On My Soap Box

We still have a really low census at work which is good for the kids, but not so good for the pay check. I was "fortunate" to be able to work both yesterday and today (I really should have remembered that today when I was running around like crazy and getting super annoyed by little things!) I actually don't go back to work until Friday, but have a busy week ahead of me!

Some things happened the past two days at work that really upset me. I'm not sure if my feelings are warranted or not, but they are bothering me, so I am going to go ahead and journal about them (one good reason I have this "anonymous" blog because even though I'm about to be VERY general, it would be blatantly obvious who I was talking about if you worked on my floor!)

Okay, so one of our chronically ill children from out-of-state is about to turn one. No one knew that her mom was pregnant, even though this child gets frequent check ups. However, she gave birth to a baby last week...wow! (I saw her a couple weeks ago and thought she looked pregnant, but no one else did which is a little crazy to me, but the truth.) Anyway, the "rumor" on the floor was that the mom was considering giving up the baby for adoption. As far as we know, there wasn't much/any in terms of pre-natal care and she likely hid the pregnancy out of embarrassment (you know, two kids in a year, young, maybe not married...) It is very unfortunate that she didn't feel comfortable enough with the team here to get help, but this mom is SUPER nice, but also REALLY quiet/shy. I remember there being a really nice (quiet/shy) dad, but maybe things have changed in that relationship. Anyway, for me, this sounded like a really brave choice. Even though she is a GREAT mom and likely COULD raise two small babies (one of which with a chronic illness), she obviously was thinking that this baby could have other opportunities if raised in a different environment. The people I work with, however, were overwhelmingly against the idea of her giving this baby up for adoption. They seemed to think she would regret it later, and basically that it was not the right choice. I just couldn't believe how opposed everyone was to the idea of adoption, even though having two babies living far from home is quite the financial (and emotional) undertaking especially as a young mom. Sure, if she decides to raise these two kids, more power to her and I pray that she gets the support she needs. However, MY take is that adoption is not an option that should be ruled out so quickly. Why is it wrong to want more for your child than you think you are able to give? I think adoption is a courageous choice, and it saddens me a bit that people likely will try and talk this mom out of that decision. Of course, I pray for whatever is best for that mom and both of those babies, but I just couldn't believe how many of my co-workers had such a negative view of adoption.

Also, yesterday I heard about three really great colleagues (a coordinator, a social worker, and a pharmacist) who will be leaving for different jobs shortly...you know, change is tough for me and these people will really be missed. Today, the nurses in my area spent a bit of time looking for new jobs, talking about different jobs, sharing names of other nurses who also were looking for jobs. I know a lot of people are upset about having cut hours, myself included, but my job is so much more than that and I believe it would take a LOT for me to give up something that is so much a PART of me. I guess that's the difference between me and some of my co-workers. I don't even really like to listen to people say bad things about our job...and even told them that I had to leave while they looked for other jobs (it made me really uncomfortable for some reason).

I know I was off almost all of last week, but after working the past two days, I am looking forward to some time away from the people there (I guess my "Dale Carnegie" training got me to spend time talking to my co-workers and attempting to engage in conversation with "them", but I'm not so sure I like it...or how long I will continue to do that because it just upsets me!)

Well, I decided to make another recipe from my D. D. cook book. I REALLY wanted to order a pizza, but I'm trying to watch my spending AND my diet, so managed to resist that temptation tonight. I did have some candy earlier and ALSO ate some buttery biscuits for dinner, but this was my "main" dinner. I love breakfast food, so decided to try this recipe. I liked it pretty well, but have no idea how she gets her children to eat it, because it totally tasted like "grown-up food" to me.

Baked Egg Puffs
Nonstick cooking spray
2 large eggs
4 large egg whites
1/2 cup yellow squash or butternut squash puree
2 tablespoons shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat 4 ramekins or coffee cups with cooking spray and set on a baking sheet. (I should have used coffee cups since I don't have "ramekins", but actually just used pyrex...ha!)
2. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, egg whites, squash puree, cheese, flour, baking powder, and salt until combined. Divide the mixture among the ramekins or cups and bake until the tops are puffed up and the eggs are no longer runny in the center when pierced with the tip of a knife, 13-15 minutes. Serve immediately.

Tomorrow, I get to go to my alma mater and welcome the seniors into the alumnae association. I LOVE that I get to do that (almost as much as I love talking to the sophomores about being a nurse). I also have a softball game if it stops raining. My shin is still sore from where the ball hit it last week. The ice helped, so I didn't have quite as impressive of a bruise to photograph...but it is still "pretty".

Time for bed (after watching last weeks Law and Order SVU on DVR!)
Good night.

Lazy Days

I've worked ONE day this week (yesterday) and spent pretty much the entire day sitting because I couldn't get up to do anything. I even took a nap this afternoon because I thought I would fall asleep during Mass if I didn't! That is so awful!

This morning, I had choir practice since next Saturday a group of alums is singing for their former choir director who is turning 99. This was my first time rehearsing with this choir and it was different...I probably should have rehearsed a little before I went since I only knew a couple of the songs! Oh well, it worked out (besides going about 40 minutes over the scheduled time and I didn't eat before I went!)

One of the deacons came the homily at Mass today and he did a good job (my mind wandered a few times, but that's par for the course since I have issues focusing when there is so much inside my head!) I wrote down a couple of the things he said: "the promise of 'peace' is not for the absence of turmoil"..."true peace comes from within"..."we don't know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future"... It was nice, and I got to see some people I know (which obviously happens when you've been going to the same church for over 25 years...ha!)

I ordered my mom and sister some pictures and bought some frames from Kohl's. I also made my sister a photo book, but didn't do that until a couple of days ago, so it hasn't arrived yet.

I am still doing "ok" with my healthier eating. I just finished a soy chocolate milk/frozen strawberry smoothie with a little bit of flax seed for dinner (I may have some chips and salsa for a snack later, but for now I'm full!) Earlier today, I made another recipe from my Deceptively Delicious cookbook. This is what I posted on facebook about it:
________
So...I've been trying to eat healthy this week (besides that whole trip to the Mexican restaurant, eating LOTS of pepperoni as a snack, and candy from the boss' office multiple times yesterday...) and decided to try the other macaroni and cheese recipe from my Deceptively Delicious cook book. I LOVE pasta and cheese, so this worked for me...even though it didn't "really" work. I didn't follow the recipe exactly which MAY have been my problem because the cheese didn't exactly stick to the noodles (weird!) I also used "full fat" cheeses because that's what I had. Therefore, this probably wasn't that healthy, but cheese is yummy...ha! :) I only used one pan because dirtying two pans seems silly, I still don't have paprika, and used the butternut squash puree I made earlier this week.

Macaroni and Cheese
1 1/2 cups elbow macaroni
Nonstick cooking spray
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/2 cup nonfat (skim) milk
1/2 cup butternut squash or cauliflower puree
1 1/2 cups shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese (about 8 ounces)
4 ounces (almost 1/4 cup) reduced-fat or nonfat cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon pepper

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, add the macaroni, and cook according to package directions until al dente. Drain in a colander.
2. While the macaroni is cooking, coat a large saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat. Add the oil, the the flour, and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture resembles a thick paste but has not browned, 1-2 minutes.
3. Add the milk and cook, stirring every now and then, until the mixture begins to thicken, 3-4 minutes. Add the vegetable puree, Cheddar cheese, cream cheese, and seasonings, and sir until the cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the macaroni and serve warm.
_________________
If you try this, let me know how YOURS turns out :)
__________

Well, I'm not sure if I'm going to participate in the "Bloom" book discussions, but tomorrow should be the first video from Jessica and Angie (that I may or may not have time to watch tomorrow). However, I want to re-read the first three chapters before I continue on because I read them in the mall (in Nashville) and was more than a little distracted. So, I'd better stop typing, stop watching TV, and get to reading :)

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my sister, and all moms :) At Mass, they did a blessing of moms, but before they did that, we prayed for those who have lost children, and those who have lost moms which was really nice.

Good night!

Flashback Friday--Forgotten "Fotos"

Even though I'm tired and have a headache, I wanted to post because I was a little "whiny" in yesterday's post. In looking at the schedule today at work, I foresee more days off without pay, but am trusting that things will work out the way they are "supposed" to. I will likely have to make some lifestyle changes (at least temporarily), but at least I have a job, a house, a car, my family...

I'm glad I came up with this "Flashback Friday" idea last night because it (maybe) will help me keep it short. The other day when I was "cleaning" my bedroom, I found a memory card for my camera. I had no idea what was on it until I went to upload pictures tonight. I decided to choose photos #10, 22, and 79 for my birth date. I was definitely hoping none of those would be terribly unflattering pictures of me that didn't get deleted! The card contained one picture from 2007 and the rest from the first six months of 2008. So, here goes:

Photo #10 is a picture of me at the beach in California February 2008. We were at Laguna Beach where I first met my girl friend when we were ten. We have remained friends since then :)

Photo #22 is a not-so-flattering-but-not-too-terrible picture of me from my cousin's birthday in March 2008. (And, apparently the first time I wrote about this, I didn't think it was THAT bad of a picture since I went ahead and posted it!)

Photo #79 is from May 2008. It is of "the baby" right after they removed him from dialysis for the first time post-transplant. I can't believe how little he is (and how sick he still looks in this picture even though he looks a TON better than he did!) because he is just five months away from being a THREE year old!

Tonight, I admitted a baby for transplant. My heart just broke for these parents who actually had never set foot on my floor before today (to my knowledge). There is lots of hustle and bustle during that pre-transplant phase with labs and tests and IVs without even taking into the account the emotional toll that "call" has to take (and all questions they have to answer for our paperwork!) Thankfully, we were able to get the things we needed to do TO the child done quickly so they were able to spend some time with the baby before the organs got there. We explained that this was part of the reason we did everything all at once (even though the poor baby OBVIOUSLY didn't like all the poking and prodding!), so I think they understood. I can't wait to see that baby in a few days after the "new parts" are working :)

Time for bed...I stayed up WAY too late to work a 12-hour shift!
Good night.

Edited to add--this was the "quote of the day": "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Mohandas Gandhi
I used "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today" as the beginning quote to my college applications, but have never heard this version. I like it :)

That's a Tough One

I've been contemplating using the blog title "The Other Shoe" for a while now and write about my "wondering" on if I'm going to experience the other shoe dropping since my life thus far has been relatively "smooth sailing". I actually linked to a blog post today with reference to this song which contains the lyrics "I guess we're all one phone call from our knees..." (meaning one phone call can change your life). I'm not quite at the point where I want to "go there", but I won't say that today was easy.

My floor has been over-staffed for a while, but hopefully that will change with summer vacations and maternity leave. We also have been having lots of "low-census" days. It is so hard to say that I want kids to be in the hospital, but the reality is that if there aren't kids to take care of, I don't have a job. The combination of over-staffing and low-census has meant that nurses are getting forced to stay home. It rotates through by date and people can volunteer to stay home if they want, but it is getting to the point that NO ONE is volunteering. I was forced to stay home today for at least the third time this year. With my unexpected sick day before my trip to Nashville, I'm nearly out of PTO. Our "time off bank" is for sick days, vacation days, and call-off days. Since I work 12-hour shifts, it gets wiped out pretty quickly. Even before having to use 12-hours of PTO today, I thought it was going to be pretty close hours-wise in getting my next vacation paid. After today, I'm fairly certain that at least a portion of my vacation (a combination of my trip to see Ginger and an out-of-town family wedding) will be unpaid. And, there is no guarantee that I won't be forced to stay at home again during the time between now and then...

I never imagined that I would have trouble getting hours when I became a nurse eight years ago. I do know that I am VERY fortunate to have a job in this economy, but I never really thought it would affect me in the health care industry. Now, I'm not writing this because I want sympathy (or money...ha!) but because it has put me in a tough place. Had I not had my credit card account shut down temporarily (and currently) while they figure out some fraudulent charges, my money would already be helping the people in Nashville (here's one place accepting donations). I love using my money to do things for other people--whether it be gift cards, care packages, donations for my floor, gifts for my patients, presents for my nephew, or something else, I just LOVE brightening someone else's day. While I know that there are gifts money can't buy, money DOES buy some pretty nice gifts :) I've been so sad looking at all the pictures of the flooding and wanting SO badly to DO something. Typically, I wouldn't have thought twice, but it is going to take some extra prayers to decide what I am "supposed" to do (it's highly likely I'll end up sending some amount of money, but I'm going to have to do some more thinking and praying).

Because I unexpectedly got the day off work, I was able to spend the day at the zoo with my sister and nephew. Now, that did make me forget about my "money situation" for a while and we had a great time. I also was able to go to dinner with my parents and my sister's family (they were going to bring me food, but it was great to actually be there!) Actually, all of the times that I have been "forced" to stay home from work, it has provided an opportunity for me to do something else that I wanted/needed to do...so, I really shouldn't complain THAT much!

Another tough situation I had today was in regards to my foster parents status. I don't think I mentioned that I got a call while I was on vacation. I didn't get it until I got home, but I would have had my "choice" of three little ones (under age 5) that they were willing to split. When I called the case worker back, I mentioned that I would be out-of-town over Memorial Day weekend. She suggested that I wait to take a child until after that because it would be hard to get respite care over the holiday (unless, of course, it was a situation where the child wouldn't be in my care for that long). However, a different case worker called me with another thirteen-year-old girl. She gave me some information and it sounded like it "potentially" could work...except for the fact that her school is way across town, I work 12-hour shifts, 13-year-olds can't go to day care, and I'm going out-of-town at the end of the month. So, I politely declined. She called me back a few hours later to let me know that they still hadn't found placement but that it sounded like they were willing to help with transportation. I still wasn't sure because leaving a 13-year-old foster girl at home alone for hours at a time didn't sound like a great idea (especially starting TOMORROW). I made another phone call to the caseworker who had more information about the girl. She mentioned that the girl's school had an early dismissal tomorrow and that pretty much was the FINAL deciding factor (I think I would have had to say "no" anyway). That was a tough one, though...I'm not sure middle/junior high school age is where I should start, but I'm keeping an open mind and trust that the timing will work out when it is supposed to with the right child.

Well, that was a much longer post than I anticipated, but I feel better getting it all out. I'm so used to writing a check without even giving it a second thought, and not being able to do that has been really tough. However, I know that tomorrow is another day and whatever I'm supposed to do will be clear in due time.

Oh, I almost forgot--today was Nurses' Day. My hospital celebrates all week, but since I've been gone all week, I missed out on the celebrating (I did drop off my olives and guacamole this morning). Each unit gets to nominate an "Extraordinary Nurse" every year. For two years I was the chairperson of our unit council and went to meetings three times a month. I kept thinking that one of these years, I would get nominated. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed that this year's "Extraordinary Nurse" was not me (although the nurses who WAS nominated is great!). I think that my "window" has passed and I will just have to get my "award" on a smaller scale on an individual patient basis and in my own heart :)

Okay, seriously need to go to bed...you know, since I WILL have to get up and work a 12-hour shift tomorrow :)
Good night.

About those changes...

I've just had the past three days off work and, while I definitely could have/should have been more productive around the house, I've done a fairly good job with my "changes".

All three mornings (or early afternoons as the case may be), I had hot breakfasts of high fiber/organic foods (steel cut oats one day, 10 grain hot cereal another day...) I had carrots for a snack one day, grapes for snacks during the day a couple days. Just before Easter, I bought the Deceptively Delicious cookbook and am going to try and incorporate those recipes into my diet in hopes of getting more nutritious foods into my body. I have a bit of a portion control issue, but also have trouble eating a well-rounded meal because cooking for one person is a challenge for me. To be honest, I eat some combination of noodles and cheese multiple times a week...and sometimes eat candy for dinner if it's there because that doesn't involve any sort of preparation. I weighed myself at Curves on Monday and weighed even more than I thought, so I definitely have my work cut out for me, but am going to try.

So, yesterday, I made butternut squash puree which is one of the "staples" in the book. I was going to make and freeze a bunch of purees, but was more ambitious yesterday than I was today when it came to going to the grocery store and cooking vegetables. Today, I made macaroni and cheese. This is the "note" I posted on facebook with the recipe:

I have decided that I should try the recipes from this cookbook to force myself to cook and also eat healthier...not sure how it will go, but am going to give it a try! For this recipe, I used chickpeas and some kind of Italian blend cheese since I didn't have Cheddar. I will admit that it definitely tastes "different", but wasn't bad. I also did not have paprika, so that could possibly change the flavor a little. The recipe in the book says that it serves 8, but I have no idea how that is possible unless each person eats like five noodles because it only calls for 1 1/2 cups of pasta. It makes two Amanda-size servings :) I also only used one pan because I didn't see the use in dirtying two pans. Okay. Here goes:

Macaroni and Cheese (with beans)
1 1/2 cups whole-wheat elbow macaroni
1 cup nonfat (skim) milk
1/2 cup canned navy beans, chickpeas, or white beans, rinsed, drained, and pureed
Nonstick cooking spray
1 1/2 cups shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese (about 8 ounces)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon pepper

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, add the macaroni, and cook according to package directions until al dente. Drain in a colander.
2. While the macaroni is cooking, combine the milk and the beans in a food processor and process until pureed.
3. Coat a large saucepan with cooking spray and set it over medium heat. Add the bean mixture to the pan and cook, stirring until smooth, 1-2 minutes. Add the cheese and cook until melted and creamy, 1-2 minutes longer. Stir in the salt, garlic powder, paprika, and pepper. Stir in the macaroni and serve warm.

Well, that was my late lunch/early dinner and I had chips, salsa, and a Woodchuck for dinner (and some avocado since I made guacamole to bring for our Nurses' Day pot luck tomorrow at work) so I'm a work in progress for sure.

As far as exercise, I went to Curves on Monday and today. Yesterday, I had a softball game and I figure that playing catcher for an hour is good exercise. My shin sent a throw from the plate all the way to first base so I've been icing it, hoping it won't bruise TOO badly!

I actually did turn my computer off for 60 minutes (or more) each day, but definitely could have made better use of my time. However, I did a little organizing in my bedroom, stripped paint off register vents (so they can be spray painted to coordinate with my living room and bathroom), and did some laundry and dishes. You would think that I would have cleared off my couch and coffee table, but I did not (guess I'm not going to be inviting in anyone who "stops by" any time soon...ha!)

This next thing I "did" could be a little TMI, but I'm going to write about it anyway (since this is my journal and all...ha!) I heard about a center that deals with natural family planning, infertility, and works with other women's health issues. While I'm obviously not in need of of the pregnancy counseling stuff right now, they work with women to learn about their cycle, etc. It sounded interesting to me and I've been meaning to call. So, today I finally did (after looking around the web site for about thirty minutes debating on whether I should or should not call). The woman told me that since I have irregular cycles, that IS a women's health issue that should be checked out. It will be about $350 for the year which is quite pricey, but I guess if there are problems that can be fixed now rather than waiting until later to see if there are issues, it is worth it. I have no idea if/when I will get married or if/when I will have children, but no matter what, I am thirty years old right now and will not be getting any younger. So, I will be going to an introductory session on June 3 (after I get home from visiting Ginger) and go from there. I'm really excited to learn more about this, and about myself.

Well, it's getting late and I've spent the better part of the past three days sitting on the couch, so a 5:30 alarm followed by a 12+ hour shift could be tough. So, I'd better head to bed.

Good night.

Tired Eyes

I have no clue why I'm so tired, but it's mostly my eyes. I got plenty of sleep, but couldn't get myself to do anything and spent much of the day staring at my computer and the TV with little focus. I did go to Curves and mowed my lawn. I tried going to watch my cousin play tennis, but it started pouring before she played. I did have dinner with her, her sister, and my aunt and uncle which was nice. Then, I went to my cousin's apartment since I haven't seen it and we had a nice visit. Now I have found my place on the couch an my 60 minutes with the computer off either isn't going to happen or will happen while I watch my DVR of "Medium"...

I guess a lot of my attention has been to the coverage of the floods in Nashville. The pictures and stories are just devastating. It's so hard to believe that the places I visited (particularly the ones from this day) are under water. It just makes me want to cry. I actually DID cry when I watched this video.



I have visited Nashville at least four times, including a trip to the Grand Ole Opry to see Martina McBride for my 26th birthday. A picture showing a flooded Opry brought tears to my eyes. I found a picture that shows the same area of town that I took pictures of just last week. I created a collage to show the "before" and "after". The pond at my aunt and uncle's house flooded to a point that it got pretty close to their back porch (a tree that is typically 10 feet away from the pond is under water). It is just so sad...

I saw this video posted on a blog yesterday. It tells the story of how the song "It is Well With My Soul" came to be. It seems like I have heard it previously, but had forgotten. It actually is a really sad story...and amazing that he was able to have such good words to say during a tragic time in his life.

I actually heard THIS version on the way to work yesterday...weird (I just remembered that!)

My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Nashville and the surrounding areas...tomorrow, I need to be more productive around my house.
Good night.

Crossroads

I definitely didn't think I was heading toward a post I would title "Crossroads", but events of the past few days put me into a different place on a number of different levels...and I'm not sure what to think.

I recently found a blog that looks like it will be interesting. I haven't delved too deeply into it, but keep coming back to her most recent post. I don't know much/anything about her, but I DO know that she writes much shorter posts than I do...ha! Anyway, I have no clue what is going on in her life that led to that post, but I have found myself thinking about her, praying for her "next step", and looking forward to seeing where she is led. I also keep going back to that post to read one of the comments. I think I may need to put her words somewhere I can easily find "This is exactly where I am right now...trying to remember that His timing is always perfect and that just because I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life doesn't mean that I'm not exactly where I should be." Where were those words months ago when I needed it most?!...well, "His timing is always perfect..." and right now I am at a point where I believe it :)

Yesterday, I road with my mom, sister, and nephew to my cousin's wedding shower which was 2 1/2 hours away. I did talk to my mom about the comment she made to me about "my needs" and how "not nice" it was. It actually felt really good to speak up for myself. She apologized and said that wasn't what she meant. I accepted her apology so we're "all good". I also had an interesting conversation with my sister about baby names. Apparently, both of us really like "A" names, and I'm glad we talked because two of "my" girl names are ones that SHE also likes (and some of my "alternatives" are ones she likes too!)...at this point, it is highly likely she will have a second child before I have my first and I suppose what she decides to do with the information is up to her, but I think she'll let me keep "my" names (of course one/both of us need to HAVE a daughter before this even becomes an issue...ha!) This is probably not the right place to write this, but maybe if I "sneak" it it, then it won't be as anxiety-inducing...it seems there is another "non-date" or maybe a "date" in my (not too distant) future. Maybe I'll leave the details (what little I have) out for now, but that too is a "crossroads".

When we arrived at my grandparents' house before the shower, I discovered that three of my cousins that live here in town were not attending the shower. I couldn't believe that my cousins would skip the shower of our cousin (the third one to get married in our family). I feel like it would have been a huge deal if I wouldn't have gone and a HUGE deal if my sister and nephew had skipped it...even though it was five hours in the car in one day. Maybe I am wrong, but it just seems like "people" would have been upset with us. Then, my brother-in-law may not be able to get the day of the wedding off work, and one of my cousins isn't going to stay for much of the reception because she is going out of the country early the next day for vacation. When did this happen that we couldn't just go hang out with the family whenever? When did we reach this "crossroads" where other commitments in life just happen and choices have to be made? Did my parents have to make decisions like this? Did it feel as bad for them when family gatherings had to be skipped? I feel like I would have a hard time accepting that family members had things come up that kept them from my shower. Although, I guess expecting that people can take a day trip like that is expecting a lot. I don't think I could move any further away from my family because missing things would be SO hard (I'm sure having a spouse would make things even more challenging...especially since my family is SO large that it can be intimidating/overwhelming!)

(hmm, apparently, I didn't take a hint from the "brief blogger"...ha!)

Stephanie is dealing with a some of the same "blogging crossroads" I wrote about in this post. Interesting that it happened within the same week! I am not to the point of making the kind of changes she is doing, but I will continue to evaluate and re-evaluate this blog, what it means to me, and how I ought to use it. Like the song says, I believe that "people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return..." and, as Corrie ten Boom said "Every experience God gives us, every person He brings into our lives, is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see." So, I don't want to make my blog private...and at this point I don't feel the need to do that. However, this is a "crossroads" I likely will experience again.

Yesterday while on the road, we stopped at two McDonald's and a Burger King. Some how, I did not have fries OR ice cream (or a coffee). Friday night, I got soup and salad at the restaurant. I had carrots for a snack last night. I'm planning to go to Curves in the morning, and probably should mow my lawn. So, maybe I'm doing to be able to make some of these changes...

Work was good today...surprisingly enough. I was on a "side" with one other nurse, no nursing assistant, and six patients. Typically, this nurse is "needy" and has a hard time managing her assignment. So, I was a bit nervous about what the day was going to be like. As it turns out, all six of the patients should be going home by mid-week. So, they are much "less sick" than our patients and it ended up being a REALLY nice day! Some of the kiddos we have right now are super cute and fun and I had a good time playing with them :o) I do hope the census picks up a bit, though, because I can't afford to have a day without pay and will BARELY have enough PTO to cover the time I am visiting Ginger (12 hours really zaps your PTO bank!)

Well, I suppose I should go to bed. I have the next three days off and am looking forward to that!
Good night.

Little Bit of Random

I was at a conference all day and am invited to a birthday party tonight. After working the past two days and STILL dealing with this cold, I'm sleepy and am thinking a nap is a necessity if I want to have fun at the party. So, I'll type fast :)

• The woman next to me at the conference balanced her checkbook and read the newspaper during the first presentation. She again read the paper during the last presentation and some of the rest of the time it looked like she was figuring out her calendar, grocery list, something...I tried to ignore what she was doing because it was annoying.
• However, she was WAY less annoying than the two women behind me. They talked to each other all day long. Yes, you read that correctly--during EVERY.SINGLE.PRESENTATION. It was so rude and disrespectful and irritating. My blood was boiling and it felt like smoke was coming through my ears...I was SO mad! They were bothering (at least) two other women, but none of us said anything and apparently our looks did nothing to stop them. At one point, one of them took the time to clean out her purse...yes, in the middle of the presentations. My final "look back" incited the comment of "if you wanted to pay attention, you shouldn't have sat in the back..." Oh yes she did...only whispered to her friend and not DIRECTLY to me...I was too shocked to have a response. I don't "get" some people.
• I had a "little" panic attack when I noticed that a visitor to my blog came from a link on fb. I have worked for nearly three years to keep my blog "safe", fairly private, and mostly anonymous. I went into panic mode thinking that I had somehow linked my blog to my fb page. From what I can tell, I have not done that, but apparently it must be on fb somehow/somewhere...guess I'll just have to pray that God continues to keep this blog in the right hands. At times, I have thought about really making this a private blog, but I have "met" so many great people from blogging that it hasn't felt "right" to put a stop to "meeting" any new people...
• My cousin is having a wedding shower out of town tomorrow. I requested the day off, and was thinking that I would ride with my mom, sister, and nephew (or with one of my other aunts). I hadn't really figured out any plans, but last night asked my mom if I could ride with her. She seemed VERY surprised that I was off work even though I feel like I told her multiple times (and said that this was why I was ASKING for a ride). A little bit ago, she called to give me more details of our departure plans...and had to drop in a little comment about my "little demands". I definitely called her out on that considering I have barely talked to her this week and haven't been over to visit. She did a little bit of backpedaling and said work has been crazy...okay, totally not my fault.
• There's my little bit of random...I seriously need a nap so I'm not a "party pooper" :)
  

Bring the Rain

Okay, so I "sort of" stole the title from Angie's blog (and from this song). But, I seriously LOVE thunderstorms and there is one going on right outside my window. :) So, I think I'm going to turn off my computer (good idea since where there is thunder, there is usually lighting) and the TV and get ready for bed. I am over halfway through reading Angie's book "I Will Carry You" and should be able to finish it before I go to bed. MckMama posted this video...and is having a giveaway for a copy of the book. If you don't win a copy and want to borrow mine when I'm done, I'll let you...as long as you promise to send it back :) (and, I probably shouldn't admit this, but I did carry it around with me my whole vacation in Nashville in case I "happened" to run into her...alas, my copy remains "unautographed"...ha ha!)




Time to grab my blanket and my book and listen to the thunder and the rain. Good times (even better if I didn't have to keep a tissue box within arms reach at all times, but it is what it is).
Night!

So....

So...what was that about changes?!

I was awake past midnight which made for a very short night.
I could not pass up the Oatmeal Cream Pies left in the break room by a home health company.
I followed up my dinner of salad with "dessert" of chips and salsa.
I have been on my computer AND watching TV since I got home from work.
I still have a stuffy/runny nose and am coughing up nasty stuff.
I have sore thighs, back, and arms from my softball game (but that's a good thing!)
I am really tired and need to go to bed...back to work tomorrow!
Good night!

P.S. This could be a record-breaking "shortest post ever"...has to be close anyway...ha!

Ch-ch-changes

So...that title came to me, but I am not sure I REALLY knew this David Bowie song...ha!

Today was mostly about getting readjusted to home, but I really think I need to make some changes. I'm hoping that if I put them here, that will make me more accountable.

I really need to start looking more closely at my diet and exercise. I don't want to "commit" to a weight loss goal because I can't remember the last time I was AT the weight I would like to be. According to the BMI Calculator, I am "overweight". According to that calculator, it looks like I would need to lose four pounds to get into the "normal" range. It isn't all about weight, though, because I'm also starting to not like the way I feel in my clothes. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do about all this (I don't have "a plan"), but I definitely would LOVE to feel better about the way I look by the time I go visit Ginger (that means I have "one month and two days" according to my countdown). She doesn't know it yet, but I'm thinking it would be fun to have her take some photographs of me. I'm not sure what I would DO with said photographs, but when I mentioned something to my aunt, she thought that would be very nice :) Anyway, losing a little bit of weight would make that experience much more pleasant (even though apparently a good photographer and a little Photoshop can do amazing things!)

The other "change" is regarding my computer. I have found that it is a huge distraction for me, and it is starting to affect other things. So, my "plan" is to actually turn my computer OFF for (at least) 60 minutes (at least on the days that I am off) and during that time, I can do "whatever". Today, I wasn't super productive during the time that my computer was "off" (I ate dinner, folded some laundry, watched some TV, and did some pre-softball game stretching). However, earlier in the day I did walk to the post office/grocery store and also mowed my lawn. Tonight, I had my first softball game (I got one hit and got out the other two times I batted; I also tagged a girl out at home...yay!) So, I did an "OK" job, but really think this will be good for me.

So, a couple of changes that should be helpful, and manageable. I had my last Dale Carnegie class and we were asked to continue with THOSE changes, so I guess "technically" I should add those changes to this post as well. My goal for the class was to be more open to conversing with my peers. Today, a "blog friend" made a comment about me being "funny". It isn't the first time that a friend, especially one who knows me from here, has commented about my sense of humor/"funny". I'm not exactly sure that any of my co-workers would use that word to describe me...I could be wrong, but I honestly don't think that would be in their "top ten words to describe Amanda". I'm just different when I'm around my co-workers, different even than I am with the parents of my patients. In some ways, I think that's okay, but in others, I think it would be better for teamwork/trust if they understood me more.

Anyway, there's where I am. I still have my cold, and now I'm planning to be sore from my first softball game at catcher. I probably should shower before I go to bed considering I mowed the lawn AND played a softball game. I haven't worked since April 18, so my 5:30 alarm and a 12-hour shift will be quite the CHANGE as well!

Good night.

Home

(Totally cheesy picture, especially since there is never room for my feet on the table...ha!)

How sweet it is. There's no place like it.
Home.

I had such a fun time on vacation (minus the runny/stuffy nose, nagging/hacking cough, and occasional sore throat), however, I'm super excited to sleep in my own bed tonight!

My first flight wasn't a whole lot of fun because the two people next to me talked the whole time (they knew each other). I'm not sure why it bothered me so much because people talk, that's what they do. However, for some reason the woman talking distracted me so much that I couldn't even focus on my reading. So, I quit reading, listened to my iPod and closed my eyes/slept. My second flight was nice and quiet :)

It was rainy and chilly when I got home. I had "big plans" of being productive when I got home and did do a little bit of laundry, but that's about it (oh, and catching up on some of the shows I have on DVR...ha!) I have in my mind some things that need to change/I need to do, but since I didn't start today like I planned, I want to write about it once I am "successful" (some of my "ideas of the day" have not turned into anything BUT that...and idea of the day!) :)

I have my last work class tomorrow. I was supposed to finish reading "the" book. I read parts of two other books instead. I guess I'll be reading in the morning...I need to at least read some of it (the other two books are MUCH better...)

Well, I think I have let my nose run long enough after my sinus rinse that I'm not going to be up half the night coughing like I was the other night. So, time to sleep.

Good night from home.

Tennessee Day Four

I slept absolutely terrible last night because of my nasty cough. It was SO annoying that I couldn't fall asleep and then I had a hard time staying asleep. I know I am lucky that I "never" get sick, but since I "never" do, I forgot how "un-fun" it is! I'm definitely ready to feel better (one of the only good things about being miles away from Ginger's new baby is that it would be absolute torture to be so close to that tiny beauty and not be able to get anywhere near her! If I'm not better in a month when I go see her...well, I'm not going to "go there" because I best be better in a couple days, not weeks! Ginger did post some pictures of Baby Cate on her blog...she is precious.

Okay, back to Day Four...it was hard to get up since I slept like crap, but I did it and rested in the car on our way to the Nashville Cathedral for Mass. It is really pretty :)

After Mass, we went to the Parthenon and walked around there for a little while. We didn't go inside since it costs money and I've been there, but it is neat.

We at lunch at Jack's Bar-B-Que before walking around downtown. Apparently, there is live music "everywhere" and sometimes "famous" people will pop in to sing a song or two (probably not on a Sunday afternoon, but we definitely had our listening ears on!)

Well, that's a pretty "picture heavy" post from someone with a point-and-shoot and no Photoshop, but that pretty much was my day in Nashville through my eyes :) (well, that and lots of tissues, cough drops, and water...oh, and an ice cream too!)

I need to get up in time to see my aunt and cousin before they leave at 7:30, so I should head to bed. (PLEASE let me have a better night sleep!) Back home tomorrow...

Tennessee Day Three

I have to type fast because I pretty much squelched the idea of going to Mass at 8:30 even though it's just down the road. I've been used to sleeping a lot (I think I've only worked two shifts in the past three weeks or something equally as crazy), plus this cold is wearing me out. I started having this nasty sore throat producing cough and had a hard time falling asleep last night. Where my aunt and uncle live is in CST, but very close to EST so it gets dark really early but also gets light REALLY early. I decided to try both mucinex and sinus rinses (which, for the record, are absolutely awful and now I understand completely why the children hate it so much...I'm told it works though). I've also taken ibuprofen and dayquil...anything to allow me to enjoy myself. Unfortunately, we are going to these amazing restaurants and the food isn't nearly as amazing as it should be since I can't smell or taste normally...but it is what it is.

Speaking of amazing restaurants, we went to one this evening and Naomi Judd was there. I didn't see her, but my cousin's boyfriend did, even though she and her friends were waiting for a table at the same time as us. We were sitting near the door to the place where they were taken (I think they had a "special" room or something...maybe!) So, we just watched. My aunt and uncle's friends came for the Confirmation and the woman was super excited to see a "star" (I hear ya...I don't have time to link to my many "stalker" posts, but they are there...I'm a stalker...ha!) We spotted her friend leave for a ladies room and a short time later, she and another friend went. So, my aunt's friend and I just followed them to the ladies' room (I know, I know...ha!) Neither of us used the same stall as her, but I mumbled something about hacking out my lungs while she was washing her hands and used the other sink. They had to walk by our table, so my aunt acted like she was taking a picture of my cousins, but totally took a picture of her...and it was super obvious...poor woman! I was hoping for a "star spotting" and I guess I got one (would have rather run into one of the Bloom book gals, but beggars can't be choosers, right?!)

Me and my cousins :)

My aunt and me :)

At the Confirmation

My cousin gave me a REALLY pretty necklace and I'm excited to start wearing it (the price tag was still on and even though they got it at Kohl's so I'm sure it was on sale, it still shows that it is a NICE necklace!)

She also picked out a really sweet card for me. I think I will end this post by typing it out. I'm actually surprised I didn't cry when I read it!

For Wonderful You

Warm words of gratitude with a poem by Emily Matthews

There are wonderful people who give from their hearts in thoughtful and unselfish ways.

So willing to share, help out, or be there, no matter how busy their days.

There are people we count on, whose wisdom and caring help everything work out just right--Wonderful people who shine in our lives with their gentle and beautiful light.

If only you could hear the prayers that fill each thought of you and the smiles that warm each memory of the generous things you do, you'd know you're treasured more than words can say.

Thank you so much.

SO sweet! She said there were so many good cards, but she signed it "The card says it all!" Very thoughtful!

Alright, time for bed. Tomorrow we are planning to wander around Nashville. There were thunderstorms today, so hopefully it is nice tomorrow!

Tennessee Day Two

AKA Baby Cate's birthday! I got a couple pictures texted to me and she is tiny and precious. I seriously almost kissed my phone, but I'm not sure it's all that clean...ha! I'm sure at some point there will be pictures on Ginger's blog, so if you want to see her, keep checking there!

I spent most of the day wandering around a mall while my aunt was at work. I brought my netbook thinking I could check twitter/facebook/blogs from there in between reading and wandering. But, the mall didn't have free wireless ANYWHERE, so I pretty much just carried my netbook everywhere (good thing it is small!) Even though I've had my cell phone less than two years, I didn't use the internet on it when I bought it, so that wasn't important to me. It wouldn't let me log into twitter and facebook doesn't work well at all, and responding to emails is awkward too. (I was showing pictures of Cate on my phone to people at dinner and everyone was trying to make my phone a touch screen...nope, it doesn't do that!)

Anyway, I did get three chapters of the Bloom book read before I saw the email that the discussion will be chapter by chapter. I think that's good because I probably should re-read the chapters more slowly (I think Angie and Jessica mentioned on the blog that there is a LOT of stuff in these chapters!) After my aunt picked me up, we went to a bookstore and she bought the previous Bloom book at my recommendation and I started reading Angie's book. I kind of wish I would have been reading that book instead of the Bloom one while I was at the mall because I was kind of distracted people watching and it may have been easier to get into that one. But, it was neat reading it this particular book store because I think it is fairly close to where they live. Well, at least in the general vicinity because my aunt works in the town where Angie said they lived when I talked to her back in October. I didn't have any "star sightings" today (you know, Music City :) ), but did keep my eyes open for them (which meant I didn't write any letters, do any continuing education modules, or get much reading done!) I did go to a store and got my make-up done which was fun. I hope they work on commission because the first three people kind of acted like they wanted to help me and I ended up buying over $60 of stuff from the fourth one.

After our book store stop, my aunt and I met up with my uncle and people from his work. While we were in Vegas celebrating my 30th birthday, my uncle's boss passed away suddenly while on a business trip with his wife (his wife found him dead in their hotel room). So, either yesterday or today was the 6-month anniversary of his death and they wanted to get together with his wife. They had quite the turn-out and the room wasn't quite big enough to accommodate all of us. Usually I'm pretty comfortable in situations like that with people I don't know that well, but I didn't feel it as much today...probably due to being sick or tired from wandering all day. It was still fun, but I wasn't my social self, that's for sure.

Well, it's getting late and we are leaving for Confirmation at 11. I have found that when I really want to "get ready", it takes me a while, so I'd better go to sleep. Maybe I'll have time to get on facebook (and respond to emails!) tomorrow, but it sounds like it will be a busy day.
Good night!

Tennessee Day One

My dad picked me up a little after 5:30 this morning (REALLY short night...I was still awake at midnight!) My airport is small and it was the first flight out, but we did cut it a little close as evidenced by the "late check in" tag on my luggage (and the fact that I got through security just in time step into the boarding line...) Oops! I didn't have to change planes, which was really nice and I managed to rest some on the plane.

My aunt picked me up and we got Starbucks before picking up my cousin for lunch (not much time between breakfast and lunch, but I'm on vacation...ha!) He showed us around campus (he's a freshman this year...crazy since he turned EIGHT my freshman year of college!) We took a couple pictures, mostly on my aunt's camera. This one is kind of far away, but that's probably okay because up closer you could see my tired eyes, raw nose, and red cheeks...ha! I'm feeling better today, but my throat is still sore (especially since now I've been coughing) and my nose is very drippy...no fever that I know of though :)

After lunch, we came back to my aunt and uncle's and I took a nap. My aunt, my OTHER (the girl :)) cousin, and I went to a Penance Service/Reconciliation at their church before going to Cracker Barrel for dinner (yum!)

It's not that late, but I'm tired, so think I will head to bed. Tomorrow, my aunt is going to bring me to a shopping center area while she is at work and then pick me up for dinner. That will be fun. I'm planning to bring my netbook and a couple books to read (namely, the Bloom Book and Angie Smith's book :) ) along with my credit card and have a fun day.

Ginger had her amnio today and Cate's lungs look good, so she is scheduled to come tomorrow afternoon. Continued prayers for the health of both of them (a c-section IS surgery!) and for the rest of the family. Love you Ging...{hugs}

Night.

Vacation Time!

I went to the doctor since I am leaving town in the morning. She said it is a cold, so I did a LOT of sleeping and water drinking :) My throat already feels better and I think I can deal with the runny nose!

I talked to my aunt this afternoon about some of our plans for this weekend. I'm not someone who needs to be entertained and enjoy "down time". However, I'm excited that the plan is to spend Sunday walking around Nashville. I have been to visit them a number of times, but it's been a while since we spent time IN the city. I found out that my cousin's Godparents will be in town as well, so that will be fun. It sounds like we will be going to some nice restaurants and of course going to church a couple times :)

I did get a call about a couple foster kids today, siblings. I let the caseworker know that I will be out of town for a couple days. The kids may not need immediate placement, so she may end up calling me again. I only have one bed, so need to figure out what to do if I get a sibling placement (or if maybe I SHOULDN'T take a sibling placement since I only have one bed...)

Well, I'd better pack so I can go to bed. My dad is picking me up at 5:30!
Good night.

Drink More Water Part Two

So, even though I went back to sleep until like 10:30, I still didn't feel that great when I woke up. I did manage to mow the lawn before my class. My thighs were understandably sore, but my throat wasn't any better even after the additional water drinking I did in the middle of the night and throughout the day. I dragged along during my class drinking water, trying to make my sore throat go away (I don't think I let on how cr@ppy I felt which is good I guess). By the time I got home, I had a headache so took a little nap. For some reason, I decided to check my temperature (even though I couldn't even begin to guess the last time I had a fever...I've been working at my current job for just over 6 1/2 years and have never called in sick for illness [once I called in for a mental health day]) My thermometer surprisingly read 99.2. Since I never take my temperature, I don't know if I run cold or hot or how accurate my thermometer is, but I knew I had a decision to make about work tomorrow. I called the charge nurse to see how many nurses were working tomorrow to make sure I wouldn't make them short-staffed. She didn't know, so I had to call back. My sister made a good point that I don't want to get anyone else sick (I REALLY hope my nephew doesn't get sick, because even though this video doesn't show that, I shared my water bottle with him...he has had a runny nose for a while, so maybe he gave me a cold...) Also, I am leaving for vacation the day after tomorrow, so having a day of rest (and likely a trip to my doctor) is probably the best idea. Instead of waiting to see how I feel in the morning (I after I got a reading of 99.4), I decided to go ahead and call in sick for the morning. I watched the Biggest Loser, and after throwing in a load of laundry, I'm going to head to bed. I know I'm not REALLY sick, and even though it's been a LONG time since I WAS sick, it's still not fun.

Good night. (Praying for no crazy dreams.)

Drink More Water

So, I just woke up from a very bad dream. My throat hurts and my thighs are sore. I decided to write this down so maybe I will remember to drink more water. Weird dreams like mom asking dad to move out and the next day bringing her "boyfriend" to the church festival, getting pictures with him and introducing him to all the people we've known for over 25 years=nightmare that probably could have been avoided if I was not dehydrated. (My sister also had the second lead in a musical and no one invited the family to go watch her and my nephew was in school but just about the same size he is now, so it was odd all around...) I did so much crying in my dream (and F-bomb dropping) that it woke me up. I took out the trash, am having a couple of glasses of water and heading back to bed for hopefully a couple more hours of (restful) sleep.

Note to self: Drink More Water.
Thank you,

A Little ADD

I have one chapter left to read of my "How to Win Friends..." book before tomorrow and I just can't stay focused (and am falling asleep, but decided to "blog"...hence the title of this post!)

This morning, I was going to go to Curves since I haven't been in a while. But, I dilly dallied around for too long and it was too late to go this morning. It looked like a nice day and for some reason I had this overwhelming desire to go running. So, I drove to "my spot" on the trail and set out for a run (aka "jog" since I seriously run like 11 or 12 minute miles!) I didn't really drink anything at work yesterday, so was pretty dehydrated to begin the run which probably wasn't the smartest idea, but the truth. Anyway, I walked for about 5 minutes and then started my "run". I ended up running for a little over 1.5 miles (I believe it was 1.6 according to the mile markers, but I couldn't remember exactly where I started running). I probably could have done more if I wasn't so thirsty and if I had had a proper place to put my car key. But, that was probably a good distance anyway considering I've been couch potato-ish for a while and jumping right into running probably isn't the greatest on the body (I did stretch though).

After my run, I went and got a pedicure (well, after I showered after my run...ha!) Then, I negated every calorie I burned and then some by stopping at a sandwich place for a chicken philly with bacon and ranch with fries and ranch dressing and then stopping by D Q for a mint oreo blizzard...yeah, you won't get any advice on health from THIS nurse...ha!

I brought my sister a blizzard since they were buy one get one for a quarter (and because she was going to cut my hair). I think she gave me a super cute hair cut and if I was good at self-portraits AND if I had put on make-up, I would post a pic of it, but neither of them is true...but, tomorrow before my class I may try the self-portrait deal since I WILL wear some make-up :)

My nephew cracks me up and I took a little video on my camera. I don't think I've posted video here before, so am not sure if it will work, so there are pictures just in case (it's a SUPER short video, but if it works, maybe I will take more video because I was able to post it on fb :) Okay, I'd better finish reading and head to bed. I have a sore throat for some reason and it's really annoying...hoping it's just because I breathed weird when I was running and need to drink more water.

Prayer request for my friend Ginger. The plan is for Baby Cate to come later this week, but she needs prayers that her lungs are ready. Ginger's been in a lot of pain with contractions, but labor is not progressing. So, prayers for pain relief and happy lungs...Love you friend :o)

Listen and Watch

I had a really great weekend at work. I worked with some of my favorite people and we had a fun time. My student is fabulous and took our entire patient assignment today. There was a lot of "grumbling" about the class a bunch of us are taking (as in, the "consensus" is that it is terrible...I'm not quite THERE, but I'm always interested in learning and trying new things, so I guess it makes sense that I don't "hate" it!) Anyway, I am sleepy and also want to watch the Celebrity Apprentice, so this will be a brief blog post ;o)

This song has been stuck in my head and I put it on my iPod and have listened to it a bunch of times. I'm not sure if it is the beat/music or the lyrics, but I just really like it. So, I wanted to "share" it (and have it here for me for the future, since this is my journal and all...) The first "link" will play the video, but it doesn't have the lyrics. The second one won't play automatically, but there is a link to the music WITH the lyrics.






As I have mentioned, April is National Donate Life Month. Without going into any details, I "found" this video and thought it was terrific. The person who made the video did an amazing job of capturing organ donation and its ups and downs, the good and the bad. The post-transplant road is often as bumpy as the emotional ride of waiting for "the call" that may or may not come...if you are going to watch, grab a tissue...or two.



Good night.

Good Times

I can't believe that I haven't worked since SUNDAY, but it's back to reality when I have to go back tomorrow and Sunday. Well, not EXACTLY back to reality because I just have to work those two days and then on Wednesday and then I go to Tennessee for five days! I've had a fantastic week off (and actually did quite a bit of "blogging" this week--Tuesday, Wednesday, AND yesterday!)

This morning, I had breakfast with my "put things into perspective" friend. I'm sure I've written about her before, since we have been friends for a LONG time! I baby-sat her kids and now they are a Freshman in college and a Freshman in high school! I tell her that "everyone needs a 'Stephanie'" which she thinks is sweet...and she says she loves spending time with me too, which is also sweet :o)

As expected, we had a great time at breakfast. I did a lot of talking at first, but then utilized the conversation skills we learned in class this week (okay, that was "tongue in cheek"' because I'm fairly certain that I already know how to have a conversation with her!) We hadn't gotten together in a while, so it was really nice to catch up (this picture is from September when she came to my dad's birthday party)

I actually took a nap this afternoon, even though I didn't stay up THAT late and didn't get up THAT early. Hopefully that "extra" sleep will make it easier to get up in the morning...highly unlikely, but worth a shot, right?!

After my nap, I walked to the post office and stopped by the grocery store for a few things. I got a Java Chip Frappuccino from Starbucks since I had a gift card and it was yummy.

I was invited to the 50th birthday party for a "guy" who used to live next door to my parents. It was nice to get my own invitation (gotta love "evite") and that I was off so I could go. I actually wore a cute new shirt and nice jeans, did my hair and make-up (as my "skill" for that allows), and thought I looked pretty darn good (if I do say so myself...ha!) I went alone, but knew that I would know quite a few people (including my friend from this morning and my parents who were going to go for a little while). I did a LOT of talking during the nearly 2 1/2 hours I was there to quite a few different people. I ended up talking to one of the pediatricians who works at the office where I worked for a couple of years. For some reason, I hadn't thought about that in a while (not that I "forgot", but it wasn't something that had crossed my mind recently!) Although I got the job there because of one of the other pediatricians, and she is a friend, this one is a lot more like me and I had a GREAT time whenever I worked with her. When I worked at the office, I was a "floater", so worked with all of the doctors in the office. I was working there through some pretty tough times at the hospital and this one cried with me/listened to me during those times. It was SO great to see her since it had been quite a long time (years probably!) since we had talked. I met her husband, talked about her kids (maybe I'll have some stories to share at my next "training" on Tuesday...ha!) Before I left, she shared that she had said to her husband "isn't she adorable?!" in reference to me...and apparently he agreed, which, I guess, is "adorable"...ha ha! (I guess she and the other pediatrician are "plotting" to find me a nice guy...yeah, them and "everyone" else...oh well, it is what it is..."trust", right?!)

Okey doke, I'd better try and get some sleep. I'm kind of "wired", even though I only had two drinks, plus I took a nap I probably didn't need!

Good night.

An Open Book...or Not

This morning, I had my home study. The case worker got here at 10 and left nearly three hours later. She would ask a question and I would just talk and talk. I told her all SORTS of things, even things not many people know. It was pretty crazy how things just came spilling out of my mouth. I mean, I know I'm a Chatty Cathy (that post was written about the first time I met the "baby" and his mom, so it's appropriate timing to link to that!) but seriously, I was an open book. I even started crying about certain things I shared. I'm fairly certain she wasn't expecting my "life story" (I just MET with my counselor last week...sheesh!), but she said it helped to know about me for future reference when I get a placement.

This afternoon, I met with my Spiritual Director (I had to take a little rest in between my two "therapy" sessions...with my actual "therapy" session last week and breakfast with my "put things into perspective friend" in the morning, I should be emotionally stable for a while...ha!) Again, I just started right in talking and sharing. This was more faith/prayer based, but I had also done a lot of sharing about how important it has become for me to trust God and His plan for me and my life. I talked to her about how "holy" my Holy Week/Easter was (and that it was even more special because I "brought" Gitz with me in my heart since she is unable to attend services...or anything outside the home for that matter). I shared that I will be traveling to Tennessee next week to be my cousin's Confirmation sponsor. An hour went by SO fast...as it always does when I am with her or with my counselor (I love that they have very different personalities...AND that they both enjoy listening to my rambling...ha!)

I mentioned in my post on Tuesday that I could go to a party and find someone to talk to...and obviously have no problems talking and talking to anyone who is available to listen...ha! Why, then, does this "Dale Carnegie" thing with my colleagues freak me out so much?! Why is it that someone I have talked to quite a few times at work was SO surprised by character traits (one being that I am a "risk taker") that she pointed it out? Why is it that I feel like the people at work don't REALLY know me...and, is that good, bad, or "neutral"? Why, then, am I completely freaked out by the email I got from the instructor about preparing for our next class--here's what she wrote:

• We set goals on page 1.10, using the first nine principles (I included these in the post from Tuesday). Please be prepared to share an experience that illustrates your recent (since last session) application of one of the Enhance Relationships Principles from that commitment. (ugh!) Use the Magic Formula for Influencing Action to structure the report: incident, action, benefit. These are simply your chance to report to us what has happened since you’ve made a change as you strive to enhance relationships with patients, their families, and co-workers. This incident should be work related.
• Have a conversation with someone you don't know well, and someone you do know pretty well, using the ideas from the conversation starters we learned in picture format. Be ready to share some successes with the group.
• Begin reading in the "How to Win Friends" book. The first nine chapters would be minimum...

I discussed my "anxiety" about this with my spiritual director (since she is familiar with this training and the book). Together we prayed, and I will continue to pray, about this training and all that it involves. I guess everyone is in the same boat as me in terms of having to share and step outside their comfort zone (I imagine some even more than me if they aren't naturally a "chatty" person!) I suppose I better get to reading and preparing :o)

By the way, I am actually rather sore from carrying my 19+ pound nephew around the zoo yesterday, but I wouldn't change a thing--"he ain't heavy, he's my nephew... :o) "

Good night.
P.S. Ginger texted me today to say that the newest addition to their family will be here April 23 if not before!! Can't wait to meet Little Miss Cate :o)