Wrong Side of the Bed

The other side of the bed is a WALL, so I didn't REALLY have a choice. However, getting up out of the wrong side of the bed is the only "good" explanation for how this morning went. I was a pretty darn crabby person, which is not good when that "person" has a job taking care of sick kids in a hospital! Plus, I just had THREE days off and I am going on a TEN DAY VACATION in a week...no excuse for crabbiness...besides getting up on the wrong side of the bed!

Problem number one could have been that I rolled out of bed at 6:15ish. I decided that taking a late afternoon bath yesterday meant I was clean enough to go to a hospital today :o) I then dragged myself to work and clocked in a minute or two before 7. As I was was clocking in, I heard the familiar sound of my name matched with "my patient". Pretty great, huh, my patient already chosen for me! At this point, I was glad because I would have tried to "pick" her anyway. Then came word of "The List". I'm thinking this could have been "problem number two"...

I like this patient. I like her family. They like me. Perfect, right?! If given a choice, more times than not I WOULD, in fact CHOOSE to be her nurse. Apparently, on Wednesday, the family created a "list" of about seven nurses they want to take care of their child. Yes, my name is on "the list" (of COURSE, we like each other and get along VERY well!). Now, this normally would be very flattering, and it actually is an honor to be liked, especially by these presumably "picky" people. However, this just seemed to rub me the wrong way this morning. I liked the "virtual list", you know, the unwritten one where everyone kind of assumed I would take her, but would still have a CHOICE. I didn't enjoy the idea of not really having a choice. I also liked it better when it was just between the family and me instead of everyone knowing that I was one of "the chosen ones" (This whole "list thing" did get put into perspective for me as the day progressed, but at first it was a pretty big "issue" for me.)

Then, this patient had become EXTREMELY busy between Monday and today. I really had a tough time coordinating all of her care while trying not to completely ignore the needs of my other patient (thank goodness I only had one other one!). I think this was frustrating to me that I felt so incompetent to take care of a busy patient which only made things worse. I didn't want to talk to anyone (and, those I did end up speaking to likely regretted trying to communicate with me). It was NOT fun at all, even though the whole time I was thinking "I am so crabby, I need to snap out of this, pull yourself together, etc." So, I KNEW I was a mess, but didn't know how to stop it (one of those things I am supposed to be "working on" as part of my performance evaluation...evidently, I still need work!) In the midst of all this, the calm, quiet voice of the charge said it best "you can only do one thing at a time"...oh yeah, good point! Then, there is a fabulous person on the transplant team that I just love. Whenever I see her I just HAVE to smile. She came around at 11 and asked where I had been all morning. I asked her where SHE had been when I was needing someone to at least TRY and force me into a smile! Today she specifically picked out a pair of earrings since she knew I was working. How sweet is that?! (She bought them from the jewelry party I had.)

So, what seemed like it was going to be an endless day of crabbiness actually turned the corner at 11 (which DID seem like an eternity, four hours is a LONG time when you are grouchy!). I was able to make fun of my crabby self the rest of the day, and hope I didn't make too many people miserable during that time.

The little girl actually had a pretty rough day (which, to put in perspective, all the stuff I had to do, I had to do to HER, so I imagine she didn't have any more fun than I did!). She just kept crying on and off all day long. At one point she said "Mommy, my heart is sad" (the other day, she was crying about something that didn't REALLY need to be cried about and her mom pointed that out and she said "but grandma said it is okay to cry when you are sad". Yes, sweetheart, it is.) During one of her crying sessions, I talked to her about some of the good things that had happened, some of the not-so-fun things that were done for the day, and some things to look forward to tomorrow. I told her that sometimes when I am crabby, or have sad days, I try and at least come up with ONE good thing. Through sobs, she asked if I had a coloring book at home because sometimes that helps...as a matter of fact, I do, and coloring does have a way of making things better :o) (although, I'm not a very good "colorer", so it is a LITTLE more stressful for me than for the average person!)

This story kind of goes along with today's "Quote of the Day"--"When one teaches, two learn." ~Robert Half--although, it is up for debate on who the "teacher" was.

Both of us ended the day on a pretty good note. I'm back for more tomorrow. SURELY it will be a better day--going in with a positive attitude typically DOES help :o)

My little "A" girl is still in the hospital and could use some prayers. The doctors there are concerned about a few things. I am praying that she will get better without having to come here for treatment. Her parents would appreciate prayers.

Well, I suppose I should head to bed. It's nearly 11:00 and somehow I need to make sure I get out of bed on the right side in the morning :o) Hopefully a little sleep helps with that! Good night.