Oh What a Week

If I wasn't so "wordy" (okay, loquacious is a good word too...ha!), I could leave this post at simply "What a difference a week makes", but that's just NOT me :o)

Just over a week ago, I was bawling after trying to "talk it out". I was going to follow that up with a post called "Holy Hormones", but I haven't heard from Aunt Flo, so not sure what that was all about...just glad that the bit of irrational-ness didn't last long. I haven't even needed a "talking it out take two" post yet because things just turned around. In fact, I would go so far as to say I feel "giddy with gladness" or something equally as "cheesy", but true. I've been doing LOTS of smiling (and crying at the good parts) and even though there will surely be tears at the appointment with my counselor tomorrow, I don't foresee any coming from sadness.

Last week, I wasn't much looking forward to this week since I have to be at work for one thing or another every day. Little did I know how much I would be lifted up by being at work...although I shouldn't be THAT surprised considering I feel like what I do is my ministry rather than simply a "job"! However, I've really been able to see God working the past few days and I am so grateful for that. From having the opportunity to nominate my manager for an award that honors her dedication to the staff and patients/families to sharing my love of the nursing career with high school sophomores. From finding a day care on my way to work that takes foster children and open 24/7 to spending time with a friend who knows the foster care system well and will be an awesome resource to me should God have a child in mind who is to be in my home. A weekend that gave me time to spend with my mom, sister and nephew and also time to spend having "normal" conversations with my patients and their families during a non-crazy shift. A day when it seemed everyone was excited to see me...

And then there was today. Although I had a meeting this afternoon at work, this morning was breakfast with "my Stephanie". While I have made a point to not use names of my non-blog friends on this blog, it doesn't work as well in this instance. I think everyone needs "a Stephanie" and I definitely let her know that today :o) I have known "Stephanie" for a very long time. I baby-sat for her kids when I was in junior high/high school. I don't remember her treating me like "a kid" and we have been good friends for quite some time (well, I started high school in 1994, so it's been over fifteen years!) She has been there for me so many times and I have often called her my "put things in perspective friend". She knows my family, so she understands how they are, but is not part of the family so can either "tell me like it is" or help me work through things. She is encouraging, but also honest even when "the truth hurts". I just love her :o) She has been a huge blessing to me for years...and it had been MONTHS since we had spoken, so it was great to catch up. Hopefully we won't go as long in between meetings, but when you have "a Stephanie", no matter how much time passes, there is an instant connection and it is as if no time has passed.

I talked to the case worker at the foster care agency about the day care and she said that the director is "great". That was reassuring, and she and I visited for a little while. Only God knows what, if anything, will happen with my being licensed to have children in my home, a day care down the street, and love in my heart, but I suppose I have done my part for the time being.

The meeting I had today was with nurses from all over the hospital from staff nurses like myself all the way up to nurse managers and directors. I think my co-workers would be surprised to know that I am considered a "trouble maker" in this group. I am pretty outspoken, but so far no one has called me out as being "inappropriate" and I guess SOMEONE needs to be the "class clown", so it may as well be me...ha! It actually is pretty cool to be "known" on a committee like this that is actually REALLY important to the way the hospital functions/improves. There are lots of exciting things "coming down the pipe" and I'm going to be right in the middle of all that with the opportunity to make change and speak to the changes/good things that are happening in my area. A friend is on the committee with me and I guess it is together that we are "trouble" ;o) and it was nice to get to visit with her for a while after the meeting to "catch up" on what's going on with her (we were supposed to go to a meeting last week but she was sick, so I don't think I'd seen her since New Year's Eve).

Right after she left, I ran right into the mom who never got a "blog name" besides "my new friend". I "waved" to her in passing on New Year's, but think that was the last time I saw her. I ran into her husband a couple times in the past week, but not her. AND, today was her birthday! I was going to text/email her, but never got around to it...how awesome that I actually got to SEE her on her birthday and give her "Happy" wishes in person (and a hug too!) We visited for a while which was SO nice! I'm going to try and "hook her up" with the mom of one of the patients I cared for the past two days who would be a great "transplant mom" resource for her. The mom of "the baby" would be great too, but she lives pretty far away...I guess the world is small these days with the Internet and texting and such, so maybe I will talk to both of them :o) I was SO excited to run into them...what a fabulous day!

But it didn't stop there! I watched a twitter feed of people tweeting about the Biggest Loser while I watched the show which was highly entertaining (especially considering I was watching it "live" rather than on DVR sans commercials). People had LOTS to say about the happenings on the show...ha! After the show, I quickly checked my email (I've been REALLY bad at keeping up with email AND with reading blog posts these days). I found an email from the Spiritual Director I met with last week. I think I will just type the email in its entirety...I teared up before I was even half way through because I thought it was SO sweet of her to think about me!

I ran across some quotes recently that made me think about the witness of your life. One was similar to the Francis of Assisi quote about preaching at all times, using words when necessary. Here it is:

"Be careful of what you say and do, for you may be the only Bible some people will ever read." (Oscar Romero, former Archbishop of El Salvador)

The other quote is from Mother Teresa. It reminded me of the way your eyes lit up talking about some of the people you encounter in your work. I know that your patients and their families are touched by your kindess and care for them. You live out these words:

"Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness--kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."

That's how I see you interacting. your job is more than a way of earning a living. It is a ministry as you share the love of God.

What a difference a week makes, but I guess maybe "talking it out" allowed me to have my eyes, ears, and heart open to God working all around me, in big ways AND in little things. I am blessed.

Good night.

As I Requested

So, I'm pretty tired, but really was planning on reading the book for the "Bloom Book Club" this time...the discussion started last night, but I think I can catch up if I spend some time reading tonight. I probably should read rather than watch TV/blog, but I wanted to "jot this down".

Our census is pretty low, so people have been getting called off work (yay for not as many sick kids, boo for having to use PTO when you aren't on vacation). Last night, the charge nurse called to see if I would be interested in having today off or would I rather not be called unless I am "forced" off. Well, after all the "warm fuzzies" I got from my two patients yesterday, there was NO WAY I was going to stay home today :o) However, there was one patient I didn't want to take care of today (just being honest...nothing against the kid or the parents, it was just going to be a stressful day with that child today). So, I said to the charge nurse that I didn't want that particular patient as my "third" today, but if they could admit a really nice kid with super nice parents who wasn't very sick, didn't have a lot of meds, didn't require a lot of work, etc. for me, I would much appreciate that. She laughed and said "I'll work on that!"

Well, they didn't get ANY new patients overnight, and I managed to keep just my two patients from yesterday to start off the day. Early on in the shift, I found out that I would be getting a post-op patient who also was a child well-known to the floor. Wouldn't you know, that mom was SOOO excited to find out I would be her child's nurse?! The patient and the sibling were happy to see me too! Seriously, all these compliments...wow! So, really nice kid with super nice parents, who had a procedure that is often done outpatient so wasn't very sick and didn't have a lot of meds whose parents were there to care for/entertain him...um, isn't that just as I requested?! Wow is all I can say...and is why I HAD to get this written down because, seriously, that is pretty crazy!

I ended up orienting a nurse new my floor since her preceptor got the day off. It was her first day to take patients, so I gave her my one that wasn't going home. It was sad not actually being the nurse for that patient, but I went and visited :o) Not only did I get to send my middle-school girl home, but a patient who has been in the hospital for just over four months got to go home today too :o)

I had dinner at my mom and dad's and visited with my mom for quite some time without her annoying me at all...LOVE that too!

Tomorrow, I am having coffee with an old friend I haven't seen in months! I am really looking forward to that. I have a meeting in the afternoon, but maybe I will get some things done around home in between times.

And, just because he's adorable, here's another picture from Saturday. Apparently the girl who took the pictures put ALL the shots on the CD, not just the 12 we ended up picking. Very cool :o)

Good night.

The Sun Came Out

Yes, for a short time today, the sun came out...for the first time in nearly 2 weeks. Of course, I was inside at work so didn't REALLY get to enjoy it...and by the time I left, the roads were slick and covered with a new layer of snow. Have I mentioned that I am ready for spring?!

It was still a "sunshiny day" because I only had two patients and it was a "slow day" all around. So slow, in fact, that I forgot to give medications on time...oops! Since I only had two patients, I got to be my chatty self and spend time visiting with them. I love when I get to do that...and imagine that normal conversation is a welcome change :o) I finally got to be the nurse for a little girl who apparently likes to talk about "Nurse Amanda" (adorable...ha!) My other patient was a middle-school girl who, very sadly, is really sick. However, she was in good spirits considering how "unwell" she is. Near the end of my shift, she looked at me and asked if I was working again tomorrow. Although I knew where she was going with that question, I teased her about whether or not I should say "'yes" :o) The look on her face when I told her that, yes, I was working tomorrow and should be able to be her nurse was just awesome. I could also tell that it made her mom happy as well. Such a special feeling to see first hand--in the faces of the kids and their families--how much of a difference I am making...being a nurse is awesome :o)

Although yesterday was cloudy, there were plenty of sunny moments. I spent most of the day at the photography studio with my mom, sister, and nephew. His appointment for Valentine's Day/7 month pictures was at 1:30...lucky for them, he was still ALL smiles when we were finally called back at 2:45/3:00...what a LONG wait! He was SUCH a ham and smiled for every.single.picture! It was hilarious! He had all of us laughing because as soon as she got behind the camera, he just smiled away...I "stole" some pictures from my sister's fb page. She didn't put up any of him in his "Handsome Devil" shirt...and I opted not to post any of the "baby in the bathtub" pictures here, but these two are a pretty good representative of how smiley he was. It was a lot of fun...and neither my sister nor my mom annoyed me at all, so that is progress :o)

Well, it's after 11:00 and I have to work in the morning. I also have a load of wash in the washer that I did last night, so probably need to take care of those clothes before I have to wash them again. Hoping for another good day at work--and for more sun!--tomorrow.
Good night.

Another Busy Day "Off"

I suppose I'd rather be busy than bored, but it really is nearing the end of January and I guess it will just be a pleasant surprise if people get "Christmas" cards. I saw on someone's facebook status today that it has been over 8 days since there was sunshine here...no wonder all I want to do when I am home is sleep! My mom and sister "invited" me to go out with them and my nephew tomorrow and I really want to hang out with them, but tomorrow is my last "day off" before I start a long stretch of having to go to work every day for an one hour or thirteen. So, I think I will go for lunch and his Valentine's/Seven-month photographs and call it good (or maybe a little shopping too...)

This morning, I went to my high school and talked to sophomores about how awesome it is to be a nurse :o) Another alum and I have done this talk for the past four years and we make a good team. She graduated high school in the early 80s and STILL loves being a nurse, so I am hopeful that it will be the same for me :o) It really is a ministry rather than a "job" and it is so special to be able to make a difference in people's lives every single day. Unfortunately, I had to be there at 8AM which was EARLY (I actually got there at 8:15, but the first part was a "social" before the break-out sessions). I was there until about 10:45 since I did a little "visiting" before I left.

On the way home, I saw a sign sticking out of the top of a snow pile advertising a day care that was open 24/7 in a neighborhood near my house. I was driving so couldn't write down the information, but was able to look it up when I got home. I decided that was a "sign" to search for day care options since I DID get my foster parent license two weeks ago. In my online search, I found one that looked nice, but it wasn't really open 24/7 as advertised. I opted not to call the one with the sign because it looked like an in-home day care that was just opening...and, not that it sounded "sketchy", but looked like one that needed a bit more research than a phone call (plus, by the name, I wasn't so sure I'd find someone who spoke English as their first language, but you never know...) Much to MY surprise, I found that there is a 24-hour day care very close to me--as in, I drive by it during my 1.2 mile commute to work. Seriously, it is RIGHT down the street (okay, well, like 0.8 miles away, but that's pretty much like right down the street!) Since I wasn't doing anything, I stopped by there this afternoon and talked to the owner for quite a while. The director was out on her lunch break, but BOTH of them are foster parents and there are a number of foster children who are cared for at the center. I probably should stop by there when it isn't nap time, but I am still having trouble believing that a place like this is right in my backyard. Either it is "too good to be true" or it is the answer to the question of "How will it work to take a foster child when I work odd hours?" (Of course, one of the things I need to do during my "spare time" the next few days is get my home in order now that it seems day care may not be an issue...I'm trying not to be frightened by the fact that my phone really could ring at any time and a decision will have to be made about my willingness/ability to fulfill the need...)

From there, I went to pick up my laptop. I had quite the discussion with the technician there at the prompting of my brother-in-law. Since my computer would NOT turn on when I brought it in, I agreed to pay $99 for data recovery. They replaced the mother board, but said that Windows needed to be re-installed which would be a $150 charge since that is not under warranty. My brother-in-law said that is a process that shouldn't even be considered "work" let alone be that huge of a charge. Well, my computer was VERY slow to start up and I really questioned how I was supposed to bring a computer home from "being fixed" that won't start up? Eventually it did seem to start working and I brought it home with no charge. They will keep the recovered data for 2 weeks, but I should be able to recover my own files (or get my brother-in-law to help--he said he will re-install Windows for me if that is necessary, but now it looks like it is working and they were going to charge $150 for something that doesn't appear to be broken...nice...)

Although I should have gone to work out, I got the fast food I have been craving and went home (I didn't eat a big breakfast, so figured that was okay...kind of ruined that rationalization with the dinner I ate, but that was later...ha!) I started backing up my files and doing a few other things on the computer and got very sleepy, so had to take a nap before I went out for the evening (it ended up being a 5:45 start rather than a 5:00 start...ha!)

The friend I made plans with for tonight has two kids that she and her husband adopted from foster care using the same agency I am licensed through. So, she will be able to answer questions and has offered to help with respite-type care (which is nice considering I have a number of vacations in the works!) To put it as kindly as possible, she is nice, but I couldn't imagine hanging out with her all the time...although we DID have a fun time. We went bowling and I didn't realize HOW much less relaxing it is to bowl with a four and five-year-old than it is when you go with your girlfriends/family. It seemed like the 10 frames went on FOREVER and there is no way we could have done a second game! I did bowl a 137 which I thought was pretty sweet considering it has been years since I bowled (my mom, dad, and sister bowl in a league, but I have never been asked to participate in that...) We went out for pizza and the kids were pretty crazy and that was not so much fun (making me re-think the whole being a single mom idea, but I can always pray for patience...ha!) After the kids were asleep, we watched a movie (Confessions of a Shopaholic). It was cute. I don't watch movies very often because I tend to fall asleep...she talked quite a bit, especially during the first half which kind of annoyed me, but I guess that helped keep me awake!

Now it is nearing 2AM, but at least I don't have to be anywhere in the morning. However, I probably shouldn't have gotten on such an "off" schedule considering next week could be crazy (Tuesday's work thing isn't until 3:30, but I do have a morning appointment and Wednesday's work thing isn't until 1:30, but I think I have something in the morning too)

Good night.

Day "Off"

So, I suppose if you believe that I work three days a week, then "technically" today was one of my "days off". However, I spent nearly seven hours at the hospital today, so it wasn't exactly a relaxing one. The day started with a mandatory nursing forum. It went from 8-9:15, so I didn't even really get to sleep in! It was an informative and motivating forum, but it was still early and brought me to work on a day off (it is pretty much impossible to leave the floor for an hour, especially with the patients we have...heck, taking a 30 minute lunch break can put you behind!) I had a little bit of down time before the next meeting which went from 10:30-noon. It was a good meeting except I got some "feedback" about the meeting I led last week. I admit to being defensive and not really accepting of the attempt for "constructive criticism", but it is REALLY frustrating that I have spent so much time explaining how that group is supposed to work and people still don't "get" it. It's hard to explain without giving too much information, but I feel like I have a good grasp on how the structure is supposed to work and am able to get through a massive amount of information in two hours every month...so, having people question the way I do things is more than a little frustrating.

So, I COULD have gone home a little after noon (after I vented a little about this to a nurse who used to work on my floor, but now is in a different position). However, I wanted to nominate my manager for the hospital's annual award for excellence in leadership. I knew it would take me a while to complete the nomination and it was only on the Intranet, so I couldn't do it at home. I also would not have time to do it while I was at work, and it wasn't in a format that I could save and come back to later. That ended up taking me even longer than I thought, but I did get some feedback as I went along. It was nearly 3:00 by the time I headed for home, but it was really important for me to do this for her. Even if she doesn't win the award, I am sure the nomination will be seen by people who need to know what a great job she is doing.

I took a couple hour nap before I went to choir practice. I got a coffee on the way which is probably why I am still awake at nearly midnight!

I "skimmed" through the post I wrote on Monday and it isn't quite as crazy as I thought it was. "Talking it out" was helpful, and I think a "take two" will be necessary at some point, but not tonight. I do, however, want to share a quote that the Spiritual Director shared with me. I talked about faith, prayer and religion and how I felt like I have a "disconnect" because I only speak about those things in "certain company". "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."~Francis of Assisi I like that, and am glad she thought to share that with me at that moment...I think it will be really good to meet with her :o)

These other quotes arrived in my "inbox" this past week and I think they are worth "documenting" as well.
"It is not a question of whether you 'have what it takes,' but of whether you take the gifts you have - they are plenteous - and share them with all the world." ~Neale Donald Walsch

"Go out into the world where your heart calls you. The blessings will come, I promise you that. I wish for you the insight to recognize the blessings as such, and sometimes it's hard. But you'll know it's a blessing if you are enriched and transformed by the experience. So be ready. There are great souls and teachers everywhere. It's your job to recognize them." ~Sy Montgomery

Another early morning since I have to be at my "alma mater" at 8:00 before talking to the sophomores who want to learn about being a nurse. This will be the fourth year I have talked at "Sophomore Career Day" and it's always fun :o) Tomorrow evening, I am meeting a friend for dinner/movies...there is a lot more I want to write about this, but I can't think of a tactful way of saying how I feel about this being my "Friday night plans". So, it will be fun...once I get myself there...

Good night.

Shoes Off, Feet Up

I could NOT get my shoes off and my feet up fast enough today! It was a CRAZY day! I did get lunch at a decent hour, but I ran my butt off ALL day long! There were only a couple times when I could sit for five minutes and breathe. It was just nuts (of course, I suppose, there isn't REALLY a comparison between my day and this one I read about here, but that's SORT OF "apples and oranges", right?!) My feet and legs are actually still pretty achy. Good thing I am pretty "physically fit" or it would have been very bad! I didn't clock out until 8:00, and the nurse who was working with me didn't get home until nearly 9 (she has a longer drive, but was probably there until 8:30). That is a crazy long day! I was going to stop and get some fast food on the way home, but decided I could wait until tomorrow for that and made myself some macaroni and cheese (I seem to eat that a lot, but tonight I did actually eat an orange too!) and drank a Woodchuck while I watched TV with my feet on the table. I thought about taking a bath, but it's been a while since I actually CLEANED the bathtub...if I had a whirlpool tub, I'd have gone there even BEFORE making my mac and cheese!

I still need to finish my post from Monday, but that isn't going to happen tonight. It's getting late and I have to go to a mandatory forum at work from 8-9 and then have a meeting from 10:30-noon (and then I'm thinking it will be nap time!)
Good night.

Not Quite Rational

I knew when I was writing last night's post that there would need to at least be a "talking it out take two" post because although I was emotional and tired (or BECAUSE I was emotional and tired) I knew I wasn't quite rational. I was hoping I could write "take two" tonight because it would be nice to read through my words and point out things that I wrote that in my heart I know are not true, but honestly, I am too tired to do that. My eyes and head hurt, I feel kind of sick to my stomach (my choice of dinner foods wasn't very bright!) and I'm about to fall asleep while I type. So, I know that when I started writing last night, I was on the right track, but I ended up going a little crazy. I know that I need to "talk it out" and "talking it out" definitely helps :o)

Back to work tomorrow, but first I'm going to get some sleep.
Good night.

Talking It Out

My nose is still "drippy" (even when I'm NOT wiping my nose along with the tears that were falling yesterday and today), but I am thankful that I still do not "feel sick".

Yesterday morning, I didn't get up in time to go to choir practice before Mass, so I just sat in the congregation. It was kind of nice participating in Mass from the pews (and, at that point I was still coughing and sneezing and dripping, so keeping the "germs" to myself was probably a good idea anyway). I sat by the choir and they sounded good even without me ;o) (ha, that's funny...I don't actually have that good of a singing voice, but it improves when I'm with the choir!)

I had plans to go to a movie with a friend, but she was sick so could not go. I called my "friend from Curves" to see if she would go instead and she didn't want to shower or get dressed, so no movie for me....

I found out on facebook that one of my cousins got engaged Saturday night, so I called and talked to my aunt for a while. That was a teary conversation for some reason (remember, my counselor suggested I talk to SOMEONE in my family even if I wasn't ready to make the "leap" to my mom). I don't think she realized I was crying, which is a good thing because I didn't really have any particular "reason" to be upset. I need to spend some time with my older cousin, because it is her younger sister who got engaged...and, even though she is just as happy as I was when I was in her shoes, there is no denying that there are feelings that need to be worked out when that happens. Anyway, it was really nice to spend some time talking to my aunt since she seems to understand why my family can drive me crazy sometimes!

I "spotted" one of my best high school friends who lives in Germany online on facebook. She called me and we talked for quite a while. It was the first time I talked to her since before her baby was born in November. It was great to catch up and hear how motherhood is going. She said they may try to come to this part of the U.S. this summer (her parents and siblings and his parents and siblings are spread out across the U.S. and unfortunately none of them are here =( ).

I wasn't at all productive housework/note writing/work paperwork wise, but did take a nap before "family dinner". I still do not know how I can be patient so much of the time, but my patience goes out the window at "family dinners"...yesterday was actually better, so maybe I am starting to figure out how to deal with this "issue".

Since today was a federal holiday, my dad didn't have to work. So, we went to bet horses. One of his co-workers ended up joining our table which made it less of a "father-daughter outing", but still worked okay. I think we won four races and I left with $5 more than I brought, plus he paid for lunch, so I call that "success" :o)

This afternoon, I had my first meeting with a Spiritual Director. I met her when I was doing a Bible Study and she just started her practicum. I offered to let her "practice" on me...because, really, I didn't think I could deny that I could benefit from having some "spiritual direction", plus I enjoy talking and at least in this case, she is someone who is "supposed" to listen to me...ha! Just as in my counseling sessions, I found myself in tears (I actually was crying before we finished praying at the beginning of the session...sheesh!) This was to be a "get to know you" session and I'm wondering if she was prepared for the "open sharing"...maybe she was, since the one time we had "coffee" it was a 2-hour deal! I shared with her some of the things I have been working on in counseling, and also about my life and the role that I feel faith, God, and religion plays in it. As I talked about things that have happened in my life, and the people that God has brought into it, I was reminded about how truly blessed I am to know that I have "gifts", am aware of them, and am in a place where I can and do use them. Why, then, do I continue to have questions? Why is it that I cannot seem to forget the times when my mom, who I love very much, has questioned things like who my friends are and how I choose spend my time and "resources"? If I actually think back, it only happened a couple times, but I wonder if I anticipate criticism, so I have stopped sharing as much. (I am just trying to "talk this out" and now it's nearly 11:30, so I may not exactly be thinking clearly...) At one point in the conversation, I just blurted out "the obvious" that "I should NOT be a disappointment!" I am proud of who I am, and what I am doing with my life...and, I'm sure my parents would be hurt if they thought that I didn't feel they were proud of me too (I'm sure they are, and I DO have a good relationship with them, and they probably HAVE told me that more recently than I can think of...)

...well, this "talking it out" will need to be continued because I have to work in the morning and all this crying makes me even more tired...I guess the "short version" would have been that it will be great to have someone ELSE outside the family/my circle of friends to talk to on a regular basis to help me sort through things :o)

Good night.

Drippy, Sneezy, Cough-y

As someone who "never gets sick", these symptoms have been rather annoying. I think the "drippiness" started last week, if not even earlier. I actually nearly "tweeted" one day that I was trying to convince myself that an occasionally drippy nose was MUCH less annoying than a full-blown cold. While I did NOT actually "tweet" that, I do actually still believe that to be true...even though the "drippiness" is a bit more frequent now and also accompanied by sneezing and coughing. By early afternoon at work yesterday, my head was starting to hurt and I was overcome with fatigue. The end of my twelve+ hours couldn't come soon enough (I did have nice patients which was a blessing for sure and did get out pretty much on time.) I quickly made some macaroni and cheese and watched my DVR of Medium as my head continued to throb. I was in bed by 10:00 and slept like a rock (well, until I finally had to get up at a little after 6:00 for work today).

Today I was also met with afternoon fatigue, but I think that was more job-related than anything. I set-out to cure my fatigue with a walk to the hospital store for some Diet Coke, Hot Tamales, and Sun Chips. I brought a cute little patient with me on my walk. He just came last week and it makes me smile because his face seems to light up when I talk to him (he's 11 and it's just super cute!) I also visited another patient who had made a thank you note for "Nurse Amanda" using the gel pens and stickers I gave her for her birthday (apparently, when she was getting moved from the ICU to the floor, her mom was telling her the good things about getting a new room, and she chimed in that "Nurse Amanda" is there...SO sweet!) It's also nice that when I was leaving yesterday and responded "yes" to a patient's mom's question if I worked again today and she said "yay!" Hmm, sounds like I had a good day DESPITE the dripping, sneezing, and coughing!

After work, I went to dinner with one of my co-workers. Her husband was out-of-town and she didn't know what she was going to do. I, of course, had nothing to do either. I said "let's go to a movie", but by 8:00, it would have had to be a LATE movie which would have been tough after a 12-hour shift, plus she works tomorrow. We went to dinner instead and ended up visiting until after 10:00. I "forced" her to work with me on Wednesday and today...she did put on my facebook once that she "hearts" working with me...so, there you go ;o)

Tomorrow, I think I am going to go to a movie with a friend and am making plans for coffee with another friend and lunch with yet ANOTHER friend. Monday I am having lunch with my dad since he is off for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Busy, busy!

Well, I better head to bed since sleep, fluids, and time are the only things I can think of to get rid of the drips, sneezes, and coughs.

And, even though my last post was about "fires" and candles, I have banned myself from lighting any real ones for a while after waking up yesterday morning to find a candle burning on my stove. I guess "horrified" is a pretty good word (oh, and grateful that nothing bad happened...the city has already seen more fires this week than have been seen in quite some time and I do NOT need to add to that statistic!)

Ever since I found this blog the other night after hearing about the earthquake in Haiti, I have been reading the words of this nurse who is there. The orphanage/hospital where she is was not damaged, but it is heartbreaking to read her stories. But, this post has hopeful news and some happy news, including the fact that a number of children were able to be transported to their adoptive homes sooner that expected which will end up making room for children who are orphaned from the earthquake. I can't even imagine...

Good night.

About that "fire"...

Well, I will say that I at least felt a "candle", which is a start, but nowhere near the "bonfire" that must be required to get my rear in gear. Okay, so maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but I definitely could have accomplished more today than I actually did. I no longer have to tip toe my way to the couch (although that area isn't COMPLETELY clear, it is much improved). I also have a fairly clear pathway to my bed. I woke up coughing and congested, so I washed my sheets to get rid of any "bugs" that were there (considering how much time I've been spending in my bed, I thought that was a good idea!) I finally put away the laundry that had been sitting on my couch for who knows HOW long! There are no longer dishes in the sink (take that back, I think there is a cup or two). I had a meeting at work this afternoon. After today, I only have to lead two more meetings. I have to say it has been a good experience even though it stresses me out SOOOO much (today there were seventeen people there, including the Executive Director!) I have heard that I do a good job, but the conversation definitely got pretty heated at the end (and I had to work to keep people focused and stop some "side bar conversations") All in all, though, I would call it a successful meeting. I put on nice clothes and my boots (that I'm REALLY glad I bought...I never dreamed I would wear them this often!) and did my hair and make-up. I tried using "looking cute" as an excuse to not go to Curves. But, I decided that there really was no reason to walk around my house in my nice clothes and boots anyway (especially since had I stayed home, I needed to clean!) so off I went. It did actually feel good to work out, so I'm glad I went.

Well, I work tomorrow, so I should head to bed. Not sure I can expect there to be any "fire" when I get home from a 12-hour shift, but maybe I can at least clear off the couch so I could lay down if I wanted (sad that I have a giant sectional and there is barely room for me to sit on it!)

I entered a couple of the "Hope for Haiti" raffles today. It looks like more contests were added throughout the day. It's really great to see so many people reaching out to the people there (I saw that over 5 million dollars was donated to the Red Cross [in one day] from a "texting" thing that was set up where $10 was donated per text...awesome!)

Good night.

In the News

I was planning to write a post discussing how much I need to have a fire started under me to get my rear in gear and make my home more presentable (oh, and send Christmas Cards...there is still time to get them done before the end of the month!) However, I spent some time on facebook, and then on twitter, and then in Google Reader...and everyone is talking about the earthquake in Haiti. Being at the hospital all day, I was sort of "out of the loop", but ended up seeing a report that maybe 100,000 people were killed (one I glanced at now says "tens of thousands")...there is no way to know at this point I guess. How devastating...I don't really have any other words... Then, I decided to check on Nikki from Blogs for a Cause who gave me my "first" blog makeover because I couldn't remember where she did her mission trips. I believe she goes to the Dominican Republic, but the "charity of the month" on her blog for January is an organization in Haiti called Heartline Ministries which helps mothers and expectant mothers. And then, I noticed a blog called "Cry Haiti". It is the blog of a pediatric nurse who works with medically fragile kids in Haiti. I read quite a few posts and it looks like it is a hospital and an orphanage. Wow is all I can say (oh, and that if I went there, it would be VERY hard to leave without a baby...) Maybe some day God will take me to a place like this to help "God's Littlest Angels", but in the mean time, they have my prayers...as do all of the people there in Haiti who are grieving, hungry, thirsty, ill, homeless...

In addition to the fundraising Nikki is doing through her blogs, I found a link to this site that is hosting giveaways with money to benefit people in Haiti.


Good night.

Argh

That is my frustration sound. Once again, I am about to go to bed with a messy house. But, that's not really what I am frustrated about right now (although it should be...maybe "annoyed" is a better word for that situation). Anyway, I have a "picture issue". I don't do much with the ones I take besides put them here or on facebook (and sometimes print them). I am not a photographer, so don't need anything fancy. I've put pictures on snapFish and shutterFly, but not recently. My mom has been using walgReens. I got a coupon for free prints on snapFish that I let expire (sad!). I got a coupon for a free photo book on shutterFly that expires tomorrow. I have known about this for a while, so why I waited until 9:30 tonight to start working on it is beyond me. I was thinking it would be fun to make a photo book of my Vegas vacation. That would be easy if everyone who took pictures there had their pictures on shutterFly rather than on walgReens. Since I'm not technologically savvy, I couldn't figure out how to get the pictures from walgReens to shutterFly easily. So, I tried saving each individual picture from walgReens to my hard drive so I could upload them to shutterFly. Well, apparently that doesn't work so well when you save the "thumbnail" version of the picture...and now it is after 10:00 and I'm thinking it would have been better had I never got that coupon because then I could have just made a photo book on walgReens (if I wanted) where all the pictures already are and saved the frustration...or, I suppose I could buy prints and make a book myself.

Argh...I think being frustrated over something as silly as pictures means I shouldn't stay up much longer. Back to work tomorrow.

Good night...oh, Ginger has been doing some Giveaways and the latest one ends tomorrow (as of this moment, there are only 15 entries, so head on over!)

1-11

(1-11 is kind of a fun date and the most "creative" title I can come up with at this point!)

It's been a busy couple of days...and I still have a basket of laundry on the couch, a stack of Christmas picture collages that need to be put into cards on the table, and a bunch of items strewn about the floor. Not that I haven't had time to do those things, they just didn't get done. Have I mentioned that I'm not a big fan of January?! We did get the promised "heat wave" and today's temperatures in the low 20s did actually feel warm.

I think I worked on Saturday...can't really remember. Yesterday, I was almost late to Mass (being late seems to be a "theme" with me these days and it is frustrating because I don't have any excuses and being late to things like dinner with friends and appointments with counselors is pretty rude), but made it. After Mass, hmm, can't remember what I did besides watch some TV. Oh, I made some cheese soup :o) It was yummy. I let my parents pick me up for dinner at my grandparents' house since my house is on the way anyway. Once again, I found myself annoyed with my family which only frustrated me more...I did get some cute pictures with my nephew though :o)

I texted with Stephanie and discovered that I can help her with her math class...well, I'm hoping I can help her, but I am really excited to try! I don't really miss school (as in, writing papers and doing lots of reading/research does not sound fun to me), but I did really love math when I was younger (my sophomore year of high school, I took Geometry AND Algebra II so I could take AP Calculus when I was a senior :o) I'm looking forward to a different kind of challenge (that I don't have to pay for...ha!)

I also "chatted" with Ginger for a while :o) We had a really nice "visit" and the girl can even read my mind from hundreds of miles away on the other side of a computer...now that's friendship! I'm excited to start planning my trip to come visit her and meet the rest of her family.

This morning, I met with my counselor. It was good timing because January has just been rough with it being so cold and snowy and me not having motivation to do anything. I've also been struggling whenever I'm with my family, even though I love them very much. It is really stressful for me that I get irritated so quickly about every little thing they do/say. I can't say that we "fixed" anything today, but I definitely think that regular counseling is a good idea for me. She "suggested" that I have conversations with my family, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that...but should pray for wisdom/guidance for that "situation".

This afternoon, I went to visit two of my former teachers at the retirement home for nuns. I had been meaning to visit them for a long time and decided they weren't getting any younger, and there was no time like the present. One of them taught me piano when I was younger (I started lessons in 1989) and then voice and piano when I was in high school. Since I got my piano back, I really wanted to go see her to let her know that I've been playing. She is 98 years old and can't hear or see very well, but she definitely knew it was me, and we had a good visit (well, as good of a visit as you can have with someone who can't hear very well). She is in the skilled nursing part of the home, but the aide brought her down to the room of my high school Latin teacher. She is probably 88 and as soon as I got close enough for her to see me, she knew who I was. We, too, had a nice visit and she actually gave me this little porcelain doll (it was a "re-gift" to me, but still sweet). I put it on one of the shelves in my living room for now. Before I left, I had someone take our picture. I'll have to visit them again.

I went and worked out at Curves, had some dinner, and cleaned my kitchen floors (wow, something "productive"!) Then, I actually talked to Kristy for the first time in a while which was nice. I need to go back to Curves in the morning and should try and get some more stuff done before I go back to work on Wednesday. Tomorrow afternoon/evening I am helping with an H1N1 vaccination clinic. This will be my first time helping with one, so it will be interesting.

Well, I guess at the end of the day, I can't be TOO upset about my messy house because people are more important to me than a clean house and I talked to/spent time with lots of special people the past couple of days...of course, I would feel better about myself if I ALSO felt like I could let anyone who "stopped by" see the inside of my house...

It's getting cold here in the living room, so I'm ready to go to my warm room (I have been letting the space heater run for a while until I go to bed) and snuggle under the covers.
Good night.

Mark This Down

It has been SOOOO cold and snowy here...and the forecast earlier this week was that we were to hit a record low of -24 degrees. That, my friends, is insane. That brown hat, those brown boots...they have been my friends. Those gloves...well, they LOOK warm, but they have nothing on the sub-zero temperatures we have been having. I was outside for less than 10 minutes last night shoveling the front steps and the tips of my fingers were WHITE when I came back inside and it took quite a while for me to be able to move them properly. However, as cold as I am, and as snowy as it is, I can't help but think of those who don't have a warm home, and those who must work outside. My dad is a letter carrier. There were stories on the news tonight of people who died because of the bitter cold temperatures. It is just sad...and scary...and I am reminded about how very blessed I am.

I thought about working extra today, but am so thankful that I did not because it was wonderful to lay in my warm bed until after 11:30. Today, my sister's friend's baby turned one. I posted a picture of me with her here. Little did we know how rough the rest of the year would be for her...infections, respiratory problems, and three heart surgeries later, she is doing great! Last year on this day, I went "pink and brown for Gwyneth" on her first birthday (I didn't remember to do that this year, but DID wear my brown hat and brown boots!)

I had lunch with my "friend from Curves". She organizes a first Friday lunch, but because of the cold, there were only three of us. We had fun though :o)

As I was walking to my car, I received a very special phone call...one that was over 2 years in the making, but still left me as much scared as excited...

I am a licensed foster parent!

My "plans" after receiving that call were to get my house cleaned up so my messy un-child-proof house would not be what holds me back from accepting a placement. However, that just didn't happen. I'm not sure why, but I can't seem to get focused to do anything. I have work stuff that NEEDS to be done. I have a stack of Christmas card pictures that really need to be sent. I have a basket of clean laundry to put away. Today was "pay day" a.k.a. "bill paying day", but I didn't even do that... Back to work tomorrow, and then it is time to "buckle down"...too bad I also found out today that my computer needs a new "mother board"...thank goodness I paid for that extended warranty because all I need to pay is $99 for them to recover all of my files!

A day to remember...for many reasons.
Good night.

Tired AND Cold

On days that I work, my alarm goes off at 5:30. I usually "snooze" until at least 6...and on nice weather days I have pushed the limits to see how late I can leave and still be on-time for a 7:00 start (6:45 is cutting it close, but I haven't ever clocked in late...oh how much I love living close to work!)

The forecast last night said "snow by sunrise"...I had no clue if that meant I'd be shoveling before work or not...pretty vague forecast if you ask me!

So, my alarm went off at 5:30, I took a peek outside, saw my driveway was dry, and went back to sleep. At 6:00, I took another peek. Still no snow, so I got ready as usual, and while I SHOULD have left early "just in case", it was pretty close to 6:40 when I opened the garage and discovered it had started snowing...oops!

My short drive to work was fine, but I wasn't that excited about the drive home since the forecast was that it would snow all day. And snow all day it did! Today was SUPER slow and 12 1/2 hours felt like FOREVER! Of course, I would never say the words "bored" or "boring" because I'd rather not go into super crazy busy mode, but it being that slow made it even harder to stay awake and focused. Plus, knowing it was cold and snowy REALLY made me wish I was at home in bed or snuggled up with a blanket on the couch!

The shift FINALLY ended and the roads weren't nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be (of course, it IS only a 1.2 drive without any bridges, overpasses, or highways...ha!) I actually even made it up and into my garage without having to get out to shovel first. This turned out to be extra good because it was COLD out there! At the time, I think it was 9 degrees with a windchill of -11, so I came inside to "layer up" before going out to shovel. Brrr... So, I took a nice hot shower, put on some warm clothes, and am heating up my bedroom with a space heater while I "blog" and get ready for bed :o)

Tomorrow the forecast is for a high of 5 (with a low of -15...and that does NOT include "wind chill"). But, that has NOTHING on Friday where the forecast is for a HIGH of -4..."arctic blast" indeed (again, that does not take into account the "wind chill factor"!)

Something tells me it isn't going to be easy to get out of my warm bed in the morning, so I'd better go get some sleep.
Good night.

All I wanna do...

is sleep.

This could prove to be a problem tomorrow when I have to go back to work. I haven't worked since Friday, so I really shouldn't complain. I mean, four days off is "pretty sweet". There were so many things I wanted to get done these four days and only a couple of them actually got done. I'm kind of disappointed in myself for that...not necessarily for the fact that my house is a mess and I haven't put away laundry or the dishes I actually did do, but things like mailing my "Christmas cards", visiting my former piano and Latin teachers who are 98 and 88 years old, reading for fun, and responding to emails from friends. Those things really aren't things that should be "put off until tomorrow"...and yet, that's exactly what I did. It's cold, there is more snow predicted for tomorrow, and it's January, so maybe I should cut myself some slack...or maybe I need to get to the bottom of why I can't even seem to get myself to do the things I WANT to do... I suppose I DID go to lunch with my grandma and cousins yesterday, worked out at Curves both yesterday and today, and helped with an alum event at my high school and attended the basketball game. I also put a couple pictures in frames and put away what little Christmas decorations I had gotten out. So, I guess I didn't actually sit on the couch for four days straight...

Back to work tomorrow and if I'm going to have to shovel before I can leave, I'd better make sure I get some good sleep...make the most of what sleep I will get anyway (I'm sure it won't feel like NEAR enough!)
Good night.

Who am I?

I was too tired to post last night, and am kind of too tired tonight, but need to at least make an attempt to "clear my mind". Yesterday, I had a meltdown in Fashion Bug of all places. There I was holding a bunch of shirts, cell phone in hand texting Stephanie with tears dripping down my face...lovely. I was texting her in a moment of frustration/annoyance with my family which somehow led to me being reminded of past hurt feelings...hence the crying at the clothing store.

Anyway, I suppose I should rewind a bit and explain...or continue to be "vague" and hope that somehow clears my mind...ha!

I guess what it boils down to is "Who am I to judge?", "Who am I to criticize?" To which the answer is something along the lines of "I'm not anyone."

At work, when my co-workers get frustrated with parents and the choices the make, the way they do things, I am among the first to put things into perspective. I remind them that NONE of us would want to be in the shoes of a parent with a chronically ill child (or any child in the hospital for that matter). And, just because one parent can do it all with a smile on their face and kindness in their voice doesn't mean others can. The truth is, that no one wears the same shoes, so really there cannot be any comparison. (I know that I get crabby when I am hungry or tired or things don't go the way I want them to, so I am pretty sure I would NOT make a very good parent of a child in the hospital...at least not without some attitude and other adjustments!)

Why, then, can I not give the same perspective, the same "I've never been in your shoes, so I really have no idea how I would handle things" when it comes to my sister/brother-in-law/nephew/mom? I mean, I know that parents only can do their best...what more can you do than your best, right?!...and more often than not, the children turn out okay. It shouldn't bother me that my mom goes and visits my sister nearly every day...and sometimes does their laundry/dishes when she is there. And, it shouldn't be annoying to me that I'm pretty sure my nephew has never been to the grocery store...

But, it WAS hurtful to think about the fact that those things are happening, but when I started the process to become a foster parent over two years ago (before I HAD a nephew even in "the making") there was a definite "vibe" that I would not be given any support or encouragement. My "foster parent deal" has been a really slow process due to some changes in the agency as well as me not being in a "rush". I figured that if God wanted a child to come into my home some time in the past two years, it would have happened and the process would have been done more quickly. Some of my reservations ARE due to the lack of support I feel from my family. Sure, I know there are lots of single parents out there with no support, but that does not seem ideal, or very much "fun"...and not really the way I want to do it.

After yesterday, though, I made sure that I hand-delivered the final piece of paper to my agency (my health history/physical that was done a month ago today!) so all the paperwork has been sent to the State. My background checks are done. I took my classes in April 2008. I think my home study was later that year (it has been a LONG process!). So, it shouldn't be that much longer until I actually have a license. Now, what I end up doing with that license remains to be seen. I could do emergency placement. I could do respite care. I could do nothing. I could just have the license and renew it again in two years without ever having a child in my home. I have no idea. I don't really have any "expectations" or "plans"...

I did ask my mom if she could get my pack and play back from my sister...even though my nephew slept in it for the first time this past weekend. When I asked her, I mentioned that I needed it back since I should have my foster parent license soon. I wasn't surprised that I barely got a response, but it is what it is...what is to be, will be...

I would post pictures from the Fiesta Bowl watching party I had with my dad, but it wasn't as much fun since my team lost. I bought lots of Tostitos and we had purple Christmas lights. The shirts I bought for myself and my dad didn't arrive at my house until after I had already gone over to my parents' house even though I bought them a week ago and paid for 3-day shipping...needless to say, I was pretty upset about that...and now I have a shirt to remember the Bowl game that we lost.

I went to Curves for the first time in over a month (I have now been four times since the beginning of October...that is not good!) I need to go back tomorrow and get back on track. Even though I have lost some pounds/inches, it was not in a healthy way. When it is this cold and snowy, I just want to stay inside and sleep (or sit on the couch and do nothing). But, hopefully I can get back on a workout schedule that will give me more energy/something to do. it's just after 1:00, so I'd better get some sleep.

Good night.

It's January

It's after 2:00AM and I probably should go to sleep, but I'm thinking too much to sleep. I ended up having the day off which was nice. I didn't get up until after 10. I took my laptop in to be fixed (that seems to be something that has happened too often in it's less than four year life). I took a nap. I went out with my best high school friend, her husband, and another couple. We went to a bar and played darts. It was fun to get out...for a young, single person I don't get out much! I find ways to entertain myself close to home :o) It's snowing again, so I was really nervous driving home which is probably one of the reasons I am still awake an hour after I got home.

Today (the second) marked three years since the passing of this little boy. I sent a text message to his mom to let her know I remembered. That was also the day I bought my house, so I have been living here by myself in my own home for THREE years! Besides that "milestone", January 2007 was absolutely AWFUL at work. Two years ago this week, I was really sad about this little girl. January 2008 had it's ups and downs and as I glanced through those posts, it looks like a lot of healing and learning happened here on this blog. Looking at my posts from January 2009, I had my computer issues, and a couple other things, but maybe January isn't as terrible of a friend as I originally thought when I started writing this post. I thought I was going to have to have a little talk with January 2010 and tell it that we need to be friends because it is already bad enough that it is bitterly cold and snowing. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a little chat while the month is still young ;o)

It's January. It's cold. It's snowing. It's also the beginning of a new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what blessings I will be able to write about when I sit down in January 2011 to reflect on 2010.

Well, now it is 3AM and I am sufficiently tired enough to sleep (I may need to find another blanket...I cannot figure out how come my bedroom is the COLDEST room in the house...I went to the basement today and it was almost hot down there...weird!)
Good night.

Gift of People

I was reading a blog (a patient's blog actually...shhh!) and she talked about "pondering the gift of people". I'm not sure what exactly struck me by those words, but could be because it so simply states what I could write paragraphs trying to explain. The gift of people. Wow! I SURELY have been given MANY of those gifts...probably more than I can count! And, if I am being honest (and filling my own bucket) I know that I have been a "gift" to people too...probably more than I can count as well!

I guess, if I think about it, the three quotes that have "graced" the top of my blog for a long time are "all about" being a gift to others--"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia; "I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it for I shall not pass this way again." ~Stephen Grellet; "I've always thought that people need to feel good about themselves and I see my role as offering support to them, to provide some light along the way." ~Leo Buscaglia--and yet, those words "the gift of people" really spoke to me. Maybe it was in context with the rest of the words of the post (it was a beautifully written hopeful and faith-filled post despite the circumstances), or maybe it just "fit" with reflecting back on 2009 and all that made that year special...

I don't even have to look any further than my living room mirror to see some of the gifts of people God has given me. The living room mirror is where I hang Christmas cards that end up staying all year long. Not only do I have pictures of two (former :o) ) patients and their families, but also photos of four families whose children were my patients before they passed away. All of those families, and their children, were brought into my life for very special reasons. I learned from all of them, and the gifts they shared with me during their time here will remain with me forever. And, there is no way I could look at those cards and not feel like I was/am special to them too.


What else is on that mirror?
*family (of COURSE those people are gifts!)
*the family of a co-worker from a job I did in high school and college
*cards from three co-workers who "randomly" became special friends
*the picture of a little girl all grown up whose mom was instrumental in me choosing my college (I "treated" myself to baby-sitting her on one of my birthdays)
*the family of a woman I met when I was doing a job with the State
*a young woman who once was the 5-year-old in foster care at my house when I was in high school
*the woman who was assigned to me as a "mentor" my senior year in college
*"blog friends" who have become "real life friends"
(I am still planning to send cards...guess they will be New Years' ones!)

At this point in my post, I was curious about what I wrote last year when I reflected back on 2008. I think 2009 is a good year to reflect on the "gift of people" because I never could have imagined a year ago the wonderful people He would place in my path. (2009 WAS also the "year of the baby" that I wrote about in last year's post...I was going to make a slide show of the "babies of 2009" but realized that I either didn't have pictures of some of the babies or they were babies from the blogs I read which would be kind of weird) Anyway, I am glad I went and checked last year's post because it brought back some good memories. I called 2008 the year of Friendship and Miracles. (If I actually have a "reader" who is new to reading about "me", that post has lots of links to the "highlight posts" of the previous year) At the end of that post, I shared part of a comment I received that read "...may 2009 hold great joy and many surprises" to which my response was "I am sure He has more joy and surprises than I can even begin to imagine." How true that was...and I'm sure will continue to be...

The gift of people...I am sure there will be more to come on this because I just love that (even though I used it in slightly different context) and this post is a bit disjointed! I also would love to do a "year in review" but my lap top remains out of commission and for some reason it is just harder for me to do that on my netbook (I erased this whole post a couple times, but was able to "rescue" it thank goodness). It's also nearly 11:30 and I stayed up until 1AM, got up before 6AM, worked for nearly 13hours, and possibly will be working again in the morning. So, I should get some sleep.

2009 was a really good year...and of course will be remembered as the year I became an aunt , among many other things...including a fantastic trip to Chicago (I haven't watched this slide show in a while...maybe I'll do that before I go to bed...ha!)

So, a fond farewell to 2009 (at least for now) and hello 2010. Wow, 2010...that once seemed SO far away and here it is! I'm sure 2010 will be filled with friendship, miracles, joy, surprises, and gifts...more than I can even begin to imagine.

Good night.

Another Year

I wanted to do a really cool New Year's post and even made a movie/slide show of pictures from the year set to music. But, that is stuck on my lap top that still will not go past the black screen. I am trying not to be sad about it, still hopeful that it will be fixed. If I think too hard, it will make me sick because this will be the third time I have lost "everything" (on my computer that is) I have some files backed up, but not nearly everything. I guess I can post the year-in-review movie when my computer is back up and running.

I worked for 13 hours today and it was busy. So, I'm not feeling much like partying. I am going to a friend's house for pizza and then hoping to meet up with another friend for champagne (maybe at East Coast Midnight since I work again in the morning).

2009 was a good year, a very good year actually. Looking forward to all the blessings God has in store for me in 2010.

Well, I'd better go pick up the pizza while it's hot.
Happy New Year!

Who Needs a Wedding?

I can't believe I missed my 700th post!! I went to write this one and noticed that my last post was number 702...so, for "future reference", if my calculation was correct and the last post was, indeed number 702, then that should make this post number 700. 700 posts is a lot, but I don't necessarily think that means I have SOMETHING to say, just that I say things a lot ;o)

Back to the title of this post...I was SO excited to get that 5 AM call to see if I wanted to the day off work. Absolutely, positively, YES! And then I slept until like 10:15. I didn't get as much done around the house as I should have, but hopefully I am "recovered" since my aunt is coming over around 8:30 to help me figure out how to decorate my living room (hopefully she doesn't want to help me organize anything else because I'm not feeling THAT motivated!) I was planning to write my thank you notes today, but that didn't happen either (I do have clean laundry and ran the dishwasher, but that's about it!)

However, when I was organizing things, I realized that I got quite a lot of "wedding" type gifts. I got shelves that may or may not go in my living room. I got a 20 piece Pyrex set. I got a set of picture frames in all different sizes. I got a 107 piece flatware set with service for TWELVE (soup spoons, regular spoons, salad forks, dinner forks, knives, etc.) I also got towels, a soap dispenser, a soap dish, and a toothbrush holder. Seriously, I don't need to get married...I have everything I need! Plus, having my piano was an awesome Christmas present to myself (and also kind of a "grown up" gift ;o) ) Of course, I also did get some socks, gift cards, jewelry, and hair product. (I know, listing all these things, I know that I am "quite" spoiled, but they also are all "practical" gifts that will be useful for a very long time.)

Today was a "basketball day". I went and watched 1 1/2 games at my high school alma mater (there are three more games tomorrow, so maybe I can go to a couple more!) and then to a college game with my parents. Yesterday, when I went to the game, the woman at the gate asked for my student ID (I told her I was "old" and paid the adult price...ha!) Today, I started talking to one of the moms toward the end of the game and she asked if I was a parent...ha! (I think she was being overly cautious, but yesterday I was wearing glasses and no make-up and today I had my contacts in and did put on a little bit of make-up...still funny though!)

Well, I should pick up a little bit more before I go to bed because I can't let my aunt come into this disaster. I typed this post on my netbook because my lap top froze before I left for the basketball game. It was still frozen when I returned, so I shut it off. I have tried multiple times to turn it back on and it only comes back to black. I'm really hoping that it just needs a good night's rest and will be working perfectly in the morning (and then I can make sure I have backed up all my files!). I was getting frustrated with the sound because it was starting to "skip" again. I have already brought it in two or three times with that problem which really stinks...but at least the only problem was the sound...

Good night.

B.O.R.E.D.

So, I really shouldn't say that word because I do have a sink full of dishes, laundry to put away, Christmas cards to send, thank you notes to write, and some gifts to wrap...but, I definitely sat on my couch from the time I got out of bed (after 10:00 which means I slept for over 10 hours for the second night in a row) until now...except for a trip to my high school to catch 3/4 of a basketball game and a stop at the store for some ice melt. I spent all day on the couch logged into facebook and watching television. I even made a facebook group for my high school class that I have thought about doing for a long time. Oh yeah, maybe I should have done paperwork for my work committee that I'm over three months behind on. My "to do" list is a mile long, but I decided to do "nothing". I did take the garbage to the curb which is something I did NOT do last week on the night before garbage day (which means it wasn't REALLY "optional" this week since two weeks worth of garbage in the kitchen is pretty nasty, especially since I actually cooked a couple times during the past two weeks.) Even with all the couch sitting (I did actually sit on my piano bench for a while and practiced my music...what talent I did have seems to be coming back and I am enjoying having the piano here) I'm still hoping that I get a 5 AM phone call asking if I want the day off work tomorrow. I should be near the top, if not AT the top, of the list since I have turned it down the last couple of times they have asked. I have coupons for Carter's, things to exchange at Kohl's, and more basketball games to attend...in addition to the things that were on my "to do" list for today (you know, the ones I decided NOT "to do") Well, I suppose I should head to bed just in case I do actually have to go to work tomorrow...even if I fall asleep in the next five minutes, I will be getting much less than the 10+ I have needed recently...of course, maybe being a couch potato all day is a substitute for a couple hours of sleep...maybe.

I read a couple chapters of the next book for the "Bloom" book club last night and was excited to find out that it is set in the town where I went to college...I think it will be a good book and I "may" actually participate in the discussions this time...
Good night.

Catching Up

I think I slept for more than 10 hours last night and then took just over a 3 hour nap this afternoon (after I got up and went to church). I could have slept all night long, but we were having our family Christmas this evening (it was supposed to be this afternoon, but my sister and brother-in-law were gracious enough to alter their plans and go to a movie while I was sleeping instead of going to one tonight). I paid someone my parents know from church $40 to clear my driveway tonight, so hopefully tomorrow I will be able to leave my house in my own car if I want. I am so grateful to have family and friends that were willing to chauffeur me everywhere I needed to go (mostly work!) the past four days, but it will be nice to become independent again. My house is a complete disaster since I have hardly been here. I need to thoroughly clean the kitchen floor after my coffee spill last week. I need to spot clean and vacuum the carpet in the living room after all the snow-covered shoes that have walked on it. I'm fairly certain I have clothes in the dryer (hopefully none in the washer!) I'm about to head to bed since I'm STILL tired even after all that sleep. I have tomorrow off, so hopefully I can catch up on some of those things that need to be done since I work on Tuesday (two days off after last week doesn't feel like enough...so, if I am offered the day off, I may take it!)

That's it...still tired, but not nearly as crabby (everyone is happy about that!)
Good night!

Where to begin?

So, I have no business being awake after 10:00 tonight. I am tired and crabby and don't even know where to begin to explain all that was "this week". Why I decided that working five 12-hour shifts in 7 days, a 2 hour meeting on another day, and a night with 3 1/2 hours of sleep was a good idea is beyond me. Of course, I may forget about this week when my pay check with all those extra hours comes...or I may still be recovering.

This week we had terrible weather...the worst in YEARS! People cancelled Christmas with family. Some nurses from my floor couldn't make it back to work today since some major roads are closed. There were blizzard-like conditions and the snow lasted for a long time. It is really not fun to have a white Christmas like that when you are a grown up and work at a place that does not close for the holiday. Let's just put it bluntly "it sucks". Ok, so I'm super lucky that my dad drove me to work yesterday morning, picked me up, and brought me back again today after I spent the night there. However, I'm not sure how I'm EVER going to get to leave my house in my car any time soon...

View from my front porch...nice.

Yep, my Jetta is definitely in that garage...

And that snow on the driveway is MUCH more than a "dusting"...

anyone want to come help shovel?!

Yeah, SO not fun...tomorrow morning will be interesting (my mom did say she would pick me up and take me to Mass, but hopefully I can also get a ride home so I can spend some time here before we do our family Christmas...after five 12-hour shifts this week, I REALLY just want to be home!)

And, since I'm already crabby and "ranting", how about that the snow definitely didn't make the experience of Christmas in the hospital any better. Only about half of the patients on my floor had parents come "visit" them yesterday. Yeah, Christmas in the hospital WITHOUT your mom or dad. Just imagine how much fun it is to be the nurse of the one, five, eight, ten year old patient who are just sad because their parents aren't there to celebrate Christmas with them. Okay, so I'm "sure" the parents were sad to miss Christmas too, but it was a rough day for all of us stuck in the hospital on the Blizzard Christmas of 2009...

I had noodles with cheese for dinner again tonight and really should have gone to bed hours ago...

I'm tired and crabby, but not NEARLY as cute as him, so I'd better catch some zzz's...it's going to take some muscle to clear that snow (oh, that reminds me that my dad high-centered his Highlander this morning when we were leaving and my multiple attempts to push it out of the snow bank were futile and left me with some pretty sore muscles...nice!)

Yeah, I'd better go to bed. Good night!

Merry Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas from Me to You :o)

It's Just Different

It's nearly 5:00 on Christmas Eve. I went to bed early again last night and slept for a very long time. I stayed in my pajamas until around 3:00 when I finally decided to shower (after I wrapped presents and shoveled my driveway). I made myself bow tie noodles and Parmesan cheese. I got a call at 5:00 this morning to see if I could come to work. We "staffed light" with hopes that we wouldn't have many patients. Instead, the hospital is full of sick kids who will spend Christmas there. I'll be there tomorrow doing what I can to try and make Christmas in the hospital "not suck"...yeah, good luck with that, right?!

Not to be a "Debbie Downer", but Christmas is just different these days...it is sort of hard to be joyful when I know of so many people who are hurting, so many kids who are sick, so many people who are missing loved ones. Of course, maybe that all will change in an hour when I head to my grandparents' house and experience Christmas with my nephew for the first time. Christmas IS so much more than a tree and decorations (although, I did get sad when I went searching for my Christmas cookie candles this morning and saw ALL the decorations that never made it out this year). It isn't about getting gifts, but about a gift that was given. Tonight, I'm going to be with those I love the most and that's what will make this Christmas special. I have so much to be thankful for...and I hope that I have, at least in some way "given this Christmas away" and have been "His hands, His feet, His love"

Merry Christmas.

What if I told you
You have the power
To give someone hope
Beyond their wildest dreams
What if I told you
It’s right there in your hands
In your hands

It’s hard to imagine
How something so small
Can make all the difference
Tear down the tallest wall
What if December
Looked different this year
What if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away

It’s feeding the hungry
Serving the poor
It’s telling the orphan
You’re not forgotten anymore
It’s doing what love does
Even when no one’s watching you

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away
For God so loved the world
That He gave His only Son
So we could be
His hands, His feet, His love
His love

What if I told you
You have the power
To give someone hope
Far beyond their wildest dreams
What if December
Looked different this year
Yah what if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away

Give this Christmas away
You have the power
Just give it away
Give it away
Give it away
This Christmas
Give it away
Give Christmas away
Give it away

In the Spirit

At around 10:30 this evening, I finally decided to at least put up my little tree. I didn't remember that I had left the lights on (and the bow that the "A-team mom" had put on the tree when she used it last year). So, it took less than five minutes to pull it out of the box, put it on my piano, and plug it in. Can't believe it took me until December 22 to do that, but it's up. I couldn't figure out how to take a good picture of it, so this is it...

Thankfully, this quote came in my "inbox" today, which made me feel like less of a "Scrooge"...

"It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you... yes, it is Christmas every time you smile at your brother and offer him your hand." ~Mother Teresa 1910-1997

I'm working tomorrow...they will probably call to see if I want the day off, but as of right now, I think I will go to work. Unfortunately, the forecast doesn't look very good for the rest of this week, so I am packing a bag with hopes I will not need to spend the night at the hospital (but at least I will be prepared if I have to). It actually may be tougher to get there on the 25-26 since the worst is supposed to hit on the 24th, but at least I live close to work (and my parents are willing to drive me in their vehicle with four-wheel drive if necessary)

Well, I'd better head to bed in case the bad weather hits while I'm asleep and I need to shovel before I go to work...hopefully not because that is not fun!

Good night.