Being at work also mean that I didn't get to watch "my" football games (with the teen). I caught parts of one of them while I was running around at work and during my lunch break, but it wasn't the same.
I received a frantic voice mail from the teen's mom shortly before 11:00 this morning. She hasn't called since about that time LAST Saturday (yes, an entire week went by without her checking on us). Since I was at work, I didn't have my phone with me. As "chance" would have it, I got her voice mail only about 10 minutes after she left it. She told me in the message that they found her nephew dead this morning and she wanted to talk to the teen. I quickly got on the phone to call the teen at my house to see if her mom had called there too. She hadn't, so I told her she needed to call her mom since she was very upset and did tell her that something had happened to her cousin.
She tried to call her mom, but it went straight to voice mail. I texted her mom to call her there and also suggested the teen leave a message. I checked in with the teen a couple of times and got a text from her mom around noon that she was "taking it hard". I called her during my lunch break to make sure she was doing "ok". She said she was fine and I let her know that I'm really sorry and said "I love you". She quickly responded with an "I love you too" and I almost cried right then and there. It was really hard being at work when she was here, but I was comforted by the fact that she KNEW that I cared and was here for her.
It was a crazy afternoon at work and I got off work late. I called her shortly after 8 when I was on my way home. She still said she was doing okay, but agreed that she would have time to talk to me when I got home. I arrived home to pepperoni pizza on a plate at my place at the table (and dishes put away and the dishwasher reloaded...yes, I know I'm lucky!) She was a little quiet, but willing to answer my questions. She said she had been able to talk to a couple of cousins, but her mom only called that one time (and told her she "had" to come home, but still no word on when that is).
I asked her if she felt like she needed to go home or if she felt like she needed to stay here. Her response was "I don't know". (One of the reasons I asked this question is that her mom is super narcissistic and is likely going to be very wrapped up with taking care of all this stuff with her nephew and it may be less of a "burden" to her if she didn't have to worry about the teen too...) I let her know that she should think about what is best for her and tell me when she figures it out. (A little more background information: the cousin who died was in his early 20s and was shot last fall in a drive-by. He was in the hospital for a long time and her mom even canceled/shortened some visits because she was "taking care of her nephew". She told me that he still had some health problems from that, but she wasn't sure exactly what his cause of death was.)
She and I hung out in the living room for a little while after dinner watching TV. She was working on a project until her cousin called her. I fell asleep on the couch and now am writing this, so she very well may in bed/asleep already. I'm really sad for her (and her family) about losing her cousin so suddenly at a young age, but am thankful that if it was going to happen, I am the one who can give her support. I love that she knows the support is there and open to taking it.
Good night.
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