I'm Home

Yes, I'm home. It was a FANTASTIC weekend! I knew it would be fun, but I don't think you can REALLY prepare for something like that! I want to write ALL about it, but unfortunately, my computer was taking forever to upload pictures and annoying the heck out of me. So, now I am tired and definitely don't want to rush through this post.

Here is a photo teaser...definitely thought about you, Nikki ,when I "posed" for this photo. (Yes, I know it isn't a very good "pose", but the other picture I took was an even worse attempt!)

Those are Ginger's new orange and white crocs down there...she was in the midst of her own "I Love You" pose. Tomorrow is her birthday, so if you feel so inclined, I'm sure she would be okay with some extra love on her special day...I don't think I know anyone who would turn down "Happy Birthday" greetings!

Good night.

What Is a Friend?

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have,
and one of the best things you can be.
A friend is the one who will always be beside you,
through all the laughter, and through each and every tear.
A friend is the one thing you can always rely on;
the someone you can always open up to.
A friend is a sanctuary.
A friend is a smile.
A friend is a hand that is always holding yours,
no matter where you are.
A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.
~Collin McCarty

I have been thinking a lot about friends recently, and have been waiting for just the right moment to post this poem. I have decided to leave my lap top at home for this vacation, and am planning to set this entry to post right around the time I meet up with Ginger and Lauren.

Friends have kind of been a funny thing in my life. In elementary school, I went through a couple "best friends", but mostly I was friends with everyone (which, unfortunately, did not really translate to getting invited to the "cool parties") In high school, I was fortunate to have a couple "best friends" with whom I remain very close. (Remember, our very own "fifteen feet of fun"?!) But again, friends with everyone was kind of "my thing" and that pretty much continued through college. I am still friends with one member of "AMEALAKA" :o)

I had coffee today with a friend I have known since I baby-sat her kids who are now 14 and 18. She and I talked for over three hours and it was AWESOME! And, in total "un-randomness", I stopped by Target on the way home to pick up a couple things and ran into my friend (totally unflattering picture of us here) who was in town from a state away as her son is evaluated for a second transplant. They actually were stopping by Target on their way out of town, so it was GREAT to get to see her! Of course, I have my friend that I met on the beach when we were ten. There are friends I have met through work, through church, through school, and yes through this here blog (I was going to link to that, but you are already here!)

I have friends from coast to coast, from north to south, from small towns to big cities. I have friends with families, and friends who are single or do not yet have children. I have a few friends who have had the basically "drama-free" life that I have been privileged to experience, and many who have endured the darkest times I hardly knew existed.

There are friends who came to me in ways I never could have imagined, and those who arrived when I needed them the most. Friends who make me laugh. Friends who put life in perspective. Friends who encourage. Friends who have so much faith in God even when life has given them so many reasons to stop trusting Him. Friends who let me be who I am and are okay with that. Friends who listen. Friends who always have words of wisdom. Friends of all shapes and sizes, from all economical, family, and religious backgrounds. Friends of all different ages. (For living a pretty "sheltered" life, I do have a rather diverse group of friends and I LOVE that!)

I have lived alone long enough and gone places alone more times than I can count. However, to say that I do not have jitters going into this weekend would be a lie (and, if you have read this blog long enough, you know that I not only have troubles keeping secrets, lying is definitely not something I even attempt because it would not be successful!) I don't remember my first day of kindergarten, but I imagine this is what it may have felt like. I am SO excited and know that there will be open arms and great people waiting for me in that airport, but my hands still shake as I think about this "plan" becoming a reality in a few short hours (probably should start packing since my ride is coming in six hours!)

I will close this post on friendship with the lyrics to a song I absolutely adore. I have listened to it SO many times and it still brings tears to my eyes (not ALL the time now, but SOMETIMES!) It is from the musical Wicked.

(Elphaba):
I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you...

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you...

(Both):
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Thank you for being my friend. I know that because of you, I have been changed for good...and am looking foward to MUCH more of that when I return from my vacation (one of these days I WILL have to return to work...ha ha!)

Not My Expertise

Well, I spent a good part of the day cleaning/organizing/throwing things away so my house looks nice when I get back from my NEXT vacation. Well, none of those things are really my expertise, especially the organizing and throwing things away part! I am definitely a pack rat and used to sleep in a tiny spot surrounded by all sorts of cr** in high school (I actually slept with my "boom box" on there for quite a while until one day I realized that could be a fire hazard...) I am, however, proud to say that my house is nearly "company ready" with only one room that would require a (please) "do not enter" sign :o) and just a TINY bit of clutter scattered about (I am planning to work on that "tiny" bit of clutter before I actually DO get company tomorrow!)

Since my bedroom was looking about as good as it gets, I decided to go ahead and post photos. Yes, I realized after I took the photos that my sheets were not tucked in, but I left it "as is" because, well, that's "me". I painted that one wall "Beach Ball Yellow" when I moved in and it is supposed to be my "happy wall". My bed originally was turned to face that direction. The room definitely needs a makeover, and I rearranged some of the pictures so the wall above my bed has all sorts of marks and the pictures probably aren't where they should be to look nice. Not exactly Kelly's "Show Us Where You Live Friday" (Hey Kristy, tomorrow she is highlighting/touring nurseries...you should "Mr. Linky" your little girl's room!) It definitely could use a "makeover", but so does pretty much every room in my house...plus, I need a new shed, my huge trees need to be trimmed, and I have rotten railroad ties in the backyard...and I have CARPET in the kitchen...so, the bedroom makeover may have to wait a little while!

Even though I did survive participating in "Show Us Where You Live Friday" with this post, I'm thinking I may sit out for a while (it didn't take very long for my "visitor count" to go back to normal, but it was pretty crazy there for a little while!) So, this "show me where you sleep" post is for my "regular readers" only :o) Now, if only I could KEEP it looking this nice (or, maybe even see how much nicer I could make it look!)






Well, I have a busy day tomorrow...need to go work out before meeting my friend for coffee at 10. My lawn will need to be mowed (unless it rains...) Maybe going to work for a 1:00 shower/going away party. Family coming over at 2:30 before dinner and a musical. Fitting in packing in between things...getting picked up for the airport at 5:20 on Friday morning--that is EARLY!

Good night!

Can't Pass Up a Contest

So...Nikki is hosting a contest for her 500th post which is coming up. She's got some pretty awesome prizes including five things from her shop, a $20 gift card, and a DVD--awesome, right?!

The rules are simple.

Good luck!

May Vacation Number One

So, I was going to try and make a slide show of vacation pictures LAST night. However, I was having major technical difficulties and my computer took FOREVER to get the pictures from my memory card onto my computer. Seriously, I think it took like an hour and by that point, I was SO frustrated that I didn't even want to try to put together a slide show.

It was a really fun time, and I am glad it worked for me to be able to go. These relatives--my aunt, uncle, cousins, and my uncle's parents--were my family when I was away at college. I went to school hundreds of miles away from home, so was unable to come home for all school breaks. I spent Labor Days, fall breaks, my birthdays, Thanksgiving, spring breaks, Easters, etc. with them. I watched my little cousins get taller than me (at barely 5 feet, they were not very old when they reached THAT milestone!) and now I got to see my cousin graduate from high school (and ride with my other cousin behind the wheel!)

All of these pictures are "unedited", so you will have to wait for the really good pictures after my NEXT May vacation :o) My dad was so excited to meet his favorite jockey and get his autograph, and I am glad I had my camera in my hand at the time! I think if I can get someone to turn it into a nice 5 x 7 photograph (hint, hint!), it would be a GREAT Father's Day gift :o)

Anyway, I managed to be very unproductive today...shocking, I know! I did go to Curves for the first time in 20 days (no wonder the number on the scale keeps going up!) Then, I went with my mom to get a pedicure (very nice!) I stopped by work to get my schedule and fill in the schedule for the next month since I don't ACTUALLY work again until late next week! Kind of crazy to go to work on my day off, but the meeting I lead is also next week and I had stuff I needed to print off for that too.

I leave for my next vacation in less than 60 hours...crazy! I am really excited though (and even have quite a fun things planned BETWEEN now and then!)

Good night.

Heading Home

Well, my flight back home leaves in ten hours. It has been a fun-filled five days with my fabulous family :o) We came, we saw, we visited. We laughed (and, I cried, but not about anything here...) He graduated, we partied. I don't think I slept past 8:30 ANY of the days which is kind of a crazy vacation for me, but I definitely made up for the "early rising" with a couple naps :o)

I didn't take as many pictures as I usually do, but there were lots of cameras going. I may still be able to make some sort of slide show once I get home (AFTER I do some sort of exercising...I am not sure how I am going to start to work off all the food I ate!) If it is raining or something when I get home, maybe I'll even do a sort of then and now slide show since I think the last graduation party all of us were at was my college graduation seven years ago :o)

Good night from here...back to "there" tomorrow :o)

Oh to be Eighteen

I have made no secret of the fact that I really enjoyed high school (seeing as I am the current president of the alum council, that is a good thing!). Of course, I also had a good time in college and really have no complaints about my life now...but, back to high school...

So, the MAIN reason for this little vacation is because my "little" cousin is graduating from high school. As you can see from this picture taken in November, he is not so little any more.

Yesterday, I heard talks of my mom and aunt going to help with his senior breakfast this morning. I stayed up kind of late and was thinking about just sleeping in (since, this IS vacation!) My aunt came in around 7:00 this morning to see if I was going to come. I politely declined and said I kind of wanted to sleep. My mom came in around 20 minutes later and took a different approach by saying "Will you come help with the senior breakfast?" Again, I kindly declined and said I needed to sleep... After I rolled back over, my thoughts sort of turned to my post last night about making memories, treasuring special moments, not taking anything for granted, etc....ugh, I guess that means I need to get up and go! And so I went...

And, of course my mom was right. I love talking to people and the three of us ended up at different tables to help serve. One of the moms in my group was a nurse. Another had a son who went through cancer treatment for a brain tumor when he was really little and had great things to say about nurses. The parents who were right next to me have a daughter who wants to be a pediatric nurse...seriously, I am not making this up! My mom met some interesting people at her table, and my aunt got to serve with one of her friends. It was really fun and the kids were very polite as they went through the line. So, I am definitely glad I went (and, I think my cousin was "secretly" glad we were there too).

I did a few things to help with the party plans, but not TOO much. I stayed at home while my parents and aunt went to the store to buy stuff. I'm not exactly sure WHY I didn't go, but I was here when my cousin got home from graduation practice...

I think I was messing around on the computer when he got home (hmm, sound familiar?!). He said to me, "Too bad you are busy or you could come with me and my friends to lunch." I said, well, I'm definitely not busy, let me get my stuff and I'll be ready! I thought it was SO sweet that he invited me to go out with him and his friends! I wish I had a picture of myself when I graduated from high school, but I do not. There is one in the slide show I made for my birthday if anyone is interested :o) In any case, I do not look THAT much older now than I did then, and definitely blended in with them. In fact, you should have SEEN the look on one of his friend's faces when I mentioned that I was almost thirty...SO funny! They definitely were comfortable around me just visiting like normal I think. Just having a fun time enjoying each other's company. It was really nice to see that my cousin has such good friends. (I really wish I had gotten a picture of the nine of us at lunch...that would have been a REALLY fun picture and not many would guess that I was eleven years older than the rest of them...ha!)

He and I talked about that on the drive home...about having good friends. It really does make this life a whole lot easier when you have friends you can count on to be there in the good times and the not so good. I have amazing friends who just happened to be scattered all around the country. I am still friends with some girls from high school. I really need to write letters, email, and/or call some of my other friends that I feel I have been "neglecting"... But, that's the thing with having friends who have been around for so long...you can pick things up again after a period of time and it's almost as if no time has passed at all.

Since I'm in Tennessee, I will say thanks y'all for being some of my great friends :o) You may not have known me when I was eighteen, but I still kind of look the same (and maybe kind of act the same...maybe!) ;o)

Well, I have no idea what's on the agenda for tomorrow or how early I am expected to get up, so I'd better go to bed soon. I think the funeral for Ginger's step-mom is tomorrow, so please continue to keep her and her family in your prayers.

Good night.

In An Instant

So, I was about to start typing this "serious" post and realized that in my last post, I typed pretty much the same sentence twice in consecutive paragraphs...now THAT'S some stellar editing!
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Once again, I am reminded that life can change in an instant. You would think that with the things I have seen, heard, and read, that should not come as a surprise any more, but it still does.

Ginger and her family had to say good-bye to her step-mom yesterday. I do not know the whole story, nor is it really MY story to tell, but I do know that she was fine earlier this week and now she is in Heaven. In an instant, their lives are forever changed...

A few weeks ago, there was a tragic story on the local news. A mom driving her three little kids was hit when someone ran a red light. One of the kids did not survive the accident. In an instant, lives changed forever... (Unfortunately, even more tragic is that the red-light runner was not an upstanding citizen, so the media stories were more about that than reminding people to slow down and pay attention. There was much more finger-pointing than making people realize that something like that could happen to them...either a distracted driver in a hurry making a terrible mistake or the family who mourns a loss that should not have happened.)

A routine ultrasound that shows a sick baby. A child brought to the ER with pneumonia ends up with open heart surgery. A cancer diagnosis. A tragic accident. An unexpected layoff. A home destroyed by fire or a natural disaster...

There are so many things that can happen "in an instant" that have everlasting effects. I suppose this is as good of an instant as any to remember not to take any moment for granted. Life is precious and should be filled with creating special memories with those you love.
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I found this story recently, but cannot remember where. It may not EXACTLY fit with this post, but this is as good of a time as any to share it.

The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend had passed, gone forever.

Then, one day, the little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he had passed. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!
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I had a great time spending time with my family today! I have been taking some pictures, but am not sure when I will end up posting them...maybe I will make a slide show when I get home so they are all in one place...

Well, I had better head to bed. I have no idea what "the plan" is for tomorrow (although I'm not thinking I will make it to help with my cousin's Senior Brunch at 9:00 since that is eight hours away and I'd really like to sleep at LEAST that long, especially since I AM on vacation!)

Good night.

Friends in Need

I made it to my aunt and uncles with my parents and am looking forward to a few days without many plans. Not only do I get to sleep in their computer room, but they also have wireless...awesome!

I am looking forward to a few days with not that many plans. Tomorrow, my uncle, dad, and I are "road tripping" it to Louisville to see some horse races. That will be a lot of fun! The sun is shining here and it feels great outside. I'm thinking I may suggest an after dinner walk!

I have found that I have a hard time with vacations. I cannot just turn off what is happening elsewhere, especially when it comes to my friends. I do not think I could go away and leave my phone and lap top behind, knowing that things could happen while I was away. I know I should be downstairs helping my family make dinner, and I WILL get there eventually, but right now, my heart is heavy and that is when I use this blog the most.

When I turned on my phone after getting off the plane, I had a text message from Ginger asking for prayers. Her step-mother took a bad fall and the outlook did not look good. Ginger and I have become really good friends the past couple months and the tears are stinging my eyes as I type this. While I do not know all the details, I do know that I have witnessed miracles, and I am praying for healing.

Also, my "A-team" girl is pretty sick at a hospital near her home. Her mom is burdened knowing that a transfer back to my hospital is very possible. This means being separated from the rest of her family for who knows how long. As much as I love both of them, I love to love them from hundreds of miles away (and, if they DO have to come back, hopefully it is not while I am gone...I know, that's a little selfish...I REALLY would rather them not come back at all, but if they DO, then I want them to have a friend waiting for them!)

And, I heard that my friend who painted my guest room's son was going to be coming back for a check up in the near future. He will need a second transplant and it sounds like things are moving in that direction sooner rather than later. Transplant is tough the first time around, and even more challenging the second time.

I just checked my sister's friend's baby's web site and it looks like SHE is having a good day, so that is definitely an answer to prayers.

Well, my aunt just got home from work, so I better go say hello...that is, after all, why I am here!
Take care my friends.

Stand Up Double

So...I am almost done packing and probably should head to bed, but I thought I needed to give a little softball game update :o) (We are driving to a city that has a bigger airport and cheaper flights, so I can sleep in the car...nice perk to traveling with the parents!)

Today I had to go to a computer class at work. It was supposed to be a 4-hour class--ugh! But, it only took about 2 1/2 hours which was great! I did a little bit of packing this afternoon and pretty much all I have left is the stuff I will need in the morning (and my computer of course...can't pack THAT away yet!)

We only had 9 players at the 8:30 game time. You need 10 players for slow-pitch softball, otherwise you get an automatic out whenever that "player" comes up to bat. So, we had the mom of one of our players sub for us :o) It was REALLY windy, so the pitchers had trouble. We were SO much better than the team we played, but the three pitchers we used walked TWELVE batters, so it was a MUCH closer game than it should have been!

I play catcher, and twice the ball was hit to the pitcher with the bases loaded and she threw it home to me for an out. I LOVE getting players out at home! My first time up, I hit a little pop fly somewhere near the shortstop for an out...darn (I did hit it hard though...not bad for not working out in a while!) The next time up, I hit it into the outfield between left and left center and got a "stand up double"!! I can't remember the last time I hit a DOUBLE! Usually, I just run really fast to try to beat the throw! I think I may have hit in a run, but am not sure. At that point in the game, it looked like we were going to win by a lot, but the walks definitely did not help. One of my cousins ended up getting a really good hit to drive in the winning run...it was SO much fun to win! (I think we only won three times all last season and this was our third game!)

On the baseball front, neither of our new pitchers pitched today, but my team had a pretty good day. :o)

I'm hoping that my aunt and uncle have wireless internet and/or they give me the computer room to sleep in. I am bringing a couple books and some stationery so I can write some letters. I am looking forward to just hanging out and visiting (and my little side trip to Kentucky with my dad is going to be GREAT!)

Good night.

Catching Up

Well, this may not QUITE be the "Catching Up" post I was thinking about writing nearly two weeks ago, but it will work for today.

Nearly two weeks ago, I met up with some high school friends for "Happy Hour". We had been planning it for a while and I was SO excited! I actually sent my first "facebook event" to "invite" people which was fun. The evening was fun, even though not exactly how I imagined it to be. All four of them are married. Two of them have one child, one has two, and one is pregnant (the one in the middle in case you can't tell...ha!). So, in a sense, I was "odd man out". Somehow, the bulk of our hours together involved talking about pregnancy, kids, or that which you do to get them...yeah, not really any personal experiences there! This gathering was a couple days after the shower but the whole not really being able to participate in the conversation didn't bother me THAT much. Instead, my thoughts turned elsewhere...

During the past eighteen plus months, I have "met" moms who were pregnant with babies who were not expected to live very long. For the past five and half plus years I have met parents who have chronically ill children. I know people who have struggled with infertility. I know people who are not happy with the way their life is. And so, I sat and listened since there wasn't much I could say (no hurt tongue that night...ha!) And I wondered what it would feel like if I was one of those other people. Surely those are the kinds of conversations that take place whenever people who are married, pregnant, and/or have kids get together. I couldn't really participate because I'm not "there" yet (although, thankfully I DO work with children and LOVE that, and I also am okay with listening and learning, and do not need to be the center of attention). But, what if I WAS "there" and things were not as they "should" be? These "natural" conversations must be SO hard and I would hope that friends would be cognizant of the situation and find other things to talk about, but I am guessing that isn't always the case...

While I'm hoping next time we "gossip" about people from high school or talk about shopping or eating, I am glad that some good came out of my "listening". And, hopefully I will remember to find some kind of neutral topic when placed in a group of people. I tend to talk a LOT about my work when I find myself in a place where I don't really know anyone and need to remember that not everyone wants to hear about sick kids...

That same week, I received this in the mail. Isn't it pretty?! I had a hard time taking a picture of it, but it is an angel with a cross, and the word "Believe" is below. The angel is PURPLE and Nikki didn't even know that I really like purple (even though I make all my links purple...ha!) Such a thoughtful gift, and I love it! You can visit her shop if you love it too!
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So, this morning I got a call to see if I wanted to be "on-call" for work. I checked my PTO hours yesterday and only have seven days left (we use PTO for sick time, vacation, and other days off). Today was to be my last day of work this month, and I am using five PTO days for this vacation. However, tomorrow I have a four hour class and a softball game. We are leaving for vacation on Wednesday morning and there were a lot of things I wanted to do before then. Plus, tonight we had another baseball draft for my fantasy baseball team (we have them every three weeks). My partner was a little nervous going without me, even though I had given her our picks (or, the picks my dad and I thought would be good!)...

Well, hopefully I will not be getting sick any time soon because I definitely took the day off! I was "on-call" all day, and think they may have been close to calling me in, but did not end up needing me.

Since I basically had to stay home, I decided to go ahead and do all those things (many of them anyway) that I had been putting off for a LONG time! At this moment, you can actually see my living room floor. You can ALMOST see my kitchen table. I washed all my clothes. My dirty dishes are no longer sitting in the sink (that is SO gross that I have gotten into the habit of doing that!). I filled three bags with clothes for the goodwill. I scrubbed my bathrooms and cleaned the toilets. I mailed some graduation cards.

And...I pulled some flowers and planted some weeds ;o) Not sure what color my thumbs are, but they most certainly are NOT green! I am certain that I pulled green things that were flowers. And, for SURE I left green things that are, in fact, weeds...however, weeds are simply flowers you do not want, right?! I planted some seeds...if anything grows, there will be a "photo shoot" for sure! :o)

So, I feel really good about what I accomplished today. Of course, it wouldn't be such an ordeal if I did little bits every day, but procrastination has been my middle name for a LONG time! I am hoping that I will do better about keeping up with things around the house when I am not here quite as often. I guess I will find out in June when I have play rehearsal. I recieved a copy of the script in the mail today. The director emailed me and said that she will make me an understudy and that she is planning to have an "understudy show". Rehearsals will be nearly every day from 7-10 PM. So, I will go straight from work on those days, and probably end up going straight to bed on nights before I have to work! It will definitely be a change for me, but I'm still looking forward to it.

May has already been a busy and fun month, but the really "fun and exciting" stuff is yet to come! On Wednesday, I am going with my parents to Nashville. My aunt and uncle who live near there were my "second parents" when I was in college (they did not live in Tennessee then). Their oldest son is graduating from high school which seems so crazy (I probably should scan a picture from my freshman year of college to put things into perspective!) Since they are "special family", we decided to make the trip. I don't think I have seen them since Thanksgiving, so it will be great to catch up. My dad and I are planning to take a little "side trip" to the horse races here. I've never been to Kentucky, so I'm looking forward to "coloring in" that State (I used to have a map that I colored in all the states I have seen...it may actually still be at Mom and Dad's!)

We will come back home on Monday, but I do not go back to work until June 3! A bunch of us are going to go see a musical that I've been waiting YEARS to see and I am SO excited about that! Then, it is my "girls' weekend trip" that is just going to be AWESOME! Plus, Kristy's baby girl could end up coming in May which would be an added bonus to an absolutely fabulous month (well, every month has it's little bumps, right?!) Check out her nursery pictures...SO cool (I need Howard to come help at my house...my house is B-O-R-I-N-G!)

Okay...all caught up?! Just in case I don't get a post written tomorrow since I haven't started packing--I am planning to bring my computer with me to my aunt and uncle's house...hopefully they have wifi, otherwise I guess I'll be taking a little walk somewhere to catch up with all of you.

Good night.

Late Night Lattes

So...I may be a college graduate. I may be 29 years old. However, I may not have the best common sense...

On Thursday, I was SO tired after my trip to the Zoo and knew I needed to work up some energy to get the lawn mowed (the grass would have been closer to my knees than my ankles if I had waited much longer!) Thinking I drink so much coffee that I may be immune to the caffeine, I stopped and got a white chocolate mocha after mailing a package. There is a new coffee shop by my house and they were giving away free 12 oz drinks. Even AFTER mowing the lawn and doing a few other things, I could not get myself settled down to go go sleep. It was after 12:30 by the time I went to bed and my alarm was going off at 5:30 for work...ugh! I'm not so fun to be around when I am tired...luckily, Friday ended up being a good day at work and reminding myself that I only had two more days of work this month definitely helped keep the crabbiness from setting in.

Yesterday, I rode with my cousin to another cousin's graduation two hours away. The graduation ceremony lasted 2 1/2 hours. We ate lunch and then I rode the two hours home. Riding in the car makes me VERY sleepy, but I did manage to stay awake for most of the drive. I did a couple things at home before heading to yet another cousin's softball game. The coffee shop was still having their free 12 oz deal, so I stopped there on the way to the 6:30 game. After the game, I went to a party for a couple hours. I left there before 10:30 because I had to work again today. I thought I would be EXHAUSTED by then and head straight to bed! Yet again, the "second wind" (aka caffeine?!) set in and it was after midnight by the time I was able to relax enough to fall asleep (which is SO weird since typically I can sleep any time any where!)

Work was good today. We don't have very many patients right now which is great for the kids and families, but also means we don't need as many nurses working each shift. So, I ended up getting to leave work early today. After dinner, my mom, sister, and I went to visit my sister's friend's baby in the hospital (she is the friend who hosted my sister's baby shower). A little over a week ago, she had emergency heart surgery. Last Monday, she went into cardiac arrest and was on a sort of heart-lung bypass machine for a while. They think she had a seizure a couple days ago. However, she actually looks really good. She is still on a ventilator, but did open her eyes and was awake for a little bit while we were there. She's a fighter that's for sure! She still has a long way to go to heal from this (the cause of everything was an infection that attacked her heart) and will always have the history of having major heart surgery. Her parents are doing okay and are thankful for all who have them and their baby in their hearts and prayers.

Well, even though I did drink an entire pot of coffee at work today...that was long enough ago that I'm going to head to bed early tonight! Too bad my house is a disaster and I'm leaving on vacation in two days. I have no idea what I'm going to pack because none of the capris/shorts I took out from last year look like things I want to wear this year. I'm also not sure what exactly we will be doing on this vacation. We are visiting family for my cousin's graduation, but the graduation is not until Saturday and the party is on Sunday. So, probably a lot of "hanging out" type clothes will be best (and maybe some work out clothes so I can go for walks/?runs...probably would be a good idea!)

Okay, I suppose I should end this before it isn't actually an "early to bed" night!
Have a great week! (My site meter is still going pretty crazy after my guest room picture post...I am thankful that it is making me laugh and not making me ill...just an FYI for all of you that if you want to bring a bunch of people to your blog, it's as easy as participating in a "blog carnival"...one little link and Bam! Instant visitors!)

That is crazy!

So, I posted my last post in Kelly's Show Us Where You Live tour (even though it was definitely a stretch for me!) And, apparently, I was correct in thinking that would bring "extra traffic" to my blog. My trusty little site meter tells me that my average daily visits is 6, yes SIX, that would be less than 10. As of post time, there have been 358 "documented" visits to my blog today...um, yeah, about 60 times the average number.

That, my friends, is CRAZY (and, if I was not recovering from working a 12 1/2 hour shift after sleeping for five hours, I probably would say that thinking about this made me throw up in my mouth a little bit...but, I'm too tired to care too much right now)! Of course, two days from now I will return to having my handful of friends who regularly visit and all will be as I like it. But, I suppose it is fun to feel popular...for one day I'm okay being "popular" in the blogging world...then, I think I'll be ready to go back to being "Just Me".

Well, I'd better get to packing since I need to figure out what I'm going to wear to the graduation tomorrow and drive to my aunt and uncle's house for the night.

Pressing Publish Post

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I rarely leave comments on "popular blogs". I enjoy my little blog that a few (very awesome!) people read. The thought of bringing extra traffic to my blog on purpose is giving me heartburn, but I just had to participate in Kelly's "blog carnival" this week. I have been "stalking" her blog since one (or more) of the other blogs I read stalk posted prayer requests for her baby Harper. The past few weeks, Kelly has been doing "Show Us Where You Live Friday". Now, the only rooms I have looked at are Kelly's (and those of other blogs that have ended up on my Reader), but it seems like a pretty fun thing. The reason I HAD to participate this week is because of the commentary she wrote about this week's room at her house. It cracked me up that she said her guest room is so boring. My "guest room" is the only room in my house that has any form of "decorating" (besides my basement/play room). I'm pretty sure it is also the only room where you can walk without stepping on papers (I know, this is terrible...I only work three more days in May, so MAYBE I should spend some time changing that!) In the grand scheme of things, it is still pretty boring and could definitely use some window coverings and probably some other things that I do not know. (I was just looking at the pictures and realized that I never took a picture of the blank wall that is what you would see if you were in the bed...that room doesn't have a cable hook-up and no television...and nothing is on that wall.)

The light blue is called "Memory Lane" the darker blue "Cameron's Eyes" (I do like picking colors by their names...my basement and upstairs hallway is "Khaki Shorts" and I do have one room in my bedroom that is "Beach Ball Yellow"). The room was painted two summers ago by the mom of one of my patients who became a great friend. I had my dad hang the shelves. He is not really handy, but those shelves come with a built-in level...sweet! I really like the "Believe" above the door. If I wasn't so resistant to change, I would turn this room into my bedroom since they are the same size and there is not a "master bathroom". But, I am not a huge fan of change, and going "outside the box" is pretty tough for me. I can hardly believe I'm actually going to do this, but if you are reading this, then I actually DID press publish post. Enjoy the coolest room in my house :o)

Oh yeah, I forgot I was going to write something about that rocking chair. Yes, I know that it definitely does not match. I do probably need to see about getting a new cushion for it. However, my grandmother gave the the chair with that cushion on it. She said she sat in that chair rocking me when I was a baby (with a different cushion of course...I am sure it got lots of use since I am the first grandchild and all...ha!) And, I'm cracking up that I came back to update this seeing as I know there could be quite a lot of fun in pointing out other things that are "wrong" with my "decorating"...ha!

Not quite yet...

This is me procrastinating for sure...not QUITE ready for my "catching up" post (I still have like 30 posts on my Google Reader to catch up on AND I didn't do any yard or house work today either...ugh!) A lot has happened this past week, but I'm doing alright thanks to my amazing friends and family. I am sure it will help to get it all out...eventually...

In the mean time, I wanted to post something that didn't require too much thought. So, I found some pictures to create a sort of "blast from the past" post...enjoy :o)

The theater director at my high school is putting on a show for alums in June. She was not the director when I attended high school there, but has chosen to do this show. We did that show in 1997 and I was in the cast. Even though my schedule kind of stinks to participate in something like this, I decided to go ahead and audition. She isn't sure what she will be able to do, but I went and found pictures from that show in 1997 (FYI...it kind of is an "80s" show...hence the "crimped" hair...ha!)

Just in case it is hard to see...I am on the right (would that be "stage left"?! I don't remember) with the white head band and plaid dress...

Me with one of my high school "BFF's"...I haven't seen her about 10 years though...hmm, maybe I should try to find her on facebook... I was a Junior in high school...wow!

Okay, don't get excited about this picture of "a boy" here on this blog...ha! I went to elementary school with this "kid". This was his 8th grade picture and I haven't seen or heard about him since then (15 years!) His step-dad (the only dad I remember him having actually) died fairly suddenly on Friday. My mom and I went to the visitation last night. I totally would not have recognized him...fifteen years apparently makes a difference in appearance for some people...

this is my eighth grade picture... I'm pretty sure HE would have recognized ME! He IS single, but...a visitation was not quite an appropriate place to find out anything more than that ;o)

Alright, back to watching the finale of The Biggest Loser...maybe tomorrow I will reflect on my thoughts of the past week...or, maybe the past week will be "forgotten" and I'll have some fun things to write about.

Back to work tomorrow (I'm on an "every other day" schedule this week...)

Cracking me up

So, I do really need to write a post called "Catching Up"...maybe tomorrow (and, I really do need to "catch up"...the number of unread posts in my Google Reader is crazy, plus lots of stuff has happened since my last "real" post). However, I had to write about something that is cracking me up...I am a little addicted to checking out the stats on my "site meter". Mostly I like to know how people ended up on my blog...I try to be so careful about how I write things and kind of use it to make sure I haven't "slipped up". Well, back on this post, I used an image I found on Google of a girl who was sleeping because I was really tired that day. I gave a little "caveat" that if you search for an image on Google using the word "sleeping" immediately followed by the word "girl" you do get some pretty, um, interesting images. I wonder what kind of image all the OTHER people were looking for when they ended up here...ha ha! No one seems to stay long, so it makes me wonder...and, I will probably think twice before using another google image in one of my posts!

Good night!

It will be coming...I promise!

This has been a crazy week, probably one that it would have helped me IMMENSELY if I had taken the time to journal, but it just didn't happen. I have managed to take care of myself in other ways (since, you know, I have awesome friends!), but it isn't quite the same as getting it all out this way.

A new post will be coming...I promise. I just can't promise when that will be.

I want to wish all the moms Happy Mother's Day! I will be having brunch at mom and dad's with my grandparents and my sister and brother-in-law. I heard that they will wait to eat until I get there after church, but it isn't MY day, so I will have to just "deal" if that doesn't end up happening.

Well, I told my sister I would bring her some hummus, so I'd better make that before I go to bed. It is pretty late for me considering I've been up since 6 and I still need to wrap my mom's gift and write my cards.

Thank you all who are sending prayers this way...they are MUCH appreciated (and felt!)
Good night!

I knew it!

I already knew I had amazing friends...even before I started this blog, even before I wrote that post on Sunday. However, it still is a pretty awesome feeling to know that this little blog has brought such amazing people into my life. God surely has blessed me more times than I could even begin to count, but I never guessed that the He would use the Internet this way :o) Because of God working through this here blog, 24 days from now, I will be hanging out with Ginger in "the Windy City"! Is that awesome or what?!

I also have an amazing family...I actually let one of my cousins in on my "secret blog" today. She assured me she would keep my secret and it was really great to have someone else take a look at the things I have written to make sure I haven't broken any privacy laws :o) This cousin actually has three younger sisters...one is married and another is engaged, so she was able to relate to my "birth order issues". Even though both of us are VERY happy with the way our lives are right now, those other feelings still have a way of creeping in. I haven't talked to her in a LONG time since she lives halfway across the country (thank goodness for facebook...ha ha!)

Even though I do my share of venting about my mom and sister, they really are terrific people. I wouldn't be the way I am today without them. My mom cares about me SO much (and is very protective of me!) My sister is REALLY sweet and has grown up a lot. Even though she seems to have been "debilitated" by pregnancy, she actually isn't whiny about it...that's just how it is (not exactly how I hope I will be, but at least she is not whiny because that would not be cool!) It's been a while since I posted a sister picture...too bad I didn't get one of her full body, but this actually is a good picture of us :o)

Tonight was my second softball game (can I tell you how excited I am that I found that baseball background?! LOVE it!) Hopefully my body will not be as much in shock tomorrow as it was last Wednesday! I got a hit. I had an RBI. I caught two fly balls (remember, I play catcher), and participated in a double-play by tagging a girl out at home and throwing to third to get a girl tagged out there (also almost got someone into a pickle but am not QUITE that confident in my throwing arm!). This is what happened to my pinky finger during the double play...ouch! (yes, I know I should not bite my fingernails, but have been doing that for probably 25 years so...)

Yes, that stung a bit, but I got my hit AFTER the "injury", so it wasn't ALL bad (I do already have a bruise on the tip, but it hasn't stopped me from typing...ha!) We were losing by quite a bit, but came back with a few runs and made some good plays in the field. We do not practice and are still getting the rust out, but I think we will have more wins than last year...we will definitely have as much/more fun!

I mowed the lawn, I washed my summer clothes, I finished emailing the agenda for my Thursday meeting BEFORE I started typing this, I did a load of dishes...I suppose that isn't TOO bad considering it was fairly close to noon by the time I rolled out of bed...ahh, the joys of living alone and working three days a week :o) Maybe tomorrow I can tackle some of the clutter (now that the agenda has been sent, I don't have to worry about that!)

On another note...a patient I mentioned here a couple times (like, last summer, and again about 6 months ago) is very sick once again. I actually never did have permission to post her picture, so I will not do it again. However, she and her family could definitely use your prayers. Two children have passed away this past week and it just has to be SO hard sitting there in the ICU with your child knowing that she could very well be next, while hoping and praying God still has plans for her here on earth. Also, the mother of my aunt in California has suffered some bad complications after surgery and will be taken off life-support tomorrow. My cousins will be coming in town later this week. She had not been ill, so this is quite a blow to them.

To all who read...thanks for being such awesome friends :o)

A Hurt Tongue and Awesome Friends

This morning I woke up with a phone call from "the baby's mom". She was very upset because that sick baby in the PICU did not make it through the night. My friend was very good friends with that baby's parents and she was just heartbroken, trying to wrap her mind around how a baby who was doing so well a few weeks ago was now with the Lord; wondering how to help them, trying not to think about how close she had come to losing her own child while knowing this is yet another reminder not to take any moments for granted. I did not have any "words of wisdom" for her, but offered my condolences and prayers for that family. I let her know that I would call her after my sister's baby shower and we could get dinner or dessert since she is headed back home tomorrow.

I went to church, then visited with my parents before heading to my sister's baby shower. She had quite a good turn out for someone who "doesn't have any friends"...I am glad that people from her work came and her good friend from high school was a wonderful hostess. (I am thankful that she offered to hostess a shower as did my aunt/cousins so I didn't feel I needed to as well.) We played a couple fun games and she got some really nice things.

I would be lying if I said my "twinges" of jealousy that my younger sister really is experiencing pregnancy before me didn't come back. I am definitely looking forward to holding my nephew and being done with those feelings. I don't feel like taking the time to upload the one picture I took from the shower, but my sister did find a really cute dress to wear :o) She did not pass her first glucose test and needs to go back for the longer version. I am hoping she doesn't have GD, but she has definitely reevaluated the kinds of things she has been eating which is good (a couple bowls of sugary cereal for breakfast and chocolate malts at night probably played at least a small role...)

Anyway, the hurt tongue portion of this post came from having to bite my tongue--a LOT--during her shower. I am not a pregnancy expert by any means, but have definitely talked to enough pregnant people, especially during this past year to know a little. When my sister started to get the nursery ready, my sister's friend, my mom, and my aunt went to help her clean. Totally cool except for the comment made by my mom that my sister couldn't help because, you know, she is pregnant. After the whole not passing the glucose test deal I encouraged her to go for walks/use her wii fit/something. Apparently, she "cannot" do those things. Again, today, she said she couldn't do those things, even though they have a crazy dog that needs to go for walks. She also said she has to choose between dishes or laundry, but doesn't ever have energy to do both (again, totally biting my tongue so as not to make any comments that I would regret later). She "couldn't" help bring her gifts to the car. She couldn't really help pick up after everyone left. My mom did their dishes and unclogged their sink when she dropped my sister off after the shower. (To be fair, my parents have me over for dinner all the time, my dad came to my house to hang some shelves last week, and I'd like to think that if I asked my mom to help me clean she would...) I love my sister dearly, but it was almost too much to take knowing what I DO know about what kinds of things pregnant people really ARE capable of doing...

So, my tongue was REALLY hurting from biting it so much...I definitely decided against attending "family dinner" tonight. (I know myself and even if I had tried to say something helpful it is very likely it would have come out sounding condescending or insensitive or know-it-all or something else "not good"...)

A couple weeks ago, I decided to take a trip at the end of the month (I will give more details in a happier post later, but it is SO exciting!) I will be flying back into town the day of my sister's family shower. The plan is for my plane to land at noon, but there is always a chance that something could change. Before I purchased my ticket, I talked to my cousin. Even still, they scheduled the shower for 1:00. Now, I don't live TOO far away from the airport, but my aunt and uncle live another 30 minutes away from my house. My cousin said I could just go to the shower straight from the airport...yeah, like I am going to get all cute for the shower and then get on an airplane...

I cried the entire way home from the shower. I was upset for my friend. I was having issues with the whole pregnant sister thing. Upset about the next shower. Worried about my work meeting later this week. Stressed out about making the agenda for said meeting. Thinking about talking to the managers about these issues. Probably add in some hormones (and a couple other things) and I lost it...

I was still crying when I called my friend. She had gone to Mass as well and was feeling a little better than she had in the morning. She listened to me vent about the shower issues (the ones from today and my being stressed out about the next one). She told me that I need to take care of myself and do something for ME...that trip is very much something for "me" that is MUCH needed. My family will just have to understand that they are important too, but this was what needed to happen for me...and, while the timing may seem a tiny bit off, it really is "perfect".

After I got off the phone with her, I hopped onto facebook and SO excited to see Ginger online. Awesome timing, right?! Love it! She too listened to me vent and helped me sort through my issues of the day. It is so awesome to have such amazing friends...especially these two friends who came into my life in such "unconventional" ways. (Recall, I took care of "the baby" for half a shift last April and became "instant friends" with his mom. Ginger and I became friends because of this blog...thanks to Kristy and Laurie in Ca... There is definitely no "randomness" involved there!)

Instead of "family dinner", I went out with my friend and the baby (he is 18 months old now, so I may have to come up with another way to refer to him!) Since both of us shed our share of tears today, it was not a good day to take pictures. However, here is one from when they first got here and we went out. I am so glad they are headed back home tomorrow. This is a place where lots of miracles happen, but quite often there is sadness too. While that sadness is not completely forgotten when you leave this place, there is nothing like being surrounded by your own family and friends at HOME.

Well, I have decided that I cannot bring myself to do my work stuff tonight. "Technically" the agenda is to be sent out 5 days before the meeting. I would rather not rush through it especially with all the pressure that has been placed on me this time. My responsibility in this position is to disseminate information from the hospital to staff, but the group is also to discuss things that are happening on the unit. With the eruption of emotions that occured following Friday's announcement, I understand the need to spend some time working on those issues. However, it is only a two hour meeting and when there are such strong feelings about topics it takes a lot longer to discuss them. I have been asked (by my co-workers) to cut down on the time spent on hospital issues which would be great, but I would not feel like I was doing my job the way it is supposed to be done. Anyway, it has my stomach in knots and I just don't want to think about it any more...

Back to work tomorrow, but just for one day and then I am off until Friday (besides the "big meeting" on Thursday). Hopefully I have had my emotional breakdown of the week (month?!) and move on from here.

Going to bed early probably wouldn't be a bad idea...

Good night.

Snap Decision

Today I experienced the side effects of a decision that was made at work which seemed to come completely out of the blue. A significant change to our staffing system between my unit and the PICU was implemented yesterday. The information regarding that change has basically been by word of mouth...someone happened to say something yesterday and it left me speechless. Seriously, I am the chairperson of our unit council and I had NO CLUE!

Personally, I am frustrated because this was NOT communicated well at all. There should have been discussion about how this change would affect work flow PRIOR to it being implemented. There SHOULD have been some guidelines in place about what to do if certain situations arose. Nope, nothing; just a mention in passing. So, there are a lot of REALLY ticked off people, and rightfully so. Communication between our units has always been an issue for some reason. This definitely did NOT help. I really am not looking forward to our meeting next week. People are already getting after me about not leaving enough time on the agenda to discuss unit issues, but it is ALSO my responsibility to bring information from other hospital committees to our unit. This could be the toughest meeting I have had to lead (and the toughest agenda to create because in glancing at the minutes today, I think there are quite a few hospital topics that will need to be discussed...argh!)

Anyway, remember how I was really looking forward to being able to take care of my patients from yesterday?! How excited I was to spend some more time visiting with this new mom I met who ALSO reads blogs?! Well, I was walking into work and had ALMOST reached the door when it dawned on me that it COULD be my turn to "float"...so, somehow I was not surprised to see my name on the board that I was to go work in the PICU. I knew that I would have a good day "down there" but was REALLY bummed to not have "my kids" back.

As I walked into their report room, I was greeted with a very rude comment made by one of the nurses who works on that floor. Apparently, she did not really want me to come help them in their "staffing crunch" and had to make sure I knew that (actually, I am sure the comment would have been directed at ANYONE from my unit, but I was the "lucky" one today). Actually, it made me laugh inside because I couldn't believe how blatantly rude she was (I don't think any of the other people in the room could either!) I shared the "story" with some people from my floor which I maybe shouldn't have done in hindsight, but I AM planning to speak with their manager about this behavior because from the sounds of it, no one has been immune to her rudeness and it makes for a very tough work arrangement for them when they HAVE to work so closely together to care for such sick kids.

It wasn't a bad day. In fact, I was really bored for most of the day. I only had one patient and, if it weren't for a certain medication he was receiving, he would have not needed to be in the ICU. One of the other patients in my area was VERY sick and at the beginning of the day, it looked like today would be her last. So, that definitely changes the "mood" of the day. That, along with this apparent "snap decision" that was made without consideration to how it would affect the nurses who would need to deal with the change made for an interesting day. There are a LOT of upset people right now, but hopefully everyone remembers that we are all still there to take care of the kids. The kids are there to be taken care of, and that care must remain top priority even with the amount of "turmoil" going on around them.

I did go visit the little guy and his mom from yesterday. I got her email address and let her know that I enjoy baby-sitting :o) Boundaries, who needs boundaries?!...ha ha!

Well, that was a nice little venting post for this second day of May. Good thing no one at my work reads my blog! I am just as frustrated as everyone else, but hopefully I will be able to participate in helping to unruffle all the feathers before there are no feathers left :o)

Here is another quote that was in my "inbox" this week as an "inspirational message". It "sort of" goes with this post...a reminder of why I do what I do...even when really annoying things happen.

"Make a gift of your life and lift all mankind by being kind, considerate, forgiving, and compassionate at all times, in all places, and under all conditions, with everyone as well as yourself. This is the greatest gift anyone can give." ~David R. Hawkins, American Doctor, Author and Spiritual Teacher


I am looking forward to my sister's baby shower that is tomorrow afternoon. I have to decide what gift I will bring, but I am thinking it will be a gift of all the things I have bought on etsy for him (so far) :o)

Good night!