On a Personal Note...

I decided to see if I could write a post that doesn't include anything about the girls or my frustration/irritation with their mother. This will be brief ;)

Last Sunday, the girls were at a visit with their mom and I was at work, so actually got to go to Mass and sing with the choir. All during Mass, I kept catching the eye of a guy who was sitting in the pews alone. I did note that he was not wearing a ring ;)

After Mass, I could kinda tell that he was going to come talk to me, but one of the choir members starting asking me questions and we talked for a bit...while he waited for me in the pews.

We walked out together and he told me that he liked one of the songs we sang. I told him it was one of my favorites, that I'm definitely a choir singer, not a soloist, that I hadn't been able to sing as often because of my work schedule and foster kids, etc.

He asked me what I did and I said I was a pediatric nurse and where I worked. He said "well, you must know my sister then..." Yep, she definitely worked on my floor for about 5 years, but just left to work in labor and delivery. Small world?! Um, yep, I think so!

I was kind of in a hurry since I was baby-sitting my nephew while my sister got her hair done, but we talked for a little while. The next day, I texted his sister to say "fyi, your brother came to talk to me after Mass..." He had told her and both of us agreed that the conversation was "nice". He had asked her to ask me if she could give him my number...well, if he wants it, then sure ;)

He called and left a message on my voice mail Friday while I was at work. I feel bad for him because I can imagine how hard it was to work yourself up to calling someone only to get a voice mail. I texted him to let him know that I got his message, but was working the next three days and probably wouldn't get around to calling until at least Monday. His mom and sister are both nurses and his dad is a pilot for the life flight helicopter, so he understands the crazy hours...very nice :)

I decided I didn't want to make it a "big deal" at work and try to keep this part of my "personal life" out of work, but found myself alone at lunch yesterday with a co-worker I trust who knows his sister even more than I do. What she told me made me even more excited to call him and find out more about him. He is a high school athletic trainer who has run a half-marathon which is something I have thought would be cool to try (maybe...ha!) I already know a bit about his family from working with his sister and he goes to Mass, even by himself...so, I'm thinking my goal will be to get at least "two dates" out of this ;) (For any new "readers"...ha!...I'm known in these parts as the "one date wonder" because first dates are all that I've done since breaking up with my one-and-only boyfriend at the beginning of my junior year in college.)

Now, I need to take a deep breath and one day at a time instead of planning our wedding and the rest of our lives together...because that's the kind of person I am and possibly why I have not been a "two date person" in quite some time ;)

Well, there's my post that's only about me and not me that is the foster mom ;) Speaking of...maybe I should get the little one out of bed so she takes a nap for me this afternoon.

Good day.

Thankful for the Girls

This year, I am especially thankful for these girls that God brought into my life. They have taught me so much, and my life is truly changed for the better because they are in it. I am also thankful for my family who has helped me SO much in making being a foster mom to these girls possible. They are flexible and patient and understanding. They are there when all I can do is cry (or scream in frustration of "the system" and how things are).

Yesterday was particularly rough since the teen was off school and I figured the girls would spend the day with their family. I hadn't talked to their mom since Sunday, and she talked (VERY) briefly to the teen on Tuesday, her 16th birthday. Yesterday, the 24th, apparently is the day the whole family gets together to celebrate the teen's birthday, her brothers birthday, and her grandma's birthday (both of theirs are on the 24th). I heard NOTHING from the mom regarding the party plans...and the only contact the girls had with their family yesterday was when the teen called to wish her brother and her grandma happy birthday. The siblings were with the mom, and here we were at home...

I seriously cried intermittently throughout the day because I was SO sad for these girls. The little one didn't really have a clue, although she did know it was her brother's birthday and they were not at a party for him. The teen takes things all in stride and seriously amazes me with her strength (I couldn't hold myself together, but don't think she actually saw me crying.)

Instead of moping around all day (since the girls definitely were not!), I decided we would get out my Christmas decorations and "make Christmas" as the little one said. There have been (too many) years that I we didn't put up a tree and I was looking forward to doing this with them. Granted, I didn't want it to be for this reason, but we were all at home and it worked.

The teen helped me rearrange furniture in the living room so we could put up the "big tree". Then, she decorated a little tree for their room. We have another tree that will go up in the basement, but she was all decorated out.

I suppose it is fitting that my previous post was about being thankful for thorns because we definitely had to make the most of a day that wasn't the way it was "supposed" to be.

My stomach was churning just wondering if the girls would be spending Thanksgiving with their family or not. I was in the shower at 8:25 AM when the girls' mom called to say she was on her way to get them. The girls were sound asleep, but got ready in time for their 9:00 AM pick-up. She's apparently a really crappy planner/communicator, but at least they will be with their family. I'm looking forward to spending it with mine.

Happy Thanksgiving to all :)

Thankful for Thorns

This past Thursday, I attended a Thanksgiving retreat for the fourth year in a row. This facilitator called it "God Surprises Us", but did use the same basic program that was used when I attended the same retreat two years ago. However, with different people, a different facilitator, and being in a "different place", it didn't really seem like the same retreat. There was a wonderful balance between structured time together, time for sharing, and time alone to do whatever we needed to do. Last year was a lot more structured, but it worked too. I love having this blog so I can look back at where I was, what I was dealing with, and how. Looking back to the first year I attended this retreat, I recall how much I NEEDED that time away. I was just about to come upon the one year anniversary of a time at work when we lost something like fifteen of our patients in a couple of short months. That time was a much needed "break" from all that was happening at home/work. Actually, all four years were much needed "respite" from the busyness of life. This year was no exception.

The teen was at school and my sister agreed to watch the little one so I could go. My aunt went in for surgery for her breast cancer that day, so I was able to ask the group for extra prayers for that (speaking of...I haven't talked to my aunt OR sent her a card yet...bad niece!)

During our first time of quiet reflection, we were given this to ponder: "Think of a time when you experienced a happy surprise. An insight? Awareness of beauty? Discovering the depth of a friendship? Note the presence of God in the midst of these. Note whether or not you experienced gratitude. What are special blessings that you are receiving today? How does that awareness affect your life?"


I reflected on this foster parent journey I am on and how people continue to just "pop out of nowhere" exactly when I need reassurance, advice, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a reminder not to take things for granted. I have found the most amazing people online, which to most people I know "in real life" makes little-to-no sense. However, this is where I am free to write about my struggles and my frustrations, but also about the blessings of all that is happening in the world around me...even the struggles. I am able to see my growth in part because of what is "documented" here and because of those who have been walking this journey with me.

I listened to music (particularly, this album from Nicol Sponberg that I absolutely love...I listened to "You Are My God" and "He Remembers Me" a couple of times) and reflected on the trust and faith that have allowed me to see how perfect His timing is, and that He is with me every step on this journey of unknowns.

I flipped open the Bible and found Psalm 48:1--Great is the Lord and wholly to be praised in the city of our God. I then turned to Proverbs 10:22 (since my birthday is 10/22 and I'm a dork like that ;) )--It is the Lord's blessing that brings wealth, and no effort can substitute for it. Interesting...

The second session was looking at the struggles and challenges of life. We had been asked to reflect on our struggles and times when sad or difficult surprises interrupted our lives. The reflection stated, "It is one thing to be grateful for the obvious blessings in life...it is quite another thing to thank God for the hardships of life...Yet even the hardships of life can be viewed as blessings, for they often strengthen us and keep us aware of our absolute need for God."

We were then given an opportunity to share and I spoke of the blessing of the AMAZING nurse who cared for my grandfather on the day he passed away. That was an awful day, but it didn't seem quite so bad with her presence, kindness, and knowing EXACTLY what all of us needed in those moments. I also reflected on the challenges of parenting a teen and a toddler that are not "mine" while loving them as if they were. I try very hard not to stay in "struggle mode" for very long, especially since God has blessed me with people in my life who have shown me how to see the "gift of the thorn". The facilitator had someone read a story about being thankful for thorns. It is long, but I will post it at then end of this (already super long!) post :)

Above the couch where I was sitting for my reflecting was a picture that had this quote on the bottom: "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau

After lunch, I went outside to walk the Labyrinth. It was something that I was really looking forward to doing this day, even though it was pretty chilly outside (I went out there without a jacket...oops!) It is amazing to me that I have walked it four times and had completely different experiences each time.

This year, I found myself focusing on being grateful for the unknown. The facilitator was a teacher/the campus minister at my high school when I was there. Sixteen years ago, I never would have imagined my life being like this. My fourteen-year-old self most definitely saw myself married with a couple of little kids (maybe four or five ;) ) I would not have chosen some of the things He has chosen for me to see and experience, but I would have missed out on the blessings going through those experiences brought me. As I walked the labyrinth, I realized that I did not know what was around the corner on this path, or my life's path. Because I have no idea what is around the corner, I need to make sure to enjoy this time, this place. None of us really knows what tomorrow holds, but my reality is that I have NO idea how much longer these girls will be living in my home. In the mean time, we will create special memories and I will look for teachable moments and opportunities to role model. Every day, I have decisions to make regarding the girls that will affect the future and their transition back home, while at the same time, I must live in the moment and treasure the time that I have with them. It is a conflicting place to be, but I know that God is with me, and I can feel Him, especially as He continues to send the right people to my life exactly when I need them most.

It was a great time away, and I am thankful for this "tradition"...and will strive to thank Him for my thorns.

Here is the story that was shared during the retreat. This is already as super long post, but I want to remember this time...and this story :)

The Thanksgiving “Special” Bouquet

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren’t enough, her husband’s company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What’s worse, Sandra’s friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer.

“She has no idea what I’m feeling,” thought Sandra with a shudder.

Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? She wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an air bag that saved her life but took that of her child?

“Good afternoon, may I help you?” The shop clerk’s approach startled her.

“I...I need an arrangement,” stammered Sandra.

“For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving ‘Special’?” asked the shop clerk. “I’m convinced that flowers tell stories,” she continued. “Are you looking for something that conveys ‘gratitude’ this Thanksgiving?”

“Not exactly!” Sandra blurted out. “In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.”

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, “I have the perfect arrangement for you.”

Then the door’s small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, “Hi, Barbara...let me get your order.”

She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses; Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped: there were no flowers.

“Want this in a box?” asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer’s response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

“Yes, please,” Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. “You’d think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn’t be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again,” she said as she gently tapped her chest.

“Uh,” stammered Sandra, “that lady just left with, uh...she just left with no flowers!”

“Right,” said the clerk, “I cut off the flowers. That’s the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.”

“Oh, come on, you can’t tell me someone is willing to pay for that!” exclaimed Sandra.

“Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today,” explained the clerk. “She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery.”

“That same year I had lost my husband,” continued the clerk, “and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel.” 

“So what did you do?” asked Sandra.

“I learned to be thankful for thorns,” answered the clerk quietly. “I’ve always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the ‘flowers’ of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God’s comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we’re afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others.”

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. “I guess the truth is, I don’t want comfort. I’ve lost a baby and I’m angry with God.”

Just then, someone else walked in the shop.

“Hy, Phil!” shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

“My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement...twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems,” laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

“Those are for your wife?” asked Sandra incredulously. “Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?”

“No...I’m glad you asked,” Phil replied. “Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord’s graced and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from “thorny” times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific ‘problem’ and give thanks for what that problem taught us.”

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, “I highly recommend the Special.”

“I don’t know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life,” Sandra said to the clerk. “It’s all too...fresh.”

“Well,” the clerk replied carefully, “my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God’s providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don’t resent the thorns.”

Tears rolled down Sandra’s cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment.

“I’ll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please,” she managed to choke out.

“I hoped you would,” said the clerk gently. “I’ll have them ready in a minute.”

“Thank you. What do I owe you?” Sarah asked.

“Nothing; nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year’s arrangement is always on me.” The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. “I’ll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first.”

It read:

“My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the life I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant.”

Praise Him for your roses, thank him for your thorns.

~Author Unknown

Tomorrow

Tomorrow my mom's youngest sister will be undergoing surgery for her breast cancer. I bought her a card to send weeks ago, but never sent it. I have only seen her once since her diagnosis and it was only briefly. (I also still haven't written thank-yous from my birthday that was HOW many weeks ago?!) The sad thing is that I don't think I can use the girls as an excuse, because there are plenty of times I just sit around knowing there are things I should be doing...I just don't do them.

So, if you find yourself in prayer tomorrow, I would appreciate them for my aunt, her husband and kids, for my grandparents (especially since one of my mom's other sister's had breast cancer surgery three years ago), and for my mom since this whole diagnosis and helping my aunt figure out what to do has been stressful for her.

Also, tomorrow will mark the fourth year in a row I will be attending a Thanksgiving Retreat. I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it work this year, but I'm so thankful it worked out. Each year, it has brought me exactly what I needed and I have no reason to believe this year will be any different (here is a link to last year's post about it that also contains a link to the previous year).

The teen told me tonight that her friends will not be spending the night after the dance on Saturday. I was really looking forward to hosting a sleepover for her birthday celebration, but it is what it is. I'm not sure if she has other ideas about what she wants to do for her birthday, but I guess will just have to wait and see. So far, I have not heard from her mom regarding birthday OR Thanksgiving plans. I suppose I haven't heard her plans for this weekend either, so I shouldn't be surprised!

Good night.

The Perfect Dress

Yes, it would be even more perfect if you could see her smiling face WEARING it, but that isn't to be. She was SO happy when she got home from shopping last night (and then she cleaned her bathroom and the basement including vacuuming and did her laundry...seriously, this girl is super!) Her mom, aunt, and grandma took her shopping. She needed that...and I needed to see that too since it won't be long before she leaves my loving arms and goes back to theirs...that I wasn't convinced were all that super loving.

I'm so excited for her and can't wait for Saturday! Her mom texted me last night after she got home saying "I hope my daughter enjoys Saturday", so she's excited too, although apparently won't be a part of any of the day. She "sort of" asked me to provide transportation to dinner and then to the dance, but is still up-in-the-air as far as if she wants girls to stay over after the dance and if she wants to get her hair/make-up done by someone other than herself/her friends.

Well, there's the "promised" perfect dress picture. I'm wearing the same clothes I put on yesterday after my shower, so I suppose I should at LEAST put on something different before I pick up the teen from school...ha!

To See Her Smile

On Saturday afternoon, I brought the teen to the salon to get her hair cut. My sister and parents gave that to her as a birthday present, since her hair was too hard for my sister to do at home. She didn't want it too short, but decided she would go ahead and donate it since it will grow back. I wish I could show the after pictures with her smiling face, but I obviously cannot. However, know that she was grinning from ear to ear (even if it IS a little shorter than she would have liked!) After her hair cut, my sister took her to dinner and out for ice cream. She was so happy when she got home and that was exactly what I needed after a rough few days with her mom.

I need to focus on that smile, the smile that still sometimes disappears for longer than I would like, but shows up much more often than it did when she first came to live here. I love this girl, and her smile.

This afternoon, after (at least) four cancellations/postponements, her mom is taking her shopping for a dress to wear to the formal that is now merely FIVE days from now. 

I just found out that her mom will be taking her to the G00dwill and that left me with tears dripping down my face. Seriously, that's their mother-daughter outing?! She NEVER spends one-on-one time with her oldest daughter and this is how she is choosing to spend it?! Granted, I will definitely pray that the perfect dress is there, but I'm not holding my breath. This girl, this sweet girl, deserves to go to her Sophomore formal wearing something that makes her smile.

I'm glad I skipped the "family team meeting" this morning because their mom refused to admit that the only one NOT trying hard is her. I had a conversation with her on Saturday letting her know that I felt like I was the one doing all of the arranging/accommodating/communicating and she was giving nothing back. Of course, she disagreed and I had to back peddle a little bit so she wouldn't get angry with me to the point of turning her daughter against me, but I feel MUCH better after getting it off my chest (getting a massage before that conversation definitely helped...ha!) 

I'd better get back to working on a report on what's been going on with visits and communication. I found out at 6:00 this morning that my sister was sick (she texted me at 3:30, but I didn't get it until then).  There was no way she could watch the little one in her condition and I had to be at work by 7. This was the first time I had to go in "Plan B mode" and it did not go well. I ended up finding respite care at 6:50 and told work I could get there by 9. They had already figured things out and marked me down sick, but decided to keep me "on call". I probably could have gotten there by 8, but it was too late to change things back. So, I woke someone up at 6:50, paid her $40, and have been "chilling" at home without any kids all day (after completely messing things up at work).

So, it hasn't been the best few days (yesterday was super crazy busy at work and I guess the "upside" is I didn't have to go back to that!), but it makes me smile to see her smile (and her sister) :)


Update: The teen came home from the MALL with an absolutely perfect dress. It was a definite answer to prayers (yes, I did pray for her to find a "perfect" dress!) Maybe I can sneak a picture of it tomorrow to put on here (without her in it, obviously). It is really cute, above the knee black spaghetti strap dress with a purple sash. Both of us are purple fans and it is just perfect. She got some heels and just looks great (she was ALL smiles when she got home!) I am SO happy for her and am really looking forward to "experiencing" Saturday with her :) Also, I'm going to have to give her mom a "point" because she actually (finally) did what she said she would do. I think her mom said it was $70 for the shoes and dress together which is just awesome!

Text of Thanks

I know I haven't blogged in a bit, but it's been busy :)

A little background info before I share this "conversation": This morning, we were to have our "family team meeting". On Sunday, the girls' mom said she couldn't come. I found it odd that we would have a "family team meeting" without her, but was just going to "go with it". Monday, I found out that she changed it from 10:00 to 9:30 and it was confirmed by the Service Coordinator yesterday (since I wouldn't put it past her to just tell me she changed it, but it not "officially" be changed!) On the agenda was to be some pretty difficult/challenging questions for her regarding the future care of her children. I was very interested to see/hear what the plans were...and hear her answers to these questions.

She texted me this morning at 8:35 (reminder: meeting scheduled for 9:30) to say (FYI: all of her texts will be edited since she likes to use "0" for "o" and doesn't always text full words/spell correctly): "I won't be available for the family team meeting, can you text me the service coordinator's number?"

Yes, seriously canceling the meeting less than an hour before it was to begin...not a good idea in my opinion, but obviously she has had an issue with her choices in the past. I gave her the service coordinator's phone number at work, forgetting I had her cell number too. I left a message for the DHHS worker at his office as well as one for my agency worker on her cell and at the office (obviously, it was before 9:00, so none of them were at the office yet!) At 9:00, I realized I had the service coordinator's cell number and called her to let her know about the cancelation (well, I didn't know if it would be "canceled" or if we would just meet without her). She got in touch with the mom, the meeting was "postponed" until next week (on a day that I can't go...annoying!) I was able to reach my agency worker, before she left, but received a phone call from the DHHS worker in the afternoon letting me know he waited there until after 10:00 since he didn't get the message about it being canceled. He definitely was irritated and I apologized a number of times, even though I know it wasn't MY fault! Fabulous that I'm the one communicating these things, but apparently she likes me...which is good, but in the back of my mind, I'm preparing either for the other foot to drop or for her to expect something ridiculous out of me.

Okay, back to our "texts"...and the "text of thanks" that brought about the need to post this ;)

She is supposed to have visits Friday evenings, Saturdays, and Sundays, but started a job yesterday so things may change. She said we could talk today at the meeting about the plans for this weekend, especially since someone is going to take the teen shopping for her Homecoming dress on Friday afternoon.

Me: Since the meeting was canceled this morning, when can we talk about the plans for Friday (and the weekend)?
Her: Tonight will be great. I say 8:30 PM sounds good. Thank you ok.
Me: I think I may still be at choir practice at 8:30, but can let you know when I get home from that.
Her: Ok. No problem. It's cold today.
Me: Actually feels pretty awesome for November 10!
(a bit of time passes that includes me going outside in my long-sleeve shirt and jeans)
Me: Ok, you are right, it IS cold, but still better than snow!
Her: Ha ha, you have a great day. Stay warm and smile. PS You are an awesome person and I thank you for being the person you are and that is a person who goes out of their way for others. I thank you for everything you have done for my children and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thanks. (and then she did the thing that makes my stomach churn and texted "mwah" at the end...blech!)
Me: Just doing what God has called me to do :) You're welcome.
Her: Wow, that's right. He has a plan for us all and I'm thankful the girls are with you and you only.


Again, I am going to continue to protect myself and keep my guard up since she can change her tune at any time without notice. However, her gratitude appears sincere and being thanked by the mother of your foster children is probably not something that happens every day. So, I will allow those words to help fill me up and remind me that I am doing a good job...such a good job that even their mom notices how much I care about her children. I'm not so sure what to make of the "the girls are with you and you only" part of that last text, but am not going to analyze it too much (probably shouldn't analyze the words of someone who uses zeros for o's ;) )

The teen is making plans for their "homecoming"/formal dance that is on the 20th. Last night, she said that she and her friends will be going to dinner before the dance. I asked if she would just go there from a visit or just stay with me. She said probably just stay with me. I was VERY surprised that she responded with that (and will not hold her to it if she changes her mind) and it's actually kind of sad that she will get ready for this dance in my home rather than in her mom's. She turns 16 three days after that and I offered to let her have an "after-party"/slumber/birthday party. She hasn't decided yes or no, but I think that would be very fun :) She is so sweet (most of the time...teenage girls...ha! ;) ) and I love being able to share life with her during this "season".

Well, I'd better get the little one up from her nap and pick the teen up from school.

Five Months

Five months ago, these two amazing girls came to live in my house. (I wrote about "the call" here, the "first meeting" here, and the "first night" here.) I love this picture of the two girls from one of our trips downtown this summer. Good thing I like it since I think it is the only picture I have of the teen that can be posted here (it's easy to snap non-face pictures of a 3-year-old, but hard enough to get a "face" picture of the teen, let alone a non-face picture...ha!)

It wasn't meant to be an "anniversary" celebration, but last night, the girls and I went and painted pottery and then got frozen yogurt for a little "girls' night out". I had purchased a "gr0up0n" for this place that was for $30. I knew that it was pretty pricey, but thought that all of us would enjoy it and thought $30 would help. When we were on the way, I realized I had forgotten my camera and was bummed, but decided I could just take pictures on my phone. Well, I got one taken before the battery on my phone was too dead to take pictures. I was really disappointed. And then, I found out that the "gr0up0n" was only good for one person. So, I decided not to paint, the little one painted two things and the teen painted one and I still had to pay nearly $20...but they both enjoyed themselves and it was fun to watch. When we were eating our frozen yogurt, the teen "randomly" started bringing up memories from early on in their stay here, including the first night when she had to eat her sandwich with string cheese ;) I said "wow, can you believe that was five months ago?!" I had forgotten about that happening and it was fun to laugh about it again. She also reminded me of the first time she spent time with my dad...whoa...ha ha! He's a nut ;)

Five months is kind of a long time, but every day with them is an opportunity to embrace all that we have taught each other, and continue to teach each other. Every day, I can see first hand the positive changes that have taken place in all of us the past five months. I have no idea how much longer they will be with me, but I do know that wherever life takes us, these moments will always be remembered as special ones.

June 2010
Walking around downtown and taking a boat around the fountain.

July 2010
Picnic in the park.

August 2010
Trip to the sprinkler park.

September 2010
Another trip downtown to feed the ducks.

October 2010
(FOURTH) Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

November 2010
The only picture from our pottery painting.

Five very special months. From the moment I got the call about them, I knew they were "perfect", especially for my first placement. Even on the tough days I have not had any regrets and believe that I am doing what God has called me to do. I have no idea what the future lies for any of us, but know that we are forever changed for the better because of this time together.

The Longer the Better...

I was at work today and it was kind of busy, but I had a couple of messages on my cell phone I felt I needed to address. So, I called the agency caseworker to answer the questions she had (including the never-ending question of where are the teen's immunization records and why are we waiting 11 months before just starting them over again?!) Near the end of our conversation, I was "lamenting" over the fact that I have no clue how much longer the girls will be with me and the not knowing is a little bit of a challenge for me...

Her response was, "As far as I'm concerned, the longer they are with you, the better..."

"The longer they are with me the better..."

Well, that's a different perspective, but I kind of like how it sounds.

Every day they are here is an opportunity to teach each other new things, make new memories, and touch each other's hearts. Granted, each day with me is also another day separated from their family, but we are making the best of it, and are forever changed by these days.

Instead of "how much longer", I'm going to think about "the longer the better"...