An Oldie but a Goodie

I created a birthday movie back in 2008 and have posted it on my birthday every year since. The computer I made it on died and I haven't taken the time to re-scan all the pictures to make a new one. So, here's the original post I wrote in 2008 followed by birthday pictures of the years since (if I can find them without taking too much time!) "You're so skinny!" was a phrase I heard a lot this weekend, so I need to re-watch the video and see what I "used" to look like...ha! I am SO very blessed and am thankful to have lived 33 fabulous years...and looking forward to the blessings that are sure to come.

From Movies

or this! 

2008

2009

2010

2011

On Vacation...and So I Blog

I am not sure I've EVER gone this long without posting on my blog since I started it in 2007. It's been just over six weeks since I got my second foster placement (Zoe--she's 4 1/2 and has cystic fibrosis). I think we are starting to get into a good routine...for now anyway. She finished with her nebulizer antibiotic last week, so her treatments take about 15 minutes less than they used to. I've also been getting called off work a lot :( (my next pay check is going to be about half of what it usually is since I took vacation and have no PTO to cover it after all the other days of not getting to work). When I'm off, we can get her treatments started a little earlier and we are already at home rather than me having to get her from day care after work and driving home (even though it is only a 10 minute drive, that makes a difference!) So, not being able to work sucks for the "cash flow", but it has helped both of us get a little more sleep!

She's doing really well and we have a lot of fun when we do get to "hang out". She goes to Head Start from 9-4 Monday through Friday and then has visits right after that until 7:30. So, our time together is mostly treatments, bath, snack, reading books, and bed. I was off last weekend, though, so we got to have some fun. I'm also off all this next week (my birthday is Monday--yay!) and she has two days off school, so we'll be able to do something.

Right now, I am over 700 miles away in a hotel room waiting for my college friend to drive from her home to meet me. I'm attending my 10-year college reunion and I'm SO excited to see people I haven't seen in a long time. One friend picked me up from the airport this morning (my flight left at 6 AM...that was brutal!) and brought me to see some of my "peeps" in the nursing department that were/are very special to me (I had a job in the nursing office, so got to know lots of the administrative assistants and professors pretty well). She brought me to lunch and then to the airport to check in. For dinner, I walked to the Downtown area. I think we'll go back there for drinks after my friend arrives :)

My sister is taking care of Zoe this weekend while I'm gone. She and my mom came over on Monday to learn her treatments and medications. I gave her three pages of notes and she said she may be texting me tomorrow, but I know she'll be fine. I talked to her after her evening treatment and my sister said she did fine with everything and had a good snack. I'm definitely going to miss her, but I'll be back Sunday afternoon and tomorrow will be really busy, so it will be ok :)

Speaking of missing...the teen hasn't been coming around in a while. The last time she spent the night was September 23, so going on a month. That after living here half the summer and every weekend after that. It's really weird and I don't know what's going on, but I miss having her at my house and hearing about what's been going on. She had lots of erratic spending/withdrawals (as in, over $500 in two weeks) from her bank account and I found out that her mom left town again (not for as long this time). Since she wasn't talking to me, I was afraid she had funded her mom's trip and it was really stressing me out. Then, there was a $141 transaction to a tattoo place and I about lost it (she was close to over-drafting her checking account twice). I was all ready to shut down her account and take back the $200 I gave her to start them in the first place. One of my twitter friends stopped me from doing that though ;)

I finally was able to talk to her in person and asked what was going on. She said nothing and that she had cash in her room as well as a pay check. She continued to maintain that everything was fine until I told her how close I was to closing the account. Then, she told me nonchalantly without making eye contact that she had bought a car (with help from her mom...shocker!...and I don't want to know where that money came from). The car was $1000 and she doesn't have her license yet, but she thinks that was a good decision so she can get to and from work (and school) easier. I'm not 100% convinced, but it is what it is. She's a little scared to drive after she was riding in a car with her friend who got into an accident. It wasn't her fault, but the teen had horrible seat belt bruises (thank goodness she was wearing one!) Later that night (last Friday), a good friend from work was hit by a drunk driver and died from his injuries. She said they are going to do some drinking and driving awareness stuff at work in his honor and do a fundraiser. It is really sad she is dealing with that stuff, but I think it will help her continue to make good choices. I'm not sure how her grades are. She said she wasn't doing well in math, but didn't say much else. She still wants to go to the big university, but she needs to get at least 5 points higher on her ACT which she is taking next week. I hope she continues to stay focused and working hard toward her goals/dreams :)

Zoe's mom goes back to court on December 3. I don't think they can change her placement status until after court. Apparently things are going well, so I'm not sure how much longer I'll have her after that. She does seem willing to do what is asked of her (like starting to offer Zoe her supplements on visits rather than taking the easy way out and giving her the water that she wants) and hasn't canceled visits. She didn't attend either of the family team meetings we have had and also missed a doctor's appointment, but those are being excused away by the caseworker...it is what it is. I found out that the caseworker is 3 months into this job, but it is her second career...that explains some of why she is the way she is (my agency caseworker is a foster/adoptive parent and has been working with the system for over 35 years).

Even though some days are tough, I am so thankful to have these girls (and the little one) in my life. I know that I have made a difference in their lives, and will continue to have an impact on them.

I'm looking forward to having some fun away from it all (even though I'm sure I'll be talking about them a lot!) I'll try not to be such a stranger to this blog :)

Until the next time...

One year, 4 days...Four weeks

It's been one year and four days since my first foster placements went home after living here for 16 months. It has been four weeks since I got my second foster placement. I had no idea what was going to happen in the days, weeks, months, year after I said "good-bye" on that day. Little did I know that the teen would end up spending so much time with me, including living here for half the summer. She hasn't stayed here in about two weeks which is the longest amount of time she has spent in a row at home since April (or maybe even since February!) I noticed that she took $260 out of her bank account yesterday and nearly overdrew her checking, so I have no idea what's going on, but I'm praying that everything is okay. I haven't talked to her mom in probably six weeks, but the teen says things are fine and her sister is okay too (not sure her "okay" is the same as mine, but it is what it is and I pray she isn't as "bad off" as I imagine).

Things with my new placement are going well. I named her "Zoe" here and on twitter and have actually almost called her that a couple of times. We have a pretty good routine, although it is pretty crazy. I rarely get her to bed by 9:30 (usually 9:45/9:50) and on days I work, we leave here at 6:00. On days I'm off, we have to be up BY 7:15 in order to get everything done before school starts at 8:45. She only has one week left of her antibiotic nebulizer, so that will shorten her treatment times by quite a bit. I hope her infection is clear, otherwise I think that means she would have to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics (and then likely home with them with more treatments). It seems like she is doing well and I've been giving her all her medication, but I need to remind myself that she does have a chronic illness and could possibly end up in the hospital (although less likely since she is being "properly cared for" at this time). She has gained about two pounds since being placed with me and I can feel every ounce when I carry her asleep to the car at 6 AM (she still weighs less than the 50 pound suitcase with her equipment/medications that I drag back and forth between home and day care...that makes me very thankful I only work 3 days a week!)

She was off school (she goes to Head Start) on Friday and Monday, so we went to the Pumpkin Patch. Her visit last Friday was canceled, so we had the WHOLE day to ourselves and it was really fun (she has visits Monday through Friday from right after school until 7:30 so she is dropped off around 7:45/8:00). Tomorrow's visit is also canceled, but I am scheduled to work (although our census has been low, so I could end up with the day off), so it won't feel like it's canceled since I get off at that time anyway.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with her (besides plan for reunification), but I heard that the case is going to go to a trial (no idea what that means). The next court date is December 3rd and I was told that it is unlikely that anything would/could change with visitation/placement before then. So, I will probably have her for another two months. I feel like I have made quite the impact in the four weeks I have had her, so I'm really looking forward to seeing how well she will be doing two months from now :)

Until the next time...keep all of us in your prayers...this crazy, but blessed life of ours :)

Keeping Busy

I have been wanting to post an update on how things are going, but it's been super busy and I'm too tired to stay awake much after Zoe does most nights. She is doing well and is really sweet. She likes the teen, which is good since the teen was here nearly every day last week (I haven't talked to her since Monday this week though). Last week was pretty exhausting since I worked my three shifts during the week, took the teen to the University that's 60 miles away twice (once for a conference and once for a football game), and still had to do all Zoe's treatments and continue to coordinate everything (I am SOOOOO sick of telephone calls!) Her treatments take about an hour in the morning and an hour at night. The day care does them on the days that I work which helps, but it is rare that I get her to bed before 9:45 PM...SO late! Usually, she is up about 6:30, but I have to leave by 6:00 on the days that I work and we can't sleep much past 7 since she has to be at school between 8:45 and 9. She has visits M-F from after school until 8:00, so many days I only see her for treatments, snack, bath, book, and bed. She has tomorrow and Monday off school and I may "forget" to tell people so I can actually spend some time with her (I had last weekend off, so did get time, but it was a lot of time with the teen too and my sister watched her all day on Saturday). Tomorrow, we are planning a trip to the Pumpkin Patch after her doctor appointment.

So, there's a quick update. It's sometimes a little crazy, but mostly it's good. She is cute and goes to bed really easily/sleeps through the night/is fully potty trained/can keep herself occupied while I do things around the house...so I really don't have any reason to complain ;) The case is kind of crazy and it almost seems like there are people who think she's the problem there was medical non-compliance (one of the reasons for removal), not her mom which is SO weird...they are super "yay mom". So, I'm not sure how long she'll be here, but hopefully long enough to have a good stretch of healthy days. Cystic fibrosis is a fatal disease (2008 data from that link says average survival 37.4 years) and not being properly cared for as a young child definitely doesn't help matters :(

Hopefully things will "settle down" and we can get into some kind of routine. It's challenging with her five day a week visits, school schedule, and my "abnormal" work hours, but we're doing the best we can :)
Until the next time...

Remembering and Celebrating

I know I need to make some time to write about how everything has been going around here, but today is not that day...at least not yet ;) It's been a year since Sara took her last breath. It was so awesome to see how many people had been changed by "knowing" her in the days leading up to her death and in the days that followed. Even now, you'll occasionally see an "@ gitzengirl" on twitter and people all over the world continue to Choose Joy in her honor and memory (some even have those words tattooed permanently...maybe I will some day ;) ) Although I never got my "face-to-face" or telephone chat, I am grateful for all the times we did "connect". I know she would be as happy as I am with how things have ended up with the teenager and I'm sure she'd say she was proud of me for "doing it again" with a new placement. Her family has kept her blog active, so if you haven't "met" Sara, today would be a good day. She was an amazing person who left behind quite a legacy. Choose Joy...today and every day.

Finding my Words (Originally Posted September 24, 2011)

Ever since I read the words on Sara's blog last Wednesday saying that hospice had been brought into her home and her days left here would be few, I have been trying to find my words. That post came two days after I found out that my foster daughters could go home and their days left here in my home would also be few.

Every time I thought maybe I'd be able to find the words, I'd read another beautiful post by one of her friends (like Alece, Mandy and Shannon). I bawled reading this post and even though I kept reminding myself that I just needed to speak from my heart and be myself, I just couldn't do it. Even though this post put into words how you can be so incredibly sad to lose someone that you've never actually "met" (thank you social media), I still struggled. I was thankful for the nearly 700 comments on that post last Wednesday and the well over 100 links on this post to help me not feel so crazy to feel this way about someone I never actually met. I know that my family and friends who live here would NEVER understand, but I'm so grateful to have friends who do.

Finally, I'm sitting in a quiet house with a Green Apple Smirnoff and going to attempt to find some words to share.

I was trying to remember when and how I first came to know Sara (Gitzen Girl). However, I really can't remember. I think either it's one of those things that happened that didn't seem significant at the time, but ended up being something much bigger or something so "fabulous" that I can't remember my life without her blog in it ;)

I did do a little "research" and it appears that the first post I wrote that mentioned her was in February of 2009 in this post. It appears that the first time I actually left a comment on her blog was that same month on this post which is actually a very funny "Flashback Friday" about when she had someone get her chicken on a Friday during Lent since it "wasn't meat"...one of the many reasons people love Sara :)

The month after that, Sara was doing something called "Hump Day Giveaways" which again is super funny because who doesn't enjoy saying "Hump Day Giveaway"?! ;) I left a comment on this post, found out the following day I was a winner, and wrote a rather boastful post on my blog to celebrate. That canvas now hangs in my kitchen and it is a gift I will treasure forever.


In April 2010, I wrote about "bringing Sara" to Holy Week services with me and how that made it that much more special (FYI the rest of that post is really boring and all over the place, but I did write about that ;) ) Knowing Sara and her "circumstances" definitely helped change my views on a lot of things...I open the windows more, I play in the rain more, take more time to look at flowers and listen to nature, and hope I take less of my life and its blessings for granted.


In June 2010, I was completely "star struck" after being included in Gitz Bits (I sent her "Glee Gum") and had begun to refer to myself as a "Gitzen Girl Groupie" (or THE Gitzen Girl Groupie...excuse me ;) ) That was the month I became a foster parent and I was on the receiving end of many prayers and much love and support in that decision and the journey that followed.

The following month, Sara's dad died suddenly and I wrote in this (very long) post that I had read it while I was at work and was so sad for her, especially since she was unable to really be with her whole family during that time. A month or two ago, I shared with her that she and her parents were in one of my dreams. I wish I could get my twitter feed back that far since I don't remember everything, but I remember making some kind of comment to her dad about "checking out early" and he had some kind of sarcastic remark since obviously mine was a bit out of line...she told me that was the kind of response I would have gotten from him. There was more in that dream that I can't remember now, but I am glad I was able to share some of it with her.


In September, 2010, the "little one" (my then 3-year-old foster daughter) and I found this video.



I can't even tell you how many times we watched it or how many nights in a row she asked to "see Sara". I've watched it a few times this past week too because I have also wanted to "see Sara". This is the closest I ever really came to "seeing" her. We made plans to Skype a few times last fall, but it never worked out with her health/our schedules. Last September was the first time I remember telling her that "for real" seeing and/or talking to her was on my "Bucket List"...she laughed and/or made fun of me every time I said it (her exact words in a tweet were "oh my word, I'm not bucket list material, woman! Riley, maybe :)" ) The last tweet I could find from her was about six weeks ago before Jessica's visit. She was SO excited about that visit and I told her I was jealous of Jessica (no offense...she responded that I was jealous of the wrong person!) I reminded her of my "Bucket List" and she responded "we'll get that checked off someday, girl. then you can aim higher :)" Totally Sara :)

In October 2010, I participated in my first (and only) "Take Five Friday" and in December, I linked up to my one (and only) "You: Create" link-up. I was inspired to make a canvas for my teenage foster daughter's 16th birthday. Sara helped me figure out what to put on it by suggesting song lyrics. I decided to use lyrics from Lady Antebellum's song "I Was Here"--"I know it's my destiny to leave more than a trace of myself in this place." Those are some powerful words and I definitely know Sara is leaving WAY more than a trace of herself in this place.

I'm not sure why my "research" didn't find any posts from 2011, but I think it's because 2011 had more "tweets" and blog comments exchanged than anything else. Sara may have been a "big name blogger", but she had a way of making everyone feel like they were the most important person in the world to her. She prayed for you, she rejoiced with you, she cried with you, she was a cheerleader and a devoted friend and family member. In response to a comment I left on one of her (in)courage posts back in May, she told me "hi, sweet girl. you are doing such an amazing with those girls, and I know they will treasure these memories just as much as you do. much love!" That was written just a few days before I thought the girls were going home. Now, as I am just days away of them "for real" going home, they are exactly the words I need to hear. That is Sara...one of the many things about her that will be missed...

Hopefully my struggle to find my words wasn't too painful for anyone else to read, but this blog has always been for me and I want to remember this. It is a little "linky crazy", but at least all (or most) of my "Sara posts" will be in one place whenever I need a reminder to "Choose Joy". Sara is more precious to me than words can say. I regret that there are cards I bought for her that never were sent. I wish I really would have hopped in my car one day and drove to see her (honestly, I was more afraid of any "funky stuff" that I carried on me from being a pediatric nurse than afraid of being seen as a "crazy lady" for randomly showing up on her doorstep!) I'm not sure Sara ever could have met a stranger who didn't soon become her friend...and that is why there are "strangers" all over the world grieving over the fact that this world is losing an amazing person while also celebrating that in Heaven she will be free of the pain she faced on this Earth. Sara, you will be missed, but know that your legacy will live on in each and every person who has read your words, heard your story, been on the receiving end of a tweet/email/blog comment, etc. Who knew that a farm girl from Iowa who couldn't leave her condo could do so much good...only God...and I am SO very blessed that God chose me to be a part of it too. Thank you Sara. And, if any of her family happens upon this post...thanks for sharing Sara with all of us...my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.


Update: Just as I was putting the finishing touches on this post, drinking the last sip of my Green Apple Smirnoff, Sara was taking her last breath. I woke up at 6:00 this morning to get ready for work and saw the posts on twitter. I haven't exactly had time to process since I need to leave for work very shortly, but will be praying for her family and all who love her. I found a scrub top to wear to work that has hearts and stars and the words "Love", "Peace", and "Joy"...I will remember to "Choose Joy".


Also, if you clicked here from Jessica's site and were curious about the red square thumbnail...well, it was supposed to be this--a picture (from my phone) of my canvas on the wall in my kitchen. However, I obviously had some major technological difficulties and had no clue how to fix it ;)

New Placement Update

I thought I'd better take the time to post an update to let everyone know that I'm surviving being the foster mom of a child with a chronic illness ("Zoe"). Of course, I haven't had to work since I got her and when I go back on Saturday, I will have been off for 11 days, so it will be a rude awakening! I had to take yesterday off work since they haven't been able to secure day care at a place that takes children with medical needs yet. I need that for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so am praying that gets worked out soon. I'm also praying that they can figure out transportation between her day care and the school where she has been going for their Head Start program. She really likes her teachers and the consistency would be SO helpful!

When she got dropped off here Thursday night, it was a "bit" traumatic and she was crying when she arrived and kept bringing me the toy phone to call her mom. She settled down pretty quickly in my toy room. It helps that I'm not a stranger since I've been her nurse multiple times. We had a fun weekend including the Zoo and my Church Festival (my dad is the leprechaun!) 

Her respiratory treatments take about 25 minutes two times a day. She had an appointment today and they are adding a couple of medications that will extend the treatment time by about 5 minutes twice a day. So, getting into a good routine will be necessary or it could be a little overwhelming. It's nice to have this time off work to adjust since it will be another adjustment throwing work in there too! We were at the Doctor appointment for just over three hours and I hadn't eaten lunch since it was only to be an hour appointment and it was during her nap time. Her family was there and they had a million questions, mostly about the case which no one there could answer (first court hearing is tomorrow). Throw in the fact that they don't speak English and it took a whole lot longer than it should have.

Overall, she has been a REALLY good girl for me. She does understand English since she's been in the hospital and around English speaking people, but her family only speaks Spanish. So, sometimes I don't know if she isn't listening to me because she is 4 or because she doesn't understand me or a little bit of both. Tonight, I realized that she sings "Cinco, Cinco Little Star" and it cracks me up. We had a bed time conversation in the difference between a "pillow" and "pelo" (hair). The teen stayed her a few nights and told me that she was asking for a blanket when she said a word I didn't understand.

I have no idea what "the plan" is going to be or how long she'll be with me, but we've had fun the past five days and I'll continue to try to go with the flow (even though getting one hour notice for visits is not very much fun). I actually haven't told very many people I know "in real life" that I have a placement...I guess maybe I'll share that information if it looks like she'll stay longer than a week ;)

The first three mornings she got up before 7:00 (a couple of times before 6:30), but yesterday and today it was closer to 7:30. I'm used to rolling myself out of bed "9ish", so this is definitely an adjustment (of course, I would have had to get up to bring the teen to school two of those days anyway, but still!)

Enjoy the pictures...I'll try to write again soon. I need to type up a "teenager update"...she is doing great and we have still been having fun (and have more planned for next week!)

It's Time....

I got a call a little after noon today to see if I would take a foster placement. It is actually a 4-year-old girl that I know from my job at the hospital. I think I'll call her "Zoe" here since I already have "the little one" and "the teen" and my "favorite" names all start with "A" ;) I went to the clinic and got training on her medications and treatments. It is going to be quite an adjustment for me sleep-wise and I'm as nervous as I am excited. I am not sure what time she will be brought to my house tonight, but I appreciate any and all prayers for a "quiet" night and for both of us (and her parents) in the days to come as we adjust to these life changes.

Live Your Own Life

I have been awful at blogging these past few months! Overall, things are going well and I don't have much/any complaints (maybe that's why I haven't been blogging...not too much to "vent" about!)

After my month of having to sign up for extra shifts at work, our census has been really low and I haven't worked my full-time hours in over three weeks. That really stinks considering I have a vacation planned for next month that I may have to take without pay. I also am going to have someone do a pretty big backyard landscaping project later this month. I'm going to have to take out a loan for that (or use my credit card) which is okay, but not as "okay" if I'm going to miss out on $300+ a pay check! Other than that, work is good. I had my annual performance evaluation which went really well (I didn't cry and I didn't get hives!) They would like me to work on a large project about the work done on my unit to present hospital-wide (hopefully with a group of other nurses from my unit!) That actually would be pretty cool, but a lot of work!

Today, I was "on call" for work, which stinks (last week when I was on call, I got called in right before I was going to have lunch with my family and yesterday I got called in by 10:00). It didn't seem that likely that I'd get called in, but I have to be there within an hour, so couldn't stray too far from home. I decided to "take a chance" and try to spend the day with my nephew. I wanted to take him to a Museum or something, but it would have taken too long if I had to bring him back to my sister. So, we went to a park and played for a while. I face planted during one of my attempts at an "underdog" while he was on the swing. Thank goodness we were at the park by ourselves! After the park, we went to the mall and played in their little play area. It wasn't quite lunch time, so we started walking around the mall and I spotted Build a Bear. We went inside and they had bears that were only $10, so I decided we would do that. He didn't realize there were options for sound and clothes/accessories, so it really was affordable and I think he had fun.

The teen has stayed with me every weekend and a couple of times during the week since school started. I've also been giving her rides home from school/work intermittently. Her mom rarely contacts me (except when she's freaking out or wants to complain about the teen or wants me to do something like take the little one for the day because she "had stuff to do"). She irritates me so much when I do have contact with her that I try not to complain about the lack of her involvement in any of the positive parts of the teen's life. I wish she had half a clue how amazing her daughter is, but I know there is nothing I can do to change that. So, I continue to support the teen (besides getting irritated with her last night when she agreed to work an extra shift without a plan on how she was getting home besides calling me and telling me that she was probably going to miss three days of school to go out of town for a cousin's birthday...I don't think that's cool when you already struggle in school and are trying to get into college, but I could be overreacting...) and give her positive reinforcement. She talks to me all the time, even sharing that she stayed up until 2:30 AM on a school night talking to a guy from work about "girl problems"...I think she knew it was "wrong" but needed me to be another voice of reason. She's a great kid and I'm very proud of her. It has been a blessing to watch her grow and change during these 2+ years since she first came to live here and I'm really looking forward to seeing what amazing things she will do with her life. 

I have been in the process of lining up day care/baby-sitter coverage so I'm ready if/when I get a call from my agency for a placement. I told them they could start calling me in September after all the new computer stuff at work settled down. My sister texted me on September 1st asking if I had gotten any calls...not yet and you'll probably be the first to know! These next two weeks probably would be "ideal" with my work schedule being the way it is, but I already know that the timing is not up to me and it will happen if/when it is supposed to. I met two college girls on Sunday that I found on one of the baby-sitter Internet sites. They go to the college that is right down the street. One is a nursing major and the other is elementary education. I also found a friend of a friend who is a child life specialist but unable to work in a hospital because of some health issues. So, hopefully one of the three of them will be able to help me on weekends and times when the day care/school is not open and I have to work. Even though my family didn't want to be as involved "the next time", I still think they will be willing to help if they can.

I was having an after dinner drink with my parents and their (retired) neighbors. I know their neighbors really well and was talking to the wife about how things were going and mentioned that I'd interviewed a couple baby-sitters. She wondered why I was interviewing baby-sitters. I told her it was so I was ready for my "next placement". Her response was that I "shouldn't do that" and that I need to "start living my own life"... I feel like I handled myself pretty well in the moment, but it did make me cry a little bit once I got home. I discovered when I posted something on twitter that I'm not alone in people making comments like that to foster/adoptive parents. Sure, I have had some really stressful and emotional times during the past 2+ years during my foster parenting/post-reunification time. However, I think parenting (and life in general) comes with "stressful and emotional times". Even with the irritations, frustrations, emotional, and stressful times, I have been so blessed and "fostering" makes me happy. Even though my life choices may not be the choices others would make (hello, I turned down an almost full-ride scholarship to a pretty prestigious University and then turned down the opportunity to get a sign-on bonus and my college tuition paid for by a hospital...), I don't have regrets and am looking forward to having another child(ren) placed in my home for a while.

I don't remember when I changed the header on my blog (it's been a long time...change is hard for me!), but it was before I became a foster parent, so probably at least three years. However, when I did, I chose for it to say "My beautiful Journey" because this is my life, my journey...and it is beautiful, even if it isn't like anyone else's, or what anyone else thinks it should look like. "The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you."

And, since I think about Sara all the time and can hardly believe she's been gone nearly a year, here's a link to another one of her "quote heavy" posts...I miss her, but am so thankful I still have easy access to her words... 

Until the next time...

Here We Go Again

Last Saturday, one of my cousins got married. My mom insisted on taking me shopping to get a new dress at a "nicer" store since the past couple of dresses I've gotten have been from the Junior's section of Kohl's (on sale for less than $30). She actually "forced" me to get two so she could use her coupon (that was off a purchase over $120...yikes!) It's kind of hard to see in the picture, but I do like it a lot and the material is pretty darn "fancy" for me ;) 

After shopping, then she, my sister, and I got pedicures and then went to a salon get our hair done. Guess my mom really wanted to pamper her girls and neither of us complained! The lady who did my hair didn't listen at all and my sister had to "fix" it some, but everyone thought it looked cute (all I wanted was a wash and style with her doing a twist or braid or something to keep the front hair out of my face...she basically did an "up do" using half a bottle of hair spray...)

The wedding was fun and it was nice to get a whole family picture...aren't we cute?! ;)

I love him. He is getting so big...even going potty in the big boy potty now :) Yesterday, I had him come over for a couple of hours for an auntie-nephew play date and apparently he is already asking my sister when he can come back.

Last Sunday, my dad came over to help me put together the new day bed I bought for the guest/foster kid room. It took us three tries to get it right, but I think it looks really nice. I (kind of) wish I would have taken a "before" picture because this room really was a disaster. Seriously, there was crap everywhere and had no sense of order. Of course, a portion of the crap is now on my bedroom floor and I still don't have a completely organized scrap-booking area in the basement, but it is a huge improvement! The tool chest and vacuum have since been removed, so I think a child really could sleep in there :) (There is no pillow on the Tinkerbell bed because the teen likes the silky material so it's on her bed) The teen's room actually looks halfway decent right now, so maybe I should take pictures of that room to post on here too.

Speaking of the teen...that is the reason behind the title of this post. During the past couple of weeks, she has stayed the night at my house about as many times as she has stayed at home. In that time (going back to August 6 in my "handy dandy notebook"), her mom contacted me once to bring her to her meeting at the school and once to see if I could bring her to a job interview (the same day she had me sign all the papers at school that she hadn't filled out/signed). Not once did she double check to make sure everything was "cool" or utter a thank you for not leaving her daughter stranded at work when she wouldn't answer her phone to let her know how she was getting home.

Then, last night, her mom decided to have one of her freak out crazy nights...I guess all these weeks of her leaving us be was too good to last. It does make me sad that she doesn't seem to give a sh*t, or enough to check in with me every once in a while (except when she needs something). However, that does make it much easier for the teen and I to "do our thing". I have no idea what set her mom off, but at 10:30 last night, I was getting a text message from her basically calling the teen a liar. Pretty soon after the text, she called me super ticked off saying she was going to go to the school and get to the bottom of all this lying and she was not going to be staying here any more. Then, at 11:00 she said she wanted her daughter home "now" even if she has to take a cab...then she texted that her friend couldn't come get her, so she could stay, but this was the "last night".

In between the "dialogue" with me, she was texting the teen and they "talked" (i.e. her mom yelled) a little on the phone too. I tried to sit back, but at one point looked over and the teen was sobbing. She hardly ever cries, especially in regards to the way her mom acts/treats her. So, I know whatever was being said/texted was hurtful. She also had had a rough day at school with a friend stealing her Algebra book and lying about it and a few of her friends were supposed to stay the night at my house with her but all backed out last minute, so that could have played a role in the tears too, but her mom was being completely irrational and unkind. It makes me so sad that her mom treats her like that. Her daughter is AMAZING and she has absolutely no clue. She handled the book stealing thing with tons of grace and maturity...I'm not sure I could have done it (especially the part about telling her friend she wasn't mad at HER, just upset that her friend was going to let her get in trouble for being unprepared for class since she didn't have a book). 

The "lying" her mom was accusing her of was partially in regards to a "group project" the teen said she was doing. The plan (before her friends all flaked) was that they would make their "little sister" costumes together. Instead, I helped her. You can't tell from the picture, but she spray painted the hat and it has brown pipe cleaners for hair. I made the diaper (with a little help from her) out of a white tablecloth (arts and crafts are NOT my thing, so it's pretty sad, but it worked!) Her little sister was to be Tommy from the Rug Rats...and her friends made costumes for the other characters from the show. I sent her mom a picture of the "evidence" she was, indeed, working on a project. She kind of accused me of lying too since she wondered why we were working on it so late, but I was at choir practice for 2 hours, so we weren't working on it the whole time (plus, I'm not crafty, so it took a lot more time than it should have!)...ugh!

So, here we go again...there's no telling how long she will be "banned" from coming to my house. The good news is that it doesn't usually last long, especially since it is WAY more convenient to put the responsibility of transporting, feeding, overall caring for the teen on me.

Until the next time...

Sunday, August 26, 9AM update...I got a call from the teen last night at 9:30 asking if she could come over since she couldn't reach her mom. She said she didn't care what her mom had said because she was basically stranded at work. I laughed and said sure. She didn't get to my house until nearly 11, but said her mom had texted her back that it was okay. She told me that her mom wasn't at all upset when she got home on Friday and didn't mention any of the "drama" from Thursday night. I guess this is a good example about why I/we shouldn't get too upset when she does her "crazy thing" because it rarely lasts long. She overslept this morning, but just got picked up for work. I had time to pack her a little bit of a lunch before she went (and threw in a pack of gum since I am pretty sure she didn't brush her teeth...)

Until the next time...

Senior Year

The teen started her Senior year on Thursday. During the past week, she has stayed the night at my house as many nights as she has stayed at hers. I think this is an okay arrangement for the time being. I love having her here and love that she feels comfortable here. We have both come a long way in the nearly 27 months that we have known each other. She is looking at college scholarships and has dreams of attending the University in a nearby city. Of course, she needs to bump up her ACT score to do that as well as boost her GPA, but she is acting very determined to stay focused and organized. She plans to continue working, but I have reminded her that school is her top priority (she had to pay $1100 to get started and will have to pay monthly tuition as well as her monthly Internet bill so she can do her homework at her house). She often has to take a cab home from work which is not cheap. I'm hoping that God continues to bless me with health and hours at work so I can help her financially if it starts getting tough to manage school and work (and her crazy mom).

I am so proud of her! She is excited to be starting her Senior year with all her friends. Her mom left her (and me) in limbo for over 3 months with the threat of her having to change schools and start over...not cool. She has a great advisor and everyone at the school is excited to see her back. Her school is all girls, so each Senior is paired with a Freshman "little sister". The last photo is from locker decorating (her little sister is "Keeley" and she got the polka dotted paper from my house :) She was pretty proud of it.

The first two pictures are from when she and I took my parents' Japanese student (a 17-year-old who stayed with them for a week) Downtown to one of our favorite places--feeding the ducks/geese. They swarmed us and it was a fun time. We also walked around Downtown and met up with the teen's friend and their "little sisters". I'm glad the teen helped me keep her entertained. She helped me last year when they had two students too :)

The other pictures are from when my dad, sister, and I took the Japanese student and my two nephews to the Zoo. It was a little warm and we walked the whole thing (and it's a big zoo!!) I was thankful to have the day off so I could join them. My first nephew is at a really fun age and loves hanging with his aunt (he thinks I'm fun :) ).

Tonight, I get to go to a cousin's wedding. My mom "forced" me to go shopping with her this morning so she could buy me some "nicer" dresses. I don't buy fancy/expensive stuff (and I guess since she bought, I still technically don't). It is kind of fun to have something new to wear. Then, she, my sister and I got pedicures and our hair done. Of course, the lady didn't listen to me. All I wanted was for her to wash it, dry it, and pull the front into a twist or braid to keep it out of my face. She did curls and poofed it up high in the front and kind of poofy in the back too. Thankfully, my sister went to cosmetology school, so she is going to fix it before the wedding tonight.

I've been really bad at keeping up with the blog, but it's been busy with work and taking care of the teenager (and the Japanese student this week too). I'm still set to open up my home to foster placement calls come September, so we shall see what happens with that...

Until the next time...