Easter Services

Yesterday, I spent time at my aunt and uncle's house with my grandparents and other relatives. I left in time to make it to the afternoon Good Friday service at my church. In the afternoon, we have a Communion service followed by the Veneration of the Cross and it was SO awesome. I don't think I've been able to attend this service that often because when given a choice between attending Thursday's washing of the feet/Passion Mass and Good Friday services, I have often chosen Holy Thursday. Friday night, we have Stations of the Cross and the choir sings some of my favorite songs. I was really bummed to have to miss Stations because of my fantasy baseball draft (yes, it seriously was last night and lasted from 7-midnight...seriously!)

This morning, I slept in (since I was at the baseball draft until MIDNIGHT and was 30 minutes away from home!) then stopped by Carter's to use my coupons (can't let THOSE go to waste!) before going back to my aunt and uncle's house (okay, that aunt and uncle's business is driving me crazy because I'm not sure it is grammatically correct, but I can't figure out how it is supposed to be written...oh well...) My mom, sister, and nephew were there for a while too :o) I stayed for quite a while and even got to go on the Easter egg hunt with the kids (ha!) I haven't opened my eggs yet, but they did sound like they had coins in them...fun!

Although I slept in, I came home and took a short nap before getting ready for the Easter Vigil Mass. I LOVE the Easter Vigil and more often than not, have chosen to work Easter so I have Saturday off (although Mass didn't start until 8:30 this year, so I probably could have worked and THEN gone to the Vigil!) Anyway, the Vigil started at 8:30 this year because that's when it would be really dark. The entire church is dark before they spread the light from the newly lit Easter candle to the candles of everyone in the congregation (the choir has little lights because candles and sheet music is not a great idea!) We sit in the candlelight during the readings. (I found this link...we didn't do ALL of the readings, but we did I, III, V, and VII, plus the Epistle, and I think we are in year C; we sang Psalm responses in between each reading.) Before the Gospel reading, the lights all come on as we sing the Gloria and it is just AWESOME! People spent the day decorating the church, so it looked much different than it did last night. There were lilies and pastel decorations and lots of white...quite different than the darkness of the past two days. That description no way compares to experiencing it first hand, but I tried :o)

Tomorrow, I get to go to Easter MORNING Mass and I'm really excited about that too :o) Then, it's back to my aunt and uncle's house for Easter lunch. I am so thankful that I had these four days off this year in order to spend time in prayer and reflection about what this time really means. And, I definitely tried to make each moment count and not take it for granted that I COULD go to these services, and so I went, especially for those who were unable to attend, for whatever reason (I have to give a "shout out" to Gitz because I thought about her a lot this week and brought her with me in spirit :o) )

Well, I bought the Deceptively Delicious cookbook at half price books yesterday and was going to make cookies, but seeing as it is midnight, I think I should just go to bed (and bring chips, dip, and maybe some quick biscuits or something else with me to lunch).

Happy Easter!

P.S. I noticed that my site meter is getting very close to 5000 (most of those "hits" are mine since it took me a while to figure out how to make it not count me!) Even though I don't really care about "hits" and comments, if you find yourself number 5000 and want to leave a comment saying that, I might be able to come up with some sort of prize :o) If no one does the 5000, maybe I'll pick something else like 5050 or something random like 5004 or 5022...ha!
Night!

Holy Days

I finally have a night at home and feel kind of "blah". I don't feel like doing much of anything. It's been a tough week, but I am thankful that I was able to attend Holy Thursday Mass tonight. I love the solemness of the service and am looking forward to having tomorrow off as well in order to attend the Good Friday service (I'm pretty disappointed that my fantasy baseball draft is tomorrow night because I love the Stations of the Cross.) These are the holiest of days, so I will make my words brief, and end with one of my favorite Lenten songs...




If you can't get the video to work and you want to, try this link :o)

I Cleaned My Bathroom

I am now the "proud owner" of a clean bathroom (okay, so I didn't scrub the walls or the bathtub or dust...) It smells so nice in there...kind of makes me wonder why it took so long for me to do it! I also did two loads of laundry (and put SOME of it away) and unloaded the dishwasher. I tried not to freeze since it decided to snow and I opened my windows yesterday (had to shut them this morning and crank up the heat this afternoon because I was SO cold!) I watched a lot of basketball. I wore these slippers I bought that have little dusters on them around the kitchen and rubbed out all the water spots. I went to evening Mass/Stations of the Cross. I stared at my computer a lot. I played my piano. I may shred some papers before I go to bed since there are still basketball games on. I listened to music and bought some new music. For some reason, I was reminded of this song last night and have listened to it half a dozen or so times since then. I've heard it sung at weddings, but it's kind of a Lenten/Easter song as well.



I have to go with my parents' neighbors to the airport and drive a mini-van home. I am not used to driving vehicles like that and am not exactly sure about driving other people's cars, but at least the airport isn't that far away. I'm going to a fundraiser at my church tomorrow night. I was going to wear a dress, but it is very cold, so I don't know what I will do. I'm contemplating having someone do my hair and make-up, but I guess if I do my own, then I will have more money to spend on things like create your own ice cream flavor :o)

That was my day. Not QUITE as productive as it could have been, but I think I'll use the fact that half the time I was frozen to the couch wrapped in a blanket too cold to move ;o)

Good night!

Being Social

I forgot to mention that on Monday (the day I got my "trial run"), this reflection (my "Minute Meditations") was in my inbox--"Christ does not give a mission without supplying the means to accomplish it." —from Saint of the Day Um, yeah, how's THAT for timing?!

Yesterday, I went to a luncheon with my mom and some of her co-workers. Her boss and his wife were big donors for the event to honor child advocates and benefit a facility that works with child abuse victims. So, we sat at the "head table" next to the speaker and "Master of Ceremonies". The speaker actually came and introduced herself to our table before her talk. The child abuse statistics, particularly the sexual abuse statistics were tough to swallow. The speaker travels all around the country sharing her story of surviving sexual abuse. While her story was awful on so many levels, the "worst" part is that her mother died at age 88 not believing that the abuse ever occurred. Since we were at a "donor table", we got autographed copies of her book. It looks like something I should read...and from her presentation, it sounded like it could benefit everyone to know how to help victims, and protect people from becoming victims... I am glad my mom invited me to go with her because it definitely was a good talk to hear.

After the luncheon, I picked up shamrock shakes for my sister and me. It was a nice day, so I helped her get the boys bundled up and we went for a short walk. I stayed for a while and visited with them (her nephew is kind of a fuss bucket...I feel kinda bad for her to deal with that every day!) I went to Curves and then actually cooked dinner :o)

This morning, I led my last meeting as chair of the unit committee...yay! It wasn't NEARLY as stressful today knowing we had an extra hour. After two years of fighting against the clock to get stuff accomplished, our manager decided to make the meetings three hours instead of two. Gee, thanks for nothing! We probably could have gotten done in 2 hours and 15 minutes this morning, but had ordered pizza and spent a bit of extra time discussion topics that wouldn't have necessarily needed that much time. I'll still get to "stop by" the meetings to give my report from the other committee I am a member of, but won't have to stay the whole time. That will be nice (except for the slight decrease in pay since I won't have those extra meetings!)

After the meeting, I talked to my manager for a little while. Then, I went to the grocery store (with a ton of coupons from coupons com ...um, REALLY glad I know about THAT site now!) before going to the dentist. I had them give me a couple kid toothbrushes to keep on hand :o) In between my dentist and EYE appointment, I got a call from my caseworker (I KNOW!) She actually was looking for someone to do "respite care" for a baby while the foster parents go to a foster parent conference. It's for a Thursday/Friday/Saturday and of COURSE I was scheduled to work and from the looks of the schedule, it didn't look like ANYONE could switch with me! So, I told her to keep looking while I kept looking. I took a "shot in the dark" and called the nurse who was really nice to me on Monday to see if she would change Wednesday for Friday and she said yes! I called the caseworker back and said that will work! I think that will be a good way to see exactly how "ready" I am :o)

I went to the eye doctor (and had to get a new contact...boo!) Then, I had a "decision" to make. My choir practice was canceled because the school kids were doing "The Wizard of Oz". I thought that would be cute/fun since I know so many of those kids and their parents (and the music teacher was MY music teacher!) However, I also got an invitation to attend a Catholic young adult gathering at a local restaurant.

I decided I should go be social with people my own age...and so I went.

I think many of the people in this group get together regularly. I have done a couple things, but it has probably been five years (there was this guy that I think liked me and I not-so-much felt the same way, so I pretty much avoided gatherings with that group). I decided to give it a whirl because I actually had forgotten about him and wasn't exactly sure WHO would be at this gathering. I walked in with another girl who obviously was alone. I said something to that effect and sat across from her. The speaker was a "younger" Young Adult who discovered she had been called to the religious life and will begin her training later this spring. Afterwords, we had "discussion questions" for the little small groups at our tables. Awkward?! Well, a little bit, but I'm a talker and I had some things to add to the discussion. There ended up being three girls and two guys in our "group" and I guess I would call it "interesting"...because I try to be a person accepting of ALL types of people, and respect those who are not like me. [One of the guys was really nice, the other guy seemed pretty shy. One of the girls seemed a little "socially awkward" and the other seemed a little judgmental. And me, when, you know I'm "perfect"...ha ha ha!] One of the girls asked if I was on facebook...okay, no harm in becoming fb friends. I did end up talking to an OB/Gyn who just happened to be across from me and one seat over...only unfortunately in a different "group". She and I did chat for a little bit since she knows one of the pediatricians I know. As I was leaving, I ran into "the guy" and I was "friendly". He mentioned something about wanting to call me and I was like "oh, I'm pretty busy these days, but maybe I'll see you at a future event or something..." I also talked to the speaker and she asked for my email so I could come pray with her and some other women some time...

As I was driving home, I wondered why this "spiritual time" was so much of an awkward, not especially enjoyable time, even when it was a "social event". I usually enjoy going to those kinds of things alone (eg. I went to a couple Natalie Grant concerts alone and to the Selah concert alone and on Thanksgiving retreats and fund raising events...) I am feeling bad because the thought that keeps running through my mind is "you're not better than them!" as if I'm trying to convince myself, but I know that everyone is special and no one is quite like me ;o)

I stopped at my mom and dad's on the way home so my dad could mail a package for me. Also, they were baby-sitting my nephew who learned how to crawl today!! It was adorable to see him crawling, especially since he WASN'T crawling when I saw him yesterday!!

I'm sure if I had chosen to go to the musical, I would have had a GREAT time. However, I had to give this social gathering a try. I'm not sure I will be super excited about another event with them, but another day, another experience, so who knows!

After three days "off", back to work tomorrow.
Good night :o)

Trial Run

It's been a crazy couple of days, but "good timing" that my last post was "Ready...or Not" because I got a "trial run" yesterday to find out...

Backing up to after my last post, I looked ahead at the Mass readings before I went to bed (in my attempt to do more of THAT kind of reading during Lent...at the present time, I have no idea where that little book of daily Lenten reflections is, so I'm not doing THAT great!) I was, however, excited about the Gospel reading being the "Transfiguration" (we read from Luke 9:28-36) because the choir sings one of my favorite songs every year when that story is read. I tried to "G00gle" it because it is SO pretty, but had no luck with that. And, me playing it on piano doesn't give the whole effect because the refrain is sung in 5 parts and it is AWESOME! (FYI picture is of my church...I sort of messed with the colors more than I should have for someone who has no clue about that sort of thing, but the sky was still blue as the sun was setting and I thought it was cool...)

Here are the lyrics anyway (since I'm all about "music and lyrics" these days...ha!):
Refrain: We behold the splendor of God, shining on the face of Jesus. We behold the splendor of God, shining on the face of the Son.
Verse 1: And oh, how His beauty transforms us, the wonder of Presence abiding. Transparent hearts give reflection of Tabor's light within, of Tabor's light within.
Verse 2: Jesus Lord of Glory, Jesus beloved Son. Oh, how good to be with You, how good to share Your light, how good to share Your light.

Anyway, that was my Sunday morning excitement...ha! Then, I went to a first birthday party for my Godson (and watched the US-Canada Hockey game). From there, I went to my grandma's since my dad convinced her to do "family dinner" this week. I didn't stay long and left with my dad to watch his basketball team play. I DVRed the Closing Ceremonies and watched most of it before going to bed since I had to work again yesterday.

Even though I had just worked on Saturday, I didn't get my two patients back yesterday. They were super "low-maintenance" and I was pretty bored on Saturday so I guess that was okay to let a new nurse have them. However, that left me with one patient who was reported to "use the call light a lot", one patient who was described as "NEEDY!!!" (parents AND patient), and the one patient I "picked" who is a "frequent flyer" that was pretty sick and the family can be "emotionally needy" (I have a very good relationship with them and prefer being the ones to deal with them if given a choice because I know they like me and other people aren't quite as patient/kind...not to pat myself on the back or anything...just wait...ha!) Anyway, thank goodness we had an "extra" nurse and a nursing assistant for most of the day otherwise I would be in the insane asylum right now. Even still, I thought I might hurt someone if the call light was pushed one more time...I know, that it is my job to take care of people. I know that YOUR child is the only one that matters and is the absolute MOST important person...I get that, really I do, and I try my very hardest to make sure that EVERYONE is the MOST important, but sometimes you may have to wait your turn. I'm "all about" giving people the benefit of the doubt because being in a hospital with your child is not on anyone's list of things they want to do. Thank GOODNESS I did not have to go back to work today because I seriously would have had to change patients! What was REALLY nice though was that the relief charge nurse waited until I was done (at nearly 8:00!) and walked out with me. I would probably consider her "not one of my favorites", but I will definitely remember that because it wasn't necessary, but super thoughtful!

When I got to my car, I checked my voicemail while it was warming up. It was not a number I recognized, so I had no idea what it would be regarding. I had missed a call from the case worker earlier in the day letting me know we need to start my foster parent license renewal...even though I've been licensed for less than a month...ha! I was surprised to hear her voice on the the message letting me know she had a potential placement for me. I quickly called her back (as I sat in the work parking lot!) to get more details. She said she had sisters who were 3 and 5 who needed placement immediately. I was today, tomorrow, and Thursday (besides a meeting and appointments) so I thought that would be time to get the logistics of day care/school/transportation figured out. However, I wanted to check with my parents and their willingness to help with some of those things. I first talked to my dad who said older, non-medical sounded like a good place to start. He thought he would be able to help with school transportation for the older girl. I then called my mom who was in shock, but also "shockingly" supportive and pretty much said "go for it". So, I called her back and let her know that I could take them. She said she would let me know more details and also check to see if other placement had been found in the meantime. Then, I sent a "mass" text to a couple of my "near and dear" asking for prayers...especially since I was freaking out about how cluttered my house remained!

As soon as I got home (good thing I live close!), I started throwing away junk from my car and moving things around so the back seat was clear. Then, I came in the house and started clearing the clutter in the guest room, picking up some of the scattered items, responding to texts, etc. when I got another call from the caseworker. She asked if I was "freaking out", because I didn't need to...false alarm, but a good trial run for sure! (There were apparently more than two children in the family and they found a home that could take all of them which is better for the kids.) I "vowed" to pick up the living room today...make that tomorrow...yeah, I had the fire under my rear briefly, but apparently it went out quickly!

I got up this morning and sent my LAST agenda for the committee I have been leading for the past two years. That wasn't a "bittersweet" occasion, but Thursday might be a little sad (although I will have to stop by the meetings to give a report from the other committee I am on).

Then, I met with my counselor. Hard to believe that I have been meeting with her since September, but it has helped SO much! I haven't even cried during our last two sessions! She asked me if I just wanted her to be "on call", but I think that with my job and the changes I may be making my life, regular counseling is a good idea (especially with someone I really like!) So, we made an appointment for a little over a month from now, knowing that I can call if I need to see her sooner.

From there, I picked up Panera and went to visit my "favorite" charge nurse and her two-month-old baby. He was sleeping when I got there, so she and I ate and visited and she gave me a tour of her house (it is SO nice and SPOTLESS...she is not welcome in my house any time soon...ha!) When he woke up, I got to snuggle with him for a little while...so much fun :o) I really miss her, but she is SO not ready to come back to work and I don't blame her! She will be working on the weekends, so I guess I will have to consider if I want to work extra weekend shifts just so I can work with her!

I was going to visit my sister, but was kind of tired so I called and let her know that I would come tomorrow (and bring us Shamrock shakes :o) ). I did go and work out, even though I was wearing my jeans...not such a great idea, but better than not going!

I did a few things around my house, cooked dinner, then vegged out and watched TV before going to watch my dad's basketball team play (again). When I got home, I watched my DVR of the Biggest Loser and the new show Parenthood (that TOTALLY made me cry a FEW times! I didn't see the movie, so was not expecting that!)

So, yesterday was a "trial run"...and if I had ANY question (which I didn't) about how much support I have been blessed with, I do not now! Granted, the "next call" will be different, but I know that I will have well-wishes, prayers, love, and support...just like I did when I got my first call a month ago!

Well, it's nearly 1:00 and if I want to make some progress on my living room before I go to a luncheon with my mom, I'd better go to sleep. It's been pretty crazy around here, but I will say that I did appreciate the fact that I ended up being able to sleep in today :o) I'm still stocking up on sleep while I can!

Good night.

Music and Lyrics

Legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such 'n such...it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon destroy

Chorus

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well done" good and faithful one

Chorus
______________________

This song has been playing in my head the past few days (well, the first part anyway...I had to search to remember the rest of the lyrics). I am a big fan of song lyrics (and quotes!) and love when they say what I couldn't find the words to say.

Last Thursday, I found out that an elementary school classmate died suddenly. Although I hadn't seen him in probably 20 years, it is still unbelievable. When I mentioned it at choir practice last week, I was reminded that he had lost a brother to SIDS (I remember him talking about his brother...we only went to school together from maybe 3rd-5th grades) and his dad also had died at a young age. He was married in October to a girl who was three grades below me in high school. Last night, I was able to attend the visitation (since I was forced to stay home from work...a story for another day). When I was talking to his mom, telling her how sorry I was, especially since grief and loss is not new to her, she said something to the effect of "oh, but those poor people in Haiti, now that is loss, they lost everything and their entire families, I still have [and she gestured to her daughter and other members of her family]" Wow, I had no response for that. His young wife, a new widow talking to a funeral director...you aren't "supposed" to have to do that when you are 26...nor should you have to go through a homicide investigation which is protocol for someone dying suddenly at home (can you imagine?!) They both were doing amazingly well, but from what I know about grief and loss, it is the time to come that will be more challenging, when it seems others have forgotten.

Not that I expect to die any time soon (none of us do!), when things like this happen, my mind wanders to what people would say about me, what my "legacy" will be. In these past months, I have come to realize that the path I am on WILL leave a legacy...and I will live on in the hundreds of people I have touched along the way (how about we go for "thousands" since I'm planning to stick around for a few more decades!)

As I wrote in my last post, yesterday was Asher Bolte's second birthday. While his life here was short, as Ginger wrote, his tiny feet left big footprints. He definitely left a legacy, and his story has reached, and touched, hundreds of people. I took the opportunity to have some fun with all this snow that apparently is not going away and brought some food coloring outside. I ended up running out of blue, and arts and crafts are not my forte, but I had a good time. I wrote Asher's name in the snow on my unsturdy picnic table (a gigantic tree branch fell on it in the June storm of 2008...yeah, it's still in my backyard!) and stood on the wobbly top to take a picture...which is why you can see my boots (I took a couple pictures, but liked the ones with my boots!)

I can't post about "leaving a legacy" without being reminded of the Lady A song that Ginger shared with me during her visit in November. She left me to listen while she got ready for bed and came back to me bawling...it IS a good one, and I was at a place where I wasn't as confident in myself and my journey, but knew that I was doing my best to make the most of my life and the people God places in my path...and still am.

I Was Here--Lady Antebellum

You will notice me. I'll be leaving my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree, you wait and see. Maybe I'll write like Twain wrote. Maybe I'll paint like Van Gogh, cure the common cold, I don't know, but I'm ready to start

'cause I know in my heart--I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on its ear. I wanna do something better with the time I've been given, and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life, and leave nothing less than something that says "I was here".

I will prove you wrong. If you think I'm all talk, you're in for a shock, 'cause this dream's too strong, and before too long...maybe I'll compose symphonies, maybe I'll fight for world peace, 'cause I know it's my destiny to leave more than a trace of myself in thisplace.

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on its ear. I wanna do something better, with the time I've been given, and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life, and leave nothing less than something that says "I was here".

And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life. I'll leave nothing less than something that says "I was here". I was here. I was here. I was here. Wanna do something that matters something that says I was here wanna do something that matters something that says I was here, I was here.

________________________

And, since I'm trying to focus on taking time out for prayer this Lent, I found a video (Josh Groban actually...not too shabby!) and lyrics from one of my favorite "church songs". We actually sang it this past Sunday, and it is often sung at funerals, although we also sang it at my First Communion. Anyway, it is based on Psalm 91, which was the Psalm this week (the other readings were from Deuteronomy 26: 4-10, Romans 10: 8-13, and Luke 4: 1-13). I actually did spend some quiet time in reflection and prayer (and "sucked it up" and went to Confession for the first time in over ten years...the priest told me that if I did it more often, it would be easier...ha!)



On Eagle's Wings
You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand
__________________

I don't have the lyrics to this next song, but it is a song that "unites Music City for Haiti". It's pretty awesome to see Christian and Country artists sing together on a beautiful song written to help raise money for Haiti relief. (I've been following this blog since the earthquake and her stories are heartbreaking, but her last couple posts have had some hope in them...so sad that they lost a number of premature babies due to lack of basic equipment, things that we don't even think about being "optional".)

Come Together Now


When I was searching for a link, I "stumbled upon" one of the last music and lyrics I posted--

Okey doke...music and lyrics to speak what's on my mind and it STILL took me forever to put together. Today was my second day in a row of only being "kind of productive". I have two more days to get my rear in gear (my sister texted me that if I was bored I should come visit...well, I was feeling "bored", but not for lack of things to do at my house! I should go see her one of the days, that would be nice :o) ) I have no idea when/if the next call will come and I ought to be a little more prepared than what I am right now. Kelly also posted a challenge on her blog to send snail mail. I used to be really good at this, but have been slacking a big, so maybe these next two days will involve letter writing too :o)

Good night.

Words From My Inbox

Well, I got a call this morning to see if I wanted to stay home. I turned down the offer because, Hello, I haven't worked since Monday!, and I also don't have a ton of PTO. But, the calls came back around to me and I was "forced" to remain "on-call". I was glad to know that it was likely I would be called in, so if nothing else, I'd get to sleep in, and maybe get some things done before I had to go to work. I got a call at 8:10 that let me know I should get up, shower, and eat breakfast. By 8:50, I received word that I had to go to work. My first patient didn't come until nearly 11 and then I got a transfer around 1. It was a RRREEEAAALLLYYY slow day for me since neither of my patients even had an IV, but was SO slow that it was 7:30 PM and I realized I didn't evaluate my care plan goals or fill out my teaching sheets...oops! I probably was a little annoying to the moms of these kids because I kept "checking" on them since there wasn't much else to do (I gave one dose of Tylenol and that was the only med I administered all day!) It was nice being able to be a "cheerleader" for a new mom whose baby wasn't being the best "team player" in the breastfeeding game (although even she asked me to leave...I am really thankful that she spoke up to let me know that my "hovering" was not exactly helping her stress level!)

I'm off tomorrow (lots of plans though!) and back to work Sunday and Monday. I ought to spend some time with my "Lenten reading" before I fall asleep, so will leave today with the quotes that arrived in my inbox yesterday and today...I thought they were worth keeping/sharing (especially in light of the fact that I am learning to "fill my bucket" and have been doing a MUCH better job with it!).

"To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary.
Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving.
It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value.
Approval cannot be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been.
It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy.
Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it."
~Rachel Naomi Remen, MD
American Author, Storyteller and Medical Doctor

"Eventually we grow weary of seeking treasures outside ourselves and we begin to look within. There we discover that the gold we sought, we already are." - Alan Cohen

"I know what it's like. I've seen it played out a few zillion times. You're waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they'll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they'll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence.

Well, I'm here to tell you, your wait is over.

That someone, is you."
~Mike Dooley
Inspirational Author, Speaker and Friend

Good night.

Something To Work On

Well, there are a number of "somethings" for me to work on, but it's nearly 11:00, so it isn't like I have all day to write about them ;o)

I am coming off a stretch of three days off. I really think I should have made a "to-do" list. Even if it was a list of things that were not done, I would be able to see the things that WERE done (things that were not that should have been, include vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, clearing off my table/couch...) But, it is what it is...and something to work on (maybe I will make a to-do list for Saturday or the days I have off next week!)

This afternoon, I met with my Spiritual Director (I guess I can call her "my" spiritual director even though this was only my second time to meet with her for that reason!) She started to mention something about praying in silence and it was "downhill" for there and I never stopped talking long enough for there to be a moment of silence...oops! I think I need to work on quiet/silence/being still! Something to work on for Lent I guess...one of the many "somethings". I was able to do a lot of "reflecting" during our time together and am looking forward to our next meeting. (If it wasn't late and I didn't actually have to go back to work tomorrow, I would probably go into more detail, but it was really nice...getting to meet with TWO people in one week whose job it is to listen to me is pretty cool...ha!)

I sort of rushed through my Ash Wednesday reading and just skimmed through today's. Today's reflection was called "Suffering and Redemption" and based on Luke 9:22-25. Peeking at tomorrow, it is a reflection based on Matthew 9: 14-15...I need to work on setting aside time to read the verses AND the reflection (it's only "day two" and I've yet to really set aside time to read the reflections, so this will be a work in progress!)

Exciting to watch the US win more medals tonight :o)

Good night.

Let It Be Lent

Ah, yes, it is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I wanted to write a post about this and my "plans" for this Lent, but I'm not quite sure of my "plans" and if today is any indication of how things are going to go, I don't want to make any "promises" I can't keep. Last year, I had good intentions of making it an extra special season of growth and perspective on the reality of what this means. However, I found that only four of my posts were labeled "Lent", so I'm not thinking I did a very good job! I don't comment on or write much about this blog that I read, but she inspires me (actually, it was her Lenten post last year that inspired me to try and do better, maybe this year, her Ash Wednesday post will!)

Well, I have a book of daily reflections for Lent that I want to "commit" to doing daily (that shouldn't be hard, but I don't want to say I will do something and not follow through with it...I have issues with not completing things I start!) I need to at least do it the FIRST day :o) I was semi-productive today in that all of my clothes are clean, and most are put away. I also met with the director at the day care where I would likely send a foster child who is placed in my home. I went to Ash Wednesday Mass. I watched Olympic coverage :o)

I have a meeting in the morning and am not sure I am prepared, so probably should get up a little earlier to get things in order.

Hopefully there will be more than 4 Lenten posts this year!
Good night.

Entirely TOO Long!

I cannot BELIEVE that I haven't written a blog post in three days! C-RAZY (read SEE-RAY-ZEE or I guess KA-RAY-ZEE also works...ha ha!) I actually have been busy...or, staying up too late facebook chatting to fit in a blog post.

Tuesday I went in to work around 3:30 so a nurse could go to one of her son's games. It actually was really silly for me to be there since she had a nurse working with her who totally could have taken over the patients (she is new to our floor, but NOT a new nurse so she definitely could have handled things for a few hours!)

Yesterday I worked my first 12-hour shift in over a week (since I got off early on Saturday and my schedule left me with lots of days off in a row this time!) It was a quiet day which was nice except for a little harder to stay awake (yay for coffee...since Diet Coke is one of the things I gave up for Lent!) My little patient I wrote about a few weeks ago started talking. "We" were not so sure that was going to happen...apparently one of the things he said yesterday was that I was his wife :o) I'm sure it was prompted since his family is funny like that, but still cute (and very nice).

After work, well, someone decided that I was a fun person to talk to...until the wee hours of the morning...kidding, kidding, that's NOT how it went at all, right?! Anyway, there are some fun plans in the works for me that would include a spontaneous trip away from home. The "only" thing standing in the way of this is getting the days off work (that and making sure I am home in time for my sister's baby shower!). Hopefully I will find out tomorrow, but my stomach is in knots right now with anxiety because I SO want it to work out! More details to come in the coming weeks if everything comes together :o)

I had today off and spent much of the afternoon with my best friend from high school and her six-week old baby. We had sushi for lunch and went shopping (of COURSE I had to buy a few outfits for my nephew...I'm pretty much thinking he will get something new every time I see him!) It was really fun hanging out with her and she was happy to get out of the house :o)

I actually took today off since I really like our Holy Thursday service. We do a washing of the feet which is really neat. I think next year, though, I will try to get Good Friday off since the choir sings during the Stations of the Cross which is really moving/special.

Well, it took me ENTIRELY too long to figure out how to post this song. It gives me chills every time I hear it and was something that was a Holy Week Staple at my church growing up (the woman singing is a few years older than me and used to sing at my church). I could NOT figure out how to post the music from the CD after many attempts. Finally, the light bulb came on and I figured out that I could make a movie (since, I DO know how to do that!) In order to hear it, you will have to pause the music on the side (I'm not used to writing that since my "play list" is still fairly new). I actually think it turned out well with the timing of the lyrics...not perfect, but it works :o) (And, I'm not sure why this seems smaller than the other movies I have made, but hopefully it works still!)

Via Dolorosa

Good night.

Not THAT Way!

So, I may have mentioned that part of my "Lenten Deal" was to do a little more fasting/eating healthier/losing weight/whatever you want to call it. And, it was a tiny bit upsetting when I weighed myself on Monday after going weeks without my Diet Coke, candy, chocolate, snacks, you know, all the stuff that tastes REALLY good. Well, Wednesday I couldn't eat dinner because I was sick. Yesterday, I still didn't feel "quite right" and didn't feel like taking my chances with puking up anything besides bread and water/coffee. Today, well, I didn't get breakfast besides my Carnation Instant Breakfast at 7:00 and a cup of coffee around 10. And, I was SO busy that I didn't get to eat "lunch" until 5:30. Um, this is definitely NOT the fun way to "be healthy" (from what I know, throwing up and starving are not exactly "healthy" no matter how you look at it...). Now, it WOULD have made for an even better story if I had said that the 5:30 lunch/dinner was enough to tide me over until breakfast...ha ha, now THAT would have been some good will power! Anyway, I'm thinking this weekend I may may "splurge" considering I got a box of Tastefully Simple stuff in the mail on Wednesday...including salsa. Oh how much I LOVE chips and salsa...and microwave popcorn, but that didn't come in my box.

So, work was crazy busy for me. While I love ALL three of the patients I had, they were not a very good combination. All of them were busy/"needy"/sick and required lots of extra care. Usually, we try to split up those kinds of patients, but it didn't work out like that today. As busy as it was, though, my co-workers helped as much as they could. There wasn't much they could have done to help me get to lunch at a decent hour (although, come 4:30, I finally called the lead nurse and had her come give me an extra set of hands).

My manager went and talked to the mom of the patient I wrote about yesterday. That mom expressed how much of a difference she had seen in her child since transferring to our institution. They had been in another local hospital for a couple weeks and she said that within three hours, she knew they were in the right place. Apparently, it was the first time since diagnoses that caregivers actually talked to her child when they entered the room and they have seen a glimmer of hope. Today, that child even cracked a huge smile when I was in the midst of making fun of myself, signed "I love you", showed thumbs up, gave me high five, and blew a kiss...such amazing progress in a short time. It truly is the little things that can go a long way. Aesthetically, my hospital is anything but stellar, but that mom said “I would not care if your hospital was in a cardboard box, as long as I had the nursing staff and physicians...that is all we need”. Wow! And, I suppose the REAL point of this story is that my manager emailed this story to the hospital "high ups" as well as to all of the staff. Even though we KNOW we do a good job, and do not do it for validation or recognition. However, when it comes back in a way like this, it definitely helps lift your spirits. (Even though it was a slightly different situation, Kristy's post about A Servant's Heart really spoke to me.--"God calls us to serve. Not just when it is convenient, not just when someone else might notice, not for what we may get in return, but always."--it is definitely hard work at times, but the rewards are priceless, whether they are only in my heart or shared with the CNO...)

I spent all day yesterday watching basketball and have had it on ever since I got home from work tonight. Yesterday, I got 14/16 in my bracket. Today wasn't quite as good, and there are still four games in progress...still fun though :o)

Good night!

No More Suitcase

I am back at home and am happy to no longer be living out of a suitcase! I guess the nice thing about this week, though, was that I didn't actually have to PACK for a week. I stopped by my house each day (which is apparently how I ended up with four bras at their house!) and showered at home three of the days.

Yesterday, I did get a nice start on my "Clearing Clutter" plan for Lent. When I stopped by my house in the morning, I sorted through a few things before running some errands. This week I actually spent more time away from my computer than usual, so I think that means it is really possible to step away from it for a while :o)

One thing that helped with that is coming home and not bringing my computer with me (that was a pretty tough thing to do which is rather embarrassing to write!) Another thing that helped was having a kid to play games with. We played many games of Skip-Bo, Sequence, Go Fish!, King in the Corner, Speed, and a card game called "Jellies" that he taught me. We also played one game of Disney Trivia and I taught him how to do a "bridge" when shuffling cards. That kid does talk non-stop and I am afraid I wasn't nearly as attentive to him today as I was earlier in the week (I am not sure it really mattered to him, he just kept on talking!)

Another fun thing I was able to do this week is play the piano. I am not a pianist by any means, even though I took years of piano lessons. A few years ago, my parents were going to get rid of "my" piano. I pretty much flipped out, even though my house wasn't ready to become a home for a piano. My aunt took pity on me and said she would "store" it at their house until I was ready for it. I thought that I would go there and play every once in a while, but it hasn't happened, even though I found a bunch of my books at mom and dad's a month or two ago. So, I packed up some books and brought them to the house where I was baby-sitting. I found the music to a song that won me a trophy at the "Piano Olympics" when I was in middle school (I'll have to find a picture!) and it did bring back some memories. I also have an easy arrangement to "Wind Beneath My Wings" which is another "blast from the past" (and holds memories of its own considering I actually have a friend I met on the beach when we were ten!) I also can at least play most of the notes to the song that plays during my birthday movie :o) It was really relaxing to just play, even though I am not that good! I may need to make an effort to go to my aunt and uncle's house some time in the near future to play. I also should think about if it would be nice to have "my" piano here.

Well, I am really sleepy and have to go back to my "real job" tomorrow. This week was really good for me. I learned a lot (including seeing why laundry would be never ending with more than one person living in your home!) and had quite a bit of fun :o) Since the kids were older, I didn't miss out on anything I wanted to do, and they had friends over/went to friends houses a few times, so I had much more "alone time" than I would have if they were small children. I'd definitely be willing to do it again...anyone out there need a baby-sitter so they can go on vacation?! ;o) Not sure how much $ I will get, but whatever will be more than I had before I started!
_____________________
Since I am doing this "Day by Day Through Lent", I may try and post some of the suggestions each day. Wednesday's focus was Getting Ready to Clear My Clutter, Thursday's was What Am I Gaining--and Losing, yesterday's was Reach Out to Others. Today's was Be Kind to Myself with the following Scripture/Reflection:
Isaiah 58:9b-14; Luke 5:27-32 The tax collector Levi’s change of heart came about because Jesus showed him kindness and friendship. I talk to God about any changes I should make in my self care in order to do as Jesus did. I ask for God’s help in making these changes in order to be able to do God’s will.

Looking ahead, tomorrow's is Clearing My Surroundings of Clutter...that could be tough and definitely take more than one day!
____________________

Good night!

P.S. I have only watched a couple episodes of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, but tomorrow's story is about a photographer who works with the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization. She took the pictures of the Amazing Mary Grace and Mary Grace's family was involved in the story. My DVR is set and I'm excited to see God at work in this episode :o)

I'll Give It a Try

So...yesterday was Ash Wednesday , the beginning of the Lenten Season . I will be the first to admit that I haven't always thought about what this means, and often have not taken it very seriously, or at least as seriously as I should. I am going to try and make this year different. I did a little "Google" search and found some good ideas, in addition to the ones I already had, as well as a nice perspective on how to look at these forty days.

Even though it may be too late to buy this book , I like the way the introduction describes Lent-- "Most of us think of Lent as a time for giving up something. The other side of Lent is doing more, or saying yes. Lent is the Church's invitation to go forward, to move ahead, to grow in faith and devotion. The season prepares us to celebrate with greater intensity and love the death and resurrection of Jesus."

Apparently (found this information on Google...maybe not-so-much a "good Catholic", whatever that means anyway...), the Pope's message for this Lent was focused on fasting. I have definitely never been very good at that, but now that I have seen and read this, maybe it will make me more accountable (having it written down to "refer back to" probably doesn't hurt either!) There are quite a few areas in my life that need work, and what better time to do that than now?! Another reference I found, talks about "clearing your clutter"...I KNOW I need to do that!

I don't think I have written this much about "religion" in all my past posts combined! However, I needed to write this down for myself to have as a reminder of what I said I was going to be trying to do :o)

I suppose I should head to bed...this morning I DID go back to bed after the kids went to school which was nice (then, I worked out and went home to watch my DVR of The Biggest Loser before running a few errands and coming back to the house where I am baby-sitting). Two more days and then these kids get their "real parents" back...I'm not sure if they are ready or not :o)

Good night.