I'm still not quite sure what to make of all that "went down". It came out of no where and then kind of "went away" just as quickly...and I know it could come back just as fast.
I tried calling her mom on Thursday night, but it went straight to voice mail. I left a message saying I wanted to make sure she was okay. That was true, but I also wanted to know when/if she was leaving town to visit her mom (and what she decided to do with her dependent children during that time). She ended up texting me last night to tell me she couldn't get the money to go. It makes me sad that her first thought was to go to her mom when she is the sole parent for multiple dependent children. It wasn't the fact that she had kids to care for that make it so she couldn't leave, it was because no one could give her money to go. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes having to "pick" between a sick parent and your kids, but I do know there are just some things you can't do when you have parenting responsibilities of your own.
So, since she isn't leaving town, the teen won't be staying here while she is gone (she stayed with me in November when her mom was gone for a week). That means I'll have to do other things to check in with the teen on how things are progressing at home.
I texted her on Thursday night after I couldn't reach her mom and she didn't answer, so that was a little bit stressful. She finally texted me yesterday morning to say they were off school yesterday. I texted her during my lunch break to see how things were going. She said she took 3 tests on Thursday and was hopeful that maybe she would be able to get some of her D's and F's to C's. I feel like our conversation on Tuesday was really helpful when she texted me this (edited for clarity...darn texting messing up our grammar and spelling!) "I just got the attitude now that while things at home may not be the best, I'm going to try and do good in school. I can't control how my mom feels, but I can control my grades. So, I'm trying to get back on track and do what I can. I'm really starting to put study hall to use so I won't have as much work at home." I'm so proud of her! I do wish she would have come to me before things got this bad out of hand with her grades, but it is what it is and now she is getting the help she needs (I hope!)
I texted her today to let her know I was off and she could come here to study if she wanted. She said she didn't have anything to study (hard to believe except she DID have 3 tests on Thursday and no school yesterday). However, she said I could talk to her mom about picking her up after school this Thursday (my only day off since I am not working next weekend and have meetings/appointments all day Tuesday).
As much as I'd love to "rescue" her, I need to remember that reunification means that her family is all together. So, if they are "safe", I (probably) should encourage her to make it work. She always maintained that she wanted to go home and if I can continue to help make that successful, that is what I need to do (even though it is really hard). Of course, if she decides that she really cannot live in that environment, I will support her and help her with what needs to happen to get her where she wants to be.
Today was my only day off in a stretch of 5 days (two on, one off, two on). So, I didn't set an alarm and didn't get up until the phone rang at 10...second time this week I did that! I wasn't really productive today, but oh well. I did go to lunch with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. My sister is 37 1/2 weeks and was doing "everything" she could to have the baby today, but it didn't work ;) He could come any day now, though, and that will be so fun!
Good night.
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