Just over a week ago, I was bawling after trying to "talk it out". I was going to follow that up with a post called "Holy Hormones", but I haven't heard from Aunt Flo, so not sure what that was all about...just glad that the bit of irrational-ness didn't last long. I haven't even needed a "talking it out take two" post yet because things just turned around. In fact, I would go so far as to say I feel "giddy with gladness" or something equally as "cheesy", but true. I've been doing LOTS of smiling (and crying at the good parts) and even though there will surely be tears at the appointment with my counselor tomorrow, I don't foresee any coming from sadness.
Last week, I wasn't much looking forward to this week since I have to be at work for one thing or another every day. Little did I know how much I would be lifted up by being at work...although I shouldn't be THAT surprised considering I feel like what I do is my ministry rather than simply a "job"! However, I've really been able to see God working the past few days and I am so grateful for that. From having the opportunity to nominate my manager for an award that honors her dedication to the staff and patients/families to sharing my love of the nursing career with high school sophomores. From finding a day care on my way to work that takes foster children and open 24/7 to spending time with a friend who knows the foster care system well and will be an awesome resource to me should God have a child in mind who is to be in my home. A weekend that gave me time to spend with my mom, sister and nephew and also time to spend having "normal" conversations with my patients and their families during a non-crazy shift. A day when it seemed everyone was excited to see me...
And then there was today. Although I had a meeting this afternoon at work, this morning was breakfast with "my Stephanie". While I have made a point to not use names of my non-blog friends on this blog, it doesn't work as well in this instance. I think everyone needs "a Stephanie" and I definitely let her know that today :o) I have known "Stephanie" for a very long time. I baby-sat for her kids when I was in junior high/high school. I don't remember her treating me like "a kid" and we have been good friends for quite some time (well, I started high school in 1994, so it's been over fifteen years!) She has been there for me so many times and I have often called her my "put things in perspective friend". She knows my family, so she understands how they are, but is not part of the family so can either "tell me like it is" or help me work through things. She is encouraging, but also honest even when "the truth hurts". I just love her :o) She has been a huge blessing to me for years...and it had been MONTHS since we had spoken, so it was great to catch up. Hopefully we won't go as long in between meetings, but when you have "a Stephanie", no matter how much time passes, there is an instant connection and it is as if no time has passed.
I talked to the case worker at the foster care agency about the day care and she said that the director is "great". That was reassuring, and she and I visited for a little while. Only God knows what, if anything, will happen with my being licensed to have children in my home, a day care down the street, and love in my heart, but I suppose I have done my part for the time being.
The meeting I had today was with nurses from all over the hospital from staff nurses like myself all the way up to nurse managers and directors. I think my co-workers would be surprised to know that I am considered a "trouble maker" in this group. I am pretty outspoken, but so far no one has called me out as being "inappropriate" and I guess SOMEONE needs to be the "class clown", so it may as well be me...ha! It actually is pretty cool to be "known" on a committee like this that is actually REALLY important to the way the hospital functions/improves. There are lots of exciting things "coming down the pipe" and I'm going to be right in the middle of all that with the opportunity to make change and speak to the changes/good things that are happening in my area. A friend is on the committee with me and I guess it is together that we are "trouble" ;o) and it was nice to get to visit with her for a while after the meeting to "catch up" on what's going on with her (we were supposed to go to a meeting last week but she was sick, so I don't think I'd seen her since New Year's Eve).
Right after she left, I ran right into the mom who never got a "blog name" besides "my new friend". I "waved" to her in passing on New Year's, but think that was the last time I saw her. I ran into her husband a couple times in the past week, but not her. AND, today was her birthday! I was going to text/email her, but never got around to it...how awesome that I actually got to SEE her on her birthday and give her "Happy" wishes in person (and a hug too!) We visited for a while which was SO nice! I'm going to try and "hook her up" with the mom of one of the patients I cared for the past two days who would be a great "transplant mom" resource for her. The mom of "the baby" would be great too, but she lives pretty far away...I guess the world is small these days with the Internet and texting and such, so maybe I will talk to both of them :o) I was SO excited to run into them...what a fabulous day!
But it didn't stop there! I watched a twitter feed of people tweeting about the Biggest Loser while I watched the show which was highly entertaining (especially considering I was watching it "live" rather than on DVR sans commercials). People had LOTS to say about the happenings on the show...ha! After the show, I quickly checked my email (I've been REALLY bad at keeping up with email AND with reading blog posts these days). I found an email from the Spiritual Director I met with last week. I think I will just type the email in its entirety...I teared up before I was even half way through because I thought it was SO sweet of her to think about me!
I ran across some quotes recently that made me think about the witness of your life. One was similar to the Francis of Assisi quote about preaching at all times, using words when necessary. Here it is:
"Be careful of what you say and do, for you may be the only Bible some people will ever read." (Oscar Romero, former Archbishop of El Salvador)
The other quote is from Mother Teresa. It reminded me of the way your eyes lit up talking about some of the people you encounter in your work. I know that your patients and their families are touched by your kindess and care for them. You live out these words:
"Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness--kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
That's how I see you interacting. your job is more than a way of earning a living. It is a ministry as you share the love of God.
What a difference a week makes, but I guess maybe "talking it out" allowed me to have my eyes, ears, and heart open to God working all around me, in big ways AND in little things. I am blessed.
Good night.
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