The Rest of the Show

Well, I figured out how to get ALL the clips uploaded to YouTube/my blog. The second clip is just over 7 minutes long, but I have quite a few lines in that one (including the "non-lines" that I forgot!) Again, it is not the greatest quality, but hopefully you can get the idea. I am not in the fifth video, but it is a pretty funny scene so I decided to post it anyway.

I did have to work today, but it was not too bad even though it was a little busier than the last time I worked (of course, I only worked six hours on Saturday and just four on Thursday, so I guess an entire shift WOULD seem busier!) The team didn't make rounds until 1:30 which REALLY stinks because I like to eat lunch BY 1:30 because there are lots of things to do once 2:00 hits. So, I ended up eating my lunch in "spurts" between taking care of things. I haven't been to the grocery store in WAY too long so keep having to buy my food. Today I DID get a salad, but not exactly a "healthy" one. Crazy thing happened...SOME HOW, I ended up with ranch dressing in my eye. Now, that may not seem crazy seeing as I WAS eating rather quickly, HOWEVER, I was wearing my glasses and not a single drop of dressing ended up on the lenses...no joke! How in the world did that happen?! (It still kind of feels weird and that was nearly 12 hours ago!)

And, of course, it wouldn't be a "new aunt post" without pictures of my nephew...





I am off until the weekend, but have some work stuff that I have to do...create and send an agenda, do five performance evaluations, and read nursing policies and procedures...I would MUCH rather start the book that the floor "book club" is going to read. Not sure if I will participate in the party/discussion, but I'm up for reading a book.

Good night.

It's a Wrap

Well, my performance was last night, and the final performance was this afternoon at two, so I suppose, as the saying goes, "It's a Wrap"... It was really fun doing something different, and pretty crazy that I first received my script three weeks ago and now the show is over!

Since you know I have "issues" with posting more than a couple pictures, again I have created a collage. My friend from Curves came to my performance, as did my parents. My grandparents and cousin came, but got locked out for a while and didn't get to see me on stage. Definitely the thought that counts, but that does stink because I know they really wanted to see it.

My (slightly edited) Bio: Amanda (Mickey-understudy-performs Saturday only)-Amanda graduated in 1998 after participating in a variety of activities from athletics to theater (including playing "Vera" in the Female Version of the Odd Couple as a Junior, and Minnie in Hello Dolly! as a Senior). After graduating in May of 2002 with her Bachelor of Science in Nursing, she decided to trade the heat for the ocean and moved to Rhode Island. Fifteen months later, she moved back to her home town to work as a pediatric nurse closer to her family. During her senior year, the school broke ground on this stage and she is looking forward to performing on the new stage. She would like to thank everyone who supported this out-of-practice-non-theater-diva in her first time on stage in over eleven years.

I was really nervous before the show, especially considering I hadn't practiced "the big scene" on stage since Tuesday! I did miss a few lines, but the other girls covered them very well! My dad told me I was the best actress on the stage, which is really sweet (he is completely impartial...ha!) I actually do think that it came together great considering how few rehearsals we had (especially us "understudies" who had even LESS rehearsal than the other actors!)

I had my mom take video of the show on her camera. It is hard to see, and hard to hear, but I am going to try and post it on here...if I can figure that out!

Last night I brought my pack and play to my sister and brother-in-law so their baby would have a place to sleep (apparently, they had been given a bassinet, but after watching the SIDS video, they did not think it would be good to use...) My sister said I could just stay the night there "if I wanted". It actually was nice not to drive the 20 minutes back home, but I didn't sleep that great (once I actually WENT to bed at 2:00...not the baby's fault...my "Chatty Cathy"ness' fault...). I left this morning around 9:15 so I could make it to church. We had dinner at their house tonight (my grandma made spaghetti--yum!)

Well, I seem to have technical difficulties with uploading the video and it is after 11:00. I have to work in the morning, so cannot stay up all night waiting for my computer to cooperate. So, I will post the clips from the play as soon as I can figure out how to do that.

(Okay, hopefully this little "sneak peek" works...it is the first 20 seconds of the show. I do have a couple lines in this clip, but it is REALLY hard to see who is talking...at least I think it is! I have it set to a "private video" but if you have troubles, I think it will work for you if you enter my email address...let me know if that does not work.)


Of course, I must end with pictures of my nephew. The one in the chair is from last night, and the other is him being held by my grandma.

Fabulous Face and Feet

Okay, so this is a crazy collage, but I did cut out a FEW of the pictures I took today! Sorry some of them are so small, but you get the idea that I just love my new little nephew :o) I spent a few hours at the hospital today and held him while my sister showered and get a short little nap. He let me know that he did not appreciate my attempts to take photos of him without his blanket on. Little does he know that once he gets home, a little crying will not stop me from getting the pictures I want...ha ha ha!

Since tomorrow marks one year since a crazy storm came through here, I decided to re-post the slide show of pictures from that day.

Tonight's performance went really well (although I forgot to put my phone on vibrate and it rang REALLY loud in the green room during the performance...oops!) I still haven't rehearsed the lines from the "big scene" since Tuesday which makes me VERY nervous, but hopefully the other girls will be willing to run them before the performance tomorrow.

I am working in the morning for "bonus", but am just going in to send a few kids home and then I will get to leave too.

Good night!

June 25, 2009

Today is the day my nephew came into the world and made me an "Aunt". What a wonderful day! Of course, it was not without "drama", although it was brought on by myself, and had nothing to do with the labor and delivery of my nephew. However, it is a story that I should reflect back on years from now, so will go ahead and share it here.

Last night, after I wrote this lovely post about having had a long day and another one planned for today, I proceeded to stay awake past midnight. Of course, no regrets since I was chatting with a good friend, but I knew as soon as I crawled into bed that it was going to be a short night, hoping work wouldn't be crazy. I definitely wasn't expecting a 4 AM text message from my sister letting me know she was on her way to the hospital!

I called the night charge nurse to give her a "heads up". At that time, I had no clue what I should do. I knew that it wouldn't work for me to go see my nephew as soon as I got OFF work because I was already going to be late to my very last play rehearsal. However, I had three really good patients yesterday (all of whom are often "emotionally needy", but I get along with them VERY well) and felt guilty about calling in sick since I had told all of them I would be back today. I also wasn't really thinking that 4AM was the cut off time for calling in sick (since never in my 5 1/2 plus years have I called in sick!). In fact, I was thinking that I had already missed the "cut off" and it was too late to make that kind of decision. The charge nurse assured me that it was my sister's first baby and it could take a while, but that it probably would work for me to leave work since there was an extra person scheduled to do chart audits. I really didn't know what to do, but at that point I was feeling the most guilty about calling in sick and decided I would just go to work and things would work out.

I texted my mom/sister on and off from 4 until I rolled myself out of bed for work at 6:00. As soon as I got out of bed, I realized that I really WAS going to go to work while my ONLY sister was having her FIRST baby. Seriously, I felt like the shi****** sister ever and just started crying. Of course, there wasn't much I could do at this point, although I tried calling my manager at 6:15 but she was not yet in the office. I tried calling my mom to see if it was really bad that I was going to work, but she didn't answer. I finally got in touch with my cousin who assured me that I was not a terrible/sh**** sister, which helped a tiny bit. By 6:30 I was on my way to Starbucks holding back tears and my sister was already 5cm dilated. My mom let me know she would call when he made his entrance.

Needless to say, I was a wreck when I got to work. I was so angry at myself for not calling in sick...but, often my priorities DO lie with my patients. However, family really SHOULD trump work...and I was feeling rather terrible about my four AM decision. While everyone assured me that it could take a while during morning report, my mom texted me that she was 6cm dilated and 100% effaced...cr**, how in the world am I going to get out of here at a decent time?!

I got to work, knowing that my heart wasn't completely there, which really only made me more frustrated. (If you have been reading my blog for long, you realize that my heart is almost ALWAYS at work...although I did take that eighteen day break back in May...ha!) I informed "my moms" of the impending birth of my nephew very soon, and that hopefully someone else would take over for me so I could leave soon after I received word.

By 9:00 I had finished my morning charting and working on getting my meds given since the text at that time was that she was pushing. Wow, that went fast, but I was told that sometimes people have to push for a long time. Trying not to freak out, but definitely started crying in my manager's office with the executive director in there...nice! (At least I know both of them very well, and they know me, and understood that I TOTALLY needed to get the heck out of there as soon as possible!)

My dad called me at 9:45 to say they were giving her "a break" but that he needed to go back to work since there were quite a few sick calls at the post office and there was mail to be delivered...darn people who want their mail! Ha!

At 10:30, my mom called to say my nephew was born at 10:19 AM. He weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. I "quickly" reported off to the nurses who were willing to change things up a little bit so I could leave, said good-bye to my patients and clocked out at 11.

I stopped by the store to get a balloon, home to "freshen up" and pack up my gift, and grabbed some fast food on the way to the hospital. I got to the hospital around 12:15 and found the most beautiful baby there with my sister and brother-in-law :o)

My dad was gone when I got there, so I don't have any pictures of "grandpa" but did get one of one of the "proud grandmas" as well as a set of "great-grandparents". I allowed my grandma to take pictures of me with the baby and, although I had her take five of them, she neglected to tell me that my hand was in front of his face (the photo on the bottom right is the best one, although she did also take the one of me in the top row).

I stayed with my sister while her husband went home to take care of a few things (apparently she tried to have him do things last night, but he figured they had more time...not so much...ha!) So, I was there for a couple hours without anyone else...and felt much less like a "crappy sister". And, although I am not a labor and delivery or postpartum nurse, it definitely was, shall I say, "interesting" to see nursing care from the other side (she did NOT deliver at "my" hospital!).

When my brother-in-law got back, and my cousin arrived, I decided to head out. I felt like I needed a nap before play practice anyway and figured I should let someone else hold him for a while.

Remember how one thing I was worried about was getting to my final play rehearsal?! Well, since I was not at work, I could go at 7 rather than arriving closer to 8. I got into my costume and never once made it on stage to rehearse. NOT ONCE! They ran the entire show with the other cast, but the understudies did not rehearse at all. No one even ran lines with me. I sat there from 7 until 10 and did NOTHING. I tried not to be upset about it...other people were angry enough for me! That being said, I would have been TICKED beyond words had I needed to stay at work all day, gone straight to rehearsal, and had to wait until tomorrow to go visit my nephew only to SIT for three hours! Oh, there would have been WORDS then (who am I kidding...they probably would have been OTHER peoples' words!) So, I have no idea how Saturday's show will go, but all I can do is my best!

I have the next three days off, so I will get to have some more nephew-bonding time...I am thinking there will be LOTS of that! And, more pictures too...hopefully I will get better at taking/editing pictures now that I have a cute little person to be in them!

Well, it has indeed been a long day. Not exactly the same kind of long day I imagined,but still long. However, I honestly believe that everything happened the way it was supposed to. I kind of ended up with the best of everything...my patients/parents knew that I cared enough about them to come to work even when my sister was having a baby; my manager/director know the same; my co-workers realized that although my priorties were a little off in their opinion, they did what they could to allow me to leave partway through the shift; I did not have to sit at the hospital WAITING for my nephew's arrival, he was all ready to be held and rocked when I got there; I got some special sister and nephew-bonding time; I have the next three days off; hopefully listening to the show is good enough rehearsal for me.

Good night.

One More Rehearsal

I can hardly believe that I only have one more rehearsal before my performance this Saturday! It seems like yesterday that I got my script...well, I suppose it REALLY has only been EIGHTEEN days! Craziness. Hopefully we actually get to rehearse the entire with "the understudies" tomorrow. Yesterday, I spent three hours at rehearsal and only went through Act I and then skipped to one of the other parts when I am on stage. Today we did the two parts of Act II when I am on stage. I think I am doing "okay", but it is hard to tell. I actually feel badly for the two girls who are understudies for the main characters because they haven't had that much rehearsal time either. I'm sure it will all come together and be fun for anyone who decides to come :o)

Today was a long day, and tomorrow will be as well. I started work at 7, then went straight to rehearsal and got home around 10:15. I didn't have time to eat dinner, so think I will have some chips and salsa and head to bed. (Last week I ate pizza 5 out of 7 days and I had chicken strips and French fries for lunch...so, what's a little chips and salsa for "dinner"...ha!)

Good night!

Miller Grace Days

Today is the second birthday of Emily's third daughter, Miller Grace. While Emily's "blog" was one of the first blogs I read when I took up "professional blog reading" (ha ha!) about two years ago, as I mentioned in this post, it was not until later that I came to know this baby girl.

Miller Grace spent five days with her family here and she brought them SO much in those days. Her life has reminded SO many people, myself included, to make the most of each day, and that a tiny little girl (or boy) can change hundreds, even thousands, of lives.

Miller Grace's family has labeled June 23-28 "Miller Grace Days". I am not sure what all they have planned, but it is definitely a good reminder that NONE of us should take any moment of any day for granted. For, one special, beautiful girl lived fully in the five days she graced this Earth, and has brought joy to all who met her while she was here and all who only know her because her family has chosen to share her with us.

So, I realize this is really cheating, but art is not my forte and after two attempts to write "Happy Birthday Miller Grace!!" in my own writing, I had to resort to good old "Word". (I also AM wearing a hot pink shirt and hot pink flip flops for this special day, but it is nearly 100 degrees outside, I mowed my lawn this morning, and have a softball game this evening, so a "self-portrait" just is not happening!) No matter what you choose to do, please join me, and them, in celebrating the life of Miller Grace these next five days.

Dad's Day

I love you dad!
Looking forward to our next "date" at the horse races,
and to the next "big game" :o)

Names Are Funny

Apparently, this was a bit of a "thinking week" for me...but at least this topic is a bit on the lighter side!

Amidst the other "swirling thoughts", apparently I began to think about names, particularly nick names and "names for short". I'm pretty sure I can come up with a few reasons why I've been thinking about this...

1. My sister was told yesterday that her baby will be born sometime in the next two weeks...she will be induced if he does not come on his own. My nephew has had "a name" since before they even knew he was a boy...although last night I dreamed that she and my brother-in-law changed it after he was born (not a chance, but still a funny dream!)
2. There is a line in the play I am doing where the two main characters are talking to boys who are new to the English language. At one point there is a really funny line about trying to explain to them how "Ollie" is a short name for "Olive", even though it is not actually "shorter".
3. This super funny story that was posted on facebook by one of my high school friends. (The "Cliffs Notes" version is that the executive assistant to a congressman went absolutely nuts when someone sent an email to her requesting a meeting with her boss and referred to her as "Liz" rather than "Elizabeth"...it is funny and many of the reader comments are also entertaining.)
   
4. I am just kind of weird and think of very random things like names when I should be doing things like cleaning my house.

I do actually think names are funny, as are some names that people choose to name their children (while I do not work in a newborn nursery, we do get our share of interesting ones...I will not list any here so as not to offend anyone who may have an idea to name their child "Maverick"...) However, my "puzzlement" that came this week was, as I wrote previously, about nick names and how some people get them, others do not, and how people feel about them.

For example, there are some girls at work named Emily, Jessica, Becky, and Colleen. More often than not, I find myself calling them "Em", "Jess", "Bec", and "Coll"...how lazy is that?! I mean, MY name is three syllables and no one seems to have too much trouble spitting them all out. I suppose my name also doesn't really lend itself to a shortened version like these ones seem to (although, I'm wondering how "Bec" and "Coll" feel about THOSE names...)

And what about those names, like the one in my play that are "shortened", but really actually the same number of syllables, so not ACTUALLY shortened? For instance, Nikki is not really "short" for Nicole, and Debra and Debbie are pretty much the same as well.

Or, why did I get a three syllable name, but my parents never gave me a short/nick name, but my sister was given a three syllable name, but ALWAYS called by a nick name?

Sometimes maybe it is kind of a "friendly" type thing where your "short name" is what your friends call you...I mean, Ginger is not any harder to say than Laurie, Erin, Sara, Lauren, Lisa...you get the idea... But, sometimes when my friend Ginger and I are having a friendly conversation (as friends do...ha!), she refers to herself as "Ging"...which to me, feels kind of like "aww, you're my 'bff' so I'm gonna call you 'Ging' because it's really sweet" instead of "wow, I'm super lazy and can't say your full name". However, those other names, like mine, don't seem to lend themselves very well to a one-syllable nick-name.

Some people are "okay" with their names for short, and probably they are ones that their parents called them as they were growing up. Obviously I have never had to name a child yet, but I'm thinking that is one of the things parents must consider (that is, if they actually give thought to names...as I mentioned, some parents apparently do not appear to.) Some people are very passionate about whether or not their child will be called the typical nickname (apparently, that woman in the above article did not take too kindly to the fact that someone would call her "Liz" just because her parents named her "Elizabeth"!) "Elizabeth" is, in fact, a long name, as is the four-syllable name that my nephew will have. My sister has decided that SHE will not call him by his shortened name, but to this point has not corrected others who have already chosen to shorten it. I suppose it is all in what you are used to...if someone attempted to call me the shortened version of my name, I would just kindly correct them, because it doesn't feel "right" since I was never called that.

Some people have names that can't really be shortened. Others end up shortened because people, like me, are lazy and make up names for them. Some people are given longer names and ALWAYS called by their given names. Others are always called by the shortened/nick name version of their given name. (Surely there are LOTS of Jennifers who have ALWAYS been Jenn or Jenny/Jennie/Jenni...ha!)

I'm wondering if one syllable names are the way to go...but, then there are those folks who name their children "John" and call them "Jack", so I guess no amount of syllables can save you from "nick names" or "names for short" :o)

And, I'm sure you could come up with all SORTS of funny names to call me after writing such a post!

But, in the words of Shakespeare "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Which, according to this helpful little link means "What matters is what something is, not what it is called." And, I think that says it perfectly.

Good night.

You Look Like One

I'm not sure where I was this week, but probably Curves since that is pretty much the only place I have been besides work, play practice, and my softball game. Anyway, a "stranger", upon learning that I was a nurse responded with "You look like a nurse." And, that definitely was NOT the first time I had heard those words, but this time it did make me stop and think (apparently, this is a week for "thinking", but not much "doing"...ha ha!). I mean, how many times has my mom heard "You look like an executive assistant", my dad "You look like a letter carrier", or my sister "You look like a bank teller"?!...probably, I'm going on a limb here and say "never"...or, very close to "never"! And yet, when I heard those words spoken to me, they some how made sense, and were also very gratifying...not only do I think I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, but other people, even those I do not even KNOW, think so too. That really is a great feeling!

Of course, my job comes with its challenges, but the rewards seem to come MUCH more often...at least they do for me. I do, however, think that I look for them, which is something I have learned to do along the way from the amazing people God has placed in my life. I seek to find the good even when it would be easy to judge, get discouraged, or become apathetic. (I'm not sure I'm quite "here", but Gitz wrote a post surrounding the quote "Too many people miss the silver lining because they are expecting gold.")

I do think this kind of connects to the post I wrote yesterday. You know you have awesome friends when they actually were able to make some sense out of that :o)

I tend to have a "here I come to save the day" kind of mentality. I rather enjoy it when I feel I am "needed". Helping people is what I do, and I think I am good at it. I think maybe this is one of the reasons I needed to mention all those friends. While some of them were hurting when we first met, it was not a "rescue mission"...and yet I was still drawn to that friendship. It could be, as one of my friends pointed out, that maybe subconsciously they knew they could find comfort if ever they needed it. Or, that I was a person whose ears were open to listening, and it was safe to share their heart with me. (At least I HOPE I am that person...that is the person I WANT to be!)
As it turns out, it was/is THEM who helped me, and continue to help me. I "needed" them and didn't even know it!

Going on "rescue missions" is fine and dandy, but often really amazing things come when you aren't actively seeking them.

I look like a nurse, and in 7 1/2 hours I need to go be one, so I should go to bed.

This quote arrived in my "inbox" today...I thought it was worth sharing.
"We cannot give what we do not have. We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful. We cannot bring love to the world if we ourselves are not loving. Our true gift to ourselves and others lies not in what we have but in who we are."
Marianne Williamson
American Activist, Author and Lecturer

And, in the spirit of Kelly's "show us where you live Friday", I will re-post the slide show from when I painted my "play room" last summer. I actually think it looks even cooler now, and recently added a neat saying under the window, above the table and chairs, that says "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." Over in that corner there is a bean bag chair, some pillows, and books (I don't think those are in the slide show.) Now I just need a kid to come over and play!

Trying to Make Sense

My mind has been working on overdrive trying to memorize my lines for the play that is coming up a week from Saturday and also trying to sort through the "Swirling Thoughts". This post could be an attempt to try to make sense of some things, but, I am hoping to just try to make ANY kind of sense...if that makes any sense at all!

For a "while", definitely even before I wrote this post about friends, I was thinking about them. I touched on them a little bit, but it was too darn late when I was writing that post to think too much. (I actually have re-read that post a couple times in "preparation" for this post and am somewhat impressed by how much it makes sense, especially considering the time of night and the anticipation of the days to come!)

There is something about my "friends" that has been perplexing to me, which is why my thoughts were "swirling" even before I wrote THAT post. Particularly in regards to my friends who came to me "by chance" (and, by "chance", I really mean in ways other than school/co-workers/neighborhood, because I KNOW there are no "accidents"!) Let me tell you, I have met the most AMAZING women here on the Internet, and in the friends who were first "moms of patients". Seriously...GREAT people who care SO much about other people, have tremendous faith, amazing perspectives on life, just REALLY good people...

And, as I soon discovered during the course of turning a strangers into a friends, MANY of them are that way despite growing up with challenges I barely could have imagined. Experiencing abuse and/or neglect. Being a victim of violence. Eating disorders. Divorce. Death of a parent. Seriously BIG deals! But, these women not only SURVIVED, but they THRIVED, and the stories they have been willing to share with me have left me speechless. And often leave me wondering...

would I have been...a survivor?

What would I have done? Who would I be? Could I be that kind? Would my heart be that open to caring about other people when my heart had been hurt SO badly? How about faith? It seems it would be a LOT harder to believe in a God when you are dealing with such terrible things... So many other questions and...

I honestly do not know the answers to these questions...and that fact makes me even more grateful that I did not have to find out the hard way...and so blessed that God chose that life for me...

These are some of the things I was discussing with my friend last week during our "heart-to-heart". I asked her how she made it through her childhood trials, and that obviously, some people do not fare NEARLY as well when faced with similar challenges. She basically said she thought some people have "it", whatever "it" is, and others do not...she likened it to a "seed" that stays with you and helps you through all that this life throws at you (at least, that's what I remember...it has been a while and my brain has been threatening to turn to mush!)

Yeah, not so sure I have that "seed"...seriously, when I was living in Rhode Island, a friend came to visit me. We walked out on all these rocks out to the ocean at sunset. We ended up taking the wrong/long way back and walked and walked and walked...I honestly was thinking that had she not been with me, I would have just plopped myself on the sand and hope for a rescue, and if no one ever came, it would be okay (I know, VERY dramatic...it probably wasn't even that bad, but I definitely wasn't feeling that "survival instinct".)

Anyway, I suppose the "perplexing" part of this for me was how in the world are all these amazing people finding their way into my life? (Okay, so maybe I know the answer to that, but I kind of asked it anyway!) Obviously, every single one of them has opened my eyes, taught me lessons, reminded me how blessed I have been...the list goes on and on.

But then, she told me that I have a "gift". A what?! Yes, I definitely stopped to listen to that explanation and thought it was the nicest thing even before I heard what "gift" she thought I had. Discernment. That's what she said. She had a great way of explaining it that made sense in the moment, but once I got home, I was like "What?!" (Thankfully before we had to end our conversation considering I was at work, she reminded me to "look it up" when I got home!)

I found all sorts of descriptions when I searched it, but think this site breaks things down into simple terms (simple is good for me!) Now, she is my friend, so I have to believe what she said, but reading these things, I am blown away that she would give me that kind of distinction (especially since I feel like I am super naive and I'm not sure that exactly fits!) These are the "traits" listed on that site that people with this "gift" typically have--perceptive, sensitive, decisive, truthful, insightful, challenging, intuitive, and discriminating...hmm... Those seem like some pretty big shoes to fill! I am not sure I necessarily "feel" the gut reaction discussed in this article, but, I would like to think I am a pretty good judge of character...although I do like to give people the "benefit of the doubt" before jumping to conclusions...and tend to believe pretty much everything I hear/read.

(And this, my friends--if you are still reading!--is why I titled this "Trying to Make Sense"...not sure how good of a job I am doing!)

I'm not so sure ANYTHING in this post is clear, but I still think that writing it has helped some. I am SO very blessed that God has chosen to bring so many wonderful people into my life. I am thankful that my eyes, ears, and heart were ready and willing to welcome them and their stories...I cannot imagine life without them...and know that I need to continue to allow God to work this way so I can continue to be blessed in this way :o)
______________________
Alright, marathon post done for now...I wasn't QUITE as shaky at rehearsal tonight, but still have work to do. Time for bed.

Good night!

Taking a Break

Or, avoiding things as is often the case when it comes to me...

Whichever it is, I definitely did not do much of anything today, especially not very much thinking...or cleaning...or organizing. Now, I DID work the past three days AND go back to work tomorrow at 7 (immediately followed by play practice that goes until 10:00). However, I definitely realize that it is a LUXURY to have an entire day to myself with NO plans and do not take that for granted. So, I definitely did nothing today in honor of all those people who WISH they had a day with nothing to do :o)

I even took a nap this afternoon which included quite the crazy dream. In it, I was unable to open my eyes (because I was so tired??). There was a knock on my door and my dad let himself in with a key because I just could not open my eyes to go answer. As he walked down the hallway, I finally got up, but still could not open my eyes. I finally was able to open them after he shook me a little bit...and then I "for real" woke up and my heart was racing. (Hmm, my original "point" of relating this detail of the day was that even though I went to bed at a decent hour, slept in, AND did nothing all day but still took a nap. However, there are lots of people who analyze their dreams...I am not sure I'd like to know what my run of crazy ones mean!)

I think my lines are coming along pretty well. Of course, I haven't found ANYONE to run them with me, so I've just been reading them to myself, hoping I will be able to catch my cues when they come. I guess I will find out at rehearsal tomorrow. There is one place that I have 25 "sentences" (with four "cues" in the middle) that is probably causing me the most trouble. It involves a conversation I am having with my husband on the telephone, but you can only hear my side of the conversation. So, I have "Who?...No...What's wrong?...You're kidding!...How should I know?...Alright. I will...Yes. Goodbye" kind of lines...

We wanted to go out for dinner for my brother-in-laws birthday that was last Tuesday. With play practice, this really was my only night off this week (besides Saturday). My dad's softball teams were supposed to have games...unless it rained. Well, it rained a tiny bit this morning, but my dad really wanted to go to dinner tonight. So, he called the people that run the city softball league and asked them to leave a message on the rain out number that that field was unplayable...how funny is that?! My dad is friends with the guy, but still, that is really funny to me that he has enough influence to be able to do that!

I do not know how people get more than four pictures on a post and I really did kind of like the picture of the food, and the silly one of me and my drink (not as silly as the self-portrait I did...maybe I should post that one too!) so I decided to make a collage. I definitely was a member of the "clean plate club" (and we had crab cakes and shrimp for appetizers). Not so sure about the drink with lime and mint that I ordered, but I did finish it ;o) My dinner was awesome! I ♥ ♥ ♥ capers :o)

So, yeah...like I said, the drink wasn't THAT good...AND, making funny faces on purpose for pictures is something I am SO not good at. But, it is actually not that bad of a self-portrait.

Well, it's only 10:00, but I'm thinking about heading to bed anyway. I'm hoping for rain tomorrow so that MY game is rained out. I'm going to have to skip it because I think play rehearsal is more important at this point, but I HATE to miss playing softball (it would do my knee some good to have time to heal another week though!) It has been raining quite a bit here which is making OTHER people sad, but I'm NOT a big fan of the heat, so this weather has been just fine with me...I actually have yet to turn on my air conditioner (it is quite humid in my house right now, but I think I will be okay to sleep...maybe I'll turn a fan on in my room tonight to make sure because being hot is NOT good sleeping weather in my opinion!)

Good night!

Swirling Thoughts

After my last post, I have been wondering what I could write about as a "follow-up" to that (believe me, I lost count of the number of times I have watched that slide show...yes, I have "issues"). Of course, if I was Ginger, I could follow it up with cute pictures of baseball babies or fun at the zoo, but, I am not...

I suppose I COULD, however, post a picture that somehow didn't make it into the slide show that showcases my, um, "photography"...ha ha! Yeah, definitely took a TV tray to my front sidewalk at dusk for this one... Yes, I know that I'm a nerd...a very big one!

I did actually have another "enlightening" conversation with a good friend yesterday. It has definitely been a week of "heart-to-hearts" that has left my brain swirling with thoughts. There are so many things that I need/want to put into words, but it is going to take me some time to write something that resembles "making sense" of anything. Of course, no promises that when that post gets written it will be "ground-breaking", but I definitely think spending some time to let it all spill out will help me a LOT!

Wow, that is SUPER vague...can you tell I am in the middle of working 36 out of 72 hours? Change is challenging for me, but I think I am pretty close to starting to make some changes...not sure if they will be anything drastic, but my head is definitely filled with lots of different thoughts. In the mean time, though, I probably should go to bed...and before that, I need to read over my lines that are still pretty far from being memorized.

Good night.

Worth the Wait?

Yes, I realize that it is 2:30 in the morning, but I have been working on my pictures from my trip for days and it is finally ready. It was "approved" by Ginger and she "requested" I post it "sooner rather than later". So, here you go! There is music, so if you are watching it from my blog, you may need to pause my other music. I am sorry that the slides with words on them go so fast...I had more than my share of "issues" putting it together and was tired of fighting my computer (not that I ACTUALLY would have known how to fix the problem!), so this is what you get. Enjoy!

**Ahh, that may have been a "teaser"...I'm not sure if my link works or not...if you want to watch it and you cannot, please let me know by either emailing or leaving a comment...darn technology!**

From Chicago Slide Show

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/cu8PlDuxrJgRIokaOSS7Rw?authkey=Gv1sRgCIm5seihx__bag&feat=directlink

Since the quotes go by WAY too fast, I decided to go ahead and "list" them here. It will also be nice for me to have them all in "one place" for future reference!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin
"I don't believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents." ~Pablo Picasso
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ~e e cummings
"Hugs are the universal medicine."
"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures." ~Kahlil Gibran
"Never go on trips with anyone you do not love." ~Ernest Hemingway
"That is the best--to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny." ~Gloria Vanderbilt
"The world would be so lonely, in sunny hours or gray. Without the gift of friendship to help us every day." ~Hilda Brett Farr
"Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence." ~Sydney Smith
"Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking forward to sharing time with them again." ~Lee Wilkinson
"Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours." ~Ludwig van Beethoven
____________
Just a couple additional quotes that didn't make it into the slide show (since I spent a good portion of the day looking up quotes, I may as well share them!)

"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."

"A laugh is a smile that bursts." ~Mary H. Waldrip

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~Bernard Meltzer

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same."
___________________________

I spent the afternoon with my sister. We went around town buying chocolate brownies from different bakeries/restaurants for her husband's birthday. I just thought that was a great gift idea that didn't actually cost a lot of money, but VERY thoughtful and special. Of course, with her gestational diabetes she was about to die looking at all those desserts, but at least I was too full from lunch to be tempted to indulge in her presence :o)

I'm not doing a very good job at memorizing my lines, although the ladies at Curves did go through the first section with me this morning which was very nice. I have a bit of work to do before tomorrow night, that's for sure!

In the mean time, well, it is getting close to 3:00 and that is definitely more other people's "bed time" than mine, so I'd better say good night for now...even though it has been morning for quite a while!
____________________
Just thought I'd give a little "shout out" to anyone who is "popping over" from Ginger's blog. Hello and welcome! I actually think Ginger did a better job of capturing the big "moments" of our trip in her posts. However, I did write a "how did this happen" post that has a few extra details (like how we "found" each other). I hope you enjoy the slide show...the pictures are only a glimpse of how much joy and laughter was experienced in those two days. What a blessing these girls are...I am so very grateful that God brought them to me.

No Pictures of That

So, after last night's post, I was beginning to wonder if the "free therapy" provided to me by this blog was actually doing the trick. Boy was I a basket case without really a good reason (well, potentially ONE reason, but you can't really blame everything on THAT!)

Thankfully, as I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, I was flooded with memories. Memories of moments that do not have pictures to accompany them. Oh what a blessing that was for me because I really was feeling like I had some "issues"!

I am actually still planning to post some more pictures from "the trip" but want to spend some time making them look nice and that has not happened yet. If I do not work tomorrow, then maybe I will do it then (I DO have lines that I still need to memorize...I only read through them once today...bad me!) Oh, and I am definitely not going to tell ANYONE in my family that there is "word on the 'net" about a "fake blog" that probably misled hundreds of thousands of people...now THAT surely would put them over the edge (although I definitely made sure everything was "legit"...I promise I did!)

So, in other "news" for the day...my aunt came over and planted more plants/flowers at my house...again, I will post pictures of MY garden once I have given my seeds enough time to grow if they are going to grow! We had lunch together and it was just a nice day (I actually had a meeting AND went to work out BEFORE all that!). Jam-packed, but nice.

My softball game was SUPER exciting tonight! We were the "visitors" so had to bat first. We scored two runs, but then they came back and scored four. A couple innings later, they scored another run, making in 2-5. We scored three runs to tie it up in the last inning before time ran out. So, we went into an extra inning. We scored FIVE runs in the extra inning and then kept them from scoring, so we won 10-5...it was SO exciting! I did get a couple hits, but also got tagged out at home and scraped up my knee sliding into third (I never did learn how to slide and was definitely out...and probably lucky all I got was a scraped up knee!) I got to play practice as soon as I could, but missed out on practicing my part on stage.

Alright, I'm not sure if I have to work tomorrow and I DEFINITELY need to shower before I go to bed after that softball game. So, good night!

87 Lines

I must agree with Ginger's words, "Holy Bananas Batman" :o) I went through and highlighted my parts for the play and yes, I do indeed have 87 lines to memorize...and I'm thinking that if they aren't at least pretty close to being memorized by Thursday, I could be "in trouble" (I had the date wrong in my last post...my performance is not until the 27th, but it is still will be here before I know it!) Tonight was the first read through/"blocking" rehearsal and it went pretty well I think. It is a very funny show, so will be better when people have their lines memorized and more fully understand the plot. Even though it could make for a busy couple of weeks, I think it will be a great experience!

I was thinking about titling this post "heart to heart" because I actually had a couple "heart to hearts" today...

I "facebook chatted" with one of my cousins for quite some time. I had talked to her prior to my trip and then let her know how things went both "family wise" with it as well as the trip itself. She may be a couple years younger, but she definitely shared some "words of wisdom" with me. One of the things she wrote in her initial message was "You've always been comfortable in your skin and with your decisions - and remained true to yourself. I am certain you carry these offline traits online...and sometimes friends happen in unlikely ways...but those connections aren't any less special" which brought tears to my eyes (and is making me cry right now re-reading them). It was exactly what I needed to hear because, for some reason, I am still struggling with various "issues" surrounding this whole thing. I actually have to keep looking at pictures to remind myself it really did happen (to be honest, that feels really weird and I have no clue what in the world is going on inside my head, but I am very thankful there are pictures!) She and I also discussed some dating/relationship type issues that I suppose I will write about another time because that could take up an entire post.

One of my aunts came over this afternoon and helped me in the yard. We filled two garbage cans with weeds and other "yard waste" so my yard looks MUCH better! She also planted some things. I think she will be coming back tomorrow so that will be great! We also had a "heart to heart" about such things as my mom, my trip, being a homeowner, dating, parent-child relationships...all sorts of things. It really was nice, and, again, something I really think I needed (man, this is the third time I have broken down into tears while typing these four paragraphs that I started writing an hour ago...not "exactly" sure what that's all about, but maybe it is a good clue to stop writing this post for tonight and go to bed!)

So, I best be heading to bed...and need to figure out how I am going to memorize my lines (guess I'm going to have to depend on my friends who actually live in the same city for that one!)

Wow, this is one crazy and scattered post, but it's where I am tonight I guess, and this blog is "all about me", so there you go...
Good night!

Mickey the Cop

Tonight, I missed the first rehearsal for the show I auditioned for and wrote about in this post. While I had a script, and was told I could be cast as an understudy, I did not find out until tonight. I will play "Mickey the Cop" and the "understudies" are going to perform in the Saturday show. So, I guess I have some lines to memorize! This is exciting, but also makes me a little nervous...it has been a LONG time since I was in a show and I wouldn't consider myself an "actress" although I did enjoy my stage time :o) (although I am certain I dealt with my share of nerves!) So, my performance will be June 20...I will keep y'all posted :o)

I almost managed to sleep through my alarm again this morning. This time it was "6:08" when I realized I didn't remember pressing the snooze button (and I DO recall having a dream that involved me driving with my eyes closed...rather unsuccessfully, surprisingly enough...yeah, I think a couple days off will be a VERY good thing!) I definitely stopped and got a coffee on the way to work...that kind of thing is NOT in the "budget" so I need to figure something out!

So, the next few weeks could be busy with rehearsals most nights from 7-10, some of those nights going straight from work...but, it should be a lot of fun. This director came to the high school in 2000 and I am the only one who was not her student. However, although I will be "the old one", I am SURE I will be learning a lot from these "theater girls" and I am rather excited about that.

Well, I am tired, so think it will be "early to bed" for me tonight!
Good night.

Just One of the Reasons...

working with kids is SO much fun...

Today was my second of three days in a row. So, I pretty much knew who my patients would be. I carefully picked out my "scrubs" for the day accordingly...Cherries (red, pink, purple, white, and green ones!) and Lady Bugs (with red pants)

When my five-year-old patient was offered her choice of dresses for the day, she decided her dress with cherries would be perfect..."coincidentally", blue is her favorite color which not only was the background color of my shirt, but also of her dress...gotta love that!

She later pointed out how soft my hair was and told me it was VERY pretty and that she liked it very much. (I definitely let my sister know about that one!)

Aww, I love kids! (Too bad I can't remember all the funny things she said today, but she kept me laughing!) My other little patient was a super cute little two-year old that I had to refrain from smothering with kisses (you know, that whole "germ" thing...ha!). She definitely made me smile too.

Still needed quite a bit of coffee to make it through the day...however, I managed to get up early enough to stop by and grab a Starbucks at the grocery store on the way to work! Not sure what I will do tomorrow, but I definitely think I should be heading to bed!

Good night.

It Came Early

Yes, that 5:30 alarm came VERY early this morning. But, I actually woke up a few minutes before it went off. And, I PROBABLY should have rolled myself out of bed at that point, but I did not. I'm am "queen" of the snooze button and usually don't get up until 6:00 even though my alarm goes off at 5:30. Since I took a shower last night, I thought maybe I could push that "roll out of bed" time until MAYBE 6:15. I only live a couple minutes from work and typically leave around 6:40 to get there before my shift starts at 7.

Well, when I opened my eyes (after dreaming about being in college and getting my schedule/books/settled into my dorm/meeting up with my friends of ALL things) my clock said 6:25...Oh yes, I most definitely bolted up out of bed and got ready VERY quickly. It was a glasses and even less make-up than normal day. I did manage to flat iron my hair a little bit even though I forgot to turn it on after I plugged it in while I was packing my lunch.

I made it to work in record time and made it through the day with the help of much coffee. It also helped that my patients kept me busy at around 2:00 when I REALLY would have felt the need for "nap time"...

We have started to gather our vacation pictures together, but I am unsure how to turn those "shared" pictures into something I can post here. However, in light of my "timing" issue today, I did find one of Ginger or Lauren's pictures of a clock that looked like fun for this post :o)

Back to work tomorrow for more fun...gotta love weekend shift differential though...I think I can do this!

Good night.

I tried...

To say that my mom was "not thrilled" about my little rendezvous last weekend could be the understatement of the year. I wasn't going to blog about it because then it really is "public knowledge" but it is what is on my mind right now and I'm hoping that if I let it all out, I will feel better...

To be fair to my mother, this is what she remembers about what can happen when you make friends with someone on the internet. Looking back, I'm sure that girl was just as "harmless" as all the people I have met this time around, but that definitely was a different "time".

I knew that my mom would not be "okay" with my decision, but also realized that I did not need to ask permission. So, I made a conscious decision to "feel out" other people's reactions to see if I indeed was making a good choice. We let almost a month pass between the first "idea" and actually booking our hotel/plane tickets. During that time, I talked to some friends I trust, and I am sure that every time I talked to Ginger a part of me was gathering details that eventually led to my thought that REALLY this was a good thing.

I definitely got quite a bit of feedback from people who could not believe my mom freaked out like this (and a number of people who tried to tell me how to tell my mom "where to go" so to speak...) Now, to be honest, that didn't really set well with me. I love that I have a great relationship with my parents. I love that they care about me. I love that we get to spend lots of time together. (My dad was 100% supportive and basically told me that, while he didn't think it would be "a mistake", if it was, then it was something I would need to learn from...)

So, I decided that I needed to tell my mom how much she hurt my feelings last week when she "attacked" me. I felt like I was being responsible by giving them details about the trip and did not think that was an appropriate way to treat me (since, really, at my age, I didn't HAVE to tell my parents anything...and, if I had a husband, then they really would have had no part of the decision)

I got myself all ready for the conversation and called to see what she was doing for dinner. Well, she was working late (as usual) and I had already eaten by the time she called me back. I let her know that I wanted to talk to her about my trip. She called me after she got home and I almost wasn't given the opportunity to speak (I could NOT have waited another day...well, I COULD have, but it probably wouldn't have been good for my health.)

And, as the title of this post says, I tried... I really did. I tried to explain myself, tried to let her know that it wasn't a "shoot from the hip" type of decision. If she had asked questions, I would have answered them. Her response basically was that even though things turned out okay, that doesn't make it "right". She didn't appreciate being the last to know, even though I pointed out that her reaction pretty much explains why. She told me she thought I was rude with all the texting I was doing when we were at my aunt and uncles (reminder that Ginger's step-mom died that week and we were in the midst of planning a trip...and, she wasn't the only one I "texted"...). Okay, so if "texting" was her big "beef" about this, than seriously, I can deal with that. (No worries, I pointed out that I did not text any more than my cousins and remained socially connected by participating in the grown-up conversations during my time there...)

Our 20 minute conversation really didn't "solve" anything. She is still upset, I still cried. She thinks it was not a good decision to go myself when there were "two of them"... She didn't appreciate the way she "found out" and thought I did a better job of explaining things to my dad, aunts, etc, but the fact is, she did NOT ask... I could not "win" and actually don't feel THAT much better about the way I left things with her...

But, I do know that I had an amazing time, had an experience that no one can ever take back from me, and there is nothing more I can think of to change the way she feels about this.

Well, my eyes are tired from crying, and I am still wondering if it is a good idea to post this. But, I suppose I have already said these things to my mom, so even if some day she finds this, it isn't anything she has not heard before. I still love her, though, and know it is much better to have a mom who worries than have a mom who does not care, or not have a mom at all.

Good night.

Not MY "green thumb"

I promise that if the seeds I planted actually grow into flowers, I will post those pictures too. However, this evening I felt inspired to take photos of the beautiful flowers that are growing at my mom and dad's. My dad and his neighbor dug out that pond a few years back and his neighbor is the one who does most of the upkeep (it is right in between both of their yards, so I guess neither of them can move!) I am not good at my "plants" but WAS told that the big orange ones are poppies (too bad the biggest one that was the most open had a missing petal...) I'm not exactly sure a collage was the best way to show my attempt at being "artsy" and using the editing features on Picasa, but I have not mastered posting more than a couple photos at once, so there you have it. Their yard has MANY more beautiful flowers and plants, but I chose to only walk about five steps from their back patio to take pictures and this is what there is...SO pretty! (I am not a big fan of peonies, so I skipped those...)

My sister let me know this morning that her plans had changed and if I wanted to get my hair colored, she could do it today. I have waited SO long to get my hair colored so was really excited! I thought maybe I would want to go lighter for the summer, but I am a big fan of "reds" and she had a "plan" if I wanted to go with violet and chocolate, so I went with that. Now, I had my dad take the first photo and I attempted to take one from the top, so I am not sure how much you can tell...it looks VERY cool in the light! Yay for having a sister who knows how to do hair...I paid for the color and then gave her $40 for her efforts (I did consult my mother to make sure that was appropriate). So, very good deal and a great new 'do!

My softball team played at 9:30 tonight...ugh, that is REALLY late! But, we won and I got two hits (out of three times at bat) I also am probably going to have quite the bruise on my left forearm because the shortstop whipped a ball home and it didn't quite make it into my glove...ouch...but at least it didn't bounce and hit my chin like everyone thought it did!

Well, since this is pretty much a post of "randomness", I figure may as well finish with a quote that found its way into my inbox today as well as the "minute meditation" that came on Friday...

"When you give of yourself something new comes in to being... the world expands, a bit of goodness is brought forth and a small miracle occurs. You must never underestimate this miracle. Too many good people think they have to become Mother Teresa or Albert Schweitzer, or even Santa Claus, and perform great acts if they are to be givers. They don't see the simple openings of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone." ~Kent Nerburn

"When you reach out and touch someone, help someone, your hands are the hands of Christ still at work on earth." (from Where Earth Meets Heaven)

Good night.