Talk Talk Talk

That's what I feel like I did all day. Good thing I like to talk, right?! :o)

I started the day with a meeting at work. I am the chairperson, so am the "meeting leader"...that requires a lot of talking :o) The person who insists on arguing about everything, even if she is agreeing with you was not there, so it made for a MUCH less stressful meeting. One person even said when the meeting was over that her heart rate and blood pressure were still within normal limits...not usually the case when the other individual is present!

Then, I stayed at the hospital and visited with a friend for nearly an hour and a half. I am SO blessed to have her as a friend! Hopefully she will be able to get closer to home soon (which happens to be far away from here...), even though I'll definitely miss talking to her.

After THAT, I went down a couple floors and visited my sister's friend who is in the hospital. She is nearly 25 weeks pregnant with her first baby and is on bed rest (with bathroom privileges!) They are hoping she will be able to make it to 32 weeks. She is in good spirits, even though her husband hasn't been able to visit for a few days since he has been sick. Her mom was there, and I stayed for about an hour. Praying for that little one...I have seen kiddos who have had complications from being born too early and it is not easy. Luckily, she is in an excellent hospital (if I do say so myself!) and has lots of support from family and friends.

I finally got something to eat when I finally got home around 3:00. I threw in some laundry, then ran some errands. I talked to a few people on my errands (the employees at Fashion Bug know me VERY well, I ran into people from church at the book store, and had to talk to the guy at the coffee shop so I could get my mocha :o) ).

Tonight, I had choir practice, but we did so some talking as well as doing a bit of singing. I'm looking forward to actually being able to sing with the choir on Sunday at church!

My parents had a late dinner, so I joined them. And, yes we did a bit of talking. I text messaged with a friend, which isn't EXACTLY talking, but kind of like talking...well, maybe it IS talking since that's how lots of people communicate with each other...

Anyway, lots of talking, not a lot of anything else. Talking is fun. I like to talk...yet, somehow I also enjoy living by myself and being able to choose not to talk to anyone :o)

Back to work tomorrow...I'm sure there will be some talking involved then as well. I'd better rest my mouth :o)

Good night!

I shouldn't...

be on the computer typing because my eyes are tired and giving me a headache. Plus, I have a meeting to prepare for that starts at 9:30. I need decide if I'm going to try and stay awake to finish preparing for my meeting, or force myself to get up early and do it! Either way, I should not be sitting on my couch typing...

I only had two patients today. One of them had a student nurse for most of the day and only had two medications all day and no IV...so, not much to do there. The other one kept me busy for a few minutes at a time, but I did quite a bit of visiting and sitting today. I guess I shouldn't complain, especially the "visiting" part because I DO love to chit-chat :o)

Okay, I wonder if I can organize a little bit, and then make myself finish reading stuff in the morning. I'm not sure I'll be able to make myself get up once I'm all comfy cozy in bed, though...I suppose I should at least figure out how much work I have to do!

Good night.

Number 100

No, not my post number (I will hit the 400 mark some time in the next week!) I was voter Number 100 at my polling place this morning! It was 9:30 in the morning, so that's pretty good voter turn-out, especially since my polling place is pretty small. I didn't have to wait in line, though, so that was exciting. I'm glad I had the day off, because I am not sure how the whole early voting thing worked, and the polls were closed by the time I would have gotten off work. I'm not really "into" politics, and probably wasn't the most informed voter, but I do see the importance in exercising this right...there are people all around the world who would love to have the opportunity to choose their leaders.

I'm not exactly sure what I did the rest of the morning besides send some emails and watch TV! I spent about two hours at the hospital visiting a friend this afternoon. I had Bible Study this evening. I have the TV on now watching "the numbers", but am not sure how long I will stay awake since I have to work tomorrow and I'm already feeling tired.

Prayers for our country as we elect people who will make very important decisions for us the next four years.

Good night.

Well...

I probably didn't need to write anything tonight, because today wasn't that exciting :o) However, I have made this my "journal", and when I had a paper journal, I pretty much wrote every day. So, out of "habit", I will write something (even though I SHOULD be reading something...I have a stack of policies and procedures and practice guidelines to read before my meeting on Thursday...hmm, wonder why I'm NOT doing that!)

I hopped out of bed shortly before 10 since someone was ringing my doorbell and banging on the door. As it turns out, I should have stayed in bed since it was an older woman handing out religious pamphlets...and yes, I DID open the door...but I must have looked tired enough, or annoyed enough, that she handed me the paper and left. I ALMOST drove myself to Curves, but ended up driving around the block and coming back home. I REALLY hope no one saw that :o) I decided to go ahead and mow my lawn instead of raking the first set of leaves. By the end of the day, my lawn was filled with them again, so I think that was a good idea.

I went to lunch with my friend who won the money at the races for calling in her bets. Her two kids joined us, so that was fun. However, I can hardly believe she expected a two and four-year old to sit still while we visited for nearly two hours...they did GREAT! (of course, having a TV over our table turned to cartoons helped!)

I spent the rest of the afternoon...hmm, what DID I do?! I did write some thank yous, and some checks to pay some bills. It was nearly 80 degrees today, so I walked them to the post office. I fought with my computer for a while trying to upload pictures from my trip to facebook so my friends there could see them (I finally won and they are posted now--yay!). I made tater-tot casserole for the first time...I never knew it was that easy!

Okay, maybe I should do some reading before I go to bed. I don't have any plans for tomorrow (besides VOTING!), but in case something unexpected comes up, I should get some work done.

Good night!

I made it...

barely :o) I made it through my third day in a row of working after being off for two weeks. Our census is REALLY low, but it doesn't get that way without a LITTLE work! In the three days I worked, I sent four patients home, got a post-op patient, had an admission, and transferred a patient from one side to the other. I administered two units of platelets. I did a bit of "chit-chatting". Things went pretty darn well, and I ALMOST wish I was working tomorrow to continue the fun (but, I have lunch plans and don't think they need an "extra" nurse considering at least one should get to have the day off!) Late this afternoon, for some reason, I blew a fuse. My blood was boiling and I was burning up from head to toe. Luckily, it wasn't busy, so I was able to sit for a while and take a "chill pill" (and a nice large glass of ice water!) It was so crazy that what this parent said/did got to me the way it did because normally I probably could have laughed it off. However, at that moment, like I said, it sent me through the roof. I suppose maybe it is good for everyone that I have two days off now :o)

This picture was posted on the patient's web site. It isn't THAT much better of a picture, but I think it is cute. She makes a cute little spiderman, with muscles and all :o) Today she "tatooed" me with a lady bug tatoo on my left arm...so fun!

I've had a sore throat the past couple days which is pretty annoying. I've been trying to drink extra water, and will be sure to get some extra rest the next two days (sleep is usually not a problem, especially when I have days off!) I don't really have any other symptoms, so it is probably related to the fact that I was traveling in different parts of the country, the weather has been changing, with temperatures varying quite a bit from day to day, and my sleep was kind of messed up last week. I just hope it doesn't turn into anything else, because patients in the hospital typically don't like it if their nurse sounds sick!

Well, that's about it for today :o) Good night!

Falling Back

So, tonight we turn the clocks back an hour. I'm kind of looking forward to an extra hour of sleep (which I will get unless I decide to stay awake an extra hour!). Apparently, last year I had some "issues" with Daylight Savings Time. Interesting that I was in the midst of a three day stretch at work then as well. I will say that I made some valid points. Too bad this article wasn't available then, although I'm not sure it would have made much of a difference! I also went back and read all of the posts I made last November . Pretty interesting stuff...especially since a lot has happened in a year, but there are also quite a few similarities in what I feel now to what I wrote then. It does seem like I had a pretty emotional November last year, but also did a bit of growing in various aspects of my life.

Well, I was offered the chance to have tomorrow off on more than one occasion. On Thursday when I was at choir practice, I thought that I would take Sunday off if it was offered so I would be able to go to church. However, I decided to say "no thank you" and will go to work for my third day in a row. That is one reason I said "no"--tomorrow will be my third day with one of my patients, so I know her really well. I know what I am getting into and it SHOULDN'T be too bad. I'm thinking I should save my "day off" for a day when I have something exciting planned, or if I have such a yucky day that I don't want to go back the following day if I don't have to :o) I also just had two weeks off, and used three days of PTO. It doesn't accrue very quickly, and is the same as "sick time". I definitely wouldn't be able to afford days off without pay, so probably should try and keep a little PTO cushion :o) PLUS, I get an extra hour of sleep, so getting up early for the third day in a row shouldn't be so bad!

I suppose if I really want to get my extra hour of sleep, I should go to bed now.
Good night!

It's Halloween!

These pictures didn't turn out that great, but they were the only ones I have. I think my lady bug costume turned out pretty well. I got the glasses from a patient, and didn't wear them all day long. I am wearing a red scrub top and black scrub pants. I bought self-adhesive felt (which I didn't know existed!) and cut out circles. I had a wrap-type headband and twisted a pipe cleaner around it (with a little help from a co-worker!) So, I was comfortable AND cute! :o) I did get quite a few compliments, so that's always fun :o)

I started off with 29 spots

(because when I was little, we counted spots to see how old they were!)

It looks like I may have lost a couple!

Last year I dressed as Dora the Explorer.

The year before, I didn't work, but I went to the parade as some sort of Doodlebop relative.

I missed quite a bit of the parade since I was busy, but the kids I saw looked really cute. They paraded them around a few floors, and people from different departments handed out goodies. There was even some media coverage, which is really neat

Well, it's only 9:30, but I'm TIRED (it's HARD to stay awake all day long when you are used to sleeping in, taking naps, or both!)

Good night!

(If you happen to stop by Kristy's blog tomorrow, be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday!!)

I didn't want to

and, since I am "my own boss" (well, sort of anyway) I didn't.

I didn't want to get up at a decent hour, so once again I rolled out of bed at 10. (Tomorrow morning's 5:30 alarm is NOT going to go over very well...but I'm hoping to be in bed WELL before midnight tonight!)

I didn't want to mow my lawn, or rake the leaves. I meant to do that yesterday, but found other "more important" things to do. Today, I just didn't want to, so I didn't. It needs it REALLY bad, and more likely than not, I will regret not having cleared away one set of leaves before they start coming down full force.

I didn't want to pick up my living room, and didn't feel like writing thank-you notes, so I didn't (now, hopefully I don't get any "unexpected visitors", and really it is kind of rude that I didn't make thank-yous a "priority")

I didn't want to drive to my FIFTH store trying to find a headband or black pipe cleaners for my Halloween costume. So, I called one of the child life ladies and she assured me that the hospital does have black pipe cleaners on hand, should I decide my "lady bug" costume does require me to have an antenna.

I DID bring lunch to a friend at the most perfect time and we were able to visit for a little while.

I DID meet my dad at the horse races to try and redeem ourselves after not picking very well at the Breeder's Cup. He was there an hour before I was (since I was "chit-chatting") and left with more money than he went there with. I was there for a little over an hour, and only lost $2, and we had many "near wins", so I think that is pretty good.

I DID go to three stores today to gather items for my costume (I think it will be cute!)

I DID go to choir practice and am SO happy I decided that this wasn't something that I "didn't want to do". It was really a prayerful time, and I was moved to tears more than once. It has been a long time since we have gathered for rehearsal, and it has been about a month since I went to my church on Sunday.

I DID fix my lunch so it won't take me quite as long to get ready in the morning.

After two weeks off, I am hoping that I remember how to do my job :o) I actually think I'm ready to go back, although it would have been nice if I was leaving behind a nice clean house after having so much time off!

Good night.

Just Sleep

That's what I decided to do this morning...just sleep. I figured that considering I tend to be pretty crabby when I am tired, I wasn't doing anyone any favors by getting up before I was ready (again, God must know what He is doing and this is one reason I do not have a husband or children!) Anyway, my alarm went off at 8:30. When I woke up, I realized I was having an unpleasant dream that was not conducive to good rest anyway. I can't remember what it was about, but it was not good, and I was glad to be done with it. I ended up pushing my snooze button every nine minutes before finally getting up at 10 (talk about not very restful, but I did get pretty good sleep every nine minutes!) I did move like molasses for quite a while, even after going to work out! I didn't end up doing anything productive until nearly 2:00, but then I went to the grocery store, the post office, and to the drug store. After I finally showered (yes, I ran errands in my work out clothes... :o) ) I went and visited a friend. I stayed until I had to finish getting ready for "family dinner". No, not tuna casserole this time! My family goes out to dinner for birthdays, and the birthday person picks the restaurant. I'm not sure how long we have had this "tradition", but it is a fun one (especially since mom and dad pick up the tab!)

Tonight, we went to a "tapas" restaurant. My sister gave me the idea last week, so it was KIND OF her choice, but it was a good one! My dad was in rare form, and decided I needed to get my picture with our waiter. "Edgar" thankfully was okay with it, and maybe I should have been a little more enthusiastic about getting my photo with someone who looks like him :o) (he had a nice accent too...)

I guess black was the color of the night...at least for "the kids".

Thanks mom and dad...sorry about the expensive restaurant choice, but the sangria was great and the food was amazing!

Well, I go back to work the day after tomorrow, so I have one more night to get back on track with this whole sleeping thing. My dad said he has been getting up way later than usual, so at least I'm not the only one with "time change issues"!

It's not quite midnight, and I'm ready for bed. So, that's a good start considering I wasn't very close to ready at this time last night. Good night!

Adjusting

I think the time difference has affected me more at the end of my vacation than it did at the beginning. That makes me grateful that I gave myself a few extra days to recover before I have to go back to work!

When I arrived home yesterday morning, it took me quite a while to "wind down". I am not a night owl by any means, and I do love my sleep, so it was really annoying to not fall asleep until 3:00 knowing that I needed to get up at a decent hour to get some things accomplished. Then, I figured that if I kept myself from taking a nap and spent some time in the outdoors, I could get myself back into my "routine". Unfortunately, I got a "second wind" and don't think I fell asleep until nearly 1:00. So, of COURSE then I couldn't get up at a decent hour, then took a nap this afternoon so I wouldn't fall asleep in my meeting or at my Bible Study. Now, it's nearly midnight and, while I'm sleepy, my mind is racing and am not sure I would be able to "be still" unless I write some of what is on my mind (although it probably won't make much sense!)

I have friends who are hurting. This makes my heart very sad. I don't think my sleep issues have helped matters. I went to sleep with tears in my eyes. When I woke up, they were still there. I read what Kristy wrote this morning, and I lost it. I managed to pull myself together long enough to go work out, but the tears came back as soon as I arrived home and read an email I received. Tears of sadness, tears of appreciation, tears of friendship, tears for reasons unknown. I was a mess, and so I decided just to take a nap...and attempted to "escape" for a while. It wasn't a very restful sleep, but I guess it lasted longer than I expected. My meeting went well, I had dinner with a friend, and it was nice to go to Bible Study after missing last week (although I will admit to being a little distracted, I did get something out of it!). When I got home, I read what Emily had written and the tears just started flowing. Good thing I didn't watch my "tape" of Oprah's special on "miracle children" because I cried enough watching The Biggest Loser!

Well, that seems like enough to slow down the races going on in my head...praying for my friends tonight, and thanking God for all the wonderful people He has placed in my life. I am so blessed.

Good night.

Pumpkin Patch

Even though it is a LOT colder here than it was in California, I don't think I would have enjoyed my pumpkin patch experience NEARLY as much! Something tells me that snuggling up by a bonfire with a pumpkin spice latte just isn't the same when it is 80 degrees. Now, I will say, that I probably would have been more comfortable had I taken my mom up on her offer for gloves, but it really wasn't THAT bad! I had myself a caramel apple as well which was delicious :o) I didn't actually roast myself any marshmallows or hot dogs, but probably should have since now I have to "settle" for microwave popcorn (which is one of those foods I think I could live on, but it definitely is no "s'mores"!)

REALLY big rocking chair! Fun!

Well, I finished my vacation laundry, but still have a bit of a mess in my living room (probably didn't help that I came home to a mess...I guess that is why you are supposed to go on vacation with a clean house!) I suppose I should either start preparing for my afternoon meeting, my evening bible study, or go to bed...good night!

Brrr!

Well, I made it back home, and it feels at LEAST forty degrees cooler here...Welcome Home! I guess I'll find some warm pajamas and an extra blanket and head to bed...my OWN bed!!

Good Night from HOME! :o)

Headed Home

I have a short layover on my way back home...our flight was delayed, so our connection isn't very long. So, we should be on our way shortly...sleeping in my own bed tonight? Perhaps, unless my dad is too tired to bring me the half mile home :o)

Fun Memories

It was a LONG day (my alarm went off at 6:00, and it is now nearly 12:30), but it was a fun one. I took a little nap on the drive home from the races, but could have gone to bed before 8 if that would have been "socially acceptable" :o)

My uncle said he would leave us if we weren't ready by 7, but of course we didn't leave until closer to 8. So, I was definitely ready for some coffee and breakfast by the time we got there! It was a BEAUTIFUL day and gorgeous surroundings. Of course, my dad and I love to go to the races, and it is something he and his brothers did with THEIR dad, so that is really special. I haven't been to see a live race in a really long time. He and his brothers have not gotten together very often, and we were joined by their uncle (my grandma's half-brother who is actually younger than my dad!) whom I don't really remember, and a friend they grew up with. So, it was a really neat experience, even though no one really won any money. My dad and I came pretty close quite a few times, and are not big "betters" (most of the races each of us put in $3, so the entire day cost quite a bit less than a day at any of the area theme parks :o) ) The coolest thing was when one of my friends called and gave me two numbers to bet in one of the races. Both of them finished in the order she picked, which was SO fun (she won $25...not too bad!)

My aunt and uncle had a party at their house tonight, so that was fun! My dad and I mostly sat on the couch watching the World Series game since we didn't know anyone, but did visit once the game was over :o)

I'm pretty tired...I have been away from home for over a week now! I am not sure if I am QUITE ready to say that I am READY to go home, but it might be okay to go back to sleeping in my own bed and not living out of a suitcase. I have made MANY fun memories, not just today, but all of the days of my vacation. It has been nice to get away. Even though I wasn't able to leave my computer, email, facebook, or "my blogs" behind, I am kind of proud of myself for not checking my work email, especially since I did that quite a few times when I was on vacation the last time.

We don't have any plans for tomorrow, except I think everyone is planning to sleep in. Our flight doesn't leave until the early evening, so we have all day to relax and visit.

Good night from California...for the last time this trip.

The Beach

This morning, I went to the beach with my dad and his two brothers. I have been to the beach a few times, but don't think I have ever written my name in the sand. I decided that there was no time like the present, especially since I'm obviously not getting younger and am not sure when my next beach opportunity will be. For some reason, I opted to hold my camera with my right hand and write my name with my left...it wasn't really a well-thought-out plan :o) However, it's still my name...and I believe the first time my name has ever been posted on my blog (those are my flip-flop footprints too...again, I didn't really "plan" the photo-op very well!)

It was SUCH a nice day and wonderful to be outside and watch boats and surfers, listen to the waves and sea gulls, and just soak up the sun (and try to ignore the "smog"!) It was also great to be with my family and enjoy the beauty of the beach with them. We had lunch together there and then pretty much relaxed the rest of the day. I took a nap and enjoyed not having any plans. My dad and I "studied" the program for the horse races tomorrow, but will see what happens once we actually see the horses :o)

We are leaving at 7:00, so I'm thinking I should head to bed pretty soon! Good night...still from California :o)

Welcome to Southern California

POTENTIAL "Alternative Title" being Good-bye Wine, Hello Tequila (and yes, I was hoping that tequila would be my friend today AND tomorrow!)

I'm not really sure many words are needed...aren't those pictures BEAUTIFUL! (Yep, that's me on the pier and on the bench! My friend did a GREAT job, didn't she?!)

I was scared out of my mind the whole drive from St. Helena to Sacramento worrying that I was going to get lost and miss my plane (reminder that, to make matters worse, I REALLY don't like to drive, and DEFINITELY am not used to driving long distances!) The car and I made it there in one piece with just enough time to buy a partially cooked cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee before my flight. My Southern California friend picked me up at the airport and we had an AWESOME day! After getting massages, she brought me to the beach (and, as mentioned above, to a place where they had 2-for-1 happy hour margaritas and I drank mine as well as one of hers...a friend asked me to have a drink for her, so I HAD to be a good friend, right?! :o) ) Her mom cooked us a FANTASTIC dinner (I don't think I will want to eat in a Chinese restaurant for a VERY long time after that!) and then she brought me to my aunt and uncle's house.

Well, it's pretty late and we have "beach plans" tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep. I have been checking in on my "A-team girl" and her family while I have been away and they could use some extra prayers tonight. Her mom is really struggling and I know she would appreciate prayers. Little "E" is holding her own, but she and her family could still use prayers as well. (In case anyone is wondering, I have NOT checked my work email even ONE time since I left work last Friday...just been checking in on a few of my special friends so I know how to direct my prayers :o) )

Birthday Movie

From Movies

So, a week ago Monday, I spent much of the day looking through scrapbooks and old pictures to create this movie. I did have a little bit of backwards thinking in that I first wanted to post in on my "blog", and later decided it would be REALLY neat to send to my parents, especially since I am celebrating my birthday so far away from home. I have watched it like a million times, trying to figure out the best way to send/post it, so hopefully this works! I think that if you click on the movie, it should start to play. Unfortunately, every time I try to make it bigger, the pictures get fuzzy...what can I say, technology isn't one of my strong points :o) So, you can watch it small and clear, or big and fuzzy. And, there is music too :o)

If I remember correctly from my scrapbook, I was born at 1:45, so I am going to try and make it so this posts at 1:45 AM, exactly 29 years after I was born (I'll be asleep!)

10AM California time...for some reason, I am not able to get my OWN movie to play from MY blog. Not sure what's up with THAT, but I'm going to go work out and get breakfast, and maybe it will work when I get back (I'm also checking into trying to make it a YouTube video, but am not sure how that works...) I received a Happy Birthday text message at 7:30 this morning from the baby's mom, my dad called me a little after 8, and my mom texted me not long after that. Looks like it's going to be a great day!

Just in case the top movie doesn't work, maybe this one will...but no guarantees!


or this!

Vineyard Tour

This morning, I once again slept in, but DID go and work out (for the second day in a row!) The Curves in Calistoga is pretty cute, so I took a few photos (I'll just post one since this post is already full of photos!) Unfortunately, she is having to close it down next week because it wasn't a profitable business right now. Luckily for me, it was open this week so I could work out while on vacation!

After my work out, I went and got a coffee at the local coffee shop and drove home. (I got a message on my voice mail that made me laugh...Recall that a few weeks ago, I received a "random phone call" from a lady telling me she heard I was a good baby-sitter. Then, a week later, I met the "random woman" and her adorable 4-year-old son. Apparently, THAT random woman told ANOTHER woman that I would be a good baby-sitter and gave her my phone number (mind you, I've never baby-sat for the 4-year-old yet!). This woman has four children (I didn't actually talk to her, just got her voice mail). So, I guess my name is out there as a "baby-sitter"...now, what's the going rate for a "baby-sitter", especially one who also has a nursing license?! I do love kids and there are many kids I'd take care of for free, but it will have to be worth my time, right?! (Or, as many would think, time is all you have when you only work three days a week and have no responsibilities!). Anyway, I thought that was pretty funny...I left her a message telling her I'd call her when I get back home.

So, when my friend got out of class, we headed to Frog's Leap Vineyard for a tour and tasting. This was REALLY cool and it is a nice vineyard for tours. Our "tour guide" was really nice and we got to tour the garden, grounds, and learned a little about the wine making process. Since it was mostly an outdoor tour, they gave us hats to wear (there was sun screen available too, but I decided a little color would be okay!)

Nice hats (and shades!)

Pasture...some day they will have a cow and make cheese.

"Barrel Room" where the wine ages.

"Fermenting room" where wine ferments (go figure!) :o)

After the vineyard tour, we walked around some shops in Yountville. Then, we had dinner at Taylor's Automatic Refresher (Of COURSE I had to eat a gigantic hamburger with fries and drink a gigantic milkshake before watching "The Biggest Loser"...why would this week be any different?!)

Back to watching "The Biggest Loser"...I'm going to see if I can figure out how to schedule my birthday post to "appear" early in the morning...that would be fun :o) Good night from California!

Wine Tasting

This morning, I slept in (and realized that I never renewed my driver's license that expires on Wednesday before I went out of town...oops!) I "vegged out" for a while and then decided to venture to the Curves in the next town over to fit in a morning workout. I am planning to go back tomorrow, so will have to take some pictures!

When my friend got out of class, I met her at the school and got a little tour. She calls it the "Harry Potter Castle" :o)

I picked up a couple souvenirs, and then we were off for an afternoon of wine tasting. We went to three vineyards today-- V. Sattui , Sterling Vineyards , and Castello di Amorosa (a CASTLE!!) I still wouldn't consider myself a "wine lover", and DEFINITELY no where near being a connoisseur, but I still have a couple more days to practice (and "taste"!) :o) After all the "drinking of the wine", we walked around Calistoga and ate a FABULOUS Italian dinner. I got ready for bed at 7:30 (I think that could mean that I am officially "old") It is just after 9 and I'm "hanging in there", but don't think it will take long for me to fall asleep tonight!





More fun times planned for tomorrow! Good night from California.

My Day in San Francisco

My friend and I went to church this morning and then had coffee and bagels at a local coffee shop. After that, we left to drive to Sausalito to catch a ferry to San Francisco. We did a TON of walking, which is good since I don't think I'll be eating very healthy here (as if I eat healthy OTHER times...ha ha!). I LOVED riding on the ferry and seeing the water and boats, especially since it had been a while since I have been near that much water (okay, so I DID go to the beach in February, but it FEELS like a long time!). We saw lots of interesting things (and people), but were both ready to come back, get into our pajamas, and rest our legs!

I thought I took more pictures, but guess I didn't...these do a pretty good job of showing what we did, so I decided to make a little slide show. The sea lions were pretty funny and I did make a movie of them as well, but can't figure out how to load it (I'm striking out in the technology department tonight...I had a hard time making the slide show too!).



Well, I suppose I should do something else productive (my friend is doing homework otherwise I would say that I SHOULD be visiting with HER!). We have more fun planned for tomorrow, so I'm sure there will be more pictures :o)

Prayers especially tonight to the little ones at my hospital who are struggling, and for their families. I LOVE being on vacation, but does kind of make me sad to be so far away when people I care about are hurting. However, I guess I wouldn't be able to do MUCH more than pray even if I was just down the street...so, I am sending prayers from California, just as I would if I were in the same room, the same building, or down the street :o) Good night.

Birthday Vacation Day One

This morning I was thinking about what I would have to write tonight as I was packing for my trip (so, I may have a "blogging issue"...I think I already knew that!). I realized that some people in this world never leave their village, town, or city. Many people have never have been on an airplane, and will never have that opportunity. And yet, I was able to travel halfway across the country to spent time with family and friends just to celebrate my birthday and "hang out". And this is DEFINITELY not the first time I have been able to take a vacation and travel. I feel SO blessed to be able to do this, especially when I actually sat down and thought about what a "big deal" it really is (one of those things I would typically take for granted, but am in the process of learning I should not take ANYTHING for granted!) Of course, I was ALSO blessed enough to have had a free plane ticket, and places to stay which cut the cost of a vacation down TREMENDOUSLY!

My connecting flight was a little delayed, but I made it to Sacramento in pretty good time. My friend was there to meet me and we made our way back to where she is currently living :o) My first culinary experience was at Cindy's where I had my first Ceviche (yum!) and got my first lesson in wine tasting. I'm not used to "fine dining", so it was pretty darn funny if I do say so myself.

Well, it is after Midnight LOCAL time, so quite a bit later "body time" so I should get to bed. We have a busy day planned for tomorrow.

Good night from California!

Twelve Hours

My mom is picking me up for the airport in TWELVE hours! I am about half-way packed, although I'm not sure how the rest of the stuff will fit into my already full suitcase (I'm definitely thinking it could be over the weight limit, so may need to do some reorganizing of items). While I know I could re-wear clothes, what would that do to my pictures?! ;o) I'm sure I'll figure something out, but decided to take a little break to write my last post from home for a while. I discovered last night that I don't go back to work until Halloween. That is SO crazy!

I felt TONS better today (I never actually did feel "sick" but WAS worried that was coming!). It was a "steady" day at work, but not too busy. I did a bit of "visiting" in between "work stuff" (although, I think that interacting with the families should be a PART of the "work" stuff...the FUN part for me, plus it's the part that has taught me even more than the "technical" side of the job).

Well, I suppose I should either finish packing or go to bed. Good night from here :o)

I am NOT getting sick!

I CANNOT get sick! I am leaving for vacation in less than 40 hours. While there is NO good time to be sick, this is REALLY not a good time. So, I am telling myself I am not getting sick, and hope that works (along with a little extra Vitamin C...my mom also said something about getting some "rest", but seeing as it is after 10 and I am not ready for bed yet, I don't see an early bedtime in my future tonight!).

This morning, I started with a "tickle" in my throat that sort of developed into a "frog". Then I started coughing like crazy (choking on my own saliva for some reason was my excuse :o) ) for a short period of time. Then, that all went away and I felt SO HOT. I'm a really "hot blooded person" and the temperature changed here quite a bit, so the hospital probably switched over to heat already. I refused to take my temperature...I didn't want to know (plus, I really DIDN'T feel sick, just annoyed at the possibility that I could potentially be getting some sort of cold)

Getting a flu shot this morning probably wasn't my most brilliant idea. However, I WILL be going on an airplane (or two or five) and be breathing different air. So, maybe it wasn't a TERRIBLE idea either.

Well, I suppose I should either be doing some packing or heading to bed. Good night.

Looking Back

So, I'm pretty bad at keeping "secrets" (well, not at keeping OTHER people's secrets!). On Monday, I spent a good part of the day looking at pictures from my scrapbooks. I am VERY far behind on them, but I do have scrapbooks from when I was born until I was about 15. Then, I made ones for college. It was SO fun looking back at old pictures, and made me even more excited to see my old friends! (Wow, I managed to type that and NOT give away any good information on my "secret"...maybe I'm better than I thought!) Last night, I told my Bible Study leaders I would be gone next week since I am celebrating my birthday in California. She was really surprised when I told her that it would be my 29th birthday! What can I say, I have "good genes"! I do, however, think that I look a little more "grown up" than I did in my college pictures (even if I haven't actually "grown up"!) This picture is hard to tell, but it was a fun time (hard to believe it was taken almost exactly SEVEN years ago! Time sure does fly!)

Hello, my Texas/California friend...see you in three days!!! I guess I'll have to start packing "tomorrow"!

Today was a pretty busy day at work. I showed up late, with a fairly positive attitude and ended up getting what I was hoping for in terms of patient assignment. Nice how that works sometimes :o) Thankfully one of the nurses was not busy because she did a TON of stuff to help me today. I'm pretty tired, even though it really SHOULDN'T have been a crazy day (staying up until after 11:30 when the alarm goes off at 5:30 could be part of the problem considering how much I love my sleep!)

I lit my candle late tonight since I had dinner with my parents after work. So, I messed up "the wave" a little bit, but it's the thought that counts, right?! At last check, Angie had nearly 1600 comments on her post about today's Day of Remembrance. I read through quite a few of them and, while it was REALLY sad, it also was REALLY cool that those people were willing to share their story and give others the opportunity to pray for them. That's a whole lot of praying going on...amazing!

Well, back for more work tomorrow! Good night!

Cold and Rainy

The past two days have been cold and rainy. I guess it kind of goes with the emotions of these days. I do actually LOVE the rain, and the cooler weather brings the comfort of sweatshirts, warm socks, and blankets. I'm NOT ready for snow and ice, but rainy and cool is fine :o)

There is a lot I wanted to write, but it is already kind of late and I need to finish up some laundry before I go to bed. Little "E" is hanging in there, I visited my "A-team" girl and her mom today, and the "baby" is officially one year old. I go back to work tomorrow for three days before my vacation. I am hoping I can keep my cool in the morning and not worry about "the list". What is meant to happen will happen, and I will not be doing it alone :o)

It has come to my attention that tomorrow, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day . As part of that day, there is to be a Wave of Light (I'm not sure if I did this whole "link" thing correctly, but I think you can get to the site by clicking on this Post's title as well...). I will actually be at work during "my time" for this Wave of Light, but will plan to light a candle when I get home. I visited Angie's blog and she is doing something VERY neat there. I scrolled through over 500 stories of families who have lost babies and prayed for them...I am sure there are even more stories now. What a blessing to all those families to be able to put their stories somewhere to share, and get prayers they may or may not have received at the time off their loss.

So, to Angie , Emily, Kristy, Kenzie, Kim, Angie, Chrissy, and all the others who have shared their babies and their stories with me, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today (as you are every day). You and your children have blessed me more than you know.

Good night. (That still took me thirty minutes to type...all that "linking"! I'd better do my laundry quick and head to bed...still haven't started packing for my trip!)

Emotional Weekend

Whatever tears I managed to hold back the past couple days came out today...and I am very tired, but think writing will help, so I will try...

Yesterday was another VERY busy day at work. I had the same patients, but the doctors kept adding more and more medications to my already busy patients. I TRIED to put things into perspective by thinking that as much as it "sucked" for me to have to give all these meds, at least they weren't going into me and I didn't have to be "messed with" every time. Also, I "signed up" for this...my patients did not. That did help for a little while. One of my patients started losing her hair in chunks from her chemo treatments the week before. While the mom didn't cry in my presence, I could see the sadness in her eyes, and feel it in the room. I managed to fight back my own tears (because, if the mom can, then I should be able to, right?!), but it made for a rough time, knowing this is only the beginning of the very difficult times ahead of them.

While at work, I found out that my "A-team" girl was going to be life-flighted in. That made me SO sad because as much as I love her and her family, I was REALLY loving being able to "love them" from a few states away. I also know how difficult the family separation is, and this family has had to do A LOT of that. I also heard that this girl who game so close to death in July was once again very sick...

After a LONG day at work, I decided to go ahead and attend a party. It was at the head transplant surgeon's house and I had gone the past three years. I was hungry and it was free food (and drinks), so why NOT go?! I "freshened up" and went by myself (my two potential "dates" both cancelled on me, but my original plan was to go alone, so that was okay). I talked to LOTS of different people and it was a really fun time! I am a pretty social person, but it is hard to know who you will find to talk to at those kinds of things. I was glad to quickly find a group to sit with for dinner and then "mingled" for a while. I was one of the last people to leave which is pretty funny considering most people wouldn't consider me a "party person". It was after 1:00 by the time I got settled in at home and decided sleep was more important than journaling (good thing too because I'm not sure how I would have handled today on any less sleep, and I didn't get up until about 9:30!)

I decided it was about time to go back to the choir Mass since it has been a LONG time since I have seen some of those people. I have either been working on Sundays or going to 9:00 with my parents so I have more of the day to do stuff. Since it had been so long, I figured that I would just sit wherever there was room, recalling this incident . That lady wasn't there, so I did sit in "my spot", but she came late, so I calmly and quickly moved over :o)

This afternoon, I helped with my hospital's annual "Perinatal and Pediatric Memorial Service". I have helped with other bereavement things like making sure cards are sent to families after their child passes away, but this was my first time to attend the Memorial Service. I was looking forward to being a part of it. Earlier in the week, I received a preliminary copy of the program with the part that I was going to read. I noticed that the reading was to be Psalm 139. Next to that, it read "Very Good Reader"...apparently, they wanted a "very good reader" to do that. When I saw that, I thought I am a very good reader :o), but decided to wait and see what happened. So, today I "nonchalantly" asked the chaplain who would be reading it. He said that the person who was going to read it was sick, so he was going to do it. I asked if I could read it since I am "a very good reader" :o) He was a bit hesitant, so I told him I would practice it for him. He acted like he would be okay without that, but I did it anyway. Psalm 139 has a very special meaning to me now and it was an honor to be given the opportunity to do that reading at the service. Only one person shared during the "time for remembering", but in talking to a couple people and seeing how they were affected by the service, I think it was a very special time for these families. It was a blessing to be a part of this, even though I didn't really end up visiting with many of the families.

Before I left for the service, I sent a quick email to the parents of my "A" girl letting them know I would be around this afternoon if they needed to make a "Target run". I'm not sure where the idea came from, and wasn't sure if they would take me up on my offer, but it was out there "just in case". I was pleasantly surprised to have a message from her mom when I was done with the service. Apparently, they had been discussing how to make a run to Target without a car. I was an answer to their prayers, they said...WOW, what a blessing that was to hear! Something SO simple to me can make SUCH a huge difference to someone else. (To be honest, I wanted to see her, give her a hug, and visit with her anyway, so it wasn't really a "selfless" offer...she has been SUCH a blessing to me!)

I had made plans to attend a birthday party for "the baby" who will be turning ONE on Tuesday! Yes, the same "Baby" I wrote about 6 months ago today when doctors thought without a transplant, he would die in a day or two. Look at him today!!

Before the party, I decided to have "family dinner" with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law (tuna casserole, of course!). When I was about to leave for the party, I received a call from the charge nurse at work. Little "E" was not doing well. Her heart had stopped earlier in the day. They didn't think she would make it through the night. Her mom was alone. Her husband couldn't come until late tonight. There wasn't really anyone who could sit with her.

This little girl who took her first unassisted steps last weekend when I was her nurse was not going to make it through the night?! Her mom was alone?! But, the birthday party was SO important to me. His mom is my friend too. I sat holding her hand for HOURS as we prayed, watching his blood pressure, wondering what God had planned for him. Today was a very special day to celebrate his life. But, could I feel "okay" knowing that I easily could have gone to the hospital to support this mom and didn't?

I decided to "stop by" the party before going to the hospital. I told my friend what was going on (even though I didn't really want to spoil her celebration, I kind of needed to hear from her what I should do). She told me to go, and to let the mom know they were praying as well. It was only three blocks to the hospital, but I cried the whole way. What was I going to find when I got there? Am I strong enough to do this? Would she even REALLY want me there? I could not do this alone, and so I prayed (and sent a text message to someone I KNEW would immediately cover me in prayer and let me explain later...thanks Kristy!).

I didn't know which room she was in, where her mom would be, or what the circumstances were. So, I tried to get some information from some of the PICU workers. Of course, they all ended up being people who don't like me for some reason. They all said that the mom was fine, she had people with her, and basically I wasn't needed. Ok, fine, I'm okay with that, I guess. So, I stood staring at the elevator for a minute or two wondering if I should just go find her and risk facing more of the same unkindness. As I was praying about what to do, her mom came out of the ICU to use the restroom. Oh what perfect timing! She was glad that I had come, and invited me in. At that point, her daughter had stabilized a little bit with better blood pressures. I suppose things are still "touch and go", but there is still some hope that she could possibly pull through this. I stayed for a while, but her mom was there, her husband was coming, and she was looking a little better, so I headed back to the birthday party.

I had a nice visit with my friend and her husband. Hopefully I will be able to spend some of Tuesday with them since I was a bit of a wreck today. I shared with her my feelings about "the list" and how frustrating that is for me. I think my biggest issue with it is that I preferred it being more of a private relationship. And, I still want to be able to have a "choice"...I don't think that should be taken away from me (especially, since there are other patients I like whose parents would probably have me on "their list" as well...so, whose "list" has more "power"?! I think this could become an issue!)

Sometimes people think that I get "too involved", so it is better to not make a really big deal out of having a "special relationship" with my patients. I may get really "involved", but don't think there is any "too" about it. Sure, it makes for some pretty emotional days, but I have been blessed because of the days that come before and after the sad ones. There some kind of saying "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"...would I take back those days of sitting with my friend wondering if her son would die without a transplant and miss the joy I have in seeing him today? No way! Would I take back experiencing the joy of seeing "E" take her first steps with her mom last week to take away the sadness I feel when I today could be the last time I see her alive? No way! Working with these kids and their families is a huge blessing to me, and I feel like this is where I am supposed to be. Plus, more than once, I have heard that when parents feel like their nurse cares deeply enough about their child to even shed a tear or two, it makes a HUGE difference.

And so, tonight I am sad. Yes, I have been crying. No, they are not "my kids", it is not "my family", but my heart still hurts, and I don't think there is anything "wrong" with that.

Prayers to all of these families, and to all those families who have allowed me to be a part of their child's "story".

Good night.

Wrong Side of the Bed

The other side of the bed is a WALL, so I didn't REALLY have a choice. However, getting up out of the wrong side of the bed is the only "good" explanation for how this morning went. I was a pretty darn crabby person, which is not good when that "person" has a job taking care of sick kids in a hospital! Plus, I just had THREE days off and I am going on a TEN DAY VACATION in a week...no excuse for crabbiness...besides getting up on the wrong side of the bed!

Problem number one could have been that I rolled out of bed at 6:15ish. I decided that taking a late afternoon bath yesterday meant I was clean enough to go to a hospital today :o) I then dragged myself to work and clocked in a minute or two before 7. As I was was clocking in, I heard the familiar sound of my name matched with "my patient". Pretty great, huh, my patient already chosen for me! At this point, I was glad because I would have tried to "pick" her anyway. Then came word of "The List". I'm thinking this could have been "problem number two"...

I like this patient. I like her family. They like me. Perfect, right?! If given a choice, more times than not I WOULD, in fact CHOOSE to be her nurse. Apparently, on Wednesday, the family created a "list" of about seven nurses they want to take care of their child. Yes, my name is on "the list" (of COURSE, we like each other and get along VERY well!). Now, this normally would be very flattering, and it actually is an honor to be liked, especially by these presumably "picky" people. However, this just seemed to rub me the wrong way this morning. I liked the "virtual list", you know, the unwritten one where everyone kind of assumed I would take her, but would still have a CHOICE. I didn't enjoy the idea of not really having a choice. I also liked it better when it was just between the family and me instead of everyone knowing that I was one of "the chosen ones" (This whole "list thing" did get put into perspective for me as the day progressed, but at first it was a pretty big "issue" for me.)

Then, this patient had become EXTREMELY busy between Monday and today. I really had a tough time coordinating all of her care while trying not to completely ignore the needs of my other patient (thank goodness I only had one other one!). I think this was frustrating to me that I felt so incompetent to take care of a busy patient which only made things worse. I didn't want to talk to anyone (and, those I did end up speaking to likely regretted trying to communicate with me). It was NOT fun at all, even though the whole time I was thinking "I am so crabby, I need to snap out of this, pull yourself together, etc." So, I KNEW I was a mess, but didn't know how to stop it (one of those things I am supposed to be "working on" as part of my performance evaluation...evidently, I still need work!) In the midst of all this, the calm, quiet voice of the charge said it best "you can only do one thing at a time"...oh yeah, good point! Then, there is a fabulous person on the transplant team that I just love. Whenever I see her I just HAVE to smile. She came around at 11 and asked where I had been all morning. I asked her where SHE had been when I was needing someone to at least TRY and force me into a smile! Today she specifically picked out a pair of earrings since she knew I was working. How sweet is that?! (She bought them from the jewelry party I had.)

So, what seemed like it was going to be an endless day of crabbiness actually turned the corner at 11 (which DID seem like an eternity, four hours is a LONG time when you are grouchy!). I was able to make fun of my crabby self the rest of the day, and hope I didn't make too many people miserable during that time.

The little girl actually had a pretty rough day (which, to put in perspective, all the stuff I had to do, I had to do to HER, so I imagine she didn't have any more fun than I did!). She just kept crying on and off all day long. At one point she said "Mommy, my heart is sad" (the other day, she was crying about something that didn't REALLY need to be cried about and her mom pointed that out and she said "but grandma said it is okay to cry when you are sad". Yes, sweetheart, it is.) During one of her crying sessions, I talked to her about some of the good things that had happened, some of the not-so-fun things that were done for the day, and some things to look forward to tomorrow. I told her that sometimes when I am crabby, or have sad days, I try and at least come up with ONE good thing. Through sobs, she asked if I had a coloring book at home because sometimes that helps...as a matter of fact, I do, and coloring does have a way of making things better :o) (although, I'm not a very good "colorer", so it is a LITTLE more stressful for me than for the average person!)

This story kind of goes along with today's "Quote of the Day"--"When one teaches, two learn." ~Robert Half--although, it is up for debate on who the "teacher" was.

Both of us ended the day on a pretty good note. I'm back for more tomorrow. SURELY it will be a better day--going in with a positive attitude typically DOES help :o)

My little "A" girl is still in the hospital and could use some prayers. The doctors there are concerned about a few things. I am praying that she will get better without having to come here for treatment. Her parents would appreciate prayers.

Well, I suppose I should head to bed. It's nearly 11:00 and somehow I need to make sure I get out of bed on the right side in the morning :o) Hopefully a little sleep helps with that! Good night.

Shelves are Good

For some reason, I didn't sleep very well last night. I woke up around 3:30 and was awake on and off until 5:30 or so. I had some pretty crazy dreams in the middle of all that. Of COURSE, then I didn't want to get up when my alarm went off at 8:30 (I was being optimistic that if my alarm went off early I'd get up early and get LOTS done...ha ha, it RARELY works like that in "my world"!) I did make it to Curves by 9:45, so not TOO bad.

I ate breakfast, drank some coffee, and then got to work. Thanks to some tunes provided by Kristy's blog , I managed to stay somewhat on task. Working on six rooms at once is a bit unconventional, but since I am easily distracted, it seemed to work okay. When I wandered into the kitchen, I did a few things there. Put away some things in the bathroom. Folded laundry in my bedroom. Cleared off the couch (well, SORT of...for a little while anyway!). A little erratic cleaning, but things DO look a little bit better around here.




I took a nice long bath, because, you know, I needed some "quiet time alone"...I mean, procrastinate for an hour. I did a little bit of reading, and of course some singing along with my iPod (that's not TOO much information, right?!). And, trying to avoid doing any more picking up than absolute necessary in one day...mission accomplished!

My dad came over and hung some shelves for me. I can hardly believe that there is a FLOOR in my office! It still isn't QUITE a functional office or scrapbooking room, but I'm feeling like it is on the way to being a useful space. I'm laughing that I chose to use teeny tiny pictures to show all the new shelves, but it works. The two new black shelves are in my guest room. I still haven't gotten the curtain rods hung back up after the painting project Summer 2007...I didn't want to push my limits with my dad since power tools really aren't his thing...next time :o)

The three new white shelves are in my office. I'm not EXACTLY sure what I will do with them. However, I have quite a few "knick knack" type things that I'm not quite ready to get rid of, so they may find a home on one of the shelves. I do have some white baskets that might work, and the photo boxes look okay. I have TONS of photos and scrapbook-type stuff that is not really organized. I also have a lot of scrapbook supplies. I figure there are lots of different ways to make this room functional, however I MAY not be able to figure that part out alone (calling all organized members of my family!)

When I was going through things, I found some pictures from when I had short hair. I will have to scan the pictures from the last time I donated my hair one of my next days off since I didn't end up doing that today. Since I have a "thing" with dates, I am thinking it would be really cool to donate again on November 4, which is exactly four years since I did it the last time. However, I'm not sure if my sister will be off, and do not know if my hair is QUITE long enough yet. It will be a pretty drastic change when I do it, so of COURSE I will post photos (for the five people who read this!)

Well, back to work tomorrow, so I suppose I should go to bed. My little "A" girl is still in the hospital, but hopefully she will get to go home soon. Prayers to her and her family tonight.

Good night.

Not Much

What did I do today? Not Much. That's pretty sad considering there is a LOT I could have done! Oh well, I have NO plans for tomorrow, so I suppose as long as I don't have to use "Not Much" as the same title, I should be "okay", right?!

I did go work out this morning, but still haven't quite gotten back in a good routine of doing that. I really need to, especially since I am just as addicted to the new season of "The Biggest Loser" as I have been in previous seasons.

I went and met the "random woman "who called me last week and her adorable 4-year-old son. I figured out that she got my number from a woman at Curves (who got my number from the owner)...mystery solved...and yes, the woman's name was "Carolyn". Anyway, they are looking to have an occasional baby-sitter when they need to go to various work-related functions for her husband. I let her know my schedule is pretty "random" and I will be pretty "hit and miss", but to go ahead and call me whenever. While I cannot be COMPLETELY sure, it seems like this could be a pretty lucrative "gig"...considering where they have lived, where they live now, and where their child goes to school. They seemed VERY nice. It sounds like I may have to brush up on my animal knowledge :o)

After that, I went and did a little shopping. Always a bargain shopper, I got two new shirts and a pair of pants for less than $30. Then, I went to Hallmark with a coupon so spent less than $2. I had a car wash coupon too, so did that on the way home.

I made myself some salsa using tomatoes from the garden of one of my patients. It turned out pretty well, except they didn't have any "medium" packets at the store, so it would be better if I added some onions and/or peppers. I made a double batch, so I can eat chips and salsa for days (almost like Heaven...ha ha!...I do love me some chips and salsa though!).

My friend invited me to a soccer game, so I went with her. It was absolutely GORGEOUS outside, so I am really glad I had a reason to be sitting out there. I don't spend nearly as much time outdoors as I should... It was a good game, fun to be outside, and great to be with a friend dong something out of the ordinary.

Yep, not much...still have all the clutter in my kitchen, living room, and office... I should probably set some goals for tomorrow so the day doesn't get away from me! Maybe I'll go to bed at a decent hour so I get up earlier and have more time to "get focused" :o)

Good night!

Worth it

Today was my day off. After spending most of the past three days at the hospital, one would think I would want to stay far away. However, I went there today for a good reason.

Back in January, this precious little girl passed away after complications following a transplant.

She had been a foster child, so her parents and 5-year-old brother have been at the foster parent gatherings I have attended. At one of the gatherings, her mom mentioned that she REALLY wanted to go visit, since she had toys to donate and books to return. However, every time she packed up the car to go, she couldn't do it. Completely valid reaction in my opinion. So, I asked if it would be easier to go if I met her there and we went to the floors together. She thought that would be helpful, and today was the day.

She brought bagels for the nurses, which was really nice. I was her escort as we went from here to there, and made phone calls to make sure she could see as many people as possible. It actually would have been pretty challenging to do on her own, even if she WASN'T doing it as the mother of a child who died there. I knew the phone numbers, and had the badge that let us into "restricted" areas. It made her so happy to be able to say thank you to many of the people who took care of her daughter. It was SO worth it to me to help make sure today happened for her and her son.

They took me out to lunch and we had a nice visit. She listened to me tell my story of the conversation I had with my mom last night (next paragraph for THAT!) We talked a lot about her little girl, and their hopes of adopting another child. (We ran into one of the caseworkers from our agency in the hospital and her son said "we need to talk to her about getting us another child"...) It was definitely good for both of us. Totally worth going to work on my day off (plus that was a very easy, and fairly good, reason to not do anything to my house!)

My mom had never really shown any kind of support for my desire to be a foster mom. We have a really good relationship, but NOT really good at having "tough" conversations. Last night, in the middle of a conversation that ran the gamut of topics, she said something like "I would help you as much as I could"...What?! My tearful response included "that is the first time you have EVER said anything like that". She then did the whole "this idea came out of nowhere/I didn't know what your 'plan' was" bit which was a little annoying seeing as I've wanted to be a foster parent since I was like twelve, I have been talking about it for at LEAST a year, I took classes SIX months ago, had my home study, and have been going to foster parent gatherings... Anyway, it was a bit emotional. She expressed that she wasn't sure she could open her heart up like that. I told her that I believe I would perfect for foster parenthood because I like being able to do little things that make a big difference. I don't think I would mind being a "stepping stone" (of course, I haven't actually "been there", so don't know for certain, but that is something I think I'd be good at). So, while that didn't really SOLVE anything, at least we had an open conversation.

Tonight I had my Bible Study and it went well. I actually participated quite a bit, maybe one of the people who talked the most. (I did get hives...I've been getting those more often these days...what's up with that?! See my "No Hives" post for more details about THAT!) Hopefully I didn't participate TOO much, but I think I stuck to the topic, didn't speak out of turn, and didn't talk too long :o) I definitely don't want to be "that person"!

My little "A-Team" girl is in the hospital tonight. Thankfully, she has been able to remain close to home this admission. Praying this is a short stay and she will be back at home with her family soon. There are also several other "bloggers" who have requested prayers today/tonight, so I'm keeping them in my prayers as well.

Well, it's after midnight, and even though I don't have anything planned for tomorrow, I suppose I shouldn't stay awake all night just because I can :o) Good night!

5 Years!

5 years ago today, I stepped foot on my unit for the first time. Little did I know how much I would learn. I never could have imagined how many tears I would cry. I didn't know that I would be given the opportunity to witness miracles. I had no idea that my life could be forever changed by people I would meet...

In fact, I wasn't even sure I WANTED to work on this floor, or even at this hospital. It definitely wasn't my plan. The place I thought I wanted to work wasn't hiring. I needed to move back home, but also needed a job. On a whim, I decided I should at least apply since I was headed back to Rhode Island the next day and needed to give myself another option. I went casual, and before eating anything. I just was going to fill out an application and leave. Then, they asked if I wanted to "meet" the manager. That turned into an "interview" which I totally thought I "bombed" (since I was "starving" and definitely not prepared). The next week, I was hired...and they held my position for three months...until October 6, 2003.

What a blessing that I "ended up" here! This place feels like it was MADE for me! I love what I do! Every day I am given the opportunity to make a difference. I have taken care of kids from nearly half the States, and a couple different countries. I have met all different kinds of families. I have been there when a child is near death and lives. I have been there when a child dies. I have been there after a family received "the call" for transplant...a second chance. I have been there when parents get to take a child out of the hospital who wasn't expected to live to that day. I have laughed, I have cried...

Happy times, sad times. Rewarding times, frustrating times. Good days, bad days. These past years have definitely changed me. I am a more understanding person. I listen better. I know a lot more about grief. I have learned that each day is a gift that should be treasured, for no one is promised tomorrow. I love what my job and the people there have done to me. I have always had the care, compassion, and desire to help people in need, and this job has given me an amazing opportunity to take that to the next level.

I celebrated today by bringing guacamole to share (everyone enjoyed it!). I no longer have to float to adult floors!! I wore a new scrub top my dad bought that I'm pretty sure EVERY single person who talked to me today told me they liked it (I told him thank you MANY times!). I got a dark chocolate bar from the Director (my manager was sick today). Apparently, I will have a choice of a watch, clock, or $50 gift card, but haven't heard anything first-hand. I got a card from one of my patients that said "Happy 5 years & Thanks for taking good care of me!" (she is 5 years old :o) ) along with a special sticker she picked out for me. I thought that was SO sweet!

Speaking of my patients...I had another great day with the three of them. (I heard a story of a nurse who heard that I had those three patients who said "eww, who gave her THAT terrible assignment?!"...to which the response was that I was THRILLED with it! And, that is the truth! Those families may need a little more TLC than most, but giving a little extra TLC is what I'm there for, so it works for me!).

Yay for 5 years! I think 5 years at the same job is actually kind of a big milestone these days. I made it, and I think I'm ready for at least another 5 more! Cheers!

After work, I had a very interesting/emotional conversation with my mom...I'll try and remember to write about it tomorrow. Today was a day to celebrate, so I will leave it at that.

Good night.

Not QUITE as"great"

but pretty darn good!

Well, I suppose after using that much energy yesterday being so excited, I was bound to be a bit tired today! (I was awake until nearly midnight since I had some adrenaline going, so the 5:30 alarm did not thrill me.) This week has some tough shoes to fill!

I got to take care of my three fabulous patients from yesterday again today. I actually had kind of weird/awkward experiences with all three of the families today which did make for an interesting day (which, I guess was SORT of good in a way since the weekends tend to be a little boring, however, not all of them were "good" awkward...) It's still kind of crazy to me that these people all seem to love having me as their kid's nurse, but I'll take it :o) (Although, the fact that I at least try to treat each kid like they are the most important person in the world may contribute to my "likability factor"...because, what parent DOESN'T think their kid is the most important person in the world?! Also, EVERYONE likes to feel like they are special...and I know first-hand that one kind gesture can go a LONG way!)

Anyway, pretty darn good day...really, no complaints needed :o) Tomorrow is a REALLY special day for me and I'm SUPER excited...hopefully I won't be too tired when I get off work because I already have a post brewing and it may be another one of those "can my fingers type as fast as my brain is thinking" nights!

Well, maybe I should head to bed at a decent hour tonight (especially since I have to wash my hair tomorrow...the longer it gets, the longer it takes to blow it dry!). At least I already know who my patients are, so I don't have to show up "super early" to pick them!

Good night. (Oh, I think it is SO cool that my "ticker" countdown now starts with 1 week...yay!)