We Survived

I "may" have been left drooling during an hour-long nap on the couch, but we all survived yesterday's 3rd birthday and today's Princess Party. I actually can currently walk in my room (there "may" be a box with all of the things that previously were on the floor, but for now they are out of the way!) And, I have a scrapbooking room that is "almost" functional, which is good because we took a LOT of pictures and I need to start putting together pictures of M and L to take with them when they leave. M was SO helpful and I definitely couldn't have pulled it off without her. In fact, I'm guessing if you put the lists of what we did next to each other, it may actually look like I did "nothing"...why, then, did I need that nap that left me drooling?! ;) She and her friend immediately cleaned up after everyone left, so besides the balloons and presents in the living room, it doesn't even look like we HAD a party! (Seriously, what High School Sophomores are like that?! Amazing girls!)

Okay, onto the pictures...the few of which I feel "safe" to post, since technically, foster parents aren't supposed to post photos of their foster kids. But, I figure if they just look like other girls their age/size and I don't disclose the city/State where I live, it shouldn't be an issue. So, here goes.

Well, obviously this isn't "L", but it IS my nephew who is now FOURTEEN months old! I haven't taken/posted pictures of him in a while. He is getting SO big and definitely has a mind of his own. L isn't THAT great with him, but I imagine that is partially an age thing and also that she is the "baby" of her family. She gets extremely jealous when other people, especially me, pick him up and play with him. My sister is doing a great job with her, and for that I am grateful. She's still quite a bit more of a nervous/worried/protective mom with "A" than I imagine I will be, but he will turn out fine :)

My sister, nephew, L, and I had breakfast at IHop yesterday. I was mis-led in my wanting to substitute French Toast for pancakes and it ended up being $18 for L and I to eat, even though my sister and I used a Buy One Get One coupon. I was too distracted to look that closely at the receipt, but probably should have said something. Oh well, she got ice cream with a candle and all the wait-staff came and sang to her. :)

From there, we went to the dollar store which is just a fabulous place. I got princess balloons (3 of course) and a bunch of little gifts to add to her gift bag. Amazing that they can sell all that stuff for $1!

After that, we went to the place where my sister buys hair products. The girls there gave L a really cute bracelet after I told them it was her birthday...so sweet!

Then, I took her to that big store that I never go to because I prefer Target, but knew they had a nail place. She got flower designs put on her painted fingers for $6. Good thing they were cheap because she has already bit all of them off!

She got a lot of compliments on her dress, but I couldn't take credit for this one because it came with her. When the previous foster mom texted me, I let her know that :) This is a picture of L helping me in the kitchen. She likes having "jobs" and this time I was letting her help me make an ice cream cake.

I think it turned out well...and it was very yummy!

I had a coupon for a free pizza at one of my favorite restaurants as well as a gift card to the same restaurant. So, to off-set the cost of our "regal" breakfast, that's where we went for her birthday dinner. The pizza had like five kinds of meat on it, so after our appetizer, each of us could only eat one piece. Yay for free AND leftovers!

It was a nice night and still pretty early, so we went to a park. She went on the swing and we all went on the merry-go-round (I don't remember feeling so sick on those, but didn't last NEARLY as long as I used to be able to!) She went down the slide and ran around when I told her I wanted to take pictures some where.

Time to go! Fun tunnel entrance/exit :)

Now, I love M and her friend, but last night, their planning/communication was, well, likely normal for Sophomores. However, it left me with heartburn and definitely some not-so-kind comments directed their way. They wanted to go to the first school dance of the year. I, too, wanted them to go because I remember going to school dances when I went to high school where they go. The dance was 8:30-11:30. It isn't TOO far from my house (read: less than 5 miles round trip) but I wasn't sure how that was going to work. Of COURSE they didn't want to go at the beginning, so her friend would pick her up at "9"...and then I would pick them up and her friend would spend the night. Well, 9 turned into closer to 9:45 and the little one had stayed up because M had told her ALL day long that her friend was coming to see her/play with her. Of course L freaked out when I was trying to put her to bed without her sister here and was a bawling mess (plus, it was LATE and we had had a busy day!) I was so irritated that I was going to have to get her up to drive to the school...I was planning my "talk" the whole time they were gone.

However, things worked out, L pretty much stayed asleep, they were "silent" during the drive home, and she went right back to sleep. Then, the girls helped SO much with the party that I think it best not to say anything. Ah, the learning curve of starting with a teen and a toddler...I do feel like things could be a LOT worse and don't ALL parents just do the best they can?!

This is the only picture taken today that doesn't show her face. We had pizza, punch, princess cake, and our ice cream cake. Simple, but fun, and we had a HOUSE full! Ok, we had 12 adults and 6 kids, but it felt like a LOT since we were just in the kitchen and living room (oh, by the way, someone GAVE me that couch nearly seven years ago and Lord knows how long THAT person had it, but it works and I have other things to worry about/spend money on...you know, like my MacBook...ha!) My one friend adopted her two kids from foster care and they have some behavior "issues", especially the boy. So, that was a little tough and he blew out the candles for her. Also typical of kids' birthdays is that all the other kids want to "help" open the presents and play with the toys. But, all in all, everyone had fun and we survived :)

My family was all really good with their gifts and mostly bought practical, not that expensive gifts. It's tough, but considering their mom didn't really call to talk to her on the phone yesterday or today, keeping it "low key" is probably best. (She did call and talk to M both days briefly about what happened at court and about the plans for their family gathering today...well, that's what I'm assuming they talked about.)

Speaking of court, there is no official word on what happens from here. Apparently, the judge didn't want to make a ruling when everyone was there, so that doesn't sound "great". I think they had asked for visits to become unsupervised, or semi-supervised. Once they go to unsupervised, it may be my responsibility to transport them to and from visits. Sweet. I guess I did sign up for this. They system seems to move really slow since her last court date was in MARCH. So, hopefully the next one won't be so far away, especially if they can't move forward with the transition back until after she goes to court again.

It's such a mess...note to self (and others): Don't get your kids taken away because you will have to jump through hoops to get them back.

So, they went to a family birthday/reunion type thing with the visitation workers and I took a nap (and had time to post a very wordy blog post!) I was hearing "through the grapevine" that their mom wanted me to come to the party so the girls could stay longer, but she has yet to ask me herself (even though I spoke to her briefly on the phone twice today). That would take place less than an hour from now, I'm wearing sweats and my hair is a matted mess, so at this point I'd be tempted to say "no" if she calls to ask. However, I guess I'll see what happens when/if that time comes because my party dress IS still laying out on my bed (and I'm about to wrap up this post so I can get dinner).

We survived, and had a lot of fun. I have the next five days off and am looking forward to more fun with the girls :) This is my first full weekend off in FOREVER and it is awesome!

Ta ta for now.

New Look

I have to make this "short and sweet" since the little one is napping and I need to find energy to clean since there are PEOPLE coming to my house on Saturday for a birthday party (hopefully!) I also need to shower, pay bills, and be ready to go to a work meeting before we pick up M from school. Fun times :)

Anyway, on Saturday, my aunt and uncle came over to help me in my back yard. I've never really used my back yard even though it is fenced in. There isn't any lighting back there, but really I don't know why it never gets used. There was an ugly shed back there that held my mower, some "tools" and a handful of other items. The door had fallen off and it was a bit rusty (plus it was ugly!) So, my aunt and uncle took it down (with a little help from me!) I pulled weeds (there were a LOT of them...boy do I miss those weeds ;) ) and the little one played in the dirt.

I didn't get a really good "after" picture, but the picnic table is also gone and my back yard looks COMPLETELY different! I need to go back there and make sure it is "safe", because it would be really nice to be able to use that area on Saturday.

I got a letter from the agency reminding us not to post pictures of our foster kids on facebook/myspace. It doesn't mention anything about "blogs" (ha ha) but I'm sure it means that too. However, I'm nearly positive that none of the photos I have (or will) posted are images that could actually identify the girls. No where on here does it say where I live and my thoughts are that "L" couldn't be identified in a line up of other dark-haired girls of her size with pictures like the ones above and previous ones...hopefully I'm correct and "safe".

Okay, enough "stalling". It's going to be a little inconvenient having the mower in the garage instead of in the back yard, but I'm pretty excited about my new look :)

Ta ta for now!

Come on, now, really?!

Come on, now, are you for real?! That's seriously what I wanted to say to the person from the state who called me at 12:45 (after multiple messages left by me) to let me know that tonight's visit was canceled. They didn't have visitation workers to do the visits. It has been at least 2 weeks of canceled visits for that same reason (this time it isn't the mom's "fault"...well, not entirely anyway). That left me texting my mom, dad, and sister letting them know that they would be needing to watch the girls until I got off work AND would have to break the news to the girls that they would not, in fact, be seeing their mother and brothers today.

Seriously, freaking annoying.

And, not only that, but tomorrow's visit was scheduled for 10-1 and Sunday was to be the same. Oh no, that would be WAY too easy since, you know, the whole visit on Saturday morning thing was what almost canceled the birthday party for next week. Nope, tomorrow is either the boys OR the girls and is to be right during the time we were planning to go to church and a baseball game. So, boys it is. Sunday's visit is now from 1-5, seriously. Not only that, but NOW they have visits Monday and Tuesday as well which was totally not in the plan and we made OTHER plans for those days (Tuesday's pick up is scheduled right in the middle of a monthly work meeting...yeah, super nice, thanks).

Oh, and next Saturday's visit is in the afternoon, not in the morning, so I WOULDN'T have had to call their mom and work out a compromise that involved me inviting their brothers and attending a family gathering with them.

So, because they can't get their act together, I had two girls who missed visits, a sister who had to baby-sit longer, a mom who had to alter her work schedule, and a dad who is used to having the house to himself. I was at work, but it did make for a heck of a lot more text messages and phone calls! And this is just what this change did TODAY! Monday and Tuesday are another story because they want to pick up M at a time when she isn't even home from school.

Come on, now, really?! Do these people think that we're sitting around at home eating bon bons waiting for whenever they decide to have visits?! No, we plan things like birthday dinners and birthday parties, things like baseball games and school dances, things like work meetings and church. We aren't going to stop living just because we MAY need to be ready to change our plans at the drop of a hat.

However, we may be learning that we can't get the girls' hopes up for things that could potentially not happen. I, for one, don't want to be the cause of any more disappointment because these girls have had more than their share. I have learned how to make little things exciting, so toning things down may be tough for me!

On a good note of the day, my parents and sister have been AMAZING through all of this, especially since they didn't "sign up for this". Also, M went out with her friend to play miniature golf and they are having a sleepover. L was on her best behavior and there were no issues with her leaving her sister at school and spending the day with my sister alone.

So, with that, good night.

Part of the Deal

Today I had to deal with one of the not-so-fun parts of being a foster mom...

After many messages left, I finally found out when the visits will resume and when they will be.

They have never had visits on Saturdays, so I sent invitations and prepared to have a Princess Party on Saturday the 28th to celebrate the little one's 3rd birthday. We decided 1130-130 would be a good enough time to show we cared, but not be over-the-top. I planned on pizza and cake/ice cream. My sister ordered a little bit pricier/fancier cake as her present. It all seemed perfect...until I found out this morning that visits will be Friday nights 5-8, Saturdays from 10-1, and Sundays from 10-1.

Are you kidding me?! I was like "can't you just change the visit so we can have this party as we planned"? Oh no, remember that I'm NOT the mom, she is, and she gets her visits. Okay, I get that, but no way was I going to invite her to come to my house for the party for the visit as the person from the state suggested. How awkward would THAT be?! Sure, she likes me now and I've tried not to say anything negative about her, but still, MY family is going to be there and that seems kind of weird. So, basically I was told that I needed to call the mom to work this out.

I took some deep breaths and decided that waiting wouldn't make it any easier/better. When I told her about the party, she said that was nice, but she was going to ask me to bring the girls to an all day family gathering that day. Come on, really?! I just wanted the visit moved to 9-noon so we could still have the party. Then she was upset that I didn't invite their siblings, but seriously, couldn't they have THEIR family party on Friday night. Why is that my problem that she is super busy with all their family stuff so she doesn't have time to plan a party?! Grr!

Well, after over 30 minutes of round and round, painful conversation (holding my breath that she wasn't going to invite herself to the party!), we were able to come to a compromise...I think...I hope. She will "allow" me to have the party as planned during the 1130-130 time frame as long as I bring the girls to the afternoon events. She was still upset about the boys being "not welcome" at the party...seriously?!

But, I talked to "M" about inviting her brothers and she thought I should. My mom's concern was them "comparing" where the girls are living versus where they are, plus the fact that "L" will obviously get gifts because who doesn't want to buy something for a 3-year-old girl?! My concern was them feeling out-of-place and bored since I didn't plan any games and don't have that big of a house. However, in order to "make peace", I called their foster mom (the first time I have talked to her) and told her about the party. She, too, was asked to bring them to the family gathering that day, but this morning party fits better into her schedule for that day (don't ya love how foster parents' schedules are supposed to work around the biological parents' schedules?!) so it could actually work out "perfectly"...

Well, that is unless she changes her mind...

I'm still hoping she doesn't decide that SHE needs an invitation to the party (thank goodness for the family gathering, I guess...nice little "blessing in disguise"!)

I suppose when I signed up to be a foster mom, dealing with biological parents is part of the deal...and I know that I am lucky that she likes me (for the time being anyway)

Well, "M" starts school in the morning and "L" was REALLY acting out today, so that will be fun. I signed "M" up for driver's ed, so we went out driving twice today (in the cemetery which my dad so kindly pointed out is a good place to go because "you can't kill anyone there") The cemetery I picked had lots of winding roads and the second time we went in the evening when no one else was around. She greatly improved from the first time to the second. Of course, she didn't go any fast than 15 mph, but you wouldn't really want to on those roads anyway!

I have to get up early too, so better head to bed.

Good night.

Not Quite Ready

"My" teenager starts her sophomore year on Thursday. I'm not quite ready for the summer to end...

This has been a summer like no other...and like no other will be. All good things must come to an end, I suppose...as the saying goes.

This little one will still be with me...I'm not quite sure how my grand idea of "home schooling" will be, but we will have fun...and I'm certain she will learn new things.

Apparently, she does already know how to climb...

and I love my new computer...can you tell?!

Good night :)

Testing, testing

Last night I bought a new computer, my first "Apple". My brother-in-law told me it was the way to go. I just knew I needed a computer that would stop crashing on me (HOW many times has it broken since I bought it four years ago?!) While it financially maybe wasn't the best idea, I NEED to have a computer that works or I will go insane...seriously ;) I do have a netbook, but it is a bit more challenging to do work on there, plus I have been letting "M" use it. So, I took the plunge and bought a MacBook. I got it with 24 months no interest, so it will be less than $50 a month, which isn't too bad (for something that keeps me out of the nut house, definitely worth it...ha!)

I'm going to have to take a class to learn how to use it, but think using iPhoto will be a lot of fun. I enjoy taking pictures but am not a photographer by any means. I have no clue how to use photoshop or "fancy" cameras. However, this looks like a fun and easy way to change up my pictures. Here are a couple from when the girls and I went downtown to feed the ducks and walk around. "L" was being a little stinker tonight, but I still love her and think these pictures are cute (as are the ones where you can actually see her face, but I can't post those ones...darn!)

The first time I looked at Photo Booth, I laughed so hard I cried (and nearly wet my pants!) Yes, I totally took this completely unattractive picture of me in my pjs after a 12-hour shift, but it's the effect I'm after, so even if I was beautifully dressed, it would STILL be funny (and not very attractive...ha)!

I'm going to have fun with this computer. Tomorrow is my last weekend day off before school starts...wow! I'm not ready for those early mornings, but it is what it is and we will make it through like everyone else does :)

Good night.

Summer Fun

This morning, the little one and I went to a foster parent/child gathering at a sprinkler park (we left the teen at home to relax/clean/study). She was timid at first and clung to me not wanting to get near the water, but eventually got brave and even got her hair wet. I didn't grow up going to the pool/playing in the sprinkler, so we haven't done much of that this summer. However, I was able to capture some fun pictures of her enjoying herself that I am able to post since you can't see her face :) I got wet and enjoyed myself too. Maybe we will have to go back...we are going to have to find things to occupy our time once the older one goes back to school and it's just us!

Happy Summer! :)

At the Mention of Her Name

The teenager isn't talking to me. I guess the upside of that is number one that it doesn't happen that often and number two that it means I get to use our computer.

Today we ran around all day long and the little one didn't go down for a nap until 3:30. She was surprisingly cooperative all through our errands even though she didn't get a nap...I am so blessed!

Our first stop was at the DMV to get the teenager her learner's permit. We went inside, then realized that I needed proof of address. I wasn't sure I had appropriate documents, but ended up finding some things in the car and we went back inside...to wait and wait for our turn. She got her picture taken, did the vision check and then the little one and I waited outside while she took her written exam. She took her time, but still didn't pass so we will have to go back. She was given some practice questions so hopefully she will pass the next time.

From there, we went to the mall so she could use my "Vicky's" coupons which were for a free pair of underwear and $10 toward anything (she got three mini lotions/perfumes). We then grabbed lunch to go from Panera and went to meet with the caseworker at the agency.

We ate lunch and filled out paperwork. While we were at the DMV, we discovered that M's birth certificate has a different birth date than everything else...not sure why she didn't know when her birthday was, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, that doesn't sound like something very fun to change (I don't think her birth certificate is wrong like she suggested...guess she'll have to ask her mom the next time she sees her!) The agency had a bunch of clothing donations, so we got some things for the little one. "M" was given the tubs with things her size/age and pretty much stuck her nose up at everything until I went through one with her and showed her some items th
at WOULD fit and that money doesn't grow on trees at my house...ha! She's always a little "stand-off-ish" when we meet with the caseworker and hardly says a word which is totally not typical of the girl who talks my ear off even when I'm OBVIOUSLY reading/typing something on my computer...ha! I'm not sure why she is so rude, but I guess the caseworker is used to it and I haven't figured out a way to address it, or even know if I should.

After we got home, I put the little one down for a nap, did a few things, and then called my mom in another room while M was on the computer. I was talking to my mom about a couple of different things, including L's birthday that is coming up on the 27th. I think I will have a small lunch party for her on that Saturday with pizza and cake. I mentioned to my mom that I hadn't decided yet if I should invite the previous foster parents since the girls were with them for six months (and they are paying for M to go to private school, but she doesn't know that). Apparently M was listening because she yelled a "No" to which I shot back an "I wasn't talking to you". When I was off the phone, I let her cool off a little before I apologized for snapping at her, but really WASN'T talking to her. She wouldn't look at me, but responded by telling me that if she was invited, she wouldn't come out of her room and she basically that she doesn't appreciate me even thinking about asking them because they aren't "family". She said a few other things regarding "the way she was treated there". I have a hard time believing things were THAT bad there (HELLO, they put her in private school and are still paying for it even though she is living with me!), but told her that I appreciated her input and would take it into consideration.

That conversation happened an hour or so ago and she hasn't spoken to me since. She finished her practice questions and then went to her room. It amazes me that the mention of "her" name has such an effect on M. I suppose I really DON'T know what went on there, but I do figure that a teenager who is placed in foster care isn't going to be a big fan of her first foster parents no matter how hard they try. Obviously, the fact that they had two teenagers of their own living there (plus a bunch of pets) means it was a lot different dynamic than it is here. Plus, it was the school year not the summer, and I haven't put limits on television watching/computer use up to this point. Anyway, she did pretty much seal the deal on my decision NOT to invite them, but I guess there is nothing wrong with having her wonder about that for a little while.

I haven't heard when visits are going to start up again and I suppose she probably has some built-up anger against her mom that she isn't willing to place ON her mom. I can take it, right?! Ha! Well, I suppose it's time for me to go see what kind of mood she's in now because the little one can't sleep all night and we need to figure out dinner.

Ah, the life of the mom of a teenager...I'm counting my blessings, though, because I know it could be a LOT worse!

Night time update: Me blogging + her taking a nap = things seem to be back to "normal"
We went to "Dollar Tree" and got party supplies for a Princess Party for super cheap and did our work out after having ice cream together. Now it's time to watch Days of Our Lives on DVR ;)

Bummer

I'm really bummed out about a couple of things and I'm hoping if I "blog" about them, I will feel better/less bummed.

My brother-in-law gave me my laptop back today and said he was able to make it work again, but barely and to save all my files because he wasn't sure how long it would last. He said I need to buy a Mac the next time...I was hoping the "next time" wasn't coming so quickly. I got the laptop home tonight, turned it on, and nothing happened. So, even if it worked for him, it doesn't want to work for me...bummer! My net book works fine, but it is a little harder to work on and "M" is going to have homework to do that requires the computer and I still need my blogging/twitter/email time :)

The other "bummer" is different, but makes me even more sad than having to buy a new computer. However, it's something that I need to "get over" because there is nothing I can do about it. The little one and I went to a birthday party last night. We put on pretty dresses, I had gotten my hair done, did my make-up, did her hair, and let her put on sparkly lotion. We were dressed to party and both SO excited! She had a blast and I had fun watching her/chasing her. I did some visiting, but mostly tried to stay one step ahead of her so she didn't stick her hands in the cake, knock over any drinks, or do anything else she wasn't supposed to do (even though she is REALLY well-behaved, I had no clue what she was going to be like around other kids)! It was so much fun to be able to be at this party with my friend and her family, to celebrate this special life (keeping this vague on purpose, but if you've read my blog for a while, I'm sure you can read between the lines ;) )

As soon as I got home, I realized that I didn't get in any pictures besides the group one. I didn't get any cute pictures with me and little one, even though she did pose for a couple when I was standing RIGHT there. I didn't get a picture with the birthday girl. I still don't have any pictures of me and my friend together even though we have been friends for years. I just can't believe that I let this opportunity for some great pictures pass me by when there were at least two people taking photos throughout the party and I never took mine out once (and I carry my camera with me everywhere!). Honestly, my eyes fill with tears thinking about it and I'm hoping that by blogging it, I will be able to put the past behind me and realize that the memories are there even if the photos are not...

The teen and I started Jillian Michaels' 30.day.shred on Thursday, but skipped today since she hurt her ankle and I worked so wasn't motivated to do it alone...

Other than that, things are going well here, even with the "bummers". I have the next two days off and am looking forward to that. "M" starts school on the 19th and that will drastically change our routine!

Well, "M" is talking my ear off even though I am sitting here typing...ha!

Good night.

Two Months

I can hardly believe that two months ago I became a foster mom for the first time. Two months ago these two amazing girls came into my life and changed everything. We have been to the zoo and baseball games. We rode on a boat and watched fireworks. We danced in the rain and spotted rainbows. We have been to the park and to the movies. We read books and sing songs. We play cards and watch Days of Our Lives (that's "M" and me...ha!)

I am so grateful for this time and the blessings these girls have brought me. And, the "pit" I had in my stomach the other day about them not going home soon was pretty much confirmed today. I was talking to someone else on the case and asking how the transition home worked. From what she said, her "guess" is that the girls will be with me for 3-6 more months. Wow! I definitely didn't see that coming even though I thought 3 weeks was unrealistic. Anything can happen, though, and I still won't know for a few weeks, but it is nice to have an "idea" of what to expect (apparently in "State talk", hearing the words "we are trying to get you home" for the past two months doesn't really mean much...)

So, it looks like our time together and memories created will continue for a while. Of course, things will be hectic once I'm the (working) mother of a high school sophomore! I guess like every other family, we are counting down the days until school starts...she starts in TWO WEEKS!! (One nice thing about her going back to school will be the little one's 3-hour nap on my days off when I can maybe get on facebook and read blogs!)

That post took me forever to write, but at least I wrote a blog post :)
Good night.

A Pit

I'm thankful that I have time to "blog" today because I'm feeling rather emotional today.

Work has picked back up, but now it is SUPER busy...no happy medium for us! We have been full and having to work short-staffed and/or have people work extra shifts. It really is crazy how that happens. Having kids makes it a bit of a challenge to pick up extra shifts! I was, however, able to split a shift with someone on Sunday so I didn't have to get someone to watch the girls and still get extra hours. I was so busy yesterday (I had patients on the complete opposite sides of the unit which people don't usually do and after three days of that, my body was just tired!) and didn't get home until late. On the bright side of that, my pay check this Friday will be nice AND the older one had started dinner by the time I got home :)

The little one and I ran errands this morning. We went to the hospital to drop some things off to my A-team girl's mom. A is really sick and it's very sad to see her mom/my friend hurting like this. I suppose that is part of what goes on when you work with chronically sick kids, but even nearly seven years into this, it doesn't get any easier.

I also talked to the caseworker this morning and have a feeling the girls aren't going to be going back with their family this month. I guess my naive, glass half-full self was under the impression that things were better and preparing myself to say good-bye. However, their mom hasn't called in a week and has been out-of-town for two. I know she is with her family who needs her too which may be her "saving grace" and I'm trying to stay positive for the girls' sake, but I have this pit in my stomach. I cried at an appointment today (not my counselor or spiritual director...caught THAT woman by surprise...ha!) because I'm really sad for them. I suppose I should have known all this going into the foster care system, but I guess I didn't prepare myself as well as I thought. I guess maybe I tried to prepare myself to let kids go back to a place that wasn't 100% perfect, but not really for the disappointment that comes when they DON'T go back when you think they will. Of course, I'm not saying they NEED to go because I LOVE having them here, but it does make me sad their mom is missing out on being with her AMAZING girls.

While I was crying at my appointment, the older one was cleaning my house. She cleans ALL the time! Apparently it provides some kind of therapy for her (I'd much rather blog, read blogs, or sleep!) which is good for me :) I have a room that is a disaster (a pit, actually...ha!) that is supposed to be an office/scrapbooking room but has never been used for that. When I came home, she had not only made it so you could WALK in there, she also vacuumed and organized all of my scrapbooking supplies. I couldn't believe she did that for me...and, had I not used up my tears at my appointment, I probably would have cried on the spot at her thoughtfulness. Of course, if it becomes a usable room, she can do her homework there! There are a lot of things in there that she can't take care of, so I'll have to spend some time during the next couple of days/weeks to help her.

Well, I have a double-header softball game, so I'd better get a couple of things done before that...including eat dinner. My going back to work has definitely put a damper on our healthy eating and the older one had to resort to Chef Boyardee for lunch since I haven't cooked in a while!

Until the next time...