I know first-hand how much of a difference those little things can make! Today's "email conversation" with the director was a GREAT way to recover from the criticism I received on Monday. While it hurts that I don't always feel like I "belong" on my floor, compliments from people who "really matter" means a great deal.

Too bad I can't say the REST of my day was "fabulous". It was pretty hectic and I still get kind of anxious when my patients are not doing that well. It is pretty exhausting to feel powerless when my "job" is to make the kids feel better. Even though it isn't "my" kid, my heart just aches when it seems I am failing them because nothing I do is helping (gosh, I wonder what their moms feel like!). There were a lot of things going on, and I guess all I can do is my best...and hope the next nurse can take over where I left off (24 hour job, right?!).

Well, this is way longer, but also WAY less enlightening that I originally planned. In a nutshell, today had some special moments, but also a couple I'd like to forget (but probably won't be able to since I tend to dwell on mistakes and coulda/woulda/shouldas). It's late and I need to get a good night's sleep. Party at my house tomorrow night...cleaning party at my house tomorrow during the day! Good night.

My New Wheels

The stroller I bought online last week arrived today! I'm excited to have my own stroller, and yes, it is COW print! There was some "assembly required", but I enjoy putting things together so it was fun. I guess some particular infant car seats can snap right on the front of it. I'm thinking I will purchase a port-a-crib before a car seat, but I've definitely been doing some investigating. I wasn't sure what to expect with this stroller since it was on sale, and wasn't originally very expensive. It seems pretty durable, but I guess having a kid in it will be the true test of that!

Even though my patients were picked for me again this morning, I had a VERY good day with them! I didn't leave my house until 6:45 because I could NOT get up after having such a hard time sleeping last night (plus, I knew there were a couple people working today who always get there early and are pretty vocal about their choice of patients, so I decided to stay in bed longer and get ready a little slower!). We were a bit over-staffed today which probably is what made the day seem to go so nicely. We also had a LOT of kids leave, and only one or two come in. A nurse from one of the home health companies bought us all sandwiches, and quite a few of us had brought in stuff for a "pot luck", so we had quite a feast in celebration of Nurses' Week! I got off on time and went to visit my friend in the PICU before I left (we are SUCH nerds...we talked on the phone for 10 minutes while I was on my floor in the conference room and she was in her son's room the floor below before we decided we could just meet outside the PICU and actually SEE each other while we talked!). She posted pictures of her holding the baby on her Care Page. I picked one of them to post here. He was pretty busy with tests and therapy (PT/OT) today so I don't think she was able to hold him today. Yesterday was a special early Mother's Day gift for her! She is planning to come to church with me again tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that.

Well, I suppose I should get ready for bed since I need to force myself to get up at a decent time and be productive tomorrow (I work again on Sunday and Monday). So, Good night!

Happy Mom!

(Sleeping Baby!)