On Vacation...and So I Blog

I am not sure I've EVER gone this long without posting on my blog since I started it in 2007. It's been just over six weeks since I got my second foster placement (Zoe--she's 4 1/2 and has cystic fibrosis). I think we are starting to get into a good routine...for now anyway. She finished with her nebulizer antibiotic last week, so her treatments take about 15 minutes less than they used to. I've also been getting called off work a lot :( (my next pay check is going to be about half of what it usually is since I took vacation and have no PTO to cover it after all the other days of not getting to work). When I'm off, we can get her treatments started a little earlier and we are already at home rather than me having to get her from day care after work and driving home (even though it is only a 10 minute drive, that makes a difference!) So, not being able to work sucks for the "cash flow", but it has helped both of us get a little more sleep!

She's doing really well and we have a lot of fun when we do get to "hang out". She goes to Head Start from 9-4 Monday through Friday and then has visits right after that until 7:30. So, our time together is mostly treatments, bath, snack, reading books, and bed. I was off last weekend, though, so we got to have some fun. I'm also off all this next week (my birthday is Monday--yay!) and she has two days off school, so we'll be able to do something.

Right now, I am over 700 miles away in a hotel room waiting for my college friend to drive from her home to meet me. I'm attending my 10-year college reunion and I'm SO excited to see people I haven't seen in a long time. One friend picked me up from the airport this morning (my flight left at 6 AM...that was brutal!) and brought me to see some of my "peeps" in the nursing department that were/are very special to me (I had a job in the nursing office, so got to know lots of the administrative assistants and professors pretty well). She brought me to lunch and then to the airport to check in. For dinner, I walked to the Downtown area. I think we'll go back there for drinks after my friend arrives :)

My sister is taking care of Zoe this weekend while I'm gone. She and my mom came over on Monday to learn her treatments and medications. I gave her three pages of notes and she said she may be texting me tomorrow, but I know she'll be fine. I talked to her after her evening treatment and my sister said she did fine with everything and had a good snack. I'm definitely going to miss her, but I'll be back Sunday afternoon and tomorrow will be really busy, so it will be ok :)

Speaking of missing...the teen hasn't been coming around in a while. The last time she spent the night was September 23, so going on a month. That after living here half the summer and every weekend after that. It's really weird and I don't know what's going on, but I miss having her at my house and hearing about what's been going on. She had lots of erratic spending/withdrawals (as in, over $500 in two weeks) from her bank account and I found out that her mom left town again (not for as long this time). Since she wasn't talking to me, I was afraid she had funded her mom's trip and it was really stressing me out. Then, there was a $141 transaction to a tattoo place and I about lost it (she was close to over-drafting her checking account twice). I was all ready to shut down her account and take back the $200 I gave her to start them in the first place. One of my twitter friends stopped me from doing that though ;)

I finally was able to talk to her in person and asked what was going on. She said nothing and that she had cash in her room as well as a pay check. She continued to maintain that everything was fine until I told her how close I was to closing the account. Then, she told me nonchalantly without making eye contact that she had bought a car (with help from her mom...shocker!...and I don't want to know where that money came from). The car was $1000 and she doesn't have her license yet, but she thinks that was a good decision so she can get to and from work (and school) easier. I'm not 100% convinced, but it is what it is. She's a little scared to drive after she was riding in a car with her friend who got into an accident. It wasn't her fault, but the teen had horrible seat belt bruises (thank goodness she was wearing one!) Later that night (last Friday), a good friend from work was hit by a drunk driver and died from his injuries. She said they are going to do some drinking and driving awareness stuff at work in his honor and do a fundraiser. It is really sad she is dealing with that stuff, but I think it will help her continue to make good choices. I'm not sure how her grades are. She said she wasn't doing well in math, but didn't say much else. She still wants to go to the big university, but she needs to get at least 5 points higher on her ACT which she is taking next week. I hope she continues to stay focused and working hard toward her goals/dreams :)

Zoe's mom goes back to court on December 3. I don't think they can change her placement status until after court. Apparently things are going well, so I'm not sure how much longer I'll have her after that. She does seem willing to do what is asked of her (like starting to offer Zoe her supplements on visits rather than taking the easy way out and giving her the water that she wants) and hasn't canceled visits. She didn't attend either of the family team meetings we have had and also missed a doctor's appointment, but those are being excused away by the caseworker...it is what it is. I found out that the caseworker is 3 months into this job, but it is her second career...that explains some of why she is the way she is (my agency caseworker is a foster/adoptive parent and has been working with the system for over 35 years).

Even though some days are tough, I am so thankful to have these girls (and the little one) in my life. I know that I have made a difference in their lives, and will continue to have an impact on them.

I'm looking forward to having some fun away from it all (even though I'm sure I'll be talking about them a lot!) I'll try not to be such a stranger to this blog :)

Until the next time...

Not a Planned Break...

I did take a week vacation from work and went to Chicago for three days, but didn't plan on taking a blogging break. However, things have been crazy/busy and I haven't had time to write. I really need to find time, though, since there's a lot going on in my head/heart that needs to be let out!

Last night (at 1:45 AM), I got a phone call for a 4-year-old boy and a 4-month-old girl. All I was able to say was I'm sorry, but I go back to work tomorrow after being off for a week, so it won't work...and told her to keep trying me...and good luck. I woke up wondering why I said no, and felt kind of guilty, but not totally guilty. It will happen when it's supposed to happen...the timing will be right...and I won't hesitate about saying "yes"...(exactly two years ago today is when I got "the call" about the girls...)

More to come...when I can...but back to work tomorrow.

Birthday Vacation Over

I arrived back home around 4:00 this afternoon. As soon as my dad dropped me off at home, I headed out to get a (much needed) pedicure since I wasn't quite ready for my birthday vacation to end. I got a VERY nice pedicure complete with a sugar scrub and hot rocks...very relaxing :) All I had time to do when I got home from my pedicure was change my clothes and pull my hair up before my mom picked me up for dinner. It is our birthday tradition that the birthday girl/boy gets to pick a restaurant and we all go. Everyone has been wanting to go to our favorite Mexican place, but it didn't work for anyone else's birthday, so I chose it. (It wasn't much of a sacrifice seeing as I love me some chips & salsa! The next birthday isn't until June, so we needed another "fix" in 2011 anyway!)

We didn't get any family pictures, but I did snap a couple of my nephew. It is so fun to listen to him talk and figure things out. They grow up fast, don't they?!

It seems as if I have decided to start writing this post backwards, so I guess I can go to this morning and then back to Saturday (because, it's my blog after all...ha!) My aunt dropped me off at the airport on her way to work, so I got there pretty early for my 10:50 flight. I had to apologize to my people on twitter because I did get rather bored and tweeted a lot. It was a full flight and I sat further in the back than I ever do, but did get a window seat (I always pick a window seat even though I usually sleep). Not long after I sat down, a girl (woman, I guess is better, but I don't feel like people would call me "woman"...maybe they would...) and sat down and started talking to me. She was with her husband and they were going on a trip to celebrate their 16th Anniversary. She was nervous about both of them flying and their kids (11-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son) being at home in case anything happened to them. She mentioned she didn't like to fly...well, I do like to fly and I ALSO like to talk, so we talked the entire flight.

We talked about so many different things...pretty crazy! She told me about her family, I told her about mine. We talked about our jobs, a little bit about our churches. I told them about my "Internet friends", going away to college, moving away, then coming back home. As we talked, I realized that I am even more confident in my life, my journey, my ministry, my mission, being what God has called me to do. Yes, I know that I need to keep the door open to other opportunities, but right now, I truly believe that I have been given a great gift that I am using the best way I know how. Yes, sometimes it is really hard (see yesterday's post), but I feel like I have come a long way in understanding all of this. Usually, I really am content sleeping on the airplane, but I am so thankful that I had my eyes and ears open to this conversation that was such a blessing to me. So, to Christy and Chris, where ever you are...thanks for that special hour and a half :)

Speaking of making the most of a short time period (how's that for a segue?!), I talked to Tammy and Alece prior to making arrangements to travel to Nashville. As the time got closer, it turned out that our schedules didn't really match up very well. So, we had a two-hour period of time at dinner on Saturday (my actual birthday) that would work. My cousins picked me up at the airport and we drove up to the town where they live. My cousins and I had a nice visit in the car and they drove me through Downtown Nashville on the way. We were early, so we did a little browsing at B & N (a very large one!) before meeting them for dinner. As mentioned above, I love me some chips and salsa, so told Tammy to pick a place that had that. I hadn't been to Chili's in forever, so it was a good choice (plus they have yummy margaritas!)

Our waiter "Frankie Brandy" tried to hook me up with a free margarita at Tammy's request, but that didn't quite work out (I got ice cream and a brownie though). He did, however, "card" her first and then proceeded to card Alece and me, so all of us were pretty "pumped" about that ;)

Two hours wasn't nearly enough time and I wish I had done more listening than talking (I feel like I talked a LOT), but it is what it is. My cousins seemed to enjoy themselves too and Alece and Tammy were both very good at keeping them involved in the conversation (you know, since I was doing all the talking...) Maybe next time we talk it will be on skype or something so they can mute me ;) (kidding...hopefully I wasn't THAT bad!)

This picture really makes me laugh, so I had to post it again. I wish I was better at making a scared face, but that's as good as it gets. It also cracks me up that people get worried about me and my "Internet friends", but they are the ones who showed up to dinner not knowing my last name (or that I had dark brown hair)...ha! I'm so thankful that we were able to meet up, even though it was brief...treasured time, though, treasured time.

Okay, I'm going to have to speed up my post here seeing as I'm scheduled to work in 7 1/2 hours and haven't worked in a week. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get called off/put on call, but I have to be ready just in case!

Sunday night, my aunt made lasagna and cheesecake and we celebrated my birthday then since we all had other plans on Saturday night. Everything was delicious and it was very fun to celebrate with them. They used to live in Texas, so are very excited about the Rangers being in the World Series, so we watched the game after dinner/dessert.

My cousin had to go back to college after that and my uncle ended up going to the game last night, so flew out early yesterday morning. My aunt and I went to Downtown Franklin to browse in the boutiques there. It was fun just "hanging out" and visiting. We ate a late lunch there before heading back to their house to take a nap and watch the World Series (Go Rangers...even though my dad is a HUGE Cardinals fan...tough for this baseball-loving girl!)

Well, that pretty much "sums it up"...I'm not a brief blogger...you people who can put incredible words of wisdom into a few sentences amaze me (but, I guess this blog isn't necessarily about "words of wisdom", is it?!...I think not ;) )

Good night...back to work tomorrow.

Because It's My Blog

This may be kind of a "random" post in the midst of my "birthday vacation", but it's been on my mind, so I'd better just let it out (so I can sleep better...ha!)

The last time I met with my therapist (have I mentioned I "heart" her?!), I told her about my upcoming trip to Nashville and that I was going to meet Alece and Tammy when I was here. Although she is "retirement age", she understands this blog/twitter/Internet thing way more than anyone else in my "real life". I wish I could remember her exact words that fully explained the "why" all this works for me, but basically it goes right along with my "life journey". I've struggled for a long time (I've been seeing her for over two years) with trying to "fit in", and with her help have been able to (mostly) realize that "fitting in" isn't exactly "me". I'm on my own path, my own journey, but I love my life. However, because it doesn't "fit" with how others would have planned it for me, or how others have done things, or what others think should/would make me happy, I end up in a "battle" both with them and with myself wondering if I really am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life...even though I always end up answering myself with "yes" (usually after a great deal of tears).

Anyway, she understood that this place (my blog & twitter) is a place where I have sought out people whose lives are also not "cookie cutter" and found people who love me for me, right here in the midst of my journey, where I share the fun times, the irritating times, the sad times, the overwhelming times, and the times where I have been incredibly blessed. Here is where I have felt comfortable sharing the hurts and the losses, but also the celebrations, joys, and dreams that have become reality. There is something about being "anonymous" that gives me such freedom to just be "me"...I didn't think that it was because I was "afraid" though...

Yesterday, I read Chapter 2 of "What Women Fear" by Angie Smith (I know, I'm a little behind!) and I'm actually surprised I didn't cry my way through it. See, Chapter 1 was "Fear of the 'What if'..." and it didn't hit me NEARLY as hard as Chapter 2 which is "Fear of Rejection, Abandonment, and Betrayal". While I don't have stories of being humiliated like Angie wrote about, or really being full-out rejected or abandoned, it still hit me as a person who grew up as "likeable", struggling to "fit in" while maintaining that I wasn't going to fully change myself in order TO "fit in". Angie asks the question "How do we turn the corner from fear of rejection to peace and trust no matter the situation?" I think that my 4 1/2 years of blogging (and my 2+ years of therapy) has given me the confidence to "be myself" in settings where I am not "hidden" behind a computer. While it's still a struggle (as I wrote at the beginning of this post that I started writing hours ago) and I likely continue to rely too much on what other people think about me, I'm able to "love me for me" nearly as often as I love others for "loving me for me".

Thank you for loving me for me...and for helping me in my journey to realize that it doesn't really matter what other people think :) (The teen listened to this song lots of times when she was living with me...it does get me "teary", but if you know me, you know that the tears come easily!)

We Couldn't Resist

There will be more to come from my "birthday vacation", but wanted to at least post something. Last night, I met up with Alece and Tammy (along with my cousins). We'd "only" texted and talked on twitter and both of them informed me that they didn't know my last name (showing me their phone contact lists as "proof"). Since I'm writing this "today" and this was "last night", you know that I'm "ok" (unless, of course, I'm writing this while they are holding me hostage...hmm...)

They Are Home

Tonight, I brought the girls (and a car filled to the brim with their things) to go live with their mom and their siblings. I'm not sure it will actually feel "real" until a week or so passes and they don't come back. The teen didn't have time to pack all her things and I'm pretty sure she has close to a car full left here. So, I will pick her up from school on Monday to bring her here to pack the rest (she also said she'd clean her room...maybe her bathroom too ;) ).

It was an exhausting week since I worked four out of five days (Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday), had appointments all day Tuesday, and worked at the pumpkin patch all day yesterday. But, we managed to have a good week, making as many memories as time allowed. The park pictures are actually from last week and the pumpkin patch pictures are from today.

Right now, I'm doing okay. I cried intermittently throughout the week. I had countless people asking me how I was doing which was really nice and appreciated, but I did sort of get tired of crying every time. I don't know what our future relationship will look like, but in some ways (if we are able to maintain contact) it could be better since it will be on their terms and not fighting hard to get back home. Their mom did say "thank you for everything" when I dropped them off which I'll take (since I was really annoyed that we hadn't heard a single word from her since she decided last Friday she wanted them back today...together, not the little one first like everyone else thought would be best). 

I haven't had a chance to watch the recording of Sara (Gitzen Girl)'s memorial service from last night and missed out on her funeral that was Wednesday. It has been so cool to see how many lives she touched! It seems like Sara was one of those people who made EVERYONE feel like she was their best friend...what a great trait to have! Anyway, I have been "tweeting" with her friends Tam and Alece who live in Nashville and am thinking about going there in a couple weeks with hopes to "hang out" with them (and see my "other mom" and relatives). I tried to make sure that this wasn't an attempt to run away from my problems, but I'm thinking of it more as having something to look forward to. For YEARS I went on vacation for my birthday and "missed" last year since I had two kids. So, it isn't completely out of character to travel on my birthday and I got a "blessing" from my mom to go (although she doesn't know about the "Internet people" portion of the trip...ha!) :) Now I need to figure out the details and just go for it.

Funny story from tonight that I want to remember and then I need to go to bed: I brought the girls to a restaurant that for some reason has been our "favorite" and we've gone to more than half a dozen times before bringing them to their mom. For some reason we had like three different waitresses come to our table (I think one was in training). The one who brought the bill asked if we were paying together or separate. We were in a booth with the little one next to me and the teen across from us. I tried not to laugh when I said just one check. Then, the teen and I cracked up when she left to get it. Then, she put the check much closer to the teen than to me which only made us laugh harder. I'm wondering what was going through her mind because obviously she didn't see me as the "adult" with these two kids. But, whose kid did she think the little one was? Neither of us? Hers? Mine? It makes me laugh thinking about it

Pretty sure I'll be back here more often than I have been...until the next time, good night.

Lots of Firsts

I wasn't kidding when I wrote that it has been a whirlwind! Even before I got my FIRST foster placement, there were lots of others!

• I visited Pittsburgh for the FIRST time and went to the zoo and the children's museum.
• I met Ginger's family for the FIRST time.
• I had steak salad and a special white pizza for the FIRST time.
• I went with Ginger and the kids to Mass and it was the baby's FIRST time.
• Not exactly sure why, but when I was there with Ginger and the kids, I felt for the FIRST time that I really was ready to try this "mom thing".

All in all, my time in Pittsburgh was just fabulous! It rained a couple of days which made it hard to do some of the outside things she had planned. Her new camera wasn't working, so we didn't take nearly as many photographs as either of us planned. Also, one day I was in my pjs until nearly 2:00 before I decided to shower and get dressed, so it isn't like we would have gotten photos of that...ha! Of course I cried when it was time to leave. When I got home, I found out that when her daughter got home from school, she said she wished I was still there...and I cried again (and then I had to get to work making calls to the caseworkers!) I've been pinching myself a lot these days, but it's just hard to believe how much fun we have together when it is "by chance" that we know the other exists. I'm not sure when we will get to see each other again, but we're both hoping for sooner rather than later. =)

• Last night was my FIRST night with the foster kiddos. I think I'll call them "M" (15) and "L" (2 1/2) (since that's the first letter of the names they go by and will be easier for me to remember!) Their current foster mom dropped them off and left once we got involved in playing. We played Barbies (my FIRST time in a little while!) and the little one explored my basement with all of it's toys. We watched some TV for a while (and I discovered that I'm getting a bunch of channels I'm not paying for...score! I'm already paying too much, so I SHOULD be getting those channels!) They went to bed without any fuss, although I'm supposed to try and get the little one to sleep in her own bed, but that didn't happen last night...baby steps!
• My FIRST "foster mom fail" is that I had forgotten to get sliced cheese at the store on Friday night. It was late and I knew I had forgotten it, but was done shopping and the cheese was on the other side of the store, so I decided it could wait. Of COURSE "M" wanted a sandwich and I'm like well, I'm not sure I have mayo or anything (I did, but no mustard) and the only cheese I have is shredded or in string cheese form. So, she made her sandwich with string cheese...at least I got a smile out of her over that one!
• Today, I brought them to Mass for the FIRST time and they also met my mom, dad, sister, and nephew for the FIRST time. "M" was super quiet and my nephew was walking toward "L" like he was going to attack her, so she was shy as well...I didn't make them stay long (we were at my mom and dad's house).
• I saw "16 and pregnant" for the FIRST time...and likely should not have been watching it with my 15-year-old foster daughter. I'm thinking we'll have to set some TV rules...any ideas/suggestions?! Apparently, they were only allowed to "earn" very small amounts of TV time in the other home. I wasn't "allowed" to watch MTV growing up, so maybe I should make the same rules...I don't know. I definitely think we should try to do things without the TV on considering the weather is nice and all of us could use exercise.
• I had my FIRST oh.my.goodness.the.foster.care.system.is.crazy moment. I thought that the girls had a visit with their mom at 2, so they would be picked up around 1:30. Well, that time came and went and some time around 2, I called to see if they had gone to the other house instead of mine. Nope. She called me at nearly 2:30 to say that the transport person had just left there. It's only about a 10 minute drive, so when it was nearly 3, I called the foster mom who has the brothers to see if THEY had been picked up. Nope, and they usually get picked up at 2. Oh.my.goodness! I felt really bad for "M" as she sat here knowing full well that the visitation agency is kinda crazy and usually come late, send different people, etc. She also knew that the later it got, the shorter her visit with her mom. I was on the phone with the other foster mom when a guy pulled up in this little sports car and I told her that I wasn't sure how five kids would fit in there because there aren't even that many seat belts! Apparently, he didn't know to come here, he didn't know who was picking up the boys, he asked if he could use my car seat since his doesn't work well, and he didn't have his ID but asked "M" to verify that he had transported them to many visits. "Cluster*" for sure...wow!
  
  I'm sure this is the FIRST list of many FIRSTS that will come during this journey! However, I still think it feels like a "good fit" for my FIRST placement. My anxiety right now is about going to work tomorrow and negotiating my schedule. We are working on the schedule for July and it will be picked up tomorrow to finalize. The schedule I have would have been "ok/not great" for me alone, but does not appear like it will work well for me + kids. Because of the holiday and the way we do our weekend teams, I'm supposed to have to work every weekend in July (besides the one I requested off for the transplant reunion and my grandpa's 85th birthday party) which is not-so-great when you have kids. I would have just changed it, but it looked like it would mess things up, so I'd rather talk one-on-one with my manager/the scheduling person. Any spare prayers that I can get my request to have Tuesdays (softball), Fridays, and Sundays (visits) off (basically, that I can get the schedule I want!) would be appreciated :) I think they each have an additional visit, but am not sure what days those will be.

I can't believe the number of fb comments I have gotten supporting me in this "endeavor". I really am feeling the love and that definitely helps! :)

Well, I'd better head to bed. I went back to the grocery store and we now have sliced cheese (and some of the other things that "M" said they like).

More to come...although I'm not sure what being a foster mom is going to do to my blogging/twitter habit ;)

Good night.

Whirlwind

I'll have to write more about my trip tomorrow since my four-ish hours of sleep just hit me. Here's some "snippits"...and then a "recap" of the whirlwind that took place after I got to the airport...

We went to the Zoo on Monday...here's Ginger's daughter looking at the Komodo Dragon.

My dad is a "letter carrier" and takes pictures of post offices wherever he goes. I do the same. This is now the children's museum.

Making paper at the children's museum with Ginger's son.

There was LOTS of snuggling of the baby girl, but I didn't have any pictures of that on my camera...

After I wiped my tears, I headed toward my terminal, stopping to pick up souviners for my family along the way. I hadn't eaten breakfast, so was looking forward to hash browns at McD's with my breakfast sandwich and second cup of coffee. Although it was only 9:15, when I reached the front of the line, I heard that they were out of hash browns. Boo on that! I was hoping that would be my only stroke of "bad luck" today (especially since I was getting on a couple of airplanes!)

I had a fairly long layover in Chicago and realized on the trip there that they do not have free wifi...boo on that too! I decided it was going to be worth the "investment" to pay for internet since my phone does NOT work well for that and I'd have been bored out of my mind just walking around/people watching. My $6.95 internet worked for a while then suddenly I lost my connection. I took that as a sign to break for lunch, but then it didn't come back. So, I called customer service (since I most DEFINITELY wasn't going to pay that much for an hour of service!) That was around a 20 minute call, but the connection came back...and I told them they needed to credit my account which they did :)

My flight leaving for home was delayed a bit and my phone was pretty much dead so I was hoping I wouldn't miss the call from my dad who was circling the airport waiting for me to get my bags. I had enough charge to listen to a voice mail that came from my caseworker about the placement of a 7-year-old boy who would be placed tomorrow. I talked it over with my dad and agreed that it sounded like a good "first placement".

I called her back as soon as I dropped my bags on the living room floor. As far as she knew, he hadn't been placed, but she had to call the agency that referred him. She called me back to say a message was left and I'd likely get a call later.

So, I went to put in my first load of vacation laundry. I noticed my answering machine light blinking, so pressed play as I loaded the washer (I rarely answer my house phone and don't always remember to look for messages). The first message was a different caseworker calling about two girls. That message was left on Tuesday. The second was about donation pick-up. The third message was the same caseworker asking if I'd had time to think about the placement of the two girls. That message was from today. So, I called the first caseworker back to let her know I wanted more information about this placement. She said I needed to call the one who left the message for further information, but asked me to keep her posted.

I found out that it is a fifteen-year-old and her two-year-old sister. They are in a foster home now whose circumstances led them to needing the girls moved. I was given the number of their current foster parents to gather more information, but it definitely sounded like it would work...ESPECIALLY when I found out that the older girl goes to the high school I did (I've written a LOT about how special that school is to me, so when I heard that, it was like God was shouting at me...I didn't even have to TRY to hear Him! I guess that's what they meant when they told me "when it's right, you'll know!) Since I have gotten two calls about them, that makes me think there is a good possibility they will indeed be placed with me. The current foster mom and I decided to let the caseworker guide us in the transition between homes (since they aren't a HUGE hurry, but it also isn't something that should be dragged on to the point that they are living in two different homes.) So, I will call her in the morning (I mean, in a few hours...ha!) and go from there. Even though I've made good progress in the organizing/cleaning department, I have quite a bit to do tomorrow. I think that an actual placement is the perfect incentive for that...ha!

More to come on that front...

On another not, I DID miss this boy who is walking all over the place now! I brought home an entire suitcase of clothes and shoes from Pittsburgh for him. He and his parents were excited :)

Good night.

Slide Show Repeat

After I returned from Chicago, I created a slide show of pictures from my trip. I'm not exactly technologically savvy, so was rather proud of how it turned out. I can't tell you how many times I have watched it (I even watched it on Friday in between packing!) I'll actually re-post part of the original post from June 11, 2009. (I had technological difficulties while posting it and am still not sure if everyone who wanted to see it could see it...if it's something that you want to see and you can't, let me know! :) )

Worth the Wait? (Originally posted June 11, 2009)
Yes, I realize that it is 2:30 in the morning, but I have been working on my pictures from my trip for days and it is finally ready. It was "approved" by Ginger and she "requested" I post it "sooner rather than later". So, here you go! There is music, so if you are watching it from my blog, you may need to pause my other music. I am sorry that the slides with words on them go so fast...I had more than my share of "issues" putting it together and was tired of fighting my computer (not that I ACTUALLY would have known how to fix the problem!), so this is what you get. Enjoy!

**Ahh, that may have been a "teaser"...I'm not sure if my link works or not...if you want to watch it and you cannot, please let me know by either emailing or leaving a comment...darn technology!**

From Chicago Slide Show

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/cu8PlDuxrJgRIokaOSS7Rw?authkey=Gv1sRgCIm5seihx__bag&feat=directlink

Since the quotes go by WAY too fast, I decided to go ahead and "list" them here. It will also be nice for me to have them all in "one place" for future reference!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin

"I don't believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents." ~Pablo Picasso

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings

"Hugs are the universal medicine."
"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures." ~Kahlil Gibran

"Never go on trips with anyone you do not love." ~Ernest Hemingway

"That is the best--to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny." ~Gloria Vanderbilt

"The world would be so lonely, in sunny hours or gray. Without the gift of friendship to help us every day." ~Hilda Brett Farr

"Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence." ~Sydney Smith

"Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking forward to sharing time with them again." ~Lee Wilkinson

"Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours." ~Ludwig van Beethoven
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Just a couple additional quotes that didn't make it into the slide show (since I spent a good portion of the day looking up quotes, I may as well share them!)

"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

"A laugh is a smile that bursts." ~Mary H. Waldrip

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~Bernard Meltzer

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same."

Preparing

It's T minus sixteen hours until my dad picks me up for the airport. All of my laundry is clean and my list of what I want to pack is complete. I probably will call Ginger at some point to make sure I have packed everything I will need for whatever she has planned for us. I'm just looking forward to "hanging out", but I know Ginger and it doesn't sound like she hangs around home NEARLY as much as I do and she has three kids! It sounds like the weather will be nice and spring/summer clothes don't take up as much room as winter ones do, so maybe my suitcase won't scream that I'm an over-packer!

Since my flight doesn't leave until the afternoon, I'm hoping that in addition to packing, I will also convince myself to leave my house in a better condition than it is now...as in, maybe I should vacuum!

I received another call about foster kids this morning. It was a 4-year-old boy and his 4-week-old brother. I am struggling with how I handled/responded to that call. The caseworker knew I was leaving town tomorrow, but thought maybe the placement could wait until I got back. I didn't sound convincing at all when I asked her to call back next week and didn't exactly give her a "yes" or "no". I got into the shower after that call and was really upset with myself. Isn't this what I wanted? The past couple of weeks, I have been amazed by God's plan for me that was completely different than anything I expected. Why should this be anything different? Yes, my little girl dreams were to have little girls of my own, but can't that happen even if my first kids are boys?! Absolutely, positively yes. And, hasn't the major "road block" to saying yes be my schedule and having time to arrange child care? This call would give me nearly a week to figure out those details. Haven't I said time and again (including yesterday!) that I think 4-year-olds are "the best"...and here's a call about a 4-year-old. So, how come I was unable to "pull the trigger" and say "yes, this sounds like the 'perfect' placement"?!

As soon as I got out of the shower, I left the caseworker a message telling her that I had thought about it a little more and it sounded like something I would want more information about. I called her back again later since I hadn't heard back. She let me know that they no longer needed placement for those boys.

However, I probably should continue to work toward making my house "kid ready". My basement is ready and the guest room should work for a number of different ages of kids, but likely not for all. I've gotten rid of maybe close to half the clutter, but my house is still way more cluttered than it should be.

Well, I have more preparing to do before getting on that plane tomorrow afternoon. I'm still thinking about getting posts ready to post while I'm on vacation because that just sounds like a fun thing to do :) The next post will be my 800th one!

Night.

Home

(Totally cheesy picture, especially since there is never room for my feet on the table...ha!)

How sweet it is. There's no place like it.
Home.

I had such a fun time on vacation (minus the runny/stuffy nose, nagging/hacking cough, and occasional sore throat), however, I'm super excited to sleep in my own bed tonight!

My first flight wasn't a whole lot of fun because the two people next to me talked the whole time (they knew each other). I'm not sure why it bothered me so much because people talk, that's what they do. However, for some reason the woman talking distracted me so much that I couldn't even focus on my reading. So, I quit reading, listened to my iPod and closed my eyes/slept. My second flight was nice and quiet :)

It was rainy and chilly when I got home. I had "big plans" of being productive when I got home and did do a little bit of laundry, but that's about it (oh, and catching up on some of the shows I have on DVR...ha!) I have in my mind some things that need to change/I need to do, but since I didn't start today like I planned, I want to write about it once I am "successful" (some of my "ideas of the day" have not turned into anything BUT that...and idea of the day!) :)

I have my last work class tomorrow. I was supposed to finish reading "the" book. I read parts of two other books instead. I guess I'll be reading in the morning...I need to at least read some of it (the other two books are MUCH better...)

Well, I think I have let my nose run long enough after my sinus rinse that I'm not going to be up half the night coughing like I was the other night. So, time to sleep.

Good night from home.

Tennessee Day Four

I slept absolutely terrible last night because of my nasty cough. It was SO annoying that I couldn't fall asleep and then I had a hard time staying asleep. I know I am lucky that I "never" get sick, but since I "never" do, I forgot how "un-fun" it is! I'm definitely ready to feel better (one of the only good things about being miles away from Ginger's new baby is that it would be absolute torture to be so close to that tiny beauty and not be able to get anywhere near her! If I'm not better in a month when I go see her...well, I'm not going to "go there" because I best be better in a couple days, not weeks! Ginger did post some pictures of Baby Cate on her blog...she is precious.

Okay, back to Day Four...it was hard to get up since I slept like crap, but I did it and rested in the car on our way to the Nashville Cathedral for Mass. It is really pretty :)

After Mass, we went to the Parthenon and walked around there for a little while. We didn't go inside since it costs money and I've been there, but it is neat.

We at lunch at Jack's Bar-B-Que before walking around downtown. Apparently, there is live music "everywhere" and sometimes "famous" people will pop in to sing a song or two (probably not on a Sunday afternoon, but we definitely had our listening ears on!)

Well, that's a pretty "picture heavy" post from someone with a point-and-shoot and no Photoshop, but that pretty much was my day in Nashville through my eyes :) (well, that and lots of tissues, cough drops, and water...oh, and an ice cream too!)

I need to get up in time to see my aunt and cousin before they leave at 7:30, so I should head to bed. (PLEASE let me have a better night sleep!) Back home tomorrow...