Another Year

I wanted to do a really cool New Year's post and even made a movie/slide show of pictures from the year set to music. But, that is stuck on my lap top that still will not go past the black screen. I am trying not to be sad about it, still hopeful that it will be fixed. If I think too hard, it will make me sick because this will be the third time I have lost "everything" (on my computer that is) I have some files backed up, but not nearly everything. I guess I can post the year-in-review movie when my computer is back up and running.

I worked for 13 hours today and it was busy. So, I'm not feeling much like partying. I am going to a friend's house for pizza and then hoping to meet up with another friend for champagne (maybe at East Coast Midnight since I work again in the morning).

2009 was a good year, a very good year actually. Looking forward to all the blessings God has in store for me in 2010.

Well, I'd better go pick up the pizza while it's hot.
Happy New Year!

Who Needs a Wedding?

I can't believe I missed my 700th post!! I went to write this one and noticed that my last post was number 702...so, for "future reference", if my calculation was correct and the last post was, indeed number 702, then that should make this post number 700. 700 posts is a lot, but I don't necessarily think that means I have SOMETHING to say, just that I say things a lot ;o)

Back to the title of this post...I was SO excited to get that 5 AM call to see if I wanted to the day off work. Absolutely, positively, YES! And then I slept until like 10:15. I didn't get as much done around the house as I should have, but hopefully I am "recovered" since my aunt is coming over around 8:30 to help me figure out how to decorate my living room (hopefully she doesn't want to help me organize anything else because I'm not feeling THAT motivated!) I was planning to write my thank you notes today, but that didn't happen either (I do have clean laundry and ran the dishwasher, but that's about it!)

However, when I was organizing things, I realized that I got quite a lot of "wedding" type gifts. I got shelves that may or may not go in my living room. I got a 20 piece Pyrex set. I got a set of picture frames in all different sizes. I got a 107 piece flatware set with service for TWELVE (soup spoons, regular spoons, salad forks, dinner forks, knives, etc.) I also got towels, a soap dispenser, a soap dish, and a toothbrush holder. Seriously, I don't need to get married...I have everything I need! Plus, having my piano was an awesome Christmas present to myself (and also kind of a "grown up" gift ;o) ) Of course, I also did get some socks, gift cards, jewelry, and hair product. (I know, listing all these things, I know that I am "quite" spoiled, but they also are all "practical" gifts that will be useful for a very long time.)

Today was a "basketball day". I went and watched 1 1/2 games at my high school alma mater (there are three more games tomorrow, so maybe I can go to a couple more!) and then to a college game with my parents. Yesterday, when I went to the game, the woman at the gate asked for my student ID (I told her I was "old" and paid the adult price...ha!) Today, I started talking to one of the moms toward the end of the game and she asked if I was a parent...ha! (I think she was being overly cautious, but yesterday I was wearing glasses and no make-up and today I had my contacts in and did put on a little bit of make-up...still funny though!)

Well, I should pick up a little bit more before I go to bed because I can't let my aunt come into this disaster. I typed this post on my netbook because my lap top froze before I left for the basketball game. It was still frozen when I returned, so I shut it off. I have tried multiple times to turn it back on and it only comes back to black. I'm really hoping that it just needs a good night's rest and will be working perfectly in the morning (and then I can make sure I have backed up all my files!). I was getting frustrated with the sound because it was starting to "skip" again. I have already brought it in two or three times with that problem which really stinks...but at least the only problem was the sound...

Good night.

B.O.R.E.D.

So, I really shouldn't say that word because I do have a sink full of dishes, laundry to put away, Christmas cards to send, thank you notes to write, and some gifts to wrap...but, I definitely sat on my couch from the time I got out of bed (after 10:00 which means I slept for over 10 hours for the second night in a row) until now...except for a trip to my high school to catch 3/4 of a basketball game and a stop at the store for some ice melt. I spent all day on the couch logged into facebook and watching television. I even made a facebook group for my high school class that I have thought about doing for a long time. Oh yeah, maybe I should have done paperwork for my work committee that I'm over three months behind on. My "to do" list is a mile long, but I decided to do "nothing". I did take the garbage to the curb which is something I did NOT do last week on the night before garbage day (which means it wasn't REALLY "optional" this week since two weeks worth of garbage in the kitchen is pretty nasty, especially since I actually cooked a couple times during the past two weeks.) Even with all the couch sitting (I did actually sit on my piano bench for a while and practiced my music...what talent I did have seems to be coming back and I am enjoying having the piano here) I'm still hoping that I get a 5 AM phone call asking if I want the day off work tomorrow. I should be near the top, if not AT the top, of the list since I have turned it down the last couple of times they have asked. I have coupons for Carter's, things to exchange at Kohl's, and more basketball games to attend...in addition to the things that were on my "to do" list for today (you know, the ones I decided NOT "to do") Well, I suppose I should head to bed just in case I do actually have to go to work tomorrow...even if I fall asleep in the next five minutes, I will be getting much less than the 10+ I have needed recently...of course, maybe being a couch potato all day is a substitute for a couple hours of sleep...maybe.

I read a couple chapters of the next book for the "Bloom" book club last night and was excited to find out that it is set in the town where I went to college...I think it will be a good book and I "may" actually participate in the discussions this time...
Good night.

Catching Up

I think I slept for more than 10 hours last night and then took just over a 3 hour nap this afternoon (after I got up and went to church). I could have slept all night long, but we were having our family Christmas this evening (it was supposed to be this afternoon, but my sister and brother-in-law were gracious enough to alter their plans and go to a movie while I was sleeping instead of going to one tonight). I paid someone my parents know from church $40 to clear my driveway tonight, so hopefully tomorrow I will be able to leave my house in my own car if I want. I am so grateful to have family and friends that were willing to chauffeur me everywhere I needed to go (mostly work!) the past four days, but it will be nice to become independent again. My house is a complete disaster since I have hardly been here. I need to thoroughly clean the kitchen floor after my coffee spill last week. I need to spot clean and vacuum the carpet in the living room after all the snow-covered shoes that have walked on it. I'm fairly certain I have clothes in the dryer (hopefully none in the washer!) I'm about to head to bed since I'm STILL tired even after all that sleep. I have tomorrow off, so hopefully I can catch up on some of those things that need to be done since I work on Tuesday (two days off after last week doesn't feel like enough...so, if I am offered the day off, I may take it!)

That's it...still tired, but not nearly as crabby (everyone is happy about that!)
Good night!

Where to begin?

So, I have no business being awake after 10:00 tonight. I am tired and crabby and don't even know where to begin to explain all that was "this week". Why I decided that working five 12-hour shifts in 7 days, a 2 hour meeting on another day, and a night with 3 1/2 hours of sleep was a good idea is beyond me. Of course, I may forget about this week when my pay check with all those extra hours comes...or I may still be recovering.

This week we had terrible weather...the worst in YEARS! People cancelled Christmas with family. Some nurses from my floor couldn't make it back to work today since some major roads are closed. There were blizzard-like conditions and the snow lasted for a long time. It is really not fun to have a white Christmas like that when you are a grown up and work at a place that does not close for the holiday. Let's just put it bluntly "it sucks". Ok, so I'm super lucky that my dad drove me to work yesterday morning, picked me up, and brought me back again today after I spent the night there. However, I'm not sure how I'm EVER going to get to leave my house in my car any time soon...

View from my front porch...nice.

Yep, my Jetta is definitely in that garage...

And that snow on the driveway is MUCH more than a "dusting"...

anyone want to come help shovel?!

Yeah, SO not fun...tomorrow morning will be interesting (my mom did say she would pick me up and take me to Mass, but hopefully I can also get a ride home so I can spend some time here before we do our family Christmas...after five 12-hour shifts this week, I REALLY just want to be home!)

And, since I'm already crabby and "ranting", how about that the snow definitely didn't make the experience of Christmas in the hospital any better. Only about half of the patients on my floor had parents come "visit" them yesterday. Yeah, Christmas in the hospital WITHOUT your mom or dad. Just imagine how much fun it is to be the nurse of the one, five, eight, ten year old patient who are just sad because their parents aren't there to celebrate Christmas with them. Okay, so I'm "sure" the parents were sad to miss Christmas too, but it was a rough day for all of us stuck in the hospital on the Blizzard Christmas of 2009...

I had noodles with cheese for dinner again tonight and really should have gone to bed hours ago...

I'm tired and crabby, but not NEARLY as cute as him, so I'd better catch some zzz's...it's going to take some muscle to clear that snow (oh, that reminds me that my dad high-centered his Highlander this morning when we were leaving and my multiple attempts to push it out of the snow bank were futile and left me with some pretty sore muscles...nice!)

Yeah, I'd better go to bed. Good night!

Merry Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas from Me to You :o)

It's Just Different

It's nearly 5:00 on Christmas Eve. I went to bed early again last night and slept for a very long time. I stayed in my pajamas until around 3:00 when I finally decided to shower (after I wrapped presents and shoveled my driveway). I made myself bow tie noodles and Parmesan cheese. I got a call at 5:00 this morning to see if I could come to work. We "staffed light" with hopes that we wouldn't have many patients. Instead, the hospital is full of sick kids who will spend Christmas there. I'll be there tomorrow doing what I can to try and make Christmas in the hospital "not suck"...yeah, good luck with that, right?!

Not to be a "Debbie Downer", but Christmas is just different these days...it is sort of hard to be joyful when I know of so many people who are hurting, so many kids who are sick, so many people who are missing loved ones. Of course, maybe that all will change in an hour when I head to my grandparents' house and experience Christmas with my nephew for the first time. Christmas IS so much more than a tree and decorations (although, I did get sad when I went searching for my Christmas cookie candles this morning and saw ALL the decorations that never made it out this year). It isn't about getting gifts, but about a gift that was given. Tonight, I'm going to be with those I love the most and that's what will make this Christmas special. I have so much to be thankful for...and I hope that I have, at least in some way "given this Christmas away" and have been "His hands, His feet, His love"

Merry Christmas.

What if I told you
You have the power
To give someone hope
Beyond their wildest dreams
What if I told you
It’s right there in your hands
In your hands

It’s hard to imagine
How something so small
Can make all the difference
Tear down the tallest wall
What if December
Looked different this year
What if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away

It’s feeding the hungry
Serving the poor
It’s telling the orphan
You’re not forgotten anymore
It’s doing what love does
Even when no one’s watching you

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away
For God so loved the world
That He gave His only Son
So we could be
His hands, His feet, His love
His love

What if I told you
You have the power
To give someone hope
Far beyond their wildest dreams
What if December
Looked different this year
Yah what if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there’s love in your heart
Don’t let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gifts you receive
When you give this Christmas away

Give this Christmas away
You have the power
Just give it away
Give it away
Give it away
This Christmas
Give it away
Give Christmas away
Give it away

In the Spirit

At around 10:30 this evening, I finally decided to at least put up my little tree. I didn't remember that I had left the lights on (and the bow that the "A-team mom" had put on the tree when she used it last year). So, it took less than five minutes to pull it out of the box, put it on my piano, and plug it in. Can't believe it took me until December 22 to do that, but it's up. I couldn't figure out how to take a good picture of it, so this is it...

Thankfully, this quote came in my "inbox" today, which made me feel like less of a "Scrooge"...

"It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you... yes, it is Christmas every time you smile at your brother and offer him your hand." ~Mother Teresa 1910-1997

I'm working tomorrow...they will probably call to see if I want the day off, but as of right now, I think I will go to work. Unfortunately, the forecast doesn't look very good for the rest of this week, so I am packing a bag with hopes I will not need to spend the night at the hospital (but at least I will be prepared if I have to). It actually may be tougher to get there on the 25-26 since the worst is supposed to hit on the 24th, but at least I live close to work (and my parents are willing to drive me in their vehicle with four-wheel drive if necessary)

Well, I'd better head to bed in case the bad weather hits while I'm asleep and I need to shovel before I go to work...hopefully not because that is not fun!

Good night.

I Just Might

Yep, I just might go to bed at 1000 tonight. No, I have not put up my tree. Yes, my house is still a mess (dishes in the sink, laundry still in the dryer, presents that need to be wrapped are scattered about). But, I just might not care about those things and head to bed anyway... Yesterday and today weren't THAT bad at work although they did have some pretty crazy/hectic moments (thank GOODNESS I work on a floor with awesome teamwork!) I had an opportunity to have the day off and thought about taking it, especially since I could have done a favor for my new friend, but decided to "save my date" for a time when I REALLY want the day off (like, a day when I don't want to drive in the snow and ice or have something fun that I will miss if I'm at work) I will probably get offered Wednesday off, but have not decided if I will take it or not (I could pay some bills with the amount of money I will make if I work four days this week including Christmas Day!)

I can hardly believe that Christmas is just a couple days away. It just doesn't feel like it. Heck, I wrote a post called "Just an Ordinary Day?" last year and in that post, I was smelling Christmas cookie candles and looking at a decorated Christmas tree with PRESENTS under it! Maybe, like my co-worker said last year, Christmas just isn't as exciting without kids...but, shouldn't I be able to make it exciting?! Why yes, I think I should, but why did it feel like such a chore to "dig out" my Christmas decorations that I just didn't bother?! Maybe if I go to bed at 1000, I just might feel up to decorating tomorrow so I don't feel like such a Scrooge...

I got this in a Christmas "ecard" and thought it was worth saving/sharing--
Work of Christmas Begins
"When the song of the angels is stilled,
when the star in the sky is gone,
when the kings and princes are home,
when the shepherds are back with the flocks,
then the work of
Christmas begins:
to find the lost,
to heal those broken
in spirit,
to feed the hungry,
to release the oppressed,
to rebuild the nations,
to bring peace among
all peoples,
to make a little music
with the heart...
And to radiate the
Light of Christ,
every day, in every way,
in all that we do
and in all that we say.
Then the work of
Christmas begins.
-- Howard Thurman, adapted

Good night.

Early to Bed

Well, it is nearly 8:30, but I honestly think I'm going to head to bed. My house remains a mess. I haven't looked for my Christmas cards so I can address and mail them. I have laundry in the dryer from...not sure when I did laundry...whenever that was. I'm surprised that I know today is Saturday. My nose is starting to be "drippy" and I've been sneezing, so hopefully some "extra sleep" will keep any potential "illness" away. I'm working five of the next seven days and believe I have a meeting on one of my days off (the only day I have off is Christmas Eve...unless I end up getting Monday or Wednesday off if we are over-staffed). The money will be helpful of course, but my health and well-being is definitely as/more important than money :o)

I actually cooked dinner, so as soon as I put away the leftovers, I'm off to bed.
Good night.

Filling My Bucket

It was a busier "day off" than I anticipated, but I did get a little bit of a nap this afternoon which helped :o)

I did go see my counselor this morning. I shared with her how crazy work has been, particularly the events of Tuesday. I let her know that I feel like I'm in a "funk" that I felt was at least partially due to my schedule, the stress, and the lack of time to eat/drink/sleep/exercise. Of course, she didn't let me leave it at that and asked me some question that I was unable to answer even though it SEEMED like an easy question (of course I can't remember it now, but I think it may have been "what I want most"...and, I do realize that the fact that I cannot remember something from earlier in the day is not very good!)

I am sure she tried to share today's "concept" with me previously because this kind of thing seems to be a "theme", but I think that today maybe she had a "breakthrough" (ha!). Okay, I think I need to "rewind"... I was sharing this and that because I like to talk and tell stories (and then I end up crying...yep, that's how it goes every time we meet, but it's good, the tears are okay!) Anyway, either I need things repeated more than once or I am someone who really likes analogies because her whole tiers/tears concept worked well for me as did the "bucket" picture from today. She suggested that all of the "mess" that has been going on has really "tipped my bucket" making me feel "funky" (okay, she didn't say "funky", I just added that!) She said I need to work on filling my own bucket. It isn't enough to enjoy the appreciation from others, or to fill my bucket with compliments (those are sometimes hard to take for me anyway). I need to fill my OWN bucket, and the stuff that comes from others is simply "extra" (which, to take the analogy further, could end up being the "leftovers" that keep my bucket from tipping over on days that really "shake things up") I AM a good person, but I don't really think about it that often (even typing those words "I AM a good person" caused tears to IMMEDIATELY fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks in a matter of seconds). I'm not sure why this is so hard for me to do...I guess maybe I have never wanted to appear boastful, conceited, arrogant...but for me to think to myself "wow, that was a really nice thing you just did" doesn't happen all that often. Sure, OTHER people will tell me that I do nice things, but I guess I need to learn to appreciate myself too.

So, my "homework" is to fill my bucket every day. She suggested I start with an "I am so glad I can..." or something along those lines. I was keeping coins in the above "bucket", but found a place for them and now this bucket will hold slips of paper. After wrapping a bunch of Christmas presents, feeling very proud of my "perfect" gifts, I wrote that I was a good gift-buyer and put the slip into my bucket.

Well, it's 1:30 and I definitely don't think I should have stayed up so late these days off! I only have Tuesday and Thursday off next week (and Tuesday I have a meeting and Thursday is Christmas Eve, so I will have things to do) so I think it is good to have a "plan" to take care of myself and try to keep my bucket full for my health, and the "health" of everyone in my path :o) Tomorrow, my mom is baking all day long and asked for help. So, I'll be doing some of that, but also taking my "new friend" shopping. I teased her that she is a "secret agent" because she found my blog, but surprisingly enough she was actually listening to all of my babbling and heard a good enough clue to find it ;o) I have asked her what she would like to be called here since I obviously can't use her name, but have gotten no suggestions...that could be dangerous, don't you think, leaving that in my hands?! "New friend" it is for now, I guess...or secret agent/super sleuth/detective...ha!

Good night.

Good Thing

Good thing I'm scheduled to see my counselor tomorrow. We skipped last week because she was snowed in (and it was the day I had my mom's car when my car was getting new tires). I still just feel "off" and hope that talking it out with an "outside" person helps. I'm not sure what it is...maybe that it doesn't feel like Christmas even though I've spent WAY too much money buying gifts (I love buying gifts for people, though, especially at Christmas :o) ) I think that I should just forget about putting up the tree at this point (unless I just use the little one from my apartment). I do, however, need to at least open the box of Christmas stuff to see if I bought any cards last year for this year because I can't remember. It also would be nice to get my Christmas Cookie scented candles out and burning :o) It also could be that I'm just worn out (plus I haven't been eating very well...I've never been one to let myself go hungry [which is quite obvious] but lately it has either been too much work to figure out what I want or I've been at work when there has been little time to eat...) plus I haven't been able to work out since I've been so busy (the woman who owns "my" Curves told me I need to come back...I think I've only worked out maybe three times in the past two months, maybe five times in the past three months) Or, maybe it's time for my monthly visitor...I don't really keep track, but suppose it could be close. In any case, it's a good thing I get to see the counselor in the morning!

I spent most of the day away from home again today between a morning meeting, delivering Christmas presents to the family my family adopted for Christmas (that was fun!), running errands, and choir practice. So, I'm thinking I should head to bed to try and get rid of Crabby McCrabby who is trying to take over (that's what I so kindly called one of the patients I had on Monday and Tuesday...that was one fussy baby!)

Good night.

Edited to add--So, I was getting ready for bed and remembered that I had Burger King for lunch, and have been drinking my coffee with "full fat" flavored cream, so I'm not exactly "starving"...and no one should worry about me developing a disorder. Okay, now that it is midnight I really should go to bed (I had to play a couple songs on my piano before getting ready for bed :o) )

Friends Reunite

I still don't think I'm "quite right", but today was lots better than the past couple have been! I had an appointment with the dermatologist this morning to get some bumps on my head checked out. I've had them for a while and they are just "there". They don't hurt or itch, they are just annoying. My sister does my hair and she thought they were getting bigger. I had two different residents from the family medicine clinic look at them and they told me they were inflamed hair follicles and one of them said I needed to wash my hair more or with different shampoo. I decided to go ahead and get them checked out by an "expert". My appointment was at 9:30 and I totally thought I knew where I was going because the address was "in my hood". I didn't realize that it was actually AT my hospital (well, in one of the connecting buildings) and walked out of the parking garage on the opposite side of the building so had to walk all the way around...I was just a couple minutes late, but the waiting room was FULL! After I found a seat, I thanked God that I haven't had to sit in waiting rooms like this many times, if ever! And, I tweeted and checked email on my phone and texted and waited. It seemed like FOREVER, but I got called back at 10:15 (thanks Nikki and Stephanie for "keeping me company" while I waited!). I was on my way to my car by 10:24 after the doctor took a 30 second (that is generous!) look at one of the bumps, told me it was a cyst that isn't bad, but he could cut them out if I wanted...I'll have to see how much, if any, my insurance would cover because if they aren't a problem, I don't want to pay a lot to have them fixed.

After my appointment, I went home to wait for a "friend" that I have been missing. I thought it would arrive "noonish", but it didn't until closer to 2:00...any guesses?!

Yep, my piano is back! I took piano lessons when I was younger from an old nun (who is STILL an old nun and now 98 years old!) I hated recitals and cried nearly every time we had one because I just couldn't memorize songs very well. I did get a trophy from the "Piano Olympics" one year though! I also took private lessons from the same nun in high school for some of my art credits (I may have cried about recitals then too!) I'm not a "pianist" by any means, but I do know how to read notes and my "skill" impresses people who have no musical background, but definitely not anyone with talent!

A couple years ago, my mom decided she was going to get rid of the piano. I was REALLY upset even though it had been a while since I had actually played it. The piano was MINE and I didn't want her to sell it...but I also wasn't in a place to have it at my house. My aunt didn't think my mom should get rid of something I wanted and came to my rescue. She paid to have it moved from my parents' house to hers to "store" until I was ready for it. Well, she was kind of ready to get rid of it since no one was playing it, but not in a super rush. I may have mentioned the "drama" when my mom informed me that the piano was not mine anyway because they paid for it and that my aunt was through keeping it for me (my aunt never said that, she would have kept it until I was ready!) Since my living room has a fresh coat of paint and rearranged furniture, and the rest of my house is starting to look like a "home", I was ready for this "friend" to join me. My aunt thinks it will be relaxing for me. After playing a few songs, I have to agree.

Financially, I wasn't QUITE ready to write that $175 check for the delivery fee, but it is what it is. They had to drive outside the city limits to get it and deal with the snow and steep front steps. It arrived safely and I just hope I don't bounce any checks between now and the next time I get paid because it could be close!

Ginger called me when I was outside helping with the piano, but I was able to return the call shortly there after. I can't remember the last time we even texted let alone facebook chatted or tweeted since things have been crazy for both of us. It was so wonderful to "reunite" with her...I think we both needed each other today! We actually talked for a little more than an hour and it was fabulous (can't wait to start planning my trip to visit her and her family!)

It was after 4:00 by the time I showered to get ready for dinner with friends. I was meeting my best friend from high school (well, one of my two best friends...the other one lives in Germany) and another girl we hung out with for "Happy Hour". A couple other girls from high school were invited, but ended up not being able to come. I was late getting to the restaurant which is pretty bad since both of them are moms, but I DID have a lot further to drive in rush hour traffic (I did get sidetracked with some text messaging while getting ready and by playing a few songs on my piano between showering and getting ready!)

The three of us had a nice visit and it was fun to "reunite" with high school friends :o) I hadn't eaten much all day (some how I messed up my macaroni and cheese for lunch and only ate a little bit of it) but still have no clue how half of a happy hour margarita (they usually don't make those as strong, right?!) made the room start spinning. It took quite a while for our food (we ended up with four different kids of sushi rolls and avocado egg rolls...yum!) so I stuck with water for a little while! Then, I had a glass of wine thinking I would be okay since I ate, it was over an extended period of time, and it REALLY was just two drinks. However, I didn't feel quite like myself when we were leaving and needed to go to the store near where my car was parked at some point, so decided just to go then. I made two laps around the store trying to make sure I really was okay before I got in my car to drive home...it was SO weird because there is no way I should have been the least bit tipsy from the alcohol, so maybe it was something else.

On my way home, I called a friend who has left two messages on my phone (and sent a Christmas card with a "where are you?!" message). When I listened to the first message, I thought it was so sweet because it sounded like she really wanted to hang out with me...I did one of those "aww, she LIKES me!" (I met this friend when we were doing supervised visits three years ago...and introduced me to "J" who I had kind of forgot about until now...I am SO bad!) It was really nice to "reunite" with her as well...I told her about my reaction to her calling me and wanting to hang out with me...apparently I make her laugh :o) SO sweet!

I was still feeling a little goofy when I got home, so Steph decided to call and see what THAT sounded like...it was nice to "reunite" (I guess that word works...sort of anyway!) with her too. I teased her about calling me an "old maid"...because she didn't REALLY call me an old maid, but now knows that the world does not end if you are still single when you turn thirty. ;o)

So, it turned out to be a really good day (I also "texted" with my sister earlier in the day which was SORT of a "reuniting" since I haven't talked to her in a while). I did feel the need to apologize to my new friend because I told her multiple times that I'm not a fan of wal-mart...that place is so overwhelming to me so I stick to the smaller stores. Well, I said it so many times that she decided there was no way she could ask me to take her there...I feel SO bad! Even though it wouldn't be my first (or second, or third) choice, I'm sure it would be MUCH better going with someone else (especially a friend!) She found someone else to take her this time, but I assured her that it wouldn't be a problem in the future and I will survive (not so say I won't encourage her to let me take her to Target or Kohl's or somewhere else...ha!) I definitely think I need to start paying more attention to my words because I said some things at work on Monday (and yesterday) that I am not proud of, and actually were pretty unkind. I don't like that feeling of regret when there is no taking back the words, so I really ought to think before I speak!

Well, it is nearly 2:00 and I'm not sure WHY I decided to stay up so late! I have a meeting in the morning, so maybe I can nap in the afternoon :o) And, I'm sure I will sit down on the bench continue to get reacquainted with my old friend :o)

Good night.

Appreciated

Warning--even though I found this quote "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." ~Oscar Wilde, this is going to be a "work rant" and one that I probably am only "safe" to write because, to my knowledge, there is nothing here to link me to where I work.

It's just after 11:00 and I feel like I have just now "recovered". Even still, I'm going to "rant away" because I think I will sleep better once everything is off my chest.

It has been SO crazy busy at work. I'm not sure what it is, but I can't remember the last time I could sit down for 10 minutes of piece and quiet. For weeks I have carried the same packet of oatmeal to and from work because there never was time to eat it. I bring a container of milk and a package of Carnation Instant Breakfast to have for "breakfast" and there have been days that it has been hard to even take the time to chug that (yesterday it was 12:30 by the time I could "drink my breakfast"). My favorite part of working on my floor is being able to talk to the families, maybe cuddle with a sick little one every once in a while. Recently, I haven't been able to do that and I suppose that could contribute to the "work funk". I guess I have also had a student working with me the past five weeks which has been a help at times, but also means that I need to do things a little differently (because, really, who wants to listen to me be a "Chatty Cathy"?!)

I briefly mentioned that there was a particular patient whose nurses ended up having to be assigned alphabetically on a rotating basis. My manager put this into effect because she cares so much about her staff and this family had become so horrendous to work with that people were dreading to come to work (while others refused to take their "turn"). They weren't ALWAYS terrible, and I had been fortunate to care for the child mostly on good days. The child was due to go home today after weeks of preparation. People had spent hours working to make sure it would be a smooth transition to home, all the "ducks were in a row", everyone was on the same page, and today would be "the day". Yesterday I semi-volunteered to take that on if someone who had never taken the child was "scheduled". Well, as it turned out, my "letter" was up anyway. Yay me! However, being naive, I honestly didn't think it would be "that bad". I take on complex discharges all the time...heck, I just did one yesterday! Plus, I had my student to help with the other two patients, right?!

So much for my "rainbows and daisies" plan because that SO did not happen! One of my patients had been really fussy for a couple days and the NP decided to run some extra tests which required a little bit of coordinating. My patient that was to go home needed labs drawn and coordination with the home health company which took nearly an hour. Then, my poor student has the worst IV luck of anyone I've ever met. Every.single.patient we had with a peripheral IV had it fall out during our shift and a new one had to be placed. I honestly don't think it had anything to do with her care, it just happened every.single.time and it was SO hard not to make it seem like I was upset with her because it wasn't like she TRIED to pull out IVs so the kids had to be stuck again, it just makes so much more work (and, of course, pain for the child...that's important to remember I suppose!) At noon, she noticed the IV was out...right in the middle of doctor's rounds, right when I was supposed to start the final medication before my "difficult" patient could go home. GREAT!

I had managed to drink my breakfast by 9:30, but by 1:15 my stomach was telling me that it was VERY hungry. By 1:45 the new IV we put in had already fallen out and I seriously was starting to feel sick because I was so tired and hungry...and the parents (of course) arrived shortly there after to pick up their child to go home. I didn't have the paperwork done yet, the pharmacist wasn't quite done with that part, and I NEEDED to eat. The dad muttered some comment about "us" knowing for weeks they were leaving today and everything should be done already. Well, some things just can't be done until the day of discharge and I DO have other patients with needs thankyouverymuch. I could feel the tears coming and knew I wouldn't be able to deal with getting yelled at without bursting into tears, so I went to lunch...it was 2:30 and the pharmacist had just wrapped up her portion that I still needed to review, so I "delegated" that task to my student.

Halfway through my lunch, I get a call to my phone that they were "ready to go". Seriously. I was angry, frustrated, tired, hungry, and so I just cried (oh yeah, they wanted lab results printed at this time too). I finished eating, pulled myself together, and grabbed the paperwork to finish making sure all was as it was supposed to be. When I finished, they literally were waiting by the door with their coats on. Come on, now, people, you have been in the hospital for MONTHS and you aren't going to give me 30 minutes to eat my freaking lunch?! Since I had "regrouped", I made them go BACK to their room to go over the instructions (I'm sure that royally pissed them off, but at that point, I really didn't care...especially since I heard that the dad was saying all sorts of nasty things while "waiting" for me...)

And then, they left...at 3:15...pretty sure without any thank yous...at least not to me. They didn't care that nearly an army of people worked together to make going home possible. They didn't care that it took me just over an hour to get everything organized once they got there (or that I'd done probably an hours worth of organizing BEFORE they got there). I think their lack of appreciation for anything is part of what led to the burn-out. It is much easier to work really hard and help people who appreciate the effort, but when you are constantly met with rudeness and unkindness, it completely takes the fun out of it.

But, they were gone...and the day did get better (although becoming that stressed and emotional took a great deal of energy...it took me quite a long time to stop feeling all jumbled up inside). The doctors who helped me with the discharge gave me many-a-thanks and even bought cookies for us thanking us for all our hard work. One of them told me she was really glad I was the nurse for this patient. My student gave me a nice thank-you note that I shared with my manager. The parents of my OTHER two patients were very sweet...and gracious. My manager told me that my name came up in a meeting with a bunch of the "higher ups" in regards to my participation on one of the committees...apparently I am representing our unit well and others are noticing, and showing their "appreciation".

Well, this took nearly an hour for me to sort out and "on paper" it's hard to see why I was such a mess, but it really was crappy. It is hard for me not to be able to please people and I hadn't prepared myself for the fact that they likely were not going to appreciate my efforts (or the efforts of others who did even more work than I did)...as if I would have been able to put forth half effort because that's all they "deserved"! My heart and soul are in my work and it definitely hurts when I am treated that way (okay, so I tried for 10 minutes to come up with a better way to end that sentence, but couldn't!)

Feeling appreciated is huge...and being unappreciated/under-appreciated is not at all fun. So, at the end of this day, after writing about the rough moments, I realize there were also some good things that happened today. Just because one family was awful, my day should not have been ruined...and it ended up being "salvageable", especially when I got to go to the Christmas party with patients and their families (usually I volunteer to help, but this year I had to work!)

On a couple different notes, I am excited for the second "Bloom" book club book. Even though I have a copy, I never did read the first one (Crazy Love). I purchased the second book a month ago, but have not started reading. I think I will plan to read along this time because this book sounds very interesting to me. From the looks of it, it is about two men from very different backgrounds who become friends...and it is a true story (hmm, maybe I should write a book...ha!) It is called "Same Kind of Different As Me"...and is currently on sale for $7.99 here.

And, something very exciting is happening at my house tomorrow! I haven't committed to putting up my Christmas decorations since it is already going to be the 16th, but maybe I will either before or after the "excitement" :o)

I have the next three days off (besides a meeting)...thank goodness!
Good night.

Live For Today

It's already 11:00 and I have to work in the morning so I will have to type fast. It was a SUPER crazy day at work and for much of the day I felt like I was in a "fog" or something because I didn't know what to do! It got started on the wrong foot because of a staff meeting that ran until 8:30. I seriously had fifty meds that were due at 9:00 and hadn't even really looked in on my patients before the meeting so I was WAY off and it took me a long time to get caught up and my head back on straight. Thank goodness for a very competent student who takes direction very well (I can be pretty bossy!) Maybe some things I could have done faster without a student, but I think she is more of a help than a hindrance. I just felt "off" all day...probably should have gone to bed earlier if I wanted to see if sleep would help that problem!

As I sat down to type this post, this day seemed to come "full-circle"... This morning as I was getting ready, the Natalie Grant song "Live for Today" came on my iPod. As I listened, I thought that it would make for a good blog post...and then I TOTALLY forgot until I was thinking about different things that happened today and my thoughts turned back to that song...weird! (or, not really...ha!)

During a short "break" while I waited with a patient inside when the family went to get the car, I checked my email on my phone. Oh how much I miss the days when I could actually check my email when I was at work...what am I saying, I miss the days when I could eat breakfast (I had my carnation instant breakfast at TWELVE-THIRTY!!) Craziness, just craziness. Anyway, I get emails when Stephanie updates her blog. I didn't know how much time I had, so skimmed through it and quickly noticed my name :o) It brought tears to my eyes reading the things she had written about me. I feel like I usually have a good memory, but I can't exactly remember when I started reading her blog, but it was after seeing her name on one of the "big blogs" that had a "MisterLinky" type thing. Pretty darn sure I "stalked" her blog for a bit before leaving a comment. She may have to fill in the rest of the details, but from the sounds of what she wrote today, God led us to each other at the perfect time. She is learning to "Live for Today" in this moment--"I'm coming to the conclusion that it is incredibly hard to be content when you feel miserable inside. My prayer daily is that God will open my heart to the incredible blessings He has placed around me and that He would allow me to live in the moment, not yearning for the future." (She also has learned that being single when you are 30 is NOT the end of the world...I am living proof of that!)

After I got off work from this crazy day, I spent nearly an hour and a half visiting my "new friend" (who still needs a "nick name" for this blog besides "new friend" because that will never work...I ought to have learned my lesson after calling the now-two-year-old "the baby"!) Pretty darn sure I near talked her ear off...my listening skills are still a work--in-progress ;o)

Then, I got home and found this quote in my "inbox":

Friend, do it this way - that is,
whatever you do in life,
do the very best you can
with both your heart and mind.

And if you do it that way,
the Power Of The Universe
will come to your assistance,
if your heart and mind are in Unity.

When one sits in the Hoop Of The People,
one must be responsible because
All of Creation is related.
And the hurt of one is the hurt of all.
And the honor of one is the honor of all.
And whatever we do affects everything in the universe.

If you do it that way - that is,
if you truly join your heart and mind
as One - whatever you ask for,
that's the Way It's Going To Be.

~Lakota Instructions for Living


It isn't EXACTLY "Live for Today", but I definitely think it fits with what has been going on the past week or so (my last two posts were about "Compassion" and "Helping People" for goodness sakes!)

Now, to remember this tomorrow when I feel myself getting crabby...I need to "focus on 'today', making every moment count, counting every single blessing"...that could be tough, but definitely worth trying :o)



Good night.

Helping People

I love that my last post was called "Compassion" and this one is "Helping People"...I'll have to remember how wonderful I felt during those times when the crabbiness tries to sneak back!

A little while back, one of the Spanish interpreters was talking to me about an event she was coordinating. She is also a photographer and there was a call for photographers to donate their time to take portraits of people who wouldn't normally get professional photographs...and set a "date". She told me to watch this video and said that I would want to do ANYTHING he told me to do (because he is cute...ha ha!)

She ended up coordinating pictures to be taken at five different locations. Pediatric patients/families from two different hospitals and a skilled nursing facility, single moms and their kids from a transitional program, and at a church that holds a lunch every Saturday for homeless/poor people in that neighborhood/community. What a GREAT idea! This video from the test-event made me cry.

I was a "photography assistant" and am thankful to Ginger that this wasn't my first time in this role ;o) I went with a photographer and we did four patients who were unable to leave their rooms. We had to go back to two of the rooms since we did individual patient photos before we realized the parents were planning to be there. She is a photographer who usually photographs weddings and steers clear of children, so she enjoyed that this was out of her comfort zone. She and I made a really good team because I was able to position the patients and fix blankets and sheets to cover tubes and lines. It was SO much fun! All total, 17 families were photographed which is great! I saw on the web site this evening that with only 43% of locations reporting, there were over 17,000 pictures taken, over 1400 photographers, and over 27o0 volunteers--awesome!

After I was done volunteering, I met up with my "new friends" (hmm, sounds like I could be mentioning them a bit here, so will have to come up with something to call them...ha!) so the mom could go to the store. She wanted to go to Wal-Mart, since she heard that was a good place. Well, I'm totally NOT a Wal-Mart girl (Super Wal-Mart especially scares me!), so I "compromised" with her. First, we went "shopping" at my house (I told her she had to have blind eyes to my messy house). I have been "storing" some laundry detergent, stain remover, and dryer sheets for the mom of my "A-team girl", but figured she would be more than okay that they were used by someone who could use them since they have been sitting in a basket under my stairs for quite some time. I tossed some wash cloths, pillow cases, microwavable bowls, a coffee mug, and an extra hair dryer into a laundry basket...it was really funny going from room to room seeing what I could give them. Of course, the two-year-old played in my play room for a little while and we had to bring one of the bigger toys with us in the car in order to get him to leave, but he was SO good!

After the shopping spree at my house, I brought her to Kohl's. I had a 15% off everything coupon plus a $10 off coupon, so it sounded like a good place to start for me. At the top of her list (after the things she found at my house) was clothes for the little one and I know that Kohl's sells Carter's brand and things there are ALWAYS on sale. She also wanted a pillow which you ALSO can get at Kohl's. She bought an egg crate mattress and spent just under $80 total which I think is impressive. From there, we went to a natural grill because they have been eating cafeteria food all week and realized that we eat lots of starchy, sugary, fatty foods...welcome to America, right?! We both got these yummy chicken and rice bowls and smoothies (funny that she wanted the one that caught my eye too!) and then headed to the grocery store. Going to the grocery store with someone who has never been in an American grocery store is a riot! She kept saying "Wow!" as we walked through the aisles...I couldn't stop laughing. Of course, the store has these ridiculously large marshmallows that even I said "Wow!" to when I first saw them. She couldn't BELIEVE the ice cream aisle and that you can buy a BUCKET of ice cream with a handle to carry it! Then, down the candy aisle, she was cracking up at a "massive" bag of M&Ms..."M&Ms for fifty people," she said. (I haven't written a sentence like that in a while...I hope it really does go "comma" then "end quote" because punctuation USED to be my deal!)

We had a nice visit as we shopped and ate and that two-year-old is SOOOO good! I'm sure this isn't the last time I will hang out with them. If all goes well, then they will be here for a while...they have a very sick child, so they definitely need prayers for "all to go well".

We talked some about "blogging" and she told me that I should have a blog...I told her that I DO have a "blog", but that only a couple people I know read it. I'm going back and forth on if I should give her the link. It isn't that this is a "secret" and I suppose if my family really wanted to read it, I would give them the link (I have wanted to dedicate an entire post to wondering about what would happen if my family, or anyone I see on a regular basis I guess, read this blog...) I have been "careful" and only have one patient's mom as a fb friend (and that child has not been a "patient" in quite some time) and plan to keep it that way. I do read HER blog, so should I not give her the opportunity to read mine if she would like? I'm not necessarily sure of the downside to at least giving her access to it, but want to "sleep on it" and definitely will set some sort of "ground rules"...

After I dropped them off, I met up with some photographers who participated in the event today. They were meeting after 4, so by the time I got there, it was just the photographer I know, one I met on Thursday, and another photographer who were left. The four of us "hung out" for quite a while. I'm usually really comfortable around new people and wasn't exactly UNcomfortable tonight, and I am glad I was being "social" but it was interesting for sure. (Stephanie, the next time we talk on the phone, if I wander away from listening, please remind me of this night...ha!) The male photographer pretty much talked the entire time. He was super nice and easy to talk to, but seriously, the photographer I know was able to get in a few words here and there, but the other girl and I pretty much just sat there. I feel like I pretty much know his life story...well, maybe not QUITE his life story, but lots of it--in case "you" are interested, his parents divorced when he was seven, his dad married a 23-year-old, he doesn't like his older sister and she ruined his younger sister's wedding, he has four kids and his wife had an affair with her best friend's husband and they are getting divorced, and there were some wedding photography stories thrown in there too...does that at all sound exhausting?! Boy do I hope that my story telling doesn't make people want to close their ears for a little while (or go to sleep!) I suppose I was the "outsider" and I'm sure he needed to talk about his recent marital status changes (I do feel bad for the poor guy...he truly sounds like he loves his kids and is trying to go about everything in a way that will make it less tough for the kids). However, once I was there, I didn't really have an "out" since I don't REALLY know the one person I "know", and it would have been rude to leave mid-sentence (or mid-story) without some sort of excuse. When 10:30 came, I politely excused myself :o)

And, now it is after 1:30 and I HAVE to be at church by 10:15 so we can practice Christmas songs before Mass. Practice was canceled on Thursday, so we need to rehearse as much as we can since Christmas will be here before I know it (and I'm thinking maybe I WON'T put up a tree this year?!)

It's officially Nikki's birthday (since I stayed awake so long!) Hope you have a great day!
Good night.

Compassion

Yesterday was another crazy day, but one definitely worth documenting. I didn't have a chance last night since I was so tired. I definitely enjoyed my day off, much like I did on Tuesday (scheduling myself to work five out of seven days was not very good planning...yes, "normal" jobs have people working five out of seven days, but typically those are not 12.5-13.5 hour days!)

Yesterday, I received this quote in my inbox and think it suits yesterday very well ("funny" how that seems to happen quite often with my quotes of the day!)--
"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." - Leo Rosten

The weather Tuesday night just got worse (recall, I was "snowed in" on Tuesday...and thankful that I wasn't "snowed in" at work because some nurses were!) and I had already arranged for my mom to pick me up and bring me to work.

I felt badly that she and my dad would have to get up extra early to shovel their cars out in time to come pick me up, so I got ready as quickly as I could and began to shovel my driveway until she arrived. It was REALLY cold out there and there was no way my Jetta would have made it out of the neighborhood with all of the drifts and the snow in the roads being halfway to my knees. My mom said she would come get me at 6:30/6:40. I missed a call from her at 6:33 and called her back shortly after when she said she was on her way. By 6:45, I was wondering where she was, and found out that she had gotten stuck getting out of their neighborhood by a car blocking the road. I called work and let them know my ride was stuck so I was going to be late. My mom got my dad to help her get out of the neighborhood, grabbed some shovels and came to get me. (I had gone inside to wait after my mom said I shouldn't be standing outside on the corner waiting for them in the freezing cold!) I ended up running down the block through drifts of snow to catch my ride, and ended up arriving on my floor around 7:15, so not TOO late considering the crazy weather! My floor had a good number of nurses come in, and my manager's husband went and picked up two nurses otherwise it would have been even more of a crazy day...which is hard to imagine considering how crazy busy it ended up being!

I have mentioned that I have a "special" hospital, so can't really put many details here. We get patients from all over the place and it is great to be able to help so many people. This week, I learned we got a patient from very far away (if you know the name of my softball team, that is the only "hint" I can give). And, if you have been reading long, you know that ministering to my patients and their families is something I love being able to do...and one of the reasons I think God is keeping me a content, happy single person--I have a "ministry" that I love and likely wouldn't be able to do things in this capacity if my life was different. Anyway, I "decided" that I wanted to meet this family and take care of their kid and show them a little U.S. love :o) I was thrilled that they had "saved" this patient for me (as well as another little patient that I ADORE...you would think I would have had a better day, but it was still crazy...I wasn't NEARLY as crabby as I was on Monday though!)

These parents are super sweet and so it was super easy to let them know I would help them with whatever they needed to get them settled (could you IMAGINE traveling super far away with your super sick child, knowing where NOTHING is, or even how people in that country do things, or say things, or what they eat, or anything?! I definitely could not!) Of course, they were limited in what they could bring, and they figured they could buy winter things when they got here...little did they know they would be arriving to a BLIZZARD! Even people who LIVE here were crabby about that! They wanted to go to Target to get some things, so I ran to my locker, grabbed my coat, hat, and gloves, handed them to the mom and said "here, wear these so you don't freeze" (I was going to offer her my boots, but her shoes looked good enough.) When she returned, I asked if the coat fit, then I had one exactly like it at home in black rather than in cream...and which one did she want? She said she'd take the black since it would "go with everything".

So, I called my dad since either he or my mom was going to pick me up. I mentioned the whole coat thing and he told me he had this really warm coat that he didn't like because of the way the collar is so he would gladly give it to the dad. He and my mom had already planned to go shovel my walk/driveway (have I mentioned recently that my parents are great?!) since he was taking my car to get new tires today and leaving my mom's car for me in case I needed to go somewhere. I told them that the black coat with the fur was draped over a kitchen chair, so they could grab that and I could run it up to the mom along with the coat from my dad. Not only did my mom bring the coats, but also a couple stocking caps and long-sleeved shirts. (My mom had also sent me with cheese soup in the morning to give to someone who didn't have time to get lunch...I ended up giving it to a patient's mom who was feeling down who said that cheese soup was her FAVORITE--awesome!)

I am glad that the delivering of the coat went that way because when I got home, I looked at the empty kitchen chair and thought, "I just gave away a coat that I wore YESTERDAY!" I didn't give away a coat that I haven't worn in three years. I didn't give away a coat I didn't really like. I gave away a coat that I actually was using...I'm not sure I would have been able to do that if I had thought more about it. It was so spur-of-the moment that I didn't have time to think about what I was doing. But, now I will think about that moment, and that mom, every time I go into my closet looking for that coat. I pretty much someone the coat off my back and, honestly, that feels fabulous!

Sure, I am not always so caring. In fact, I have lots of crabby moments, and times when I am impatient and selfish, but am so grateful for all the opportunities I have been given to show compassion, to make a difference, to live. And, even though the quote says it a little differently, I think that to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate brings happiness...at least it does for me.
"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." - Leo Rosten

Good night.

Snowed in

The last time I wrote, I was "preparing myself for the worst" with a co-workers feelings about her patient assignment. Well, as soon as I arrived at work, that feeling went away since "her" patient had gone to the ICU overnight and she just had to laugh at it being her "turn" for the "assigned" patient. Then, we became aware that one of our co-workers had been in a bad car accident the night prior and the thoughts quickly turned to that (oh how much I hate to drive, ESPECIALLY in the winter!). It was a super crazy and not very fun day for me...maybe because it was my third day in a row and I was just tired, but I was really crabby and couldn't wait to get home! Of course, it was one of those shifts that would never end and I want to say it was nearly 8:30 by the time I clocked out and was on my way home. That is a LONG day!

I was in bed by 10:15 and just slept and slept until finally rolling out of bed around 12:15. And, even then, it was simply rolling out of bed and onto the couch. I hardly left the couch all day long, even though I REALLY wanted to be productive. At one point during the day, I was in tears because I just could NOT bring myself to do anything and just felt terrible. And so, I just sat staring at my computer, watching facebook, twitter, and google reader updates with the television on as the snow fell outside. I wasn't about to leave the house with that much snow coming down--there was no way my Jetta would make it out of my neighborhood. I missed the baby shower at work for my "favorite" charge nurse. I didn't have any eggs so couldn't make pumpkin bars or do any kind of baking really. For some reason I still have yet to find motivation to get out any Christmas decorations. It was a "snow day" for the teachers and students who probably enjoyed having an unexpected day off. But, I guess for me, it was simply a "break" after three days that somehow drained me of any energy and motivation. And so, I did nothing...well, I SUPPOSE I did run the dishwasher (and put away "most" of the dishes), did a load of laundry (and a half...still have some in the washer that I'll probably regret not drying), and did one round of shoveling (that was some HEAVY snow...I was going to go back out, but there was supposed to be about 5 inches more after I shoveled, so it didn't seem worth the energy). But, I mostly felt like a bump on a log...in a "lovely" little funk.

And, it's back to work tomorrow for more "fun". My mom is going to pick me up and bring me to work so I don't have to figure out how to drive my Jetta in nine inches of blowing snow out of an unplowed neighborhood up multiple hills (or walk the 1.2 miles to work in blizzard conditions). I hope I get good patients and have a calm day...I really need one of those!

I still am planning on writing a Christmas letter. I think enough happened in 2009 that I would feel okay doing one of those. I typically write personal notes, but my hand will get tired writing about everything to everyone! Last year, I made a collage to include with my card (I think I sent a picture of my house the year before that since I bought it from my parents January 2, 2007). I had a hard time picking pictures for my collage and have still not decided if this will be the final version. I made it in Picasa and it is sized 5 x 7. I have not figured out how much it will cost to print that many 5 x 7s (or know what it will actually look like when printed in 5x7...plus, 5x7 is pretty huge to send to people for a Christmas card, so it will be interesting to see if it prints okay in 4x6...) So, this is the "draft" (it is actually draft #2 because after I made the first one, I realized there were no pictures of my sister or my brother-in-law...oops!)

Starting from upper left, going clockwise, I will try to "explain" the pictures (and keep them in order...there are a lot of pictures since it was hard to choose!)--me and my "friend from Curves" after my performance in June; my mom, my parents' neighbors, and me in the limo in Vegas; a picture Ginger took of me in Chicago; me and my nephew at the pumpkin patch; my brother-in-law and nephew at the pumpkin patch; me and my nephew at Thanksgiving; my aunt, uncle, and me in Vegas; my cousins and me when I went to my cousin's graduation in May; the picture my mom took at the concert last week; me with my high school friend at her baby's Baptism; me and a work friend in Montreal; Ginger, Lauren, and me on the boat tour in Chicago; Ginger and me when she came to visit; me turning 30 in Vegas; my sister and me on my sister's birthday; me on the day my nephew was born; the middle picture is me with some girlfriends from high school (I'm contemplating taking that one out since it would make the other pictures bigger, but haven't decided yet)...

Any thoughts...pictures maybe I should have included, but didn't, pictures that could be taken out, is it an overwhelming number of pictures?? I went out of town four times this year, so wanted to include those. I didn't include any pictures from any of our many extended family gatherings, so maybe I should change some things around to include those...or, this is MY Christmas collage, so it should be about ME?! In that case, it would be fun to have pictures of all of my friends, but I think this includes "most" of the friends I saw this year...for reference, last year's collage is in this post.

Well, it's 11:30 and even though I showered tonight, I still need to get up earlier that usual so maybe I can shovel a little bit (or at least make SURE I am ready when my mom gets here to pick me up!)

Hoping my "funk" is gone by the morning.
Good night.

Perked Up

Well, I guess moving the paper white to the TV next to it's "friend" was a good idea because it definitely perked up today! Maybe it WILL bloom this week!

I mentioned somewhere that my extended family adopted one of the families whose children receive care at my hospital. A couple of our families have "informally" and "formally" adopted families in the past. However, this year, one of my aunts included everyone, or at least invited everyone to participate, and everyone was on board (remember, there were over 30 people at Thanksgiving!) A group of them went to Target on the day after Thanksgiving (I ended up not going which is a long story, but I am glad that I stood my ground, and actually think it is better that I can say that these gifts were not "from me", they were from my family.) Not sure if you can tell exactly how much stuff is there, but it is a lot! We discussed giving them the warm clothes they asked for prior to Christmas because they may need them in the mean time. That was left up to me and because I was taking care of one of the kids this weekend, I decided to bring the mom's coat and the dad's coat/gloves/hat today. I used an interpreter and hopefully they understood that these were not gifts from me, they were from my family because they wanted to adopt a family and their family was chosen...I may have to keep telling them that because I wouldn't want them to misinterpret things. Since it snowed today (BOOOOO!), I may bring the mom her boots tomorrow. The dad was so appreciative and it wouldn't surprise me if he is wearing the coat the next time I see him...it was really cute!

So, yes it snowed, and I'm not at all happy about that. Yes, this area of the country gets snow. Yes, I have been living here almost my entire life. However, I really am not a big fan of driving when the weather is perfect. Throw some snow and ice and I absolutely HATE it! Big vehicles scare me, so I have my little Jetta and it does well for me...except it is still frightens me to drive and I always have troubles getting up my driveway into the garage (I'd link to THAT picture, but need to go to bed!). I don't think there was three inches on the ground and I seriously wanted to cry when I was driving the 1.2 miles home from work. I'm hearing predictions of a foot of snow one night this week...not looking forward to that at all!

I'm also not looking forward to work tomorrow...and not just because I will have to get up earlier and get ready faster to make sure I have plenty of time to get to work. I'm actually almost dreading it (well, I am dreading the potential snowy drive, just sort of dreading the rest of the day). One of the nurses who has been there FOREVER, "always" takes care of this one patient. And, she also has refused to take care of a long-term patient. Well, I have been taking care of "her" patient for the past two days and am not going to change my patient assignment for her. And, the patient she has been refusing is now on a rotating nurse schedule that goes in alphabetical order so everyone gets their "turn" (you know there are issues when people are "forced" to take care of you on a rotating bases...just sayin'). Tomorrow it is her turn...for the first time ever. So, it is a double whammy and I have a feeling she is going to be royally ticked and, even though most of the time she is a VERY nice person, she may not be very pleasant tomorrow. I am trying to prepare myself for the worst and I am HOPING it doesn't end up being bad at all. I mean, she KNOWS her day is coming, but I have a feeling she could have some major issues with me having "her" patient and not willing to change (and, I'm hoping I won't regret not changing since I suppose the kid could also be quite ticked that I am the nurse and not her...)

Well, I was going to try to go to bed early since I have to get up earlier, but that isn't happening I guess. I am off this next weekend, so have to work Monday-Wednesday-Friday (after working Saturday and Sunday). It could be a yucky week...or I could choose (at least try to) for it to not be yucky and try to find non-yucky things every day :o)

Good night.

What the heck?!

So, yesterday I posted about how well my one paper white bulb is doing. That one is on my TV and I commented about how it "reached" for the sunlight. I mentioned that the one on my kitchen table wasn't doing so hot. Well, I realized today how really not-so-hot it was doing. It is like falling over and going pretty crazy...and maybe not as close to blooming as I thought!

So, I moved it to the top of the TV near the other one with hopes its friend will take care of it and the little bit of additional sun will "perk it up". Okay, so maybe these things aren't "fool proof"...what the heck?! That poor paper white bulb :o(

Today was pretty busy at work and I have to work the next two, so probably should head to bed. I had a super fun conversation with a "new-ish" friend after work tonight...I was, however, reminded that I'm really not as great of a listener as I "claim" to be...pay attention=most of the time, talk=a LOT, but listen=not so great. Next time, well, I, uh, better not make any promises I may not be able to keep...ha!

Good night!