It was a little tough getting out of bed early since I was up until 12:30, but I made it to work before 7 (and got the patients I had on Saturday--yay!). Luckily, I only had two patients today, because I'm not sure I could have handled myself if it was really busy. One of the kids I had isn't sick by usual standards, but there for some "intense" therapy. The mom was emotional at times, and a little bit "needy". She seems nice enough, but kind of hard to "read", so who knows what she thinks about me! The dad is "super nice", but stays overnight, so was gone all day. While I didn't try to do my job any differently, the fact that the family is "known" in the community brings a tiny voice reminding me to be on my best behavior :o)
My other patient was one that has been here a LONG time. They are far away from home, with parts of the family here and there, and it is just SO sad. My eyes filled with tears multiple times today as I watched the mom with her chronically ill child, and with her other child who is here "visiting" during the holiday vacation. How she had to make the choice to leave one child in the hospital today, so she could make special memories OUTSIDE the hospital with her other child. How she longs for home and her family to be together, but she doesn't want to go home alone. Hearing them talk about home, and what they would do if they were all there together, it was heartbreaking. Knowing their journey is far from over makes it even harder.
The child I wrote about a few weeks ago earned her "angel wings" this afternoon. Her little body just couldn't fight any more, and her parents didn't want her to suffer any longer. I couldn't bear to go to the PICU to see her (I'll plan to write about "why" in a post tomorrow I've already titled "A year ago"). I hope I will be able to attend her services. I would like to be able to say "good-bye" to her that way, rather than while hooked to a bunch of machines looking like a shadow of her funny and playful three-year-old self.
Needless to say, today was rough. I'm not counting on tomorrow to be any better emotionally. I suppose it is late, and I should sleep. Sleep definitely couldn't hurt.
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