Do I have anything to say?: Adjusting

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Adjusting

I think the time difference has affected me more at the end of my vacation than it did at the beginning. That makes me grateful that I gave myself a few extra days to recover before I have to go back to work!

When I arrived home yesterday morning, it took me quite a while to "wind down". I am not a night owl by any means, and I do love my sleep, so it was really annoying to not fall asleep until 3:00 knowing that I needed to get up at a decent hour to get some things accomplished. Then, I figured that if I kept myself from taking a nap and spent some time in the outdoors, I could get myself back into my "routine". Unfortunately, I got a "second wind" and don't think I fell asleep until nearly 1:00. So, of COURSE then I couldn't get up at a decent hour, then took a nap this afternoon so I wouldn't fall asleep in my meeting or at my Bible Study. Now, it's nearly midnight and, while I'm sleepy, my mind is racing and am not sure I would be able to "be still" unless I write some of what is on my mind (although it probably won't make much sense!)

I have friends who are hurting. This makes my heart very sad. I don't think my sleep issues have helped matters. I went to sleep with tears in my eyes. When I woke up, they were still there. I read what Kristy wrote this morning, and I lost it. I managed to pull myself together long enough to go work out, but the tears came back as soon as I arrived home and read an email I received. Tears of sadness, tears of appreciation, tears of friendship, tears for reasons unknown. I was a mess, and so I decided just to take a nap...and attempted to "escape" for a while. It wasn't a very restful sleep, but I guess it lasted longer than I expected. My meeting went well, I had dinner with a friend, and it was nice to go to Bible Study after missing last week (although I will admit to being a little distracted, I did get something out of it!). When I got home, I read what Emily had written and the tears just started flowing. Good thing I didn't watch my "tape" of Oprah's special on "miracle children" because I cried enough watching The Biggest Loser!

Well, that seems like enough to slow down the races going on in my head...praying for my friends tonight, and thanking God for all the wonderful people He has placed in my life. I am so blessed.

Good night.

1 comment:

Laurie in Ca. said...: Hi Amanda,

I am so glad you had such a wonderful time out here in California and you got home safely too. Give yourself a few days to adjust and you will be back in the swing of things. I too could relate so much to what Kristy wrote this morning and it really ministered to me. We are all on this same journey to some extent and it is so good to know we are not alone. I hope your day is blessed and you can catch up on much needed rest.

Love, Laurie in Ca.; 29 October, 2008 10:40

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This blog purposefully is left full name and location free out of respect to my family and to my patients/families. Due to the nature of my work, and having foster children in my home, it is important to maintain privacy and confidentiality. All photographs of patients were either given to me by the families or taken with family permission. Thank you for your understanding and support in helping me protect myself and "my people" =) If you have any questions, or want to know more about me, feel free to email me at iloveblogs44 {at} gmail {dot} com.

Who's Who

Updated September 2013

I have one sister who is married and has two boys. "A" was born June 2009 and "I" was born March 2012. We are both really close to my parents and have lots of "family dinners".

I wrote a lot about my patients when I first started this blog. Some patients are still growing and thriving, and others have lost their battles.

My first foster placements lived with me from June 2010-September 2011. They were sisters who were 15 and almost 3 when they were placed with me and are now 18 and 5. I called M "the teen" and L "the little one". They live with their mom who still has many issues, but are doing well (ok) and I still have (not enough) contact with them.

My second foster placement came to me September 6, 2012. I call her Zoe and she turned 5 in April. She has cystic fibrosis and has been a patient on my floor at the hospital. The plan is still reunification.

Ivy is a 17-year-old whose mom died just before Thanksgiving. She has a Guardian, but is unable to live with him due to some family issues. She has no other family who is willing/able to take her. She moved in with me the beginning of February. She moved to a group home at the beginning of August as her needs were too great for me with my schedule and having another child with special needs.