One of the blogs I read referred to this as an "extra day", and encouraged people do something "extra special". Well, I'm not sure I did that, but I WAS a bit more productive than I was yesterday! Leap day was really fun when I was in elementary school because there were two boys in my grade who were born on Leap Day (in 1980). We always teased them about being younger than us because they hadn't had NEARLY as many birth-days! They didn't seem to be bothered by it...haven't seen those boys in close to fourteen years...crazy!
I slept in for the first time in what seems like forever which felt great! I did go to Curves, but didn't take advantage of the "Leap Day Lunch" they had planned for any member who wanted to attend. Since this is my own journal, I will admit that I hadn't bathed since Tuesday, so really being around other people probably wasn't the greatest idea until I did that! (That sounds completely horrible, but really, I have been all alone, so don't think me not showering bothered anyone else! There are people in lots of parts of the world that bathe even less often than that... Maybe I'm doing my own little "water conservation thing"!). So, I came home, ate breakfast, drank some coffee, threw in a load of laundry, and THEN took a nice bath! I did actually "veg out" for a while, but three loads of laundry are done, and my suitcase is put away, so I wasn't completely lazy again today!
This evening, I went to 5:30 Mass followed by the Stations of the Cross . I am SO glad I went! One of the other girls from the young adult group was there too and sat with me for the stations. I have done stations many times in the past, but this time it was a REALLY special spiritual experience for me. The reflections for each station were actually different than the ones I have linked to here since I had to leave my pamphlet at church (I kind of wish I would have written some of them down!). The stations are an "interactive" reminder of how amazing it is that Jesus did this all FOR ME! He carried the Cross FOR ME, He died on the cross FOR ME. The reflections we did focused on reaching out to others who are suffering, as well as reflecting on the unconditional love God has for us. After each of the 14 stations, the phrase "We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you. Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world." or something similar is repeated. How great is that?! Anyway, it is kind of hard to explain, but I needed this today, and it was amazing, and very special.
After church, I went to the grocery store so I could make more soup tomorrow if I want. I stopped by to visit my mom for a few minutes. Then, I went and watched my dad's basketball team play (I got to keep score this time!). They won by a lot tonight, but since they played REALLY bad in their last game, they may not be in the finals on Sunday (I have to work that day, so wouldn't be able to go anyway). Now I'm at home, waiting for my sheets to be done in the dryer!
Earlier today, the "quote of the day" on my blog was something about being the hero in your own story. I was going to speak to that, but didn't really know what to say. Before I was able to copy the actual quote in order to "ponder" it some more, this one showed up in its place--"Life is a succession of moments, To live each one is to succeed."~Corita Kent; How's THAT for timing?! I was just telling some people last night at choir practice about my work. To many people, my job just sounds really depressing. And, some days it is pretty sad. However, the point I made to them was that I have been SO blessed to be around people who seize each moment, and appreciate EVERY day as a gift. Of course, not everyone is like that, but the ones who are have made a HUGE impact on me and my life. To live in the moment, to live without regrets, to appreciate even the smallest things...what a wonderful way to be! I'm not there yet, but I am learning.
Good night :o)
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Number Crunching
ZERO=>number of times I went out to eat today!! yay! (I think that's the first day in a LONG time!)
ONE=>number of "household chores" I accomplished today (ran the dishwasher...didn't put the dishes away though!)
TWO=>number of days I have before I go back to work
THREE=>number of hours I slept on the couch this afternoon (not including the time I just SAT on the couch, or LAID on the couch!)
FOUR=>number of places I entered besides home (work, grocery store, Curves, church)
FIVE or SIX=>number of times I talked to my mom either by phone or email! I love my mom!! SEVEN=>number of days in a row I have been at work (four work days, two meeting days, one memorial service)
EIGHT=>number of bills that sit on my table waiting to be paid (pay day is a week from tomorrow!)
NINE=>number of pounds I need to lose (at least!). I weighed myself this morning at Curves and it was NOT good news (any chance all that eating out is one of the reasons for that?!)
TEN=>number of hours I'm planning to be in bed tonight (at least!)
NOT SURE=>number of times I found myself close to tears for one reason or another
TOO MANY TO COUNT=>number of times I stopped to pray today for various people who are hurting; that also is the number of minutes I spent reading blogs today...often times, I prayed while I read if that makes a good difference!
That really didn't turn out the way I wanted...the main thing I was thinking about today was the fact that I have been at work the past seven days (maybe trying to make up for the six days I was on vacation!). I'm wondering, though, if it is strange that I'm not really bothered by that. Of course, I was pretty tired today after staying up late and making the decision I needed to attend the staff meeting (no one else attends staff meetings on their days off) which is why I slept most of the afternoon. I really feel like I would go to work every day (not to work 12 hour shifts of course!) if I was needed. I suppose that is the luxury of being single with no kids. I could stop doing a lot of things if it meant being able to be of assistance to someone.
The little girl on my "A team" I wrote about earlier this week had to return to the intensive care unit yesterday. She spent less than 48 hours out of that unit, but I think that time was a blessing for her family, even though home is where they want to be. I know that the time I spent with her on Tuesday afternoon was enjoyable for me! :o) She is SO adorable and it is really sad to see her not feeling well (that's why I prefer "my" kids on the general floor when they are on the road to recovery...sick kids are sad!). One of the things I am praying for is comfort for her, and for her entire family, during this time.
Interesting post...I taped the new show "quarterlife", but didn't watch it yet. I think it has a "blogging" component to it, so I'm interested to see that.
Good night!
ONE=>number of "household chores" I accomplished today (ran the dishwasher...didn't put the dishes away though!)
TWO=>number of days I have before I go back to work
THREE=>number of hours I slept on the couch this afternoon (not including the time I just SAT on the couch, or LAID on the couch!)
FOUR=>number of places I entered besides home (work, grocery store, Curves, church)
FIVE or SIX=>number of times I talked to my mom either by phone or email! I love my mom!! SEVEN=>number of days in a row I have been at work (four work days, two meeting days, one memorial service)
EIGHT=>number of bills that sit on my table waiting to be paid (pay day is a week from tomorrow!)
NINE=>number of pounds I need to lose (at least!). I weighed myself this morning at Curves and it was NOT good news (any chance all that eating out is one of the reasons for that?!)
TEN=>number of hours I'm planning to be in bed tonight (at least!)
NOT SURE=>number of times I found myself close to tears for one reason or another
TOO MANY TO COUNT=>number of times I stopped to pray today for various people who are hurting; that also is the number of minutes I spent reading blogs today...often times, I prayed while I read if that makes a good difference!
That really didn't turn out the way I wanted...the main thing I was thinking about today was the fact that I have been at work the past seven days (maybe trying to make up for the six days I was on vacation!). I'm wondering, though, if it is strange that I'm not really bothered by that. Of course, I was pretty tired today after staying up late and making the decision I needed to attend the staff meeting (no one else attends staff meetings on their days off) which is why I slept most of the afternoon. I really feel like I would go to work every day (not to work 12 hour shifts of course!) if I was needed. I suppose that is the luxury of being single with no kids. I could stop doing a lot of things if it meant being able to be of assistance to someone.
The little girl on my "A team" I wrote about earlier this week had to return to the intensive care unit yesterday. She spent less than 48 hours out of that unit, but I think that time was a blessing for her family, even though home is where they want to be. I know that the time I spent with her on Tuesday afternoon was enjoyable for me! :o) She is SO adorable and it is really sad to see her not feeling well (that's why I prefer "my" kids on the general floor when they are on the road to recovery...sick kids are sad!). One of the things I am praying for is comfort for her, and for her entire family, during this time.
Interesting post...I taped the new show "quarterlife", but didn't watch it yet. I think it has a "blogging" component to it, so I'm interested to see that.
Good night!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wow! This is nuts!
Today, my floor started with more patients than we have ever had! Thankfully, we were staffed well, so everyone only had to take three patients (I started with two and got the admission). The day actually went pretty smoothly (probably because physically we had NO BEDS to admit any more patients!). Actually, the entire hospital is pretty crazy. I heard that something like thirty patients had to stay in the ER overnight, and more had to stay in places like the recovery room and outpatient surgery areas! We had a couple of patients waiting for beds all day long. One of many GREAT reasons to not be in management! (I am WAY too emotional for that kind of work and, as I was reminded yesterday by a very perceptive person, I care WAY too much about what other people think!).
I am a little distressed about what all this craziness is doing for the patients. Things have gotten pretty overwhelming with such a census, along with a little bit of a staffing crunch, and some other issues. I am thankful that I trust my co-workers and their skills, and have tremendous respect for my manager and her willingness to "take care of business". I hope we will be able to "pick up the slack" in areas that seem to be lacking. There are things that are being overlooked or missed simply because the amount of information with so many complex patients is astronomical. I do not want to be negative, because I LOVE my job, and it is BECAUSE of that love that this time is so difficult. I CARE about these kids, I CARE about their families, I CARE about my colleagues, and I CARE about the reputation of my institution. It brings tears to my eyes thinking that people are losing faith in the system, that morale is down, that this particular snapshot is not really an accurate picture of the compassion and expertise that I know is there.
I was thinking about sleeping in tomorrow, but there is a 7:30 staff meeting. After that last paragraph, it seems I should go, if for no other reason than have a discussion about what can be done to make things better. I guess I can go back to bed after the meeting (AFTER I go work out...I have gained so much weight the past couple of weeeks that my BRAS barely fit!).
Thankful for the next three days off to relax and regroup. Good night.
I am a little distressed about what all this craziness is doing for the patients. Things have gotten pretty overwhelming with such a census, along with a little bit of a staffing crunch, and some other issues. I am thankful that I trust my co-workers and their skills, and have tremendous respect for my manager and her willingness to "take care of business". I hope we will be able to "pick up the slack" in areas that seem to be lacking. There are things that are being overlooked or missed simply because the amount of information with so many complex patients is astronomical. I do not want to be negative, because I LOVE my job, and it is BECAUSE of that love that this time is so difficult. I CARE about these kids, I CARE about their families, I CARE about my colleagues, and I CARE about the reputation of my institution. It brings tears to my eyes thinking that people are losing faith in the system, that morale is down, that this particular snapshot is not really an accurate picture of the compassion and expertise that I know is there.
I was thinking about sleeping in tomorrow, but there is a 7:30 staff meeting. After that last paragraph, it seems I should go, if for no other reason than have a discussion about what can be done to make things better. I guess I can go back to bed after the meeting (AFTER I go work out...I have gained so much weight the past couple of weeeks that my BRAS barely fit!).
Thankful for the next three days off to relax and regroup. Good night.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Brief Break
Today I was off, but it's back to work tomorrow (back to my own floor...my "selfish mission" in the PICU is complete...I'll be back there next week for more $$$!).
I made it back home safely this morning. The road crews were out all night. I wouldn't say that I slept very well on my mom and dad's couch, but I rested a little more on mine when I got home. Then, I took a nice relaxing bath before venturing out for the day. I ran some errands, and brought lunch to someone who was stuck at the hospital without a car. I was fortunate enough to find a kind person who helped me carry my large load of items down the stairs, across the street, up the elevator, and down the hall to her room. How sweet is that?! I stayed and had lunch with her, and somehow, she "tolerated" me for a couple hours so I didn't have to go home (or somewhere else!) before a meeting I had at the hospital! :o) I was scheduled to have ANOTHER meeting after that, but it was postponed, so I went to dinner with a friend. After THAT, I spent a couple hours at the girls basketball tournament my dad is running (another friend's daughter played in the first game, but my friend couldn't go, so I said I would do some extra cheering for her!). I actually left before the second game was over because I was tired, and didn't know anyone who was playing (plus, I needed to watch "The Biggest Loser"!).
So, this time, I spent my day off away from home instead of laying on my couch all day doing nothing. I guess that's okay...there are three more days off this week for me to do that! I realized today that my credit card bill was due a couple of days ago. This will be the second month in a row that I paid it late...how I did that, I do not know, but it is very annoying since I would consider myself to be a pretty responsible person, and good with my finances. Working these extra shifts (and maybe a tax refund!) will definitely help with the "cash flow", so hopefully this is the last time I make this mistake (after the first time, I was planning to call to get the late fee waived, but really, how could I do that now?!).
A little relaxing, a little busy, a brief break, but a day off nevertheless. Good night!
I made it back home safely this morning. The road crews were out all night. I wouldn't say that I slept very well on my mom and dad's couch, but I rested a little more on mine when I got home. Then, I took a nice relaxing bath before venturing out for the day. I ran some errands, and brought lunch to someone who was stuck at the hospital without a car. I was fortunate enough to find a kind person who helped me carry my large load of items down the stairs, across the street, up the elevator, and down the hall to her room. How sweet is that?! I stayed and had lunch with her, and somehow, she "tolerated" me for a couple hours so I didn't have to go home (or somewhere else!) before a meeting I had at the hospital! :o) I was scheduled to have ANOTHER meeting after that, but it was postponed, so I went to dinner with a friend. After THAT, I spent a couple hours at the girls basketball tournament my dad is running (another friend's daughter played in the first game, but my friend couldn't go, so I said I would do some extra cheering for her!). I actually left before the second game was over because I was tired, and didn't know anyone who was playing (plus, I needed to watch "The Biggest Loser"!).
So, this time, I spent my day off away from home instead of laying on my couch all day doing nothing. I guess that's okay...there are three more days off this week for me to do that! I realized today that my credit card bill was due a couple of days ago. This will be the second month in a row that I paid it late...how I did that, I do not know, but it is very annoying since I would consider myself to be a pretty responsible person, and good with my finances. Working these extra shifts (and maybe a tax refund!) will definitely help with the "cash flow", so hopefully this is the last time I make this mistake (after the first time, I was planning to call to get the late fee waived, but really, how could I do that now?!).
A little relaxing, a little busy, a brief break, but a day off nevertheless. Good night!
Monday, February 25, 2008
"A" Sleep-over
I worked my third shift in a row in the PICU. I had to tell everyone that I did it purely for selfish reasons...I wasn't "taking one for the team" or "helping out" or anything else of that nature. I did the first day for an extra $15/hr, I did the second and third days because of a special little patient. I was reminded today of a "zany" streak I had over a year ago (maybe even two!) where all (or a lot!) of my "favorite" patients had names that start with "A". My "favorite" dietician has a name that starts with "A", and one of the nurse practitioners has a name that starts with "A", my name ALSO starts with "A" (and ends with "A" and has one in the middle!). SO, "back in the day", I created my own little "A team", and it was a big joke between myself and the dietician (love her!). Well, it just so happens that THIS little patient ALSO has a name that starts with "A", and so when I was explaining this whole story about why I was working in the PICU (you know, the whole selfish, it's all about me thing!) to the dietician, she said "I guess she (the patient) is on your "A team"!" Yep, that's about right! So, I tried to tell her mom the story, but I was totally cracking up and it is almost one of those things that isn't funny to anyone else...oh well, at least it brought me a laugh, because the rest of the day was not so humorous.
I suppose when "the plan" is not altruistic in nature, things are bound to happen to "mess it up" in some form or another. I ended up being pretty busy today, but kept telling myself that I could not complain, because I brought it on myself! I transferred my two patients from yesterday off the unit, and got a post-op. Of course, I wasn't dealing with the critical care type of craziness as the rest of the nurses in the PICU, but that is what they are used to. Things like today are actually kind of what I'm used to! However, I found myself close to tears multiple times throughout the shift because of one particular situation. Luckily, I was able to hold myself together for the most part, and things appear to have turned out okay.
I planned on going out and getting dinner for someone at the hospital, but when I left work, the roads were SO bad! My mom had called and warned me that they were slick, but I was not prepared at all! I tried to make it to my dad's basketball game, which probably is half a mile or so from work. I got stuck trying to get up four or five different hills, finally coming to a stop in my parents' driveway. I walked to the game, and called the hospital to see if the person was going to starve if I didn't bring dinner. Being a very practical person, she told me no way should I go back out in that for her, but the tears immediately started flowing. I guess the anxiety and emotions of the whole day finally got to me! The roads should be better tomorrow, so maybe I can bring her lunch instead.
I decided (with my parents' help), that I would just sleep at their house tonight. I think that was a great idea! I hate driving as it is, and it was pretty stressful getting stuck on those hills of pure ice (I don't think I got that lesson in driver's ed...but not really something I'd like to practice!). So, sleeping tonight on the couch in the basement at mom and dad's. My own little "sleep-over"!
I'm tired! Good night!
I suppose when "the plan" is not altruistic in nature, things are bound to happen to "mess it up" in some form or another. I ended up being pretty busy today, but kept telling myself that I could not complain, because I brought it on myself! I transferred my two patients from yesterday off the unit, and got a post-op. Of course, I wasn't dealing with the critical care type of craziness as the rest of the nurses in the PICU, but that is what they are used to. Things like today are actually kind of what I'm used to! However, I found myself close to tears multiple times throughout the shift because of one particular situation. Luckily, I was able to hold myself together for the most part, and things appear to have turned out okay.
I planned on going out and getting dinner for someone at the hospital, but when I left work, the roads were SO bad! My mom had called and warned me that they were slick, but I was not prepared at all! I tried to make it to my dad's basketball game, which probably is half a mile or so from work. I got stuck trying to get up four or five different hills, finally coming to a stop in my parents' driveway. I walked to the game, and called the hospital to see if the person was going to starve if I didn't bring dinner. Being a very practical person, she told me no way should I go back out in that for her, but the tears immediately started flowing. I guess the anxiety and emotions of the whole day finally got to me! The roads should be better tomorrow, so maybe I can bring her lunch instead.
I decided (with my parents' help), that I would just sleep at their house tonight. I think that was a great idea! I hate driving as it is, and it was pretty stressful getting stuck on those hills of pure ice (I don't think I got that lesson in driver's ed...but not really something I'd like to practice!). So, sleeping tonight on the couch in the basement at mom and dad's. My own little "sleep-over"!
I'm tired! Good night!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Good deal!
So, I decided yesterday that I would offer to float to the PICU today, since I was there yesterday. I was PRETTY sure that I would get different patients today because of the way they needed to split the sickest patients (I am not trained on ventilators, and do not really want to learn). I also knew which patients I would most likely have. Therefore, to be quite honest, my decision was not altruistic at all. I knew exactly what I was doing...I knew exactly whose nurse I wanted to be...
and, it proved to work out nearly as well as planned. The little girl I wanted was a bit sicker than I thought she would be (um, HELLO, that's why she is in the PICU!!), so wasn't really wanting to play, and actually was a little grumpy when she was awake (could it be she just didn't want to be messed with by some nurse?!). My other little guy actually DID want to play, so we played a little bit here and there.
Because I had such a FABULOUS day, I worked yet ANOTHER deal to get to go back tomorrow and have my same patients (if all works out as I have it planned!). Tomorrow is Monday, though, which is usually quite an adventure. I'd better get some sleep.
Good night :o)
and, it proved to work out nearly as well as planned. The little girl I wanted was a bit sicker than I thought she would be (um, HELLO, that's why she is in the PICU!!), so wasn't really wanting to play, and actually was a little grumpy when she was awake (could it be she just didn't want to be messed with by some nurse?!). My other little guy actually DID want to play, so we played a little bit here and there.
Because I had such a FABULOUS day, I worked yet ANOTHER deal to get to go back tomorrow and have my same patients (if all works out as I have it planned!). Tomorrow is Monday, though, which is usually quite an adventure. I'd better get some sleep.
Good night :o)
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Wiped out!
Wow, I cannot believe how tired I am!
Isn't it funny how you sometimes need a vacation from your vacation?! My vacation ACTUALLY should have been pretty relaxing, considering we didn't have many plans. I DID have to get up pretty early four of the six days, and we did do a lot of driving (riding in the car makes me VERY sleepy!). So, I'm glad that I have that as an excuse in addition to my other thoughts of the week. I am emotionally tired from all that happened this week...I'm pretty sure I cried every day. My hormones are crazy right now, so that probably didn't help matters.
I didn't end up going to bed early last night. I stayed up watching my California cousin play basketball on the Internet (they showed the game live and the sound on my computer decided to work for a couple of hours so I could listen!). It was almost 11:30 by the time I went to sleep. 5:30 came pretty early.
I had two good patients, and a VERY nice day, in the PICU. I worked with really nice people, and offered to float there tomorrow, even if it isn't my turn. I did get a little tired toward the end of my shift, and was ready to go home (of course, I had to remind myself of the extra $15/hr that will be on my next paycheck!).
I have noticed that nearly all of the visits to my blog recently have been my own. That is funny to me, considering a couple weeks ago, I was getting quite a bit of "traffic". It is interesting to me how some people's personal journals, like mine, end up being public domain. How can one person's story end up reaching thousands of people without really trying, and others (like mine) remain private, without really trying to keep it that way? As I have said before, I would MUCH rather have no comments than one that made me cry. An unkind comment was left on the journal of a woman I know. I read this when I was on vacation. It made me cry A LOT! That is how my week started...maybe I should have took that as an indication to stay off the computer for the week, but I guess my "curiosity" (and concern/compassion/sensitivity!) overruled that (as evidenced by the fact that I cried every day of my vacation because of "issues" at home). I suppose it actually is very cool that the journal I kept in writing has been substituted with one that I type, without really making any adjustments (although I probably put more here because I type faster than I write!). That's why this is "Just Me"...Me in all my craziness, in all my boringness, in the good times, and the not-so-good times..."keeping it real".
Isn't it funny how you sometimes need a vacation from your vacation?! My vacation ACTUALLY should have been pretty relaxing, considering we didn't have many plans. I DID have to get up pretty early four of the six days, and we did do a lot of driving (riding in the car makes me VERY sleepy!). So, I'm glad that I have that as an excuse in addition to my other thoughts of the week. I am emotionally tired from all that happened this week...I'm pretty sure I cried every day. My hormones are crazy right now, so that probably didn't help matters.
I didn't end up going to bed early last night. I stayed up watching my California cousin play basketball on the Internet (they showed the game live and the sound on my computer decided to work for a couple of hours so I could listen!). It was almost 11:30 by the time I went to sleep. 5:30 came pretty early.
I had two good patients, and a VERY nice day, in the PICU. I worked with really nice people, and offered to float there tomorrow, even if it isn't my turn. I did get a little tired toward the end of my shift, and was ready to go home (of course, I had to remind myself of the extra $15/hr that will be on my next paycheck!).
I have noticed that nearly all of the visits to my blog recently have been my own. That is funny to me, considering a couple weeks ago, I was getting quite a bit of "traffic". It is interesting to me how some people's personal journals, like mine, end up being public domain. How can one person's story end up reaching thousands of people without really trying, and others (like mine) remain private, without really trying to keep it that way? As I have said before, I would MUCH rather have no comments than one that made me cry. An unkind comment was left on the journal of a woman I know. I read this when I was on vacation. It made me cry A LOT! That is how my week started...maybe I should have took that as an indication to stay off the computer for the week, but I guess my "curiosity" (and concern/compassion/sensitivity!) overruled that (as evidenced by the fact that I cried every day of my vacation because of "issues" at home). I suppose it actually is very cool that the journal I kept in writing has been substituted with one that I type, without really making any adjustments (although I probably put more here because I type faster than I write!). That's why this is "Just Me"...Me in all my craziness, in all my boringness, in the good times, and the not-so-good times..."keeping it real".
Friday, February 22, 2008
No place like HOME!
Well, I'm back at home. Vacations are nice (although, I will admit that I probably didn't enjoy the time away QUITE as much as I should have...), but there is no place like home. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed in my own house.
I was at home for nearly an hour before heading back to work. I went to a memorial service for one of the patients who passed away while I was gone. The family had gone back home, but it was a nice service (only 6 of us were there), and they had left a really nice video slide show to share. It was sad, but we also did a lot of talking about how such a short life was lived so wonderfully. My job really does help put things into perspective...every day is a gift, each child has something special to teach all of us, as does each family.
I decided that I would be up for working in the PICU tomorrow for an extra $15/hr. I'm hoping it is worth it (I'll have to remind myself that this was my CHOICE if I start to get crabby on Monday, my third day in a row!). It sure will help my bills situation, so hopefully I can pay my parents back sooner rather than later.
I need to get a good night's sleep after the craziness of this week. Even with the time change, I'm actually pretty tired right now. So, good night from home. I'll have to post a slide show of all my California pictures another night.
I was at home for nearly an hour before heading back to work. I went to a memorial service for one of the patients who passed away while I was gone. The family had gone back home, but it was a nice service (only 6 of us were there), and they had left a really nice video slide show to share. It was sad, but we also did a lot of talking about how such a short life was lived so wonderfully. My job really does help put things into perspective...every day is a gift, each child has something special to teach all of us, as does each family.
I decided that I would be up for working in the PICU tomorrow for an extra $15/hr. I'm hoping it is worth it (I'll have to remind myself that this was my CHOICE if I start to get crabby on Monday, my third day in a row!). It sure will help my bills situation, so hopefully I can pay my parents back sooner rather than later.
I need to get a good night's sleep after the craziness of this week. Even with the time change, I'm actually pretty tired right now. So, good night from home. I'll have to post a slide show of all my California pictures another night.
California Day Five
My last day in California. Today was kind of another "vegging out" day which was "a-ok" with me after the "go-go-go" of yesterday!
My aunt and grandma picked me up at my friend's house around 9:30 (she had left for work at 8, so I was just "hanging out", kind of wishing I would have brought my book or my iPod!). We went out for breakfast (AGAIN...I ate SO much food this week!). We stopped at a little mall so my grandma could buy an outfit. Then, we pretty much hung out at home. I posted about yesterday, I checked my email, caught up on all my "blogs", and made a couple phone calls.
One of my work emails made me particularly sad, and I was thinking about a lot of other things, so I sat outside by the pool with my music and just cried. (I am trying hard not to cry right now...it was pretty easy to hide earlier when I was all alone, and it was a tiny bit chilly, so I could blame the red face on the weather.) I probably will cry a lot once I get home. Things have been pretty rough at work the past six days since I was there. I'm not sure if it is good that I know so I can be prepared when I go back, or if it would have been better if I could have just taken these days away from it all. I actually think I would rather know, especially since my vacation wasn't "ruined" because of it, and I didn't damper any fun for anyone else...
Me and my uncle
Me, Grandma, and my uncle
My cousin, Grandma, and a friend
My aunt and grandma picked me up at my friend's house around 9:30 (she had left for work at 8, so I was just "hanging out", kind of wishing I would have brought my book or my iPod!). We went out for breakfast (AGAIN...I ate SO much food this week!). We stopped at a little mall so my grandma could buy an outfit. Then, we pretty much hung out at home. I posted about yesterday, I checked my email, caught up on all my "blogs", and made a couple phone calls.
One of my work emails made me particularly sad, and I was thinking about a lot of other things, so I sat outside by the pool with my music and just cried. (I am trying hard not to cry right now...it was pretty easy to hide earlier when I was all alone, and it was a tiny bit chilly, so I could blame the red face on the weather.) I probably will cry a lot once I get home. Things have been pretty rough at work the past six days since I was there. I'm not sure if it is good that I know so I can be prepared when I go back, or if it would have been better if I could have just taken these days away from it all. I actually think I would rather know, especially since my vacation wasn't "ruined" because of it, and I didn't damper any fun for anyone else...
We went out to dinner for my uncle's birthday, which was today. Again, I ate WAY too much! I REALLY need to start a diet now! We hung out after that watching TV. It is now after 11:00, and we need to be at the airport at 5:30, so time to sleep. Home tomorrow...I think I'm ready.
Me and my uncle
Me, Grandma, and my uncle
My cousin, Grandma, and a friendToday's "Quote of the Day"--Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan; I wonder what that will be. I'll have to keep my eyes and ears open!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
California Day Four
I'm posting about yesterday, on what is really "day five", since I actually went without the Internet for a day!! Yesterday was a "crazy busy", but VERY fun day!
I got up before 6:00, and my uncle dropped me off at a coffee shop on his way to work, so I could meet up with my friend. The story of how I met my friend is a VERY cool, but lengthy, so I will save it for it's own post once I get back home. Anyway, she picked me up after I finished my large latte and we were on our way! We went to her house and got ready, then began our adventures.
After facials and visiting another mall,
I got up before 6:00, and my uncle dropped me off at a coffee shop on his way to work, so I could meet up with my friend. The story of how I met my friend is a VERY cool, but lengthy, so I will save it for it's own post once I get back home. Anyway, she picked me up after I finished my large latte and we were on our way! We went to her house and got ready, then began our adventures.
We ate breakfast at "Mimi's Cafe".
After hitting the mall, and getting
a yummy tea at a place called "Cha for Tea",
we headed to Laguna Beach (where we
met for the first time nearly 18 years ago!).
It was a cloudy day, and the water
was chilly, but I'm from the middle
of the country where the current temperature
was -6 , with wind chill -26!
(I DID sort of regret having soggy and sandy
feet for the rest of the day, but when the ocean is
right there, how can you NOT put your feet in?!).
After facials and visiting another mall,we went for "happy hour". I got my favorite
Woodchuck, and we had a pizza and onion rings.
We rested for about 45 minutes, then went and saw the movie "Juno". We went back to her parents' house where she lives, and watched some TV. She had to work today, and it had been a long day, so we shut off the lights at 11:30 (no time for late night "girl talk" this trip, but we had a GREAT time!).
I actually think that was the only day this week that I didn't cry (except during the movie!). I'm not very good at this "vacation thing", I guess. My work and the people there are always on my mind and in my prayers. I admit that I can't remember a vacation that I wasn't crying for, or worrying about, "my" patients and their families. I won't pretend that this is "good", but I will not say that it is "wrong" either. My work is a HUGE part of my life. I LOVE what I do, even if it does bring tears to my eyes while I'm on vacation. If you love deeply, you hurt deeply, but that doesn't mean you stop loving...great words that are not mine, but I remember them.
One more post from California tonight. Back home tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
California Day Three
The details of today will have to wait, considering it is after midnight, and I am leaving at 6:45AM to meet up with a friend. (Updated to add...what "details" was I talking about? Looks like I was pretty "thorough!")
I mostly "hung out" again today...isn't vacation wonderful?! I got up around 9:30, then went to IHOP with my grandma and aunt. We watched a movie in the afternoon ("Gone Baby Gone"...I had seen it before, but was okay to see again). We drove 90 or so miles to watch my cousin play basketball. It actually was a pretty fun road trip (I'm not much of a "car ride" person and REALLY don't like to drive!). His team won, which was very exciting. I think he was nervous playing with his grandma (and cousin!) there, so didn't have his best game, but didn't play badly.
I took a few pictures, but will include those (and maybe some links) later. I won't have the Internet tomorrow at all...I may go through withdrawal!...so will write about "Day Four" when I get back. (Updated to add: here are the "promised" photos).
My cousin, a "random guy", and me
I mostly "hung out" again today...isn't vacation wonderful?! I got up around 9:30, then went to IHOP with my grandma and aunt. We watched a movie in the afternoon ("Gone Baby Gone"...I had seen it before, but was okay to see again). We drove 90 or so miles to watch my cousin play basketball. It actually was a pretty fun road trip (I'm not much of a "car ride" person and REALLY don't like to drive!). His team won, which was very exciting. I think he was nervous playing with his grandma (and cousin!) there, so didn't have his best game, but didn't play badly.
I took a few pictures, but will include those (and maybe some links) later. I won't have the Internet tomorrow at all...I may go through withdrawal!...so will write about "Day Four" when I get back. (Updated to add: here are the "promised" photos).
One big dog.
Another big dog.
My cousin, a "random guy", and meat my other cousin's basketball game.
Are we in the same family?!
I'm nearly 5 feet, grandma is a couple
inches shorter. He is 6'6"! Wow!
Monday, February 18, 2008
California Day Two
Today was pretty much a "hanging out" day...that's what vacations are for, right?! I slept pretty well on the futon (I kept the door closed to the room so the dogs didn't think they could come sleep with me!). I DID wake up a couple times, including about 5:30 local time, which makes sense considering that would be 7:30 home time and I got up early the past few days. I didn't get up until 8:30 or so.
We met my uncle for lunch a Olive Garden for "all-you-can-eat" salad and soup. Yummy! That was a while ago and I just started to get hungry...everyone else is watching a movie (besides my cousin who is at dinner with his basketball team).
After lunch, I sat ouside by the pool, listened to my iPod, and took a nap. It was about 60 degrees and pretty perfect, especially considering a couple weeks ago, I was dealing with THIS.
I took a couple of pictures just to show how nice of a day it was. I haven't taken any family pictures yet, but have a little time for that. I DID call work to find out about yesterday...I tried to ask questions innocently, but am not sure I succeeded. Oh well, at least I got the information that I wanted...not a "pure" vacation from, but I can't help it! I'm still having fun :o)
The view from their driveway:
The view from the restaurant parking lot:
The view from my "napping chair" (ugly toes...I know! but at least
I can wear flip-flops here!)
The view without my ugly toes:
We met my uncle for lunch a Olive Garden for "all-you-can-eat" salad and soup. Yummy! That was a while ago and I just started to get hungry...everyone else is watching a movie (besides my cousin who is at dinner with his basketball team).
After lunch, I sat ouside by the pool, listened to my iPod, and took a nap. It was about 60 degrees and pretty perfect, especially considering a couple weeks ago, I was dealing with THIS.
I took a couple of pictures just to show how nice of a day it was. I haven't taken any family pictures yet, but have a little time for that. I DID call work to find out about yesterday...I tried to ask questions innocently, but am not sure I succeeded. Oh well, at least I got the information that I wanted...not a "pure" vacation from, but I can't help it! I'm still having fun :o)
The view from their driveway:
The view from the restaurant parking lot:
The view from my "napping chair" (ugly toes...I know! but at least
I can wear flip-flops here!)
The view without my ugly toes:
Sunday, February 17, 2008
California Day One
5:00 AM came too soon, especially after working a 12-hour shift, and staying up until nearly 11:00. I also didn't sleep that great at my grandparents' house in a different bed.
With a few little "issues", Grandma and I made it on the plane and had a good flight (she didn't realize that when I asked her about "liquids" in her carry-on, I meant lotion, hair spray, face cream...she had all of them!). We got to my aunt and uncle's house a little before 10:00 (due to the time change). We had brunch with my aunt and cousins.
We left when it was snowing at home, so it was AWESOME to sit outside for a while, even if it was a tiny bit chilly in long sleeves and jeans. It had been a LONG time since it was comfortable to be outside for extended periods of time. I'm looking forward to a stretch of days like that! My aunt and uncle have a swimming pool, so I think tomorrow I will sit outside a LOT (although I'm not sure I'll be getting into a bathing suit!).
Grandma and I went to watch my uncle and his bowling team, which was fun. I am kind of tired, even though by California time, it is not really my bedtime, and I DID rest on the plane. My relatives have these HUGE dogs that I will have to take pictures of tomorrow (and then, maybe link to the post where I wrote about not being a pet person!).
Tonight, my heart is hurting for some people back at home. Unfortunately, it is very hard for me to leave my work at home. I am sad tonight, but don't really want to call work to see what really is going on (in an attempt to try and prevent EVERYONE from knowing that I can't go on vacation without thinking about work...I may call tomorrow if there is someone I know I can talk to without being "judged" for my feelings).
I'm being a bit anti-social...everyone else is still awake. So, I suppose I should stop my journaling and talk to my family. More from California tomorrow!
With a few little "issues", Grandma and I made it on the plane and had a good flight (she didn't realize that when I asked her about "liquids" in her carry-on, I meant lotion, hair spray, face cream...she had all of them!). We got to my aunt and uncle's house a little before 10:00 (due to the time change). We had brunch with my aunt and cousins.
We left when it was snowing at home, so it was AWESOME to sit outside for a while, even if it was a tiny bit chilly in long sleeves and jeans. It had been a LONG time since it was comfortable to be outside for extended periods of time. I'm looking forward to a stretch of days like that! My aunt and uncle have a swimming pool, so I think tomorrow I will sit outside a LOT (although I'm not sure I'll be getting into a bathing suit!).
Grandma and I went to watch my uncle and his bowling team, which was fun. I am kind of tired, even though by California time, it is not really my bedtime, and I DID rest on the plane. My relatives have these HUGE dogs that I will have to take pictures of tomorrow (and then, maybe link to the post where I wrote about not being a pet person!).
Tonight, my heart is hurting for some people back at home. Unfortunately, it is very hard for me to leave my work at home. I am sad tonight, but don't really want to call work to see what really is going on (in an attempt to try and prevent EVERYONE from knowing that I can't go on vacation without thinking about work...I may call tomorrow if there is someone I know I can talk to without being "judged" for my feelings).
I'm being a bit anti-social...everyone else is still awake. So, I suppose I should stop my journaling and talk to my family. More from California tomorrow!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Sharing some LOVE
So, I kind of missed posting on Valentine's Day, but it was for good reasons. I thought it fitting that this was the "Quote of the Day"....The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne
I ended up having to work yesterday, since there was an ill call (so much for the "deal" I made, but looking at the bright side, I didn't have to use any PTO...). I wasn't QUITE as crazy as I was on Wednesday, but still pretty busy. Our Pediatric ICU has been completely full with very sick kids for a long time...which makes it a little tough when the kids on my floor start requiring more intensive care, because there isn't really room for them to go...so, we have had to end up "watching" and "hoping" (and I definitely do a bit of "praying"!) that they stabilize. I had one of those kids the past two days, and they ended up being able to "fix" one of the "super-sick" kids enough to swap places with my patient. Probably not ideal, but it worked, and we have excellent nurses and adequate staffing on my floor to handle many "step-down-type" patients. :o)
Anyway, someone made Valentine's Day boxes for each of the kids. Students from a school made valentines, so all the boxes had quite a few. Then, some of the patients went around and put valentines in the boxes. There were extra valentines that nurses could sign too. I put valentine's in all of my patient's boxes, but that was pretty much it. One nurse got chocolate-covered strawberries sent to her. I didn't see any flowers yesterday, but another nurse got some on Wednesday.
I'm single ("Just Me" has a couple of meanings!), and my usual dinner partners (my parents!) were out with friends (go figure!). So, I took a chance and called a patient's mom to see if I could bring her dinner. I had a gift card from Applebee's and was planning to get myself dinner anyway. I was THRILLED that she said yes!! I stayed and visited with her until nearly 11:00. We had a very nice conversation. She is a very sweet and caring person, and I enjoy being in her presence. She has taught me so much, and could possibly be even more of an emotional person than me, with a heart of gold, so we get along great! :o) Unfortunately, her baby remains quite ill at this time.
During our "chat", I discovered, once again, that the "struggles" I disclosed in my previous post were completely unwarranted. Much like the struggle I wrote about in the post I linked to, I should have just "let it go" and realize that I was being ridiculous. I was tempted to go back and erase that part of my last entry, but decided that that was what I was feeling at the time, so I should leave it (even though I'm "over it" and hope I remember last night if those feelings try to creep back in!). It was a fabulous Valentine's Day for me, and I told her multiple times how blessed I felt that she allowed me to come spend the evening with her.
I'm almost all the way packed for my vacation. I have to work tomorrow, so I needed to get packed today. I did go work out, and did some "picking up" around my house. I actually cleaned my bathroom, and put away a few things (of course, much of the "clutter" that was in my living room, just moved to a box in my office...I'll start trying to tackle that stuff when I get back from vacation!). I went and saw 27 Dresses with a girlfriend. We were going to go to a movie yesterday, but then I had to work. Working obviously ended up being a blessing in disguise, as I had a WONDERFUL evening last night, and still was able to have fun with my friend today!
I have some cards I want to send tomorrow, so I should close this now. Back to work in the morning...I got up earlier than usual and didn't take a nap, so getting up will be challenging!
I ended up having to work yesterday, since there was an ill call (so much for the "deal" I made, but looking at the bright side, I didn't have to use any PTO...). I wasn't QUITE as crazy as I was on Wednesday, but still pretty busy. Our Pediatric ICU has been completely full with very sick kids for a long time...which makes it a little tough when the kids on my floor start requiring more intensive care, because there isn't really room for them to go...so, we have had to end up "watching" and "hoping" (and I definitely do a bit of "praying"!) that they stabilize. I had one of those kids the past two days, and they ended up being able to "fix" one of the "super-sick" kids enough to swap places with my patient. Probably not ideal, but it worked, and we have excellent nurses and adequate staffing on my floor to handle many "step-down-type" patients. :o)
Anyway, someone made Valentine's Day boxes for each of the kids. Students from a school made valentines, so all the boxes had quite a few. Then, some of the patients went around and put valentines in the boxes. There were extra valentines that nurses could sign too. I put valentine's in all of my patient's boxes, but that was pretty much it. One nurse got chocolate-covered strawberries sent to her. I didn't see any flowers yesterday, but another nurse got some on Wednesday.
I'm single ("Just Me" has a couple of meanings!), and my usual dinner partners (my parents!) were out with friends (go figure!). So, I took a chance and called a patient's mom to see if I could bring her dinner. I had a gift card from Applebee's and was planning to get myself dinner anyway. I was THRILLED that she said yes!! I stayed and visited with her until nearly 11:00. We had a very nice conversation. She is a very sweet and caring person, and I enjoy being in her presence. She has taught me so much, and could possibly be even more of an emotional person than me, with a heart of gold, so we get along great! :o) Unfortunately, her baby remains quite ill at this time.
During our "chat", I discovered, once again, that the "struggles" I disclosed in my previous post were completely unwarranted. Much like the struggle I wrote about in the post I linked to, I should have just "let it go" and realize that I was being ridiculous. I was tempted to go back and erase that part of my last entry, but decided that that was what I was feeling at the time, so I should leave it (even though I'm "over it" and hope I remember last night if those feelings try to creep back in!). It was a fabulous Valentine's Day for me, and I told her multiple times how blessed I felt that she allowed me to come spend the evening with her.
I'm almost all the way packed for my vacation. I have to work tomorrow, so I needed to get packed today. I did go work out, and did some "picking up" around my house. I actually cleaned my bathroom, and put away a few things (of course, much of the "clutter" that was in my living room, just moved to a box in my office...I'll start trying to tackle that stuff when I get back from vacation!). I went and saw 27 Dresses with a girlfriend. We were going to go to a movie yesterday, but then I had to work. Working obviously ended up being a blessing in disguise, as I had a WONDERFUL evening last night, and still was able to have fun with my friend today!
I have some cards I want to send tomorrow, so I should close this now. Back to work in the morning...I got up earlier than usual and didn't take a nap, so getting up will be challenging!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Cooperation...
makes it happen... That sounds like some kind of song from my childhood (or maybe I am just making it up!).
In any case, cooperation truly does make work less...work-like, I guess. And today, I needed every second of help I could get! For a solid hour this morning, I was so stressed out I could barely even function (that is NOT good...and I'm not proud that I couldn't handle it very well). Luckily, thankfully, I was blessed to have two AMAZING nurses working in my area and one of our TERRIFIC nursing assistants. The nurses just jumped right in when I was in "crisis mode" (even though, it wasn't a patient safety/health crisis, it still was a bit of craziness!) and basically took over, getting me everything I needed. It was AWESOME teamwork! Later in the day, I was stuck in a patient's room and my other patients decided that they needed some attention during that time, and the other nurses just went ahead and did what needed to be done.
I wish I could say that I helped them just as much, but that would not be very truthful. Unfortunately, when the end of the shift came, I was ready to go home, having caught up on everything, but they were stuck doing paperwork and tying up loose ends. I felt bad that I couldn't do anything in that moment to help considering all they had done for me. I guess that's how it happens sometimes, and some day, I will be able to "pay it forward".
Still praying for my sick little friend and her family (as well as "all the others"). MAYBE (just a tiny possibility), I will go visit tomorrow (since my plan to get tomorrow off was not successful...I'm a bit bummed out by that!). I still struggle with what my heart tells me to do, and what is actually the right thing to do. I had similar issues here . Praying for direction on this matter.
(In my next post, I write about how ridiculous my "issues" were in both instances, but decided to leave my thoughts here, seeing as they were the thoughts of the night...).
Good night...I am positive I will sleep well!
In any case, cooperation truly does make work less...work-like, I guess. And today, I needed every second of help I could get! For a solid hour this morning, I was so stressed out I could barely even function (that is NOT good...and I'm not proud that I couldn't handle it very well). Luckily, thankfully, I was blessed to have two AMAZING nurses working in my area and one of our TERRIFIC nursing assistants. The nurses just jumped right in when I was in "crisis mode" (even though, it wasn't a patient safety/health crisis, it still was a bit of craziness!) and basically took over, getting me everything I needed. It was AWESOME teamwork! Later in the day, I was stuck in a patient's room and my other patients decided that they needed some attention during that time, and the other nurses just went ahead and did what needed to be done.
I wish I could say that I helped them just as much, but that would not be very truthful. Unfortunately, when the end of the shift came, I was ready to go home, having caught up on everything, but they were stuck doing paperwork and tying up loose ends. I felt bad that I couldn't do anything in that moment to help considering all they had done for me. I guess that's how it happens sometimes, and some day, I will be able to "pay it forward".
Still praying for my sick little friend and her family (as well as "all the others"). MAYBE (just a tiny possibility), I will go visit tomorrow (since my plan to get tomorrow off was not successful...I'm a bit bummed out by that!). I still struggle with what my heart tells me to do, and what is actually the right thing to do. I had similar issues here . Praying for direction on this matter.
(In my next post, I write about how ridiculous my "issues" were in both instances, but decided to leave my thoughts here, seeing as they were the thoughts of the night...).
Good night...I am positive I will sleep well!
Monday, February 11, 2008
February Fun
I decided to create a slide show of some of the activities from this weekend to show that sometimes I DO get out of the house and socialize with other people!
I attended a fundraising event at my high school on Saturday night. I am on the Alumnae Council, but this is the first time I was a guest rather than a volunteer. Even though there were times I wished I would have brought someone with me, it was nice just being able to stop and visit with anyone I knew, and didn't have to "entertain" someone else. If you read my last post, you know I have been a little "strapped for cash", so I couldn't really buy anything. I did end up with a gift certificate for another retreat, like the one I wrote about here . This gift certificate is actually for a person retreat rather than a group one, but I am sure that it will be just as positive of an experience.
Yesterday morning, I went to brunch at my aunt and uncle's house. We celebrated my cousin's 21st birthday, and my grandpa's 80th birthday, which both were February 2. Even though they are on opposite sides of the family, they always thought it was special to share a birthday. This one was EXTRA special due to the number of birthdays they were celebrating. I went to a basketball game with my family (mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law)....we didn't take any pictures there.
Last night, I picked up a shift at the hospital and worked 10PM until 7:30AM for "bonus pay" (extra $10/hr). I hadn't worked a night shift since May, and today I know why I was so excited about getting "straight days"!! I ended up admitting a patient that had been "life-flighted" in, and then picked up a patient from each of the nurses in my area. They both gave me their "easiest" patient, so I had a really good, quiet night. Of course, then today, I was hardly able to move off the couch. Now, that isn't SO different from MOST of my days off...HOWEVER, I'm thinking that usually, I spend my days on the couch because I can, but TODAY, I spent my day on the couch because I couldn't get up to do anything else! I did pick up a patient's mom from the airport this afternoon, spent an hour and a half talking to the mother of a chronically ill child who is considering seeing if my hospital will evaluate her child, talked to my aunt in Tennessee on the phone, checked on my dad a couple of times (he is having a colonoscopy tomorrow, so today was the "not fun" day), and also talked to my mom. So, I was "social" even though I could do most of it from my couch!
As far as I know, my little friend at the hospital remains critically ill. I SO wanted to visit her mom last night when I was at work, but never did (for reasons that I still think are valid). She had a pretty bad night, though, so a part of me wishes I would have just done it (but then, if it was the wrong decision, I would really be regretting that now.). So, instead, I left a message on her mom's cell phone telling her I was praying, and remain on "standby" if she needs ANYTHING. I guess that's all I can do...and continue to ask for prayers for her entire family.
Enjoy the slide show..."love"-themed :o)
"Quotes of the Day" from the past few days...worth remembering, I think!
Don't go through life, grow through life. ~Eric Butterworth
Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. ~Irving Berlin
I attended a fundraising event at my high school on Saturday night. I am on the Alumnae Council, but this is the first time I was a guest rather than a volunteer. Even though there were times I wished I would have brought someone with me, it was nice just being able to stop and visit with anyone I knew, and didn't have to "entertain" someone else. If you read my last post, you know I have been a little "strapped for cash", so I couldn't really buy anything. I did end up with a gift certificate for another retreat, like the one I wrote about here . This gift certificate is actually for a person retreat rather than a group one, but I am sure that it will be just as positive of an experience.
Yesterday morning, I went to brunch at my aunt and uncle's house. We celebrated my cousin's 21st birthday, and my grandpa's 80th birthday, which both were February 2. Even though they are on opposite sides of the family, they always thought it was special to share a birthday. This one was EXTRA special due to the number of birthdays they were celebrating. I went to a basketball game with my family (mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law)....we didn't take any pictures there.
Last night, I picked up a shift at the hospital and worked 10PM until 7:30AM for "bonus pay" (extra $10/hr). I hadn't worked a night shift since May, and today I know why I was so excited about getting "straight days"!! I ended up admitting a patient that had been "life-flighted" in, and then picked up a patient from each of the nurses in my area. They both gave me their "easiest" patient, so I had a really good, quiet night. Of course, then today, I was hardly able to move off the couch. Now, that isn't SO different from MOST of my days off...HOWEVER, I'm thinking that usually, I spend my days on the couch because I can, but TODAY, I spent my day on the couch because I couldn't get up to do anything else! I did pick up a patient's mom from the airport this afternoon, spent an hour and a half talking to the mother of a chronically ill child who is considering seeing if my hospital will evaluate her child, talked to my aunt in Tennessee on the phone, checked on my dad a couple of times (he is having a colonoscopy tomorrow, so today was the "not fun" day), and also talked to my mom. So, I was "social" even though I could do most of it from my couch!
As far as I know, my little friend at the hospital remains critically ill. I SO wanted to visit her mom last night when I was at work, but never did (for reasons that I still think are valid). She had a pretty bad night, though, so a part of me wishes I would have just done it (but then, if it was the wrong decision, I would really be regretting that now.). So, instead, I left a message on her mom's cell phone telling her I was praying, and remain on "standby" if she needs ANYTHING. I guess that's all I can do...and continue to ask for prayers for her entire family.
Enjoy the slide show..."love"-themed :o)
"Quotes of the Day" from the past few days...worth remembering, I think!
Don't go through life, grow through life. ~Eric Butterworth
Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. ~Irving Berlin
Friday, February 8, 2008
Gotta love 'em
Parents, that is!
I am SO lucky to have such wonderful parents. They have been married for over 30 years and still enjoy spending lots of time together. They also still enjoy spending time with me! I eat dinner at their house 60-75% of the time. (The story I am sticking to on that, though, is that they ALWAYS make enough for at least three people, and they don't eat leftovers! Either I eat it, or the garbage gets it!). This also saves me a bit of money at the grocery store, which makes me wonder even more "what happened?"...
Where did all my money go? I have never really kept a "budget", because I felt like I had my own little "internal" budget that had been fairly accurate. I know enough not to buy expensive clothes or shoes or "accessories". I'm not a very good shopper because I never really think I "need" anything, so it is kind of pointless. Most of my vacations have been to places I didn't need to get a hotel or rental car. I don't spend my money going to the bars or even to the movies...I actually hardly EVER go out (and, most of my meals are paid for by my parents!). My car is paid off...
And yet, the paycheck I got today was barely enough to cover my mortgage. I have at least five more bills that are due before I get paid again. How did this happen?! I don't think my internal money monitor has any screws loose! I don't really think I have been going "overboard" on my spending...I can't even remember the last time I went "shopping" besides the grocery store (I suppose I will admit that I enjoy buying things at the grocery store, but I DO eat the stuff I buy!). Tonight, my dad asked when we were going to go to the horse races again. I told him it seems I can't afford to go anywhere right now. (I already feel like a hermit a lot of the time, and now I am confined to my house for financial reasons...argh!).
As I was telling my dad my financial woes, what did he do? He pulled out his checkbook and wrote me a check (I actually DID say something to the effect that if I didn't win the raffle at the fundraiser I am attending tomorrow, I was going to have to ask for a loan...so it wasn't completely spur-of-the-moment, but still VERY generous!). What a relief, and yet, a little deflating...I WANT to be independent, I WANT to be able to take care of myself, I WANT to be able to take care of someone else...but, I still NEED my parents.
Thank God He gave me THE BEST ones!
______________________
Work was fine...only a little crazy. My "little friend" is critically ill. That makes my heart very sad. She has wonderful parents too. I love working with wonderful parents. That is what helps me through the times when the parents are not so great. I pray for them tonight. It is late, but I am sure they are still awake, praying for God to protect their little one, to lay His healing hands on her, as He has many times before. Praying also for insight on what I can do to help them.
Good night.
I am SO lucky to have such wonderful parents. They have been married for over 30 years and still enjoy spending lots of time together. They also still enjoy spending time with me! I eat dinner at their house 60-75% of the time. (The story I am sticking to on that, though, is that they ALWAYS make enough for at least three people, and they don't eat leftovers! Either I eat it, or the garbage gets it!). This also saves me a bit of money at the grocery store, which makes me wonder even more "what happened?"...
Where did all my money go? I have never really kept a "budget", because I felt like I had my own little "internal" budget that had been fairly accurate. I know enough not to buy expensive clothes or shoes or "accessories". I'm not a very good shopper because I never really think I "need" anything, so it is kind of pointless. Most of my vacations have been to places I didn't need to get a hotel or rental car. I don't spend my money going to the bars or even to the movies...I actually hardly EVER go out (and, most of my meals are paid for by my parents!). My car is paid off...
And yet, the paycheck I got today was barely enough to cover my mortgage. I have at least five more bills that are due before I get paid again. How did this happen?! I don't think my internal money monitor has any screws loose! I don't really think I have been going "overboard" on my spending...I can't even remember the last time I went "shopping" besides the grocery store (I suppose I will admit that I enjoy buying things at the grocery store, but I DO eat the stuff I buy!). Tonight, my dad asked when we were going to go to the horse races again. I told him it seems I can't afford to go anywhere right now. (I already feel like a hermit a lot of the time, and now I am confined to my house for financial reasons...argh!).
As I was telling my dad my financial woes, what did he do? He pulled out his checkbook and wrote me a check (I actually DID say something to the effect that if I didn't win the raffle at the fundraiser I am attending tomorrow, I was going to have to ask for a loan...so it wasn't completely spur-of-the-moment, but still VERY generous!). What a relief, and yet, a little deflating...I WANT to be independent, I WANT to be able to take care of myself, I WANT to be able to take care of someone else...but, I still NEED my parents.
Thank God He gave me THE BEST ones!
______________________
Work was fine...only a little crazy. My "little friend" is critically ill. That makes my heart very sad. She has wonderful parents too. I love working with wonderful parents. That is what helps me through the times when the parents are not so great. I pray for them tonight. It is late, but I am sure they are still awake, praying for God to protect their little one, to lay His healing hands on her, as He has many times before. Praying also for insight on what I can do to help them.
Good night.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Unpredictable
I forgot to mention something that happened last night at church. I ran into a nurse who used to work on my floor. I hadn't seen her in quite some time and she is about 7 months pregnant which is very exciting. I told her about how things were going at the hospital, and also with me. When I told her I was going to take foster parent classes, I wasn't sure what she would say. Her response was "you will be in high demand". It wasn't "wow, how are you going to manage that?" or "why?" or "what about?" or any questioning, simply "you will be in high demand". I received pretty much the same response when I said something at the last young adult gathering. In fact, I have gotten some good feedback that has encouraged me to continue this process.
My parents, on the other hand, basically ignore me whenever I say anything about it. I believe that could be my biggest obstacle with this decision. My parents and I have a wonderful relationship and I depend on them for so many things. Once I have a child, I will need to depend on them even more. I NEED them on my side...I don't think I can do this without them. Luckily, there is plenty of time...I will keep praying for direction for all of us.
I managed to make it to my meeting no problem, even though I had trouble going to sleep, then I got a call at 5:30 to see if I wanted to work (of course I couldn't...I had a meeting!). It took me a while to fall back to sleep after that, so I did take a nap this afternoon. I found out at my meeting that there was some "structural issues" yesterday at the hospital that caused HUGE problems that carried over into today. They needed extra staff because patients had to be moved to different areas of the hospital. It would have been nice to get that extra $15/hr, especially since I have been having difficulties with my bills. However, it was important for me to attend the meeting, and I also had offered to take a patient's mother to the airport (she was going home for a long weekend to take care of some business...no worries, she isn't one of THOSE mothers that just leaves town and lets the nurses baby-sit [oh yes, that DOES happen!]--her husband and in-laws are here!).
As I was checking in on all my blogs this afternoon, I discovered that one of "my" patients was sick in the hospital. As the day progressed, she did not get better, and is now VERY sick and on her way back here. I was praying SO hard that she could stay close to home (especially because of the issues that happened yesterday!). I am SO sad for her family. Just a couple days ago, she was doing GREAT! I suppose that is the unpredictibility of these patients. Luckily, this family realizes that each day with their child is precious, and live that way. I guess it would be great if EVERYONE lived like that! Because, no one really knows how long they will be here on Earth. Life can change in an instant, even if you have never been sick a day in your life. Crazy accidents, unfortunate events, and tragedies happen every day...so, remember to hug your family and friends and tell them you love them; make sure those special people in your life know you think they are special :o)
Tonight, if anyone checks in on my "blog", please take a moment to pray for all those families who are on my heart tonight. I'm back to work tomorrow...it will be interesting I am sure.
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
(That is a little bit "random", but an excellent scripture passage for any time!)
My parents, on the other hand, basically ignore me whenever I say anything about it. I believe that could be my biggest obstacle with this decision. My parents and I have a wonderful relationship and I depend on them for so many things. Once I have a child, I will need to depend on them even more. I NEED them on my side...I don't think I can do this without them. Luckily, there is plenty of time...I will keep praying for direction for all of us.
I managed to make it to my meeting no problem, even though I had trouble going to sleep, then I got a call at 5:30 to see if I wanted to work (of course I couldn't...I had a meeting!). It took me a while to fall back to sleep after that, so I did take a nap this afternoon. I found out at my meeting that there was some "structural issues" yesterday at the hospital that caused HUGE problems that carried over into today. They needed extra staff because patients had to be moved to different areas of the hospital. It would have been nice to get that extra $15/hr, especially since I have been having difficulties with my bills. However, it was important for me to attend the meeting, and I also had offered to take a patient's mother to the airport (she was going home for a long weekend to take care of some business...no worries, she isn't one of THOSE mothers that just leaves town and lets the nurses baby-sit [oh yes, that DOES happen!]--her husband and in-laws are here!).
As I was checking in on all my blogs this afternoon, I discovered that one of "my" patients was sick in the hospital. As the day progressed, she did not get better, and is now VERY sick and on her way back here. I was praying SO hard that she could stay close to home (especially because of the issues that happened yesterday!). I am SO sad for her family. Just a couple days ago, she was doing GREAT! I suppose that is the unpredictibility of these patients. Luckily, this family realizes that each day with their child is precious, and live that way. I guess it would be great if EVERYONE lived like that! Because, no one really knows how long they will be here on Earth. Life can change in an instant, even if you have never been sick a day in your life. Crazy accidents, unfortunate events, and tragedies happen every day...so, remember to hug your family and friends and tell them you love them; make sure those special people in your life know you think they are special :o)
Tonight, if anyone checks in on my "blog", please take a moment to pray for all those families who are on my heart tonight. I'm back to work tomorrow...it will be interesting I am sure.
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
(That is a little bit "random", but an excellent scripture passage for any time!)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Snow day!
Somehow, I got a "second wind" last night, after working three days in a row. One would think I would have been completely exhausted and crash by 8:30! I was pretty tired at 8:30, but with all the typing and getting annoyed at my computer, I was up until 12:30. I tried to get up to go work out, but it just wasn't happening. I found out that my friend who usually just works in the morning at Curves was going to be there in the afternoon too, which was a great excuse just to stay in bed. I managed to get up a little bit BEFORE 12:30 (so ALMOST 12 hours in bed, but not quite!). I'm thinking that kind of thing doesn't fly when you are a parent...good thing it will be a while before I am one, I guess! So, the kids in town had to go to school, but I had my own version of "The Snow Day" and it was very fun!
So, I turned on the "self-portrait" setting on my camera, put it on my dresser, and stood on a step-stool. You have to admit I'm looking pretty "snazzy" in my monkey pajamas! I figured that between last night and today, I spent an entire eighteen hours in them, so it seemed fitting to photograph myself that way (au natural).
I woke up to this:
Granted, it DID start yesterday,
but we got about 5 inches of snow total.
Luckily, I just had to shovel those steps
and my driveway because I have no sidewalks!
I haven't posted any pictures in a while. It is kind of hard to get pictures of yourself when you live by yourself. So, I decided to try and take some pictures of myself. It was pretty comical figuring out the best way to do that. As you can see, the whole "mirror idea" was kind of a flop.
So, I turned on the "self-portrait" setting on my camera, put it on my dresser, and stood on a step-stool. You have to admit I'm looking pretty "snazzy" in my monkey pajamas! I figured that between last night and today, I spent an entire eighteen hours in them, so it seemed fitting to photograph myself that way (au natural).
I went to Curves around 3:00, so had to get dressed for that (but, I just threw my hair in a clip without brushing it...wow, that is SO sad!). I took a nice warm bath after that, before going to Ash Wednesday Mass (I was a little late...enjoyed my bath a little TOO long!). I ate dinner, watched a bunch of television (I did fold some laundry from a few days ago and did my dishes too).
The speakers on my laptop are not working and I've been trying to figure out why. I like to turn on my "iTunes" instead of the TV sometimes when I am working around the house and all the songs are "skipping". I'm hoping that if I just restart my computer tonight (or leave it off for the night...imagine that!), it will work tomorrow. If not, then I'll have to turn to "Plan B"...whatever that is!
Of course, since I slept the day away, I am not really tired now (it is now 11:00). I have a meeting at 9:00, so cannot stay up all night long! Maybe I should start one of the 15 or so books I have and see if that puts me to sleep!
That's all folks...good night!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
That's my cue
So, I just typed a huge long journal that was taking me forever to try and get the right words out. I had a lot I wanted to write. It just got deleted and there is no getting it back. I guess even though it isn't a "published" post, it was still a good way to sort through my feelings of yesterday and today. I am, however, rather annoyed that I typed for over 30 minutes and now I really should go to bed, even though I didn't get to "shout out" what happened yesterday and today. Oh well, I'll just have to think that it happened for a reason... Maybe tomorrow I will try again! I already have established that this is more of a personal journal than anything because "no one" reads it but me, so it shouldn't REALLY matter that much...but it kind of does.
By the way...I'm also sad that Jackie got voted off The Biggest Loser. I was rooting for the orange team from the beginning. So, I guess I still have Dan to cheer for. I also like Kelly for some reason...maybe because she is SUPER emotional (kind of like me!). Those brothers have GOT to go. Anyhoo, I should go to bed :o)
A deleted journal entry...that's my cue to go to bed...hopefully not a cue that I need to stop spending so much time typing journals and more time typing emails to my family and friends :o)
By the way...I'm also sad that Jackie got voted off The Biggest Loser. I was rooting for the orange team from the beginning. So, I guess I still have Dan to cheer for. I also like Kelly for some reason...maybe because she is SUPER emotional (kind of like me!). Those brothers have GOT to go. Anyhoo, I should go to bed :o)
A deleted journal entry...that's my cue to go to bed...hopefully not a cue that I need to stop spending so much time typing journals and more time typing emails to my family and friends :o)
Monday, February 4, 2008
Mum's the Word
Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow. ~Lawrence Clark Powell
This blogging "phenomena" has me chuckling these days. As I have written more than once, I had no idea what the plan was for my blog, and I STILL have no idea if there is one. I actually haven't written in my "paper" journal in a couple of weeks, so it has taken the place of that. I'm not sure if the "write to be understood" part of the above quote is true for me. I'm not sure if I write so that OTHER people understand me. I would say that there may have been times that someone could learn from my experiences. I DEFINITELY, however, believe that writing/journalling/having a diary has facilitated a better understanding of myself and my feelings (of course, it would be even BETTER if I actually went back and read what I have written and see if there is a pattern, or anything significant that would help me in my every day life!).
I cannot tell a lie (well, okay, not this time!)--I have a "Site Meter" on my blog. It is there in plain sight, so that should not be a surprise. What I find amusing (the chuckling I wrote about in the previous paragraph) is that more people have visited my blog in the past SEVEN days than did in the previous THREE WEEKS. Even still, my last comment (one of the seven or so I have ever received) was back on December 18 from a random guy in Malaysia who, to my knowledge, has never returned to read my blog (and, I'm thinking I'm actually okay with that one!). I wonder if there is some psychologist out there that studies blogs and "bloggers". Is there a rhyme or reason to the people who get a lot of "traffic" on their blogs, and people like me who basically just journal for themselves simply because no one else reads it? The blogs I read are nearly ALL written by moms, except for one that is written by a dad, and maybe once or twice I happened upon another single person's blog. Are those the "typical" blogs that the average 28-year-old single female usually frequent? My guess is no, but that's what I like...see the next paragraph! I know the term "lurker" very well. For a LONG time, I read a couple blogs and never commented, mostly out of fear of how my comment would be interpreted, and not really knowing how to word what I felt like saying (or even what should be said). I am still a little self-conscious about leaving comments, but do more frequently now. This is kind of how I am in "real life"--I enjoy writing letters, sending cards, giving nice notes, but I am much more comfortable if the person reads it when I am not present. Okay, that's my "speak to be heard" part, I guess!! How fun it would be for me if this post somehow brought about a comment...it's been a while...come on, say hello :o) ha ha!
Now, "read to grow"...all along, that has been my mantra. I have been reading other blogs to learn, and BOY have I learned a LOT! Even more than I ever could have imagined. When I first created my blog, my "about me" just pretty much said that I felt I should have a blog out of courtesy of the other bloggers whose life I "invaded". Obviously, other people's lives MUST be more interesting since I have gotten less than 400 visitors (actually, less than that since probably a hundred or so are me visiting my own site!), and less than ten comments. I'm not REALLY going to complain though, because I'd rather have no comments than one nasty one! So, if you are reading this, and you just want to "read to grow", that is a-okay with me, just know that it makes me giggle...and that isn't so bad either!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Great timing!
So, my last two posts focused on a mother's grief journey (utilizing the wisdom of someone who is there). Since I work tomorrow, I went to church this evening. And, how great is this?!, the scripture reading was the Beatitudes . "...Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted..." I continue to pray for comfort for all those mothers and fathers I know who are grieving the loss of their children (unfortunately, there are a lot of those due to my occupation). Anyway, I just have to laugh at God's timing recently (or, maybe I am just paying better attention!). He just keeps on sending me the people, or the words, I need, in His perfect time (again, this would be good to remember on those not-so-good days!).
Last night, my mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, a friend, and I did a charity walk to benefit those who need help with their heat bills (my mom's company was one of the sponsors). It was called a "walk for warmth". Lucky for us, it was quite a bit warmer than it was earlier this week (maybe even above freezing!). It was fun, especially since I hadn't talked to my sister for a while. We stayed warm enough and it was good exercise!
This morning, I helped my dad's assistant coach with the "B" team, then this afternoon kept score for his "A" team. Both of his teams lost by 20 points, but all the girls looked like they were having fun.
After church, I came home and cooked dinner (one of my favorites--Easy Chicken-Ranch Skillet...I'll post the recipe!). Then, since I couldn't find any movies on TV, I decided to pull out my copy of "Full House: The Complete First Season" . Wow, that brought some laughs, but it sure is quite "cheesy". I only watched a few episodes, since it is nearly bedtime (I have to work the next three days and I haven't spent an entire day off the couch in nearly four days, so a 5:30 alarm will seem "extra early"!)
Easy Chicken-Ranch Skillet
2 tablespoons oil (enough to cook chicken)
1 chicken breast cut into small pieces
1/4 cup ranch dressing (I actually used 1/2 cup this time...I love ranch!)
1 can chicken stock or 1 cup chicken bouillon
1 tablespoon flour to thicken broth
2-3 flour tortillas
1 cup cheese (I used a little more, and this time used "Mexican blend" with jalapeno cheese)
Cook chicken in oil in skillet. Add ranch dressing, chicken broth, and flour. Stir. Tear up tortillas (enough to soak up some of the broth) and add cheese. Simmer on low heat for 15 minutes (stir a couple of times or it sticks to the bottom of the pan). Sprinkle cheese on top if desired. Makes 2 servings. (can EASILY adjust recipe to make more, but this works for me, myself, and I!)
Alrighty then...this journal entry is ALL over the place! Again, I guess I had a brief moment of brilliance when I so appropriately titled this blog "Do I have anything to say?"! :o)
Today's "Quote of the Day"--Success is a journey, not a destination. ~Ben Sweetland
Last night, my mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, a friend, and I did a charity walk to benefit those who need help with their heat bills (my mom's company was one of the sponsors). It was called a "walk for warmth". Lucky for us, it was quite a bit warmer than it was earlier this week (maybe even above freezing!). It was fun, especially since I hadn't talked to my sister for a while. We stayed warm enough and it was good exercise!
This morning, I helped my dad's assistant coach with the "B" team, then this afternoon kept score for his "A" team. Both of his teams lost by 20 points, but all the girls looked like they were having fun.
After church, I came home and cooked dinner (one of my favorites--Easy Chicken-Ranch Skillet...I'll post the recipe!). Then, since I couldn't find any movies on TV, I decided to pull out my copy of "Full House: The Complete First Season" . Wow, that brought some laughs, but it sure is quite "cheesy". I only watched a few episodes, since it is nearly bedtime (I have to work the next three days and I haven't spent an entire day off the couch in nearly four days, so a 5:30 alarm will seem "extra early"!)
Easy Chicken-Ranch Skillet
2 tablespoons oil (enough to cook chicken)
1 chicken breast cut into small pieces
1/4 cup ranch dressing (I actually used 1/2 cup this time...I love ranch!)
1 can chicken stock or 1 cup chicken bouillon
1 tablespoon flour to thicken broth
2-3 flour tortillas
1 cup cheese (I used a little more, and this time used "Mexican blend" with jalapeno cheese)
Cook chicken in oil in skillet. Add ranch dressing, chicken broth, and flour. Stir. Tear up tortillas (enough to soak up some of the broth) and add cheese. Simmer on low heat for 15 minutes (stir a couple of times or it sticks to the bottom of the pan). Sprinkle cheese on top if desired. Makes 2 servings. (can EASILY adjust recipe to make more, but this works for me, myself, and I!)
Alrighty then...this journal entry is ALL over the place! Again, I guess I had a brief moment of brilliance when I so appropriately titled this blog "Do I have anything to say?"! :o)
Today's "Quote of the Day"--Success is a journey, not a destination. ~Ben Sweetland
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