Something Beautiful

I "borrowed" this title from the song that is now on repeat whenever "M" is using my computer. It used to be that she sang Taylor Swift's "Crazier" a dozen plus times a day and at some point she changed to Needtobreathe's "Something Beautiful". I think I like this a lot better ;) Not that I don't like Taylor Swift, but it did get old after a while! Maybe this song will too, but it hasn't yet :)

After my chilling on the couch during their visit the other day, things got busy again. However, I felt much more able to tackle this week after that respite! It proved to be a tough one, so I'm very thankful I did get that break.

On Tuesday, I had a meeting at the high school where "M" goes to school. It is the same private school I attended. Their first foster parents arranged for her to attend there the spring semester. I was told by "M" that SHE got a scholarship and reminded her earlier in the summer that she did owe the previous foster parents something for giving her the opportunity. I didn't know how it all was working, but after my meeting on Tuesday, it really is "something beautiful". As much as "M" would like to believe she got a full scholarship, and the foster parents "inferred" to the State that she did as well, she did not. Yes, she got financial assistance, but the former foster parents were, and ARE CONTINUING TO, cover what the scholarship and work study does not...wow! I was blown away by their generosity and commitment to making sure she is given this opportunity. The foster mom asked for it to "remain between us", but of course I told my parents and my sister because I had a done a little bit of "whining" about the fact that they received a check from the State for June even though I had the girls almost the entire month (and still have only been given money for nine days that has all gone to paying my sister for watching them). I also thought it was important for M to know how much this couple cares about her. So, without going into detail, I told her that they were helping me cover the expenses that her scholarship didn't cover (like books, etc.) She got really defensive and didn't really talk to me the rest of the day. I do not regret saying something to her, though, because she carries a great deal of resentment/negativity toward them and she needed to know this.

After weeks of being over-staffed with little-to-nearly-no patients, my floor, and the PICU, are completely full and we have found ourselves under-staffed. Our acuity is high, too, so I ran my butt off the past two days and work again tomorrow and part of Sunday! My body had forgotten how to work that hard and my back and legs were not that happy with me today! However, I'm SO happy that next week I'll get a full pay check (and maybe a little extra!) Having a full census means LOTS of sick kids, though, and that is the sad part. My A girl is super sick and I'm super sad for her family. I haven't had a chance to go see her as often as I would like now that I have kids to take care of, but they do have my prayers and those are appreciated too.

Yesterday was the girls' mom's birthday. She remains 700+ miles away and they haven't seen her for nearly two weeks. I let them call her a couple of times this week and really hyped up her birthday. I made a little picture collage for them to give her and said we would make cupcakes. I got them, especially the little one, all excited to call and sing happy birthday to her last night when we got home. How disappointing it was to find out that the phone number they had used earlier in the week did not work. The little one got over it fairly quickly, but the older one hasn't talked to me nearly as much as she usually does. She looked pretty upset to me, but refused to admit there was anything wrong (although she DID tell me that only "maybe" would she tell me if she wasn't "ok").

In my "glass-half-full" mind, I'm trying to understand how torn the mom must be to be with her family states away and here with her kids. However, she IS planning to get them back and I would think that you wouldn't want to give the judge any reason to say you aren't ready. I have been preparing myself to let them go back to her at the end of August, but suppose I also need to prepare myself for the fact that that just might not happen. I'm fortunate that for my first placement it doesn't seem like they would be going back to a horrible place because I'm sure that isn't the case in many (hopefully not most!) situations. Of course, she won't win mom of the year this year, but she does have some nice girls.

The other night, I was thinking about all the little things that "L" and I do that are just "ours". "M" isn't around and we have our own routines, things that only we know that we do and say. It is super special for me to have that with her (little things like brushing our teeth together, how I tell her "one more song and then you need to let the water out", what she means when she talks about "doing this/that like Lady Gaga", and asks to "be a ballerina") and I'm not taking it for granted. However, a wave of emotion swept over me that her mom really is missing out on all of this. At the end of each day, I ask her to tell me about the fun that she had that day. She has gotten quite wordy and likes to drag it out for a long time so she doesn't have to go to sleep, but she says the sweetest things. She says she loves my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother-in-law, my nephew, me, her sister...and now that I type this, I realize she doesn't talk about her brothers and her mom only comes up every once in a while...that is sad!

So, lots of ups and downs, happys and sads, in the life of a pediatric nurse AND the life of a foster mom...I'm blessed enough to be both.

Prayers for ALL of "my" kids appreciated :)

What's Been Going On

I actually worked all of my shifts on my floor last week. Two of my last three pay checks have been horrible and I'm thankful that my mortgage company remembered me making a payment that I don't remember because I'm not sure I could have managed paying in July. There actually are now extra shifts posted and I received a call today to see if I could come in to help. It is much harder to do that now that I need to arrange day care, but I found someone to split an extra shift for me on Sunday to where I'll be at work when the girls are sleeping or at their visit.

The girls are gone visiting their brothers right now. This is the first time that I haven't scheduled an appointment or have a million errands to run while they are gone. Sure, there are things I could/should do, but I'm just going to sit here in the peace and quiet (well, watching TV and on the computer!) and enjoy it. Things have been crazy and stressful and I have REALLY missed blogging for many reasons. Of course, it probably is good that I've "cut back" but this has become such a great outlet for me that I need to make time to get online every once in a while for my own sanity :)

I know that being a mom adds extra craziness to your life, but I don't think it typically involves THIS many phone calls! Seriously, I'm on the phone so much that the little one referred to me by my first AND last name the other day! Whether it's the caseworker, the person from DHHS, or people from the visitation agency, I am constantly making phone calls. Unfortunately, it seems that I'm the one with the communication skills and the visitation people are the worst with this. Last week, the girls' mom left the state to visit sick family members. The caseworker and people from the state knew, but no one decided to tell us or the visitation workers so the girls went and turned around and came right back (there went my "peace" that night!) Yesterday, my mom sat with them for an hour and a half waiting for the worker to pick them up (the fourth different worker in that many visits, mind you). No one came and my mom was upset to tears for them (and also because it completely messed up the schedules of her, my dad, and my sister). Apparently the visit was canceled and they "forgot" to call us...seriously, this is 2010 and almost EVERYONE has a cell phone!

The caseworker came today. She didn't want to "predict" about what is going to happen at court next month, but maybe I was being too "glass full" in thinking that the girls will be back with their mom shortly after that. We are now working on my work schedule for October and it is SO weird to be doing that when I have no clue if I will have the girls and if I do, what their visitation schedule will look like!

As much as the girls want to go home, they are definitely having fun here. My dad is so crazy and the rest of my family is super fun too (apparently even my brother-in-law got into the goofiness yesterday while I was at work!) Just a couple of examples for effect--my dad made corn on the cob with dinner while I was at work. Apparently they ate it all and my dad decided he could just make corn from a can for me and my sister said they could just put the holders in the bowl for me...nice! Later, my dad was being extra silly getting the little one all wound up and went a little too far so my mom told him to go to time out. So, he got a chair, brought it to the living room, sat in it, and pouted. She is still talking about my dad getting into trouble!

The older one laughs and smiles ALL the time...and also talks to me (and to everyone in my family) ALL the time. She is really comfortable with us and we are also giving her the extra TLC that she needs. She is a joy and SO very helpful! I thought we were going to have an "issue" on Saturday night since she wanted to stay out later than I would allow (yes, I actually said "no"!) However, she decided not to give me any attitude and never really questioned my decision...seriously, what 15-year-old girl does that?! I'm so blessed! (I DID prepare myself for how I was going to handle "attitude"...ha!)

When I put the little one to bed, I started asking her to tell me about all the fun stuff she did during the day. Of course, she now talks and talks and talks so she doesn't have to go to sleep, but I still think it was a good idea. Last night, she told me about playing blocks with my nephew, blowing bubbles with my family, the different things she ate, and about my dad getting into trouble. As she went over her list, she was grinning from ear to ear so when I told her to close her eyes she had a smile on her face. Even though it does make for a drawn-out bedtime, I think it is important to have her go to bed happy.

My family is doing amazing with these girls. I had no idea what my mom would be like and she is doing everything she possibly can to help. My sister isn't just "watching" them on the days I'm at work, she is really taking care of them and doing a great job. (My sister has really grown and changed a lot...when my grandpa was rushed to the hospital the other week, she had her husband come home from work to take care of the baby and she spent over 3 hours with my grandparents...amazing!) Of course, it helps that the girls are really sweet and don't have behavior issues, but still, it is so wonderful.

Well, that should be a long enough post. I probably should eat dinner before the girls come back (or make something for ALL of us to have for dinner!)

Hopefully I'll be back for more blogging later this week :)
Good night.

Non-Stop

Being a mom is tons of fun, but things really are non-stop. I know that I have more "alone time" than most moms, but it is definitely a huge change for me (and, power to the stay-at-home moms...I'm definitely not cut out for that!) Even the older one who appears to be quiet and shy has been talking to me non-stop (or looking at me to play Skip-Bo with her) so my blog time and facebook time and email time has REALLY been cut down. Even now, as I try and type she is telling me all sorts of stories. I know I need to listen, it is important to pay attention to her because that's what moms do, BUT the little one talks non-stop the whole time she is awake (thank goodness she takes three-hour naps...ha!) I love "my" girls and definitely appreciate the fact that they CAN talk to me and express their needs (and wants!) without crying (or whining) and they can feed themselves, don't wear diapers and sleep through the night! So, I guess this is just a post to say that I'm alive, doing fine, but the non-stop chatter and hanging out with the girls leaves me very little time to blog. It does kind of stink a bit because this is where I get all my craziness out and sort through my "issues". Their mom went out of town so their visits this week were canceled...visits are pretty much the only time I'm here by myself.

To be clear, this is not a whining post...the little one is adorable and actually is really good for her age (as in, USUALLY her ears listen which is awesome!) and the older one is a HUGE help--she does pretty much all of the dishes and cleaning and tonight even made us chocolate covered strawberries and cherries :)

Well, the little one apparently is in her bed but not asleep, so I ought to have a little chat with her. The older one keeps telling me stories and I'm only half-way paying attention, so should say good-night to my blog...I miss you :)

Good night.

Kids Kids Kids

I only have a moment to "blog" before my nearly nightly game of "Skip-Bo". This weekend was the annual transplant reunion. I didn't take very many pictures, but got some with a couple of my "faves". If you've been reading this blog for a while, you remember me talking about "the baby" who is now the big boy in the middle picture on the right. He was THE sickest baby and to see him running around and playing is just amazing!

I brought the girls to church on Saturday and we all wore dresses which was fun :) The little one wanted her picture taken and I got some cute ones, and ones of her with her sister and some fun ones with me. But, there was only one (or maybe two) that she wasn't looking at the camera (this one may even be "pushing it"). The ones of the two girls are really nice, but I won't be able to post those ones. My family took a day trip to celebrate my mom's dad's 85th birthday and took a train ride. My nephew loved it, even though it was really hot!

People (friends, family, co-workers...) have been asking how things are going with the girls. So, I go on and on about "my" girls like a proud mama and it is great (I feel kind of bad sometimes about going on and on, but that's what moms do, right?!) I really do love these girls and I am so blessed that they are my first experience being a foster mom. "Everyone" seems to think that my approach with the older one is very appropriate and things are much better because of it. She cracks me up because she is really quiet around other people, but at home she laughs and smiles and makes fun of me ALL the time! Skip-Bo is our "thing" and so is teasing each other (I always complain when I have to do the dishes...ha!)

Well, I actually got to work today (yay!!) so am pretty tired (I actually signed up for an extra shift which is going to be crazy, but a blessing too!)

Good night.

Still Tough

I was driving to meet with my spiritual director and had this whole blog post in my head. However, I cannot seem to remember what I wanted to write. My meeting with her came at the perfect time because I'm still struggling even though I saw that rainbow and am trusting Him and His plan...and I took a nap today :)

While I was at the funeral of my choir director's husband, my sister left me a message. My grandpa had been taken to the hospital by ambulance and had gotten an emergency pacemaker. He had gotten better at my hospital and left last week for rehab. This morning, he went to his doctor and things didn't look that great. Unfortunately, he was brought to the nearest hospital and not the one where I work. My sister went to be with my grandma and ended up spending three+ hours there with her helping. I'm really proud of her and that isn't something I would have ever expected her to do. She called her husband to come watch her nephew and she went...wow! Apparently, my sister was less-than-impressed with the people and care there which is unfortunate. So, hopefully he won't be there long. I was only able to visit for a short time this afternoon since the girls were at a visit and the older one didn't have a key to get in if they beat me home. He didn't really look very well to me and had been hallucinating since the surgery, and speaking "randomly". Likely just effects from the anesthesia, but still not very much fun. My grandma seems to be holding up well.

I signed up to work a shift on the adult transplant unit, so hopefully I will get to work at least three shifts next week.

Tomorrow is our annual transplant reunion. I always love seeing our transplant patients who are out there living life rather than just seeing the ones in the hospital who are sick. Sunday, we are taking a family day trip to celebrate my other grandpa's 85th birthday. The girls can't come with us, but it will be a fun time with the rest of my extended family.

I'm feeling a bit "off" and am hoping this all wears off soon because it isn't much fun. Thankfully, the little one was back to being her sweet little self today with good hearing. :)

I'd better head to bed.
Good night.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

I needed this tonight.
Things are looking up.
I put my trust in Him.
Thanks for your prayers.

Struggling

I haven't had time to blog these days, but since I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face, I figured I should make time (before the little one gets up and wonders why I'm crying).

I'm super sad for Sara who lost her dad suddenly last Friday and had to watch his funeral from her living room since she can't leave the house. (Information here on how you can make a card that will be sent with other cards.) She wrote a tribute to her dad in this post. I've never met Sara, but as one of her friends wrote about her, "Sara just reminds me of Jesus." It's true, her faith, her courage, her inspiration...she is amazing and I'm just really sad for her.

The husband of my choir director passed away the night before last. Services are tomorrow night and Friday, but I'm not sure I will be able to go. I'm going to try, but things really are more complicated these days. I've known this woman for SO long and showing support by attending services is something that I've "always" done.

My "A-team" girl is super sick and her mom is really struggling. I'm really sad for their family, especially when it sounds like the doctors aren't seeming very positive she will make it through this and get back home to her family. Of course, God is in control of that, but it is going to be a rough road.

I am technically "on-call" for work, but it sounds like once again I will not be working. I was "on-call" for a few hours on Monday, but was thankfully called into work. I was called off work a week ago, so this is the second time this pay period. If my math serves me right, I will be missing at LEAST 30% of my usual pay check. Considering the fact that a "normal" pay check barely covers my house payment, this is not good. There is an opportunity to go work on adult floors in order to get hours. I don't really want to do this, but after much thought and prayer, I decided that I ought to "suck it up" for a little while...unfortunately, I decided a little too late and was unable to take that opportunity today. I also caught wind of something that was happening where other nurses were getting paid extra to work when we weren't getting hours...that's when I lost it this morning and could no longer hold in my tears. I'm really struggling with trusting His plan in all of this, but suppose I am also thankful that I'm not used to living the life of luxury (although taking my girls to a movie or something would be fun).

I'm still waiting on getting money from the State for June. It isn't all about the money and my girls are fabulous, but that money WILL be a blessing (plus I need to pay my sister for watching them on the few days that I HAVE worked!) I had an issue with the other foster mom who was supposed to watch my girls on Sunday while we go celebrate my grandpa's birthday. She ended up asking someone else to do it, so I was stressed out about using one of my very few respite days OR having to pay this person. Thankfully, when I spoke to her yesterday, she said it would be okay and we didn't need to do either of those things. However, it still doesn't quite sit right with me that the other foster parents will get paid for the whole month of June as if they had the girls when they really didn't, but it is what it is and I shouldn't worry about it.

The conversation with that other foster mom yesterday was SO weird. She said that both she and the previous foster mom had not had good experiences with my teenager. She said that "M" was obnoxious and snotty and refused to help around the house. Really?! This girl who has been doing dishes and laundry and vacuuming since the day she stepped foot in my house?! This super sweet girl with the big smile who now giggles quite often and NEVER stops singing?! This girl who teases me and talked NON-STOP about her camp experience for two days?! I'm not here to judge and I KNOW I'm not perfect, but it makes me wonder what she felt like in those houses to make her act like that. Yesterday I "mentioned" that I needed to clean the bathroom and when I thought she was showering, she was actually cleaning the bathroom. Seriously, I love that girl. For some reason I didn't have much patience for her little sister yesterday, but hopefully today is better for both of us :)

So, I'm struggling, but the tears have stopped for now. I'm praying that things at work will get better soon and that I can continue to trust Him and His plans for me.

On a "really cool" note, I received an amazing message in my fb inbox. Back when I was in high school, my family did foster care for two sisters who were 5 and 3. We ended up kind of being a "respite" family. My dad wanted to adopt the 5-year-old, but the 3-year-old had severe fetal alcohol syndrome and was non-verbal and we didn't feel equipped to handle that. The 5-year-old had some behavior issues from the abuse/trauma she had endured and at the time they were a "pair" so it ended up not working out. They ended up splitting them up and the older one was adopted by a single mom. She is now 19 and the mom of a baby and my friend on fb. Over the weekend, she sent me a message about "the good old days" and missing having spaghetti at my grandma's house. That message really took me by surprise because she was only FIVE and really only with us for about three months. When I responded that I couldn't believe she remembered, she said of COURSE she remembered. I guess that really shows how much of a difference you can make in a child's life in a very short time, even if it is "nothing".

Well, the little one is up and I think it's time to stop crying and have breakfast.

Good-byes

Yesterday morning, I sent "M" off to camp. After the tears and packing delay the previous night, I was wondering how the morning would go. I was thankful to have sent out a "prayer request" on twitter because I didn't witness any tears. We stayed until the bus left, then "L" and I had a fun day with a picnic in the park before nap and then pizza and the park for dinner after her visit with her mom was canceled. There were a few tears at bedtime, but we stayed at my mom and dad's, so I think that helped take her mind off missing her sister. I, however, did NOT sleep well at my mom and dad's for some reason and woke up every hour. My sister said that "L" didn't talk about "M" today and she went to bed without any problem and I hope that "M" is doing just as well (or better!) than her sister :)

This is a picture from my phone I took when we went Downtown last week.

My mom was ironing this dress when I got there last night. She was shocked that I said it was SO cute and that this style seems to have come back. (Okay, I could totally be wrong, but I think it's really cute!) My mom thought that one of her sisters had worn it and I HAD to bring it home with me. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous to put "L" in it since I'd probably be sad if something spilled on it, but maybe I just need to get over that ;)

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Work is still super slow and I didn't get my full 12-hours in again today. In the last six times I was scheduled to work, I was forced to stay home one of them and forced to leave early three of them. So, only two full shifts out of six which is really stinky considering that six shifts is two weeks for me :( We have so few patients right now that I won't be surprised to get forced to stay home again this week, maybe even on Monday!

One of my favorite patients/moms is back here in the hospital (my "A-team girl" for those of you who have been reading long). They came back late last week and she is pretty sick. I was able to drop off a few things for them to have when they got here, but didn't get to visit until today after I got off. They both had to quickly say good-bye to the rest of their family, their home, their daily routines, etc. They have no idea how long they will be here and that is really sad. Her mom and I had a nice visit and I'm hoping she will make it to my floor soon (and then on her way back home :) ) Prayers for their whole family appreciated.

I have this quote on the side of my blog I found in the PALS Handbook--"We know that children are a rejuvenating wellspring of love and wonder, and caring for them nurtures us as well as them. We know that our work results in more laughter, more discovery, more sleepovers, more birthdays, more cupcakes, more dances, more graduations and eventually more of us." ~Dr. Robert Hickey--and that is what I focus on during these tough times when kids who were doing so well come in SO sick. I love being able to make a difference in childrens' lives on a regular basis, and can often get paid to do that ;)
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Since it was slow at work and we can't get on facebook, I decided to see if I could catch up on some blog reading. I saw in a "tweet" that Sara/Gitz had posted something yesterday. She does Flashback Fridays sometimes, so I was curious as to what she had written. Now, I know I've mentioned Sara here previously. She is an amazing woman who has been able to find joy in the little things even when she can't so much as open a window, let alone leave her home. Only 100% healthy people can visit her and she lives in constant pain. And yet she writes some of the most beautiful posts and I am always left encouraged (and often guilty that I don't always treasure the little moments). It was so hard to keep the tears inside when I scrolled down to this post and read these words --"It’s me, Susie – Sara’s favorite (actually only) – guest blogger. I’m writing this guest post for her today with the heaviest of hearts. Sara received word today that her dad passed away suddenly of an apparent heart attack. He was out on a boat with Sara’s mom and her aunts and uncles on the most gorgeous of summer days. He was doing one of the things he loved most and had just winked at his wife. A few moments later, he mentioned that he didn’t feel well. He then collapsed and was unable to be revived by family or paramedics. It is still so hard to believe – he was the picture of health and he and Sara’s mom had just visited on the 4^th of July. Please keep Sara in your thoughts and prayers..."

Stunned, speechless, saddened...and probably why you shouldn't read blog posts while at work ;)
I can't begin to imagine losing a parent suddenly like that and pray I never have to experience it. To make matters worse, my heart is just broken as to how she is going to be able to say good-bye to him and be with her family when she can't leave her house? I've definitely been praying for her health and that something can be figured out to make it so she can do what she needs to do to participate in the services or whatever would help her at this time.
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Well, this was kind of a downer post, but at least I started with a cute picture ;) On a lighter note, I said good-bye to my parents because they are going on vacation tomorrow until Saturday and get to see the Grand Canyon :)

I'd better go to sleep so I can get the little one ready for her visit in the morning (usually her sister does that...ha!)

Good-night.

Tears Are Ok

Yesterday I was forced off work again due to low census/being over-staffed. I was forced to stay home three times in June and had to leave early last Friday and on Monday. My last pay check was 12 hours short which is 1/6 of my regular scheduled shifts. The day before yesterday, I knew that I was likely to be forced off yet again. The girls and I ran here there and everywhere as we seem to do (which is fine, but Tuesday seemed to be extra busy!) I had an appointment to see my counselor at 5 and thought the girls would be picked up before 4:30 for their visit (by 4 actually was what I was thinking). So, I offered to bring the older girl's ("M") friend home after they had spent a few hours down town on my way to my appointment (even though it wasn't "on my way") Well, 4:35 rolled around and "M" just told me to go.

I was late to my appointment and was crying by the time I got there (oh, we had spent a great deal of time trying to put together the toddler bed for the little one...it was dropped off to me in a box...nice...good thing I'm "handy", but it was still frustrating to put together!) Good timing for a meeting with the counselor, I guess! Tuesday was extra hot and my car just would NOT cool off. So, I knew that I wouldn't get paid for the next day AND my a/c appeared to be broken...seriously?! Things are going SO well in my life besides financially, but I'm still trusting that things will work out. I have put in a request for the State to pay at least a portion of what I am giving my sister to watch the girls while I work. I am only planning to pay her about $50 a day plus incidentals, but that still takes a good chunk out of what the State will give me. That maybe would be more "ok" if I was actually getting paid to work full-time, but right now I am not.

Anyway, there are going to be forums and I there have been emails from the director, so at least people are looking into this work issue, but it is still pretty stressful!

Tomorrow morning at 7AM, I am dropping off "M" for a weekend at camp. She will return to me at 6PM on Sunday. I've been trying to figure out how she is feeling about this and she isn't giving me a whole ton of feedback (besides she isn't looking forward to bugs!) I know that she is super shy, but this sounds like it will be a good "fit". I told her that when she returns, I want to know the names of two people and three things she learned about them during a conversation (I thought that talking to two people was a manageable goal...ha!) She also is not looking forward to leaving her sister. So, for a few minutes this evening, I had two crying girls and am sure there will be more tears in the morning (any spare prayers are appreciated!) I assured "M" that tears are okay and "L" too, telling her that things will be okay. I had "L" help me make a little 5x7 photo collage with three pictures and made copies for both of them to have. "M" won't tell me that she is looking forward to this weekend, but I really think it will be a good experience for her (I was told it was for teen girls who are or have been in foster care).

Well, I have to be up bright and early too and today was a busy day. We went swimming AND I mowed the lawn, so I'm a little worn out from the sun AND running around :)

Good night.

Where I've Been

Hanging out with "my" girls, going to baseball games, watching fireworks...AND, , actually getting to work three shifts in a week! The girls are great and I am definitely enjoying my time with them. They are such a blessing and are making as much of a difference in my life as I am in theirs (or more!)

The little one ("L") is a ball of energy and talks non-stop. My sister started watching her last week and apparently she needs to work on her "sharing", but what better time (and way) to learn than with my sister and nephew. She takes amazing long naps and will now take a nap and go to bed without her sister helping. She eats anything you put on her plate. She loves to sing and dance and be silly. When we went on that boat she posed for picture after picture, but I could only post that couldn't identify her. (I think you can still tell how cute she is!)

The older one ("M") is shy, but definitely coming out of her shell. She now talks to my mom and my sister and has come to enjoy making fun of me (oh joy...ha!) She has become a college baseball fan and I'm encouraging her to do her summer reading (even though she has to read The House on Mango Street...I read a chapter and totally didn't understand it!) I taught her all my Skip-Bo tricks and now she beats me as much/more than I beat her. She is going to go to camp this weekend and I am SO excited for her. She is super sweet and helps out when she can, many times without being asked. She has the best smile and I wish I could post a picture here, but don't want to get into any trouble for that! I'm really going to miss her when she is gone and hope her mom appreciates how wonderful of a daughter she has.

I've been to five baseball games in less than two weeks. Baseball is the sport I grew up watching and I've been playing softball since I was little. A couple of the games were when it was SUPER hot, but I lathered up my Swedish skin with sunscreen and enjoyed them anyway. :)

Of course, it was the Fourth of July, so there has been a lot of watching of fireworks. Friday night, the girls and I drove toward where there would be some big fireworks. I knew that traffic would be horrendous, but that was part of the experience...ha! We brought a bag of chips and some water and sat in one place on the busiest street in town for about 45 minutes, but had a pretty good view of the fireworks (and then people watched until we could get moving again).

Our census is still very, very low. However, I was fortunate to get to work my three shifts last week, even though I had to leave a couple hours early one of the days. As great as it is to finally work again, it has been a bit of a shock to my system! We have been on the go every day and I'm starting to realize what being a "working mom" actually feels like (although it is definitely different than starting off with a baby AND they do go to see their mom four days a week!) I had to get off early again tonight, but that gave me time to eat dinner on the couch watching Days of Our Lives and blogging for the first time in a LONG time! I love having these girls in my house so much, but it is REALLY strange not being on twitter, facebook, blogging, reading blogs all the time! I think it is good in a lot of ways because I likely spent WAY too much time doing those things. However, it IS different and has been an adjustment!

Well, I have a few more minutes before the girls get home from their visit, so I should get changed and MAYBE put away the dishes since "M" ran the dishwasher this morning!

I've been busy, missing my blog and "my" people, but enjoying this time with my family.

Good night.

Quick Update

Things are going well in my lovely little home. The days and nights are full of laughter, singing, card games, and enjoying our time together. We went down town last night and took some pictures, some of which I should be able to post on here. However, "M" is using my net book that is MUCH faster at uploading pictures, so they will have to wait.

I went back to work today for the first time in a week, so am pretty sleepy after getting up earlier than I'm used to and being awake and moving all day (although "M" kept me busy this week cleaning my car, the garage, my junk room, the kitchen, the bathroom...ha!) Today also "officially" marked the day the girls become "my" foster kids (even though they have been with me for nearly a month already...wow, time flies and yet I can hardly remember life without them [oh yeah, I'm officially a "mom"...ha!]). They spent the day with my sister and nephew and as far as I heard, things went well ("M" found someone who would watch horror movies with her...not me!)

Prayer request for my grandparents/family. My dad's "step-dad" who is the only grandpa I've ever known (He and my grandma were married before I was born. My dad's dad died when my dad was 19.) was admitted to the ICU yesterday. His blood pressure was EXTREMELY low and he was very sick. He has a history of lung cancer and only has one lung, but has been doing very well for years. They thought he likely had pneumonia and yesterday they took over half a liter of fluid off his lung. Today, they cleaned out his lungs (bronchoscopy) and he was in good spirits when I visited. However, when I got off work, I found out that they found some spots on his lung that looked really suspicious for cancer. That is not the news we were hoping to hear and I'm not sure what "the plan" will be. I know that I am VERY fortunate to be 30 years old and all of my grandparents are living (I had a great-grandma who lived until I was a freshman in college.), however, it is really hard to imagine life without any one of them. Only God knows what is in store for the days and weeks and months to come, but things could get pretty tough and I welcome any and all prayers.

Well, I am back to work tomorrow, so I'd better "hit the hay" (no games of Skip-Bo tonight...ha! Both "M" and "I" are SO competitive that we spend a great deal of time planning our "move" so games take FOREVER!)

Good night.