Worth Repeating

I was talking to Kristy on facebook the other day and she shared that November 15, 2007 was the day they found out their fourth son's brain was not growing as it should (she wrote about the significance of that date, and today in this post). Out of curiosity, I flipped back in my blog to see what I was doing on that day two years ago. What I found was not at all what I expected...not sure what I expected, but definitely not that! Even though I knew nothing about them, nothing about what they would be facing, I'm thinking some of my prayers that day were meant for them. That day, two years ago, I attended a Thanksgiving retreat. I will be attending my "third annual" Thanksgiving retreat this coming Thursday and am really looking forward to that.

Re-reading that post last night was so interesting to me. Apparently I was having a tough time emotionally and that retreat was the getaway I needed. I still struggle with some of the things I wrote about then, but reading about where I was then and how much that experience taught me was a nice perspective.

Since that post was so interesting, I was curious about last year's November 15th post. Now, that one wasn't NEARLY as thought-provoking, not at ALL. (I'll link to it, but pretty much all I wrote about in that post was the fact that I couldn't stop eating all day...exciting post, I know!) However, when I was flipping through posts, I found that on November 13, 2008 (my 400th post!), Kristy changed her blog-header to show there was going to be another Baby Bolte :o)

I also found this post/story written around the same time that I thought was worth repeating. I would never call myself a "gifted writer", but every once in a while I come up with some things that make sense ;o) I liked the perspective I wrote about here (and still believe it to be true) so will post it in it's entirety.
Originally posted November 11, 2008

Bearing Crosses

Today, a friend shared a story she read recently that really spoke to her (she obviously was touched by it enough to share it with me!) She may end up sharing the story as well, but I think she would be okay if I do too.

Not sure if I will tell it as well as she did, but here it is:
There was a man who was carrying this HUGE cross. He did not think he could carry it any longer. So, he told God he just couldn't do it any more. God told the man he could go into a room full of crosses and pick a different one to carry. When the man entered the room, he saw TONS of crosses, REALLY big ones. Finally, way in the back he found a small cross. He told God that he wanted to choose that one. God told the man it was the same one he had left behind.

Wow!

She then told me how this story impacted her and really put things into perspective. For me, it put things into perspective, but in a different way.

My own cross is SO small. I don't know why God has blessed me like that, but it is true. In fact, on most days, I could probably carry my cross in one hand, sometimes maybe as easily as a potato chip between two fingers. Of course, it may have taken me a while to realize how blessed I am, but the whole time I was listening to the story, this is where my mind went. For "whatever reason" (I have an idea or two!), right now in my life, God has decided to give me a small cross. I know He can choose to change that at any moment, and I will learn to be okay with it if that happens (or at least find some way to deal with whatever comes my way! He has also decided to bless me with wonderful people in my life!)

Even though this story really put things into perspective for me in a concrete way today, I think deep down I already knew this. Because God has given me such a little cross, I have an amazing opportunity to help make the crosses of others feel a little lighter. I can BE a "stretcher bearer". I can "carry mats". I can catch people from falling, or pick them up if they do, putting my cross in my pocket if I need both hands... I can, because He has done this for me. He has blessed me, so that I may be able to bless others.

This is the most wonderful feeling and it just brings tears to my eyes. Some people say I have been given a "gift". If that is indeed the case, then "by golly" I'm going to use it! :o) What I do know is that I have been blessed beyond measure. Sometimes I don't even consider what I do as blessing people, because I really just do what comes natural, or "feels right". If, however, that feels like a blessing to them and I can pay forward some of what I have been blessed with, then that is "bonus".

In any case, gift or not, I am who I am because God made me this way, and has given me so many people to teach me how to love and care for others. He has given me people to remind me to find blessings in the little things, and perspective on how great my life truly is.

Prayers to all those people who are feeling their cross is too hard to bear, that they may be blessed with someone to help lighten the load. Prayers too that they know Jesus is always there.

Good night.

Just a year has passed since I first wrote that, but I have been given SO many blessings since then. I can't even count on one hand (maybe not even on two hands!) the number of VERY special people He has brought into my life since then! He has continued to give me the opportunity to bless others, and I am so very grateful to have that "gift". I love that I wrote "I am who I am" because that is one of the "themes" of my counseling sessions...being comfortable and happy with who I am enough not to feel the need to "defend" myself.

Well, I have tomorrow off and really need to do some work things...they won't take long at all if I stay focused! I also want to start painting my living room so it is done before my cousins come to stay with me next week. So, I should head to bed.
Good night (2009 version!)