I Just Might

Yep, I just might go to bed at 1000 tonight. No, I have not put up my tree. Yes, my house is still a mess (dishes in the sink, laundry still in the dryer, presents that need to be wrapped are scattered about). But, I just might not care about those things and head to bed anyway... Yesterday and today weren't THAT bad at work although they did have some pretty crazy/hectic moments (thank GOODNESS I work on a floor with awesome teamwork!) I had an opportunity to have the day off and thought about taking it, especially since I could have done a favor for my new friend, but decided to "save my date" for a time when I REALLY want the day off (like, a day when I don't want to drive in the snow and ice or have something fun that I will miss if I'm at work) I will probably get offered Wednesday off, but have not decided if I will take it or not (I could pay some bills with the amount of money I will make if I work four days this week including Christmas Day!)

I can hardly believe that Christmas is just a couple days away. It just doesn't feel like it. Heck, I wrote a post called "Just an Ordinary Day?" last year and in that post, I was smelling Christmas cookie candles and looking at a decorated Christmas tree with PRESENTS under it! Maybe, like my co-worker said last year, Christmas just isn't as exciting without kids...but, shouldn't I be able to make it exciting?! Why yes, I think I should, but why did it feel like such a chore to "dig out" my Christmas decorations that I just didn't bother?! Maybe if I go to bed at 1000, I just might feel up to decorating tomorrow so I don't feel like such a Scrooge...

I got this in a Christmas "ecard" and thought it was worth saving/sharing--
Work of Christmas Begins
"When the song of the angels is stilled,
when the star in the sky is gone,
when the kings and princes are home,
when the shepherds are back with the flocks,
then the work of
Christmas begins:
to find the lost,
to heal those broken
in spirit,
to feed the hungry,
to release the oppressed,
to rebuild the nations,
to bring peace among
all peoples,
to make a little music
with the heart...
And to radiate the
Light of Christ,
every day, in every way,
in all that we do
and in all that we say.
Then the work of
Christmas begins.
-- Howard Thurman, adapted

Good night.

Early to Bed

Well, it is nearly 8:30, but I honestly think I'm going to head to bed. My house remains a mess. I haven't looked for my Christmas cards so I can address and mail them. I have laundry in the dryer from...not sure when I did laundry...whenever that was. I'm surprised that I know today is Saturday. My nose is starting to be "drippy" and I've been sneezing, so hopefully some "extra sleep" will keep any potential "illness" away. I'm working five of the next seven days and believe I have a meeting on one of my days off (the only day I have off is Christmas Eve...unless I end up getting Monday or Wednesday off if we are over-staffed). The money will be helpful of course, but my health and well-being is definitely as/more important than money :o)

I actually cooked dinner, so as soon as I put away the leftovers, I'm off to bed.
Good night.

Filling My Bucket

It was a busier "day off" than I anticipated, but I did get a little bit of a nap this afternoon which helped :o)

I did go see my counselor this morning. I shared with her how crazy work has been, particularly the events of Tuesday. I let her know that I feel like I'm in a "funk" that I felt was at least partially due to my schedule, the stress, and the lack of time to eat/drink/sleep/exercise. Of course, she didn't let me leave it at that and asked me some question that I was unable to answer even though it SEEMED like an easy question (of course I can't remember it now, but I think it may have been "what I want most"...and, I do realize that the fact that I cannot remember something from earlier in the day is not very good!)

I am sure she tried to share today's "concept" with me previously because this kind of thing seems to be a "theme", but I think that today maybe she had a "breakthrough" (ha!). Okay, I think I need to "rewind"... I was sharing this and that because I like to talk and tell stories (and then I end up crying...yep, that's how it goes every time we meet, but it's good, the tears are okay!) Anyway, either I need things repeated more than once or I am someone who really likes analogies because her whole tiers/tears concept worked well for me as did the "bucket" picture from today. She suggested that all of the "mess" that has been going on has really "tipped my bucket" making me feel "funky" (okay, she didn't say "funky", I just added that!) She said I need to work on filling my own bucket. It isn't enough to enjoy the appreciation from others, or to fill my bucket with compliments (those are sometimes hard to take for me anyway). I need to fill my OWN bucket, and the stuff that comes from others is simply "extra" (which, to take the analogy further, could end up being the "leftovers" that keep my bucket from tipping over on days that really "shake things up") I AM a good person, but I don't really think about it that often (even typing those words "I AM a good person" caused tears to IMMEDIATELY fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks in a matter of seconds). I'm not sure why this is so hard for me to do...I guess maybe I have never wanted to appear boastful, conceited, arrogant...but for me to think to myself "wow, that was a really nice thing you just did" doesn't happen all that often. Sure, OTHER people will tell me that I do nice things, but I guess I need to learn to appreciate myself too.

So, my "homework" is to fill my bucket every day. She suggested I start with an "I am so glad I can..." or something along those lines. I was keeping coins in the above "bucket", but found a place for them and now this bucket will hold slips of paper. After wrapping a bunch of Christmas presents, feeling very proud of my "perfect" gifts, I wrote that I was a good gift-buyer and put the slip into my bucket.

Well, it's 1:30 and I definitely don't think I should have stayed up so late these days off! I only have Tuesday and Thursday off next week (and Tuesday I have a meeting and Thursday is Christmas Eve, so I will have things to do) so I think it is good to have a "plan" to take care of myself and try to keep my bucket full for my health, and the "health" of everyone in my path :o) Tomorrow, my mom is baking all day long and asked for help. So, I'll be doing some of that, but also taking my "new friend" shopping. I teased her that she is a "secret agent" because she found my blog, but surprisingly enough she was actually listening to all of my babbling and heard a good enough clue to find it ;o) I have asked her what she would like to be called here since I obviously can't use her name, but have gotten no suggestions...that could be dangerous, don't you think, leaving that in my hands?! "New friend" it is for now, I guess...or secret agent/super sleuth/detective...ha!

Good night.

Good Thing

Good thing I'm scheduled to see my counselor tomorrow. We skipped last week because she was snowed in (and it was the day I had my mom's car when my car was getting new tires). I still just feel "off" and hope that talking it out with an "outside" person helps. I'm not sure what it is...maybe that it doesn't feel like Christmas even though I've spent WAY too much money buying gifts (I love buying gifts for people, though, especially at Christmas :o) ) I think that I should just forget about putting up the tree at this point (unless I just use the little one from my apartment). I do, however, need to at least open the box of Christmas stuff to see if I bought any cards last year for this year because I can't remember. It also would be nice to get my Christmas Cookie scented candles out and burning :o) It also could be that I'm just worn out (plus I haven't been eating very well...I've never been one to let myself go hungry [which is quite obvious] but lately it has either been too much work to figure out what I want or I've been at work when there has been little time to eat...) plus I haven't been able to work out since I've been so busy (the woman who owns "my" Curves told me I need to come back...I think I've only worked out maybe three times in the past two months, maybe five times in the past three months) Or, maybe it's time for my monthly visitor...I don't really keep track, but suppose it could be close. In any case, it's a good thing I get to see the counselor in the morning!

I spent most of the day away from home again today between a morning meeting, delivering Christmas presents to the family my family adopted for Christmas (that was fun!), running errands, and choir practice. So, I'm thinking I should head to bed to try and get rid of Crabby McCrabby who is trying to take over (that's what I so kindly called one of the patients I had on Monday and Tuesday...that was one fussy baby!)

Good night.

Edited to add--So, I was getting ready for bed and remembered that I had Burger King for lunch, and have been drinking my coffee with "full fat" flavored cream, so I'm not exactly "starving"...and no one should worry about me developing a disorder. Okay, now that it is midnight I really should go to bed (I had to play a couple songs on my piano before getting ready for bed :o) )

Friends Reunite

I still don't think I'm "quite right", but today was lots better than the past couple have been! I had an appointment with the dermatologist this morning to get some bumps on my head checked out. I've had them for a while and they are just "there". They don't hurt or itch, they are just annoying. My sister does my hair and she thought they were getting bigger. I had two different residents from the family medicine clinic look at them and they told me they were inflamed hair follicles and one of them said I needed to wash my hair more or with different shampoo. I decided to go ahead and get them checked out by an "expert". My appointment was at 9:30 and I totally thought I knew where I was going because the address was "in my hood". I didn't realize that it was actually AT my hospital (well, in one of the connecting buildings) and walked out of the parking garage on the opposite side of the building so had to walk all the way around...I was just a couple minutes late, but the waiting room was FULL! After I found a seat, I thanked God that I haven't had to sit in waiting rooms like this many times, if ever! And, I tweeted and checked email on my phone and texted and waited. It seemed like FOREVER, but I got called back at 10:15 (thanks Nikki and Stephanie for "keeping me company" while I waited!). I was on my way to my car by 10:24 after the doctor took a 30 second (that is generous!) look at one of the bumps, told me it was a cyst that isn't bad, but he could cut them out if I wanted...I'll have to see how much, if any, my insurance would cover because if they aren't a problem, I don't want to pay a lot to have them fixed.

After my appointment, I went home to wait for a "friend" that I have been missing. I thought it would arrive "noonish", but it didn't until closer to 2:00...any guesses?!

Yep, my piano is back! I took piano lessons when I was younger from an old nun (who is STILL an old nun and now 98 years old!) I hated recitals and cried nearly every time we had one because I just couldn't memorize songs very well. I did get a trophy from the "Piano Olympics" one year though! I also took private lessons from the same nun in high school for some of my art credits (I may have cried about recitals then too!) I'm not a "pianist" by any means, but I do know how to read notes and my "skill" impresses people who have no musical background, but definitely not anyone with talent!

A couple years ago, my mom decided she was going to get rid of the piano. I was REALLY upset even though it had been a while since I had actually played it. The piano was MINE and I didn't want her to sell it...but I also wasn't in a place to have it at my house. My aunt didn't think my mom should get rid of something I wanted and came to my rescue. She paid to have it moved from my parents' house to hers to "store" until I was ready for it. Well, she was kind of ready to get rid of it since no one was playing it, but not in a super rush. I may have mentioned the "drama" when my mom informed me that the piano was not mine anyway because they paid for it and that my aunt was through keeping it for me (my aunt never said that, she would have kept it until I was ready!) Since my living room has a fresh coat of paint and rearranged furniture, and the rest of my house is starting to look like a "home", I was ready for this "friend" to join me. My aunt thinks it will be relaxing for me. After playing a few songs, I have to agree.

Financially, I wasn't QUITE ready to write that $175 check for the delivery fee, but it is what it is. They had to drive outside the city limits to get it and deal with the snow and steep front steps. It arrived safely and I just hope I don't bounce any checks between now and the next time I get paid because it could be close!

Ginger called me when I was outside helping with the piano, but I was able to return the call shortly there after. I can't remember the last time we even texted let alone facebook chatted or tweeted since things have been crazy for both of us. It was so wonderful to "reunite" with her...I think we both needed each other today! We actually talked for a little more than an hour and it was fabulous (can't wait to start planning my trip to visit her and her family!)

It was after 4:00 by the time I showered to get ready for dinner with friends. I was meeting my best friend from high school (well, one of my two best friends...the other one lives in Germany) and another girl we hung out with for "Happy Hour". A couple other girls from high school were invited, but ended up not being able to come. I was late getting to the restaurant which is pretty bad since both of them are moms, but I DID have a lot further to drive in rush hour traffic (I did get sidetracked with some text messaging while getting ready and by playing a few songs on my piano between showering and getting ready!)

The three of us had a nice visit and it was fun to "reunite" with high school friends :o) I hadn't eaten much all day (some how I messed up my macaroni and cheese for lunch and only ate a little bit of it) but still have no clue how half of a happy hour margarita (they usually don't make those as strong, right?!) made the room start spinning. It took quite a while for our food (we ended up with four different kids of sushi rolls and avocado egg rolls...yum!) so I stuck with water for a little while! Then, I had a glass of wine thinking I would be okay since I ate, it was over an extended period of time, and it REALLY was just two drinks. However, I didn't feel quite like myself when we were leaving and needed to go to the store near where my car was parked at some point, so decided just to go then. I made two laps around the store trying to make sure I really was okay before I got in my car to drive home...it was SO weird because there is no way I should have been the least bit tipsy from the alcohol, so maybe it was something else.

On my way home, I called a friend who has left two messages on my phone (and sent a Christmas card with a "where are you?!" message). When I listened to the first message, I thought it was so sweet because it sounded like she really wanted to hang out with me...I did one of those "aww, she LIKES me!" (I met this friend when we were doing supervised visits three years ago...and introduced me to "J" who I had kind of forgot about until now...I am SO bad!) It was really nice to "reunite" with her as well...I told her about my reaction to her calling me and wanting to hang out with me...apparently I make her laugh :o) SO sweet!

I was still feeling a little goofy when I got home, so Steph decided to call and see what THAT sounded like...it was nice to "reunite" (I guess that word works...sort of anyway!) with her too. I teased her about calling me an "old maid"...because she didn't REALLY call me an old maid, but now knows that the world does not end if you are still single when you turn thirty. ;o)

So, it turned out to be a really good day (I also "texted" with my sister earlier in the day which was SORT of a "reuniting" since I haven't talked to her in a while). I did feel the need to apologize to my new friend because I told her multiple times that I'm not a fan of wal-mart...that place is so overwhelming to me so I stick to the smaller stores. Well, I said it so many times that she decided there was no way she could ask me to take her there...I feel SO bad! Even though it wouldn't be my first (or second, or third) choice, I'm sure it would be MUCH better going with someone else (especially a friend!) She found someone else to take her this time, but I assured her that it wouldn't be a problem in the future and I will survive (not so say I won't encourage her to let me take her to Target or Kohl's or somewhere else...ha!) I definitely think I need to start paying more attention to my words because I said some things at work on Monday (and yesterday) that I am not proud of, and actually were pretty unkind. I don't like that feeling of regret when there is no taking back the words, so I really ought to think before I speak!

Well, it is nearly 2:00 and I'm not sure WHY I decided to stay up so late! I have a meeting in the morning, so maybe I can nap in the afternoon :o) And, I'm sure I will sit down on the bench continue to get reacquainted with my old friend :o)

Good night.

Appreciated

Warning--even though I found this quote "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." ~Oscar Wilde, this is going to be a "work rant" and one that I probably am only "safe" to write because, to my knowledge, there is nothing here to link me to where I work.

It's just after 11:00 and I feel like I have just now "recovered". Even still, I'm going to "rant away" because I think I will sleep better once everything is off my chest.

It has been SO crazy busy at work. I'm not sure what it is, but I can't remember the last time I could sit down for 10 minutes of piece and quiet. For weeks I have carried the same packet of oatmeal to and from work because there never was time to eat it. I bring a container of milk and a package of Carnation Instant Breakfast to have for "breakfast" and there have been days that it has been hard to even take the time to chug that (yesterday it was 12:30 by the time I could "drink my breakfast"). My favorite part of working on my floor is being able to talk to the families, maybe cuddle with a sick little one every once in a while. Recently, I haven't been able to do that and I suppose that could contribute to the "work funk". I guess I have also had a student working with me the past five weeks which has been a help at times, but also means that I need to do things a little differently (because, really, who wants to listen to me be a "Chatty Cathy"?!)

I briefly mentioned that there was a particular patient whose nurses ended up having to be assigned alphabetically on a rotating basis. My manager put this into effect because she cares so much about her staff and this family had become so horrendous to work with that people were dreading to come to work (while others refused to take their "turn"). They weren't ALWAYS terrible, and I had been fortunate to care for the child mostly on good days. The child was due to go home today after weeks of preparation. People had spent hours working to make sure it would be a smooth transition to home, all the "ducks were in a row", everyone was on the same page, and today would be "the day". Yesterday I semi-volunteered to take that on if someone who had never taken the child was "scheduled". Well, as it turned out, my "letter" was up anyway. Yay me! However, being naive, I honestly didn't think it would be "that bad". I take on complex discharges all the time...heck, I just did one yesterday! Plus, I had my student to help with the other two patients, right?!

So much for my "rainbows and daisies" plan because that SO did not happen! One of my patients had been really fussy for a couple days and the NP decided to run some extra tests which required a little bit of coordinating. My patient that was to go home needed labs drawn and coordination with the home health company which took nearly an hour. Then, my poor student has the worst IV luck of anyone I've ever met. Every.single.patient we had with a peripheral IV had it fall out during our shift and a new one had to be placed. I honestly don't think it had anything to do with her care, it just happened every.single.time and it was SO hard not to make it seem like I was upset with her because it wasn't like she TRIED to pull out IVs so the kids had to be stuck again, it just makes so much more work (and, of course, pain for the child...that's important to remember I suppose!) At noon, she noticed the IV was out...right in the middle of doctor's rounds, right when I was supposed to start the final medication before my "difficult" patient could go home. GREAT!

I had managed to drink my breakfast by 9:30, but by 1:15 my stomach was telling me that it was VERY hungry. By 1:45 the new IV we put in had already fallen out and I seriously was starting to feel sick because I was so tired and hungry...and the parents (of course) arrived shortly there after to pick up their child to go home. I didn't have the paperwork done yet, the pharmacist wasn't quite done with that part, and I NEEDED to eat. The dad muttered some comment about "us" knowing for weeks they were leaving today and everything should be done already. Well, some things just can't be done until the day of discharge and I DO have other patients with needs thankyouverymuch. I could feel the tears coming and knew I wouldn't be able to deal with getting yelled at without bursting into tears, so I went to lunch...it was 2:30 and the pharmacist had just wrapped up her portion that I still needed to review, so I "delegated" that task to my student.

Halfway through my lunch, I get a call to my phone that they were "ready to go". Seriously. I was angry, frustrated, tired, hungry, and so I just cried (oh yeah, they wanted lab results printed at this time too). I finished eating, pulled myself together, and grabbed the paperwork to finish making sure all was as it was supposed to be. When I finished, they literally were waiting by the door with their coats on. Come on, now, people, you have been in the hospital for MONTHS and you aren't going to give me 30 minutes to eat my freaking lunch?! Since I had "regrouped", I made them go BACK to their room to go over the instructions (I'm sure that royally pissed them off, but at that point, I really didn't care...especially since I heard that the dad was saying all sorts of nasty things while "waiting" for me...)

And then, they left...at 3:15...pretty sure without any thank yous...at least not to me. They didn't care that nearly an army of people worked together to make going home possible. They didn't care that it took me just over an hour to get everything organized once they got there (or that I'd done probably an hours worth of organizing BEFORE they got there). I think their lack of appreciation for anything is part of what led to the burn-out. It is much easier to work really hard and help people who appreciate the effort, but when you are constantly met with rudeness and unkindness, it completely takes the fun out of it.

But, they were gone...and the day did get better (although becoming that stressed and emotional took a great deal of energy...it took me quite a long time to stop feeling all jumbled up inside). The doctors who helped me with the discharge gave me many-a-thanks and even bought cookies for us thanking us for all our hard work. One of them told me she was really glad I was the nurse for this patient. My student gave me a nice thank-you note that I shared with my manager. The parents of my OTHER two patients were very sweet...and gracious. My manager told me that my name came up in a meeting with a bunch of the "higher ups" in regards to my participation on one of the committees...apparently I am representing our unit well and others are noticing, and showing their "appreciation".

Well, this took nearly an hour for me to sort out and "on paper" it's hard to see why I was such a mess, but it really was crappy. It is hard for me not to be able to please people and I hadn't prepared myself for the fact that they likely were not going to appreciate my efforts (or the efforts of others who did even more work than I did)...as if I would have been able to put forth half effort because that's all they "deserved"! My heart and soul are in my work and it definitely hurts when I am treated that way (okay, so I tried for 10 minutes to come up with a better way to end that sentence, but couldn't!)

Feeling appreciated is huge...and being unappreciated/under-appreciated is not at all fun. So, at the end of this day, after writing about the rough moments, I realize there were also some good things that happened today. Just because one family was awful, my day should not have been ruined...and it ended up being "salvageable", especially when I got to go to the Christmas party with patients and their families (usually I volunteer to help, but this year I had to work!)

On a couple different notes, I am excited for the second "Bloom" book club book. Even though I have a copy, I never did read the first one (Crazy Love). I purchased the second book a month ago, but have not started reading. I think I will plan to read along this time because this book sounds very interesting to me. From the looks of it, it is about two men from very different backgrounds who become friends...and it is a true story (hmm, maybe I should write a book...ha!) It is called "Same Kind of Different As Me"...and is currently on sale for $7.99 here.

And, something very exciting is happening at my house tomorrow! I haven't committed to putting up my Christmas decorations since it is already going to be the 16th, but maybe I will either before or after the "excitement" :o)

I have the next three days off (besides a meeting)...thank goodness!
Good night.

Live For Today

It's already 11:00 and I have to work in the morning so I will have to type fast. It was a SUPER crazy day at work and for much of the day I felt like I was in a "fog" or something because I didn't know what to do! It got started on the wrong foot because of a staff meeting that ran until 8:30. I seriously had fifty meds that were due at 9:00 and hadn't even really looked in on my patients before the meeting so I was WAY off and it took me a long time to get caught up and my head back on straight. Thank goodness for a very competent student who takes direction very well (I can be pretty bossy!) Maybe some things I could have done faster without a student, but I think she is more of a help than a hindrance. I just felt "off" all day...probably should have gone to bed earlier if I wanted to see if sleep would help that problem!

As I sat down to type this post, this day seemed to come "full-circle"... This morning as I was getting ready, the Natalie Grant song "Live for Today" came on my iPod. As I listened, I thought that it would make for a good blog post...and then I TOTALLY forgot until I was thinking about different things that happened today and my thoughts turned back to that song...weird! (or, not really...ha!)

During a short "break" while I waited with a patient inside when the family went to get the car, I checked my email on my phone. Oh how much I miss the days when I could actually check my email when I was at work...what am I saying, I miss the days when I could eat breakfast (I had my carnation instant breakfast at TWELVE-THIRTY!!) Craziness, just craziness. Anyway, I get emails when Stephanie updates her blog. I didn't know how much time I had, so skimmed through it and quickly noticed my name :o) It brought tears to my eyes reading the things she had written about me. I feel like I usually have a good memory, but I can't exactly remember when I started reading her blog, but it was after seeing her name on one of the "big blogs" that had a "MisterLinky" type thing. Pretty darn sure I "stalked" her blog for a bit before leaving a comment. She may have to fill in the rest of the details, but from the sounds of what she wrote today, God led us to each other at the perfect time. She is learning to "Live for Today" in this moment--"I'm coming to the conclusion that it is incredibly hard to be content when you feel miserable inside. My prayer daily is that God will open my heart to the incredible blessings He has placed around me and that He would allow me to live in the moment, not yearning for the future." (She also has learned that being single when you are 30 is NOT the end of the world...I am living proof of that!)

After I got off work from this crazy day, I spent nearly an hour and a half visiting my "new friend" (who still needs a "nick name" for this blog besides "new friend" because that will never work...I ought to have learned my lesson after calling the now-two-year-old "the baby"!) Pretty darn sure I near talked her ear off...my listening skills are still a work--in-progress ;o)

Then, I got home and found this quote in my "inbox":

Friend, do it this way - that is,
whatever you do in life,
do the very best you can
with both your heart and mind.

And if you do it that way,
the Power Of The Universe
will come to your assistance,
if your heart and mind are in Unity.

When one sits in the Hoop Of The People,
one must be responsible because
All of Creation is related.
And the hurt of one is the hurt of all.
And the honor of one is the honor of all.
And whatever we do affects everything in the universe.

If you do it that way - that is,
if you truly join your heart and mind
as One - whatever you ask for,
that's the Way It's Going To Be.

~Lakota Instructions for Living


It isn't EXACTLY "Live for Today", but I definitely think it fits with what has been going on the past week or so (my last two posts were about "Compassion" and "Helping People" for goodness sakes!)

Now, to remember this tomorrow when I feel myself getting crabby...I need to "focus on 'today', making every moment count, counting every single blessing"...that could be tough, but definitely worth trying :o)



Good night.

Helping People

I love that my last post was called "Compassion" and this one is "Helping People"...I'll have to remember how wonderful I felt during those times when the crabbiness tries to sneak back!

A little while back, one of the Spanish interpreters was talking to me about an event she was coordinating. She is also a photographer and there was a call for photographers to donate their time to take portraits of people who wouldn't normally get professional photographs...and set a "date". She told me to watch this video and said that I would want to do ANYTHING he told me to do (because he is cute...ha ha!)

She ended up coordinating pictures to be taken at five different locations. Pediatric patients/families from two different hospitals and a skilled nursing facility, single moms and their kids from a transitional program, and at a church that holds a lunch every Saturday for homeless/poor people in that neighborhood/community. What a GREAT idea! This video from the test-event made me cry.

I was a "photography assistant" and am thankful to Ginger that this wasn't my first time in this role ;o) I went with a photographer and we did four patients who were unable to leave their rooms. We had to go back to two of the rooms since we did individual patient photos before we realized the parents were planning to be there. She is a photographer who usually photographs weddings and steers clear of children, so she enjoyed that this was out of her comfort zone. She and I made a really good team because I was able to position the patients and fix blankets and sheets to cover tubes and lines. It was SO much fun! All total, 17 families were photographed which is great! I saw on the web site this evening that with only 43% of locations reporting, there were over 17,000 pictures taken, over 1400 photographers, and over 27o0 volunteers--awesome!

After I was done volunteering, I met up with my "new friends" (hmm, sounds like I could be mentioning them a bit here, so will have to come up with something to call them...ha!) so the mom could go to the store. She wanted to go to Wal-Mart, since she heard that was a good place. Well, I'm totally NOT a Wal-Mart girl (Super Wal-Mart especially scares me!), so I "compromised" with her. First, we went "shopping" at my house (I told her she had to have blind eyes to my messy house). I have been "storing" some laundry detergent, stain remover, and dryer sheets for the mom of my "A-team girl", but figured she would be more than okay that they were used by someone who could use them since they have been sitting in a basket under my stairs for quite some time. I tossed some wash cloths, pillow cases, microwavable bowls, a coffee mug, and an extra hair dryer into a laundry basket...it was really funny going from room to room seeing what I could give them. Of course, the two-year-old played in my play room for a little while and we had to bring one of the bigger toys with us in the car in order to get him to leave, but he was SO good!

After the shopping spree at my house, I brought her to Kohl's. I had a 15% off everything coupon plus a $10 off coupon, so it sounded like a good place to start for me. At the top of her list (after the things she found at my house) was clothes for the little one and I know that Kohl's sells Carter's brand and things there are ALWAYS on sale. She also wanted a pillow which you ALSO can get at Kohl's. She bought an egg crate mattress and spent just under $80 total which I think is impressive. From there, we went to a natural grill because they have been eating cafeteria food all week and realized that we eat lots of starchy, sugary, fatty foods...welcome to America, right?! We both got these yummy chicken and rice bowls and smoothies (funny that she wanted the one that caught my eye too!) and then headed to the grocery store. Going to the grocery store with someone who has never been in an American grocery store is a riot! She kept saying "Wow!" as we walked through the aisles...I couldn't stop laughing. Of course, the store has these ridiculously large marshmallows that even I said "Wow!" to when I first saw them. She couldn't BELIEVE the ice cream aisle and that you can buy a BUCKET of ice cream with a handle to carry it! Then, down the candy aisle, she was cracking up at a "massive" bag of M&Ms..."M&Ms for fifty people," she said. (I haven't written a sentence like that in a while...I hope it really does go "comma" then "end quote" because punctuation USED to be my deal!)

We had a nice visit as we shopped and ate and that two-year-old is SOOOO good! I'm sure this isn't the last time I will hang out with them. If all goes well, then they will be here for a while...they have a very sick child, so they definitely need prayers for "all to go well".

We talked some about "blogging" and she told me that I should have a blog...I told her that I DO have a "blog", but that only a couple people I know read it. I'm going back and forth on if I should give her the link. It isn't that this is a "secret" and I suppose if my family really wanted to read it, I would give them the link (I have wanted to dedicate an entire post to wondering about what would happen if my family, or anyone I see on a regular basis I guess, read this blog...) I have been "careful" and only have one patient's mom as a fb friend (and that child has not been a "patient" in quite some time) and plan to keep it that way. I do read HER blog, so should I not give her the opportunity to read mine if she would like? I'm not necessarily sure of the downside to at least giving her access to it, but want to "sleep on it" and definitely will set some sort of "ground rules"...

After I dropped them off, I met up with some photographers who participated in the event today. They were meeting after 4, so by the time I got there, it was just the photographer I know, one I met on Thursday, and another photographer who were left. The four of us "hung out" for quite a while. I'm usually really comfortable around new people and wasn't exactly UNcomfortable tonight, and I am glad I was being "social" but it was interesting for sure. (Stephanie, the next time we talk on the phone, if I wander away from listening, please remind me of this night...ha!) The male photographer pretty much talked the entire time. He was super nice and easy to talk to, but seriously, the photographer I know was able to get in a few words here and there, but the other girl and I pretty much just sat there. I feel like I pretty much know his life story...well, maybe not QUITE his life story, but lots of it--in case "you" are interested, his parents divorced when he was seven, his dad married a 23-year-old, he doesn't like his older sister and she ruined his younger sister's wedding, he has four kids and his wife had an affair with her best friend's husband and they are getting divorced, and there were some wedding photography stories thrown in there too...does that at all sound exhausting?! Boy do I hope that my story telling doesn't make people want to close their ears for a little while (or go to sleep!) I suppose I was the "outsider" and I'm sure he needed to talk about his recent marital status changes (I do feel bad for the poor guy...he truly sounds like he loves his kids and is trying to go about everything in a way that will make it less tough for the kids). However, once I was there, I didn't really have an "out" since I don't REALLY know the one person I "know", and it would have been rude to leave mid-sentence (or mid-story) without some sort of excuse. When 10:30 came, I politely excused myself :o)

And, now it is after 1:30 and I HAVE to be at church by 10:15 so we can practice Christmas songs before Mass. Practice was canceled on Thursday, so we need to rehearse as much as we can since Christmas will be here before I know it (and I'm thinking maybe I WON'T put up a tree this year?!)

It's officially Nikki's birthday (since I stayed awake so long!) Hope you have a great day!
Good night.

Compassion

Yesterday was another crazy day, but one definitely worth documenting. I didn't have a chance last night since I was so tired. I definitely enjoyed my day off, much like I did on Tuesday (scheduling myself to work five out of seven days was not very good planning...yes, "normal" jobs have people working five out of seven days, but typically those are not 12.5-13.5 hour days!)

Yesterday, I received this quote in my inbox and think it suits yesterday very well ("funny" how that seems to happen quite often with my quotes of the day!)--
"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." - Leo Rosten

The weather Tuesday night just got worse (recall, I was "snowed in" on Tuesday...and thankful that I wasn't "snowed in" at work because some nurses were!) and I had already arranged for my mom to pick me up and bring me to work.

I felt badly that she and my dad would have to get up extra early to shovel their cars out in time to come pick me up, so I got ready as quickly as I could and began to shovel my driveway until she arrived. It was REALLY cold out there and there was no way my Jetta would have made it out of the neighborhood with all of the drifts and the snow in the roads being halfway to my knees. My mom said she would come get me at 6:30/6:40. I missed a call from her at 6:33 and called her back shortly after when she said she was on her way. By 6:45, I was wondering where she was, and found out that she had gotten stuck getting out of their neighborhood by a car blocking the road. I called work and let them know my ride was stuck so I was going to be late. My mom got my dad to help her get out of the neighborhood, grabbed some shovels and came to get me. (I had gone inside to wait after my mom said I shouldn't be standing outside on the corner waiting for them in the freezing cold!) I ended up running down the block through drifts of snow to catch my ride, and ended up arriving on my floor around 7:15, so not TOO late considering the crazy weather! My floor had a good number of nurses come in, and my manager's husband went and picked up two nurses otherwise it would have been even more of a crazy day...which is hard to imagine considering how crazy busy it ended up being!

I have mentioned that I have a "special" hospital, so can't really put many details here. We get patients from all over the place and it is great to be able to help so many people. This week, I learned we got a patient from very far away (if you know the name of my softball team, that is the only "hint" I can give). And, if you have been reading long, you know that ministering to my patients and their families is something I love being able to do...and one of the reasons I think God is keeping me a content, happy single person--I have a "ministry" that I love and likely wouldn't be able to do things in this capacity if my life was different. Anyway, I "decided" that I wanted to meet this family and take care of their kid and show them a little U.S. love :o) I was thrilled that they had "saved" this patient for me (as well as another little patient that I ADORE...you would think I would have had a better day, but it was still crazy...I wasn't NEARLY as crabby as I was on Monday though!)

These parents are super sweet and so it was super easy to let them know I would help them with whatever they needed to get them settled (could you IMAGINE traveling super far away with your super sick child, knowing where NOTHING is, or even how people in that country do things, or say things, or what they eat, or anything?! I definitely could not!) Of course, they were limited in what they could bring, and they figured they could buy winter things when they got here...little did they know they would be arriving to a BLIZZARD! Even people who LIVE here were crabby about that! They wanted to go to Target to get some things, so I ran to my locker, grabbed my coat, hat, and gloves, handed them to the mom and said "here, wear these so you don't freeze" (I was going to offer her my boots, but her shoes looked good enough.) When she returned, I asked if the coat fit, then I had one exactly like it at home in black rather than in cream...and which one did she want? She said she'd take the black since it would "go with everything".

So, I called my dad since either he or my mom was going to pick me up. I mentioned the whole coat thing and he told me he had this really warm coat that he didn't like because of the way the collar is so he would gladly give it to the dad. He and my mom had already planned to go shovel my walk/driveway (have I mentioned recently that my parents are great?!) since he was taking my car to get new tires today and leaving my mom's car for me in case I needed to go somewhere. I told them that the black coat with the fur was draped over a kitchen chair, so they could grab that and I could run it up to the mom along with the coat from my dad. Not only did my mom bring the coats, but also a couple stocking caps and long-sleeved shirts. (My mom had also sent me with cheese soup in the morning to give to someone who didn't have time to get lunch...I ended up giving it to a patient's mom who was feeling down who said that cheese soup was her FAVORITE--awesome!)

I am glad that the delivering of the coat went that way because when I got home, I looked at the empty kitchen chair and thought, "I just gave away a coat that I wore YESTERDAY!" I didn't give away a coat that I haven't worn in three years. I didn't give away a coat I didn't really like. I gave away a coat that I actually was using...I'm not sure I would have been able to do that if I had thought more about it. It was so spur-of-the moment that I didn't have time to think about what I was doing. But, now I will think about that moment, and that mom, every time I go into my closet looking for that coat. I pretty much someone the coat off my back and, honestly, that feels fabulous!

Sure, I am not always so caring. In fact, I have lots of crabby moments, and times when I am impatient and selfish, but am so grateful for all the opportunities I have been given to show compassion, to make a difference, to live. And, even though the quote says it a little differently, I think that to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate brings happiness...at least it does for me.
"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." - Leo Rosten

Good night.

Snowed in

The last time I wrote, I was "preparing myself for the worst" with a co-workers feelings about her patient assignment. Well, as soon as I arrived at work, that feeling went away since "her" patient had gone to the ICU overnight and she just had to laugh at it being her "turn" for the "assigned" patient. Then, we became aware that one of our co-workers had been in a bad car accident the night prior and the thoughts quickly turned to that (oh how much I hate to drive, ESPECIALLY in the winter!). It was a super crazy and not very fun day for me...maybe because it was my third day in a row and I was just tired, but I was really crabby and couldn't wait to get home! Of course, it was one of those shifts that would never end and I want to say it was nearly 8:30 by the time I clocked out and was on my way home. That is a LONG day!

I was in bed by 10:15 and just slept and slept until finally rolling out of bed around 12:15. And, even then, it was simply rolling out of bed and onto the couch. I hardly left the couch all day long, even though I REALLY wanted to be productive. At one point during the day, I was in tears because I just could NOT bring myself to do anything and just felt terrible. And so, I just sat staring at my computer, watching facebook, twitter, and google reader updates with the television on as the snow fell outside. I wasn't about to leave the house with that much snow coming down--there was no way my Jetta would make it out of my neighborhood. I missed the baby shower at work for my "favorite" charge nurse. I didn't have any eggs so couldn't make pumpkin bars or do any kind of baking really. For some reason I still have yet to find motivation to get out any Christmas decorations. It was a "snow day" for the teachers and students who probably enjoyed having an unexpected day off. But, I guess for me, it was simply a "break" after three days that somehow drained me of any energy and motivation. And so, I did nothing...well, I SUPPOSE I did run the dishwasher (and put away "most" of the dishes), did a load of laundry (and a half...still have some in the washer that I'll probably regret not drying), and did one round of shoveling (that was some HEAVY snow...I was going to go back out, but there was supposed to be about 5 inches more after I shoveled, so it didn't seem worth the energy). But, I mostly felt like a bump on a log...in a "lovely" little funk.

And, it's back to work tomorrow for more "fun". My mom is going to pick me up and bring me to work so I don't have to figure out how to drive my Jetta in nine inches of blowing snow out of an unplowed neighborhood up multiple hills (or walk the 1.2 miles to work in blizzard conditions). I hope I get good patients and have a calm day...I really need one of those!

I still am planning on writing a Christmas letter. I think enough happened in 2009 that I would feel okay doing one of those. I typically write personal notes, but my hand will get tired writing about everything to everyone! Last year, I made a collage to include with my card (I think I sent a picture of my house the year before that since I bought it from my parents January 2, 2007). I had a hard time picking pictures for my collage and have still not decided if this will be the final version. I made it in Picasa and it is sized 5 x 7. I have not figured out how much it will cost to print that many 5 x 7s (or know what it will actually look like when printed in 5x7...plus, 5x7 is pretty huge to send to people for a Christmas card, so it will be interesting to see if it prints okay in 4x6...) So, this is the "draft" (it is actually draft #2 because after I made the first one, I realized there were no pictures of my sister or my brother-in-law...oops!)

Starting from upper left, going clockwise, I will try to "explain" the pictures (and keep them in order...there are a lot of pictures since it was hard to choose!)--me and my "friend from Curves" after my performance in June; my mom, my parents' neighbors, and me in the limo in Vegas; a picture Ginger took of me in Chicago; me and my nephew at the pumpkin patch; my brother-in-law and nephew at the pumpkin patch; me and my nephew at Thanksgiving; my aunt, uncle, and me in Vegas; my cousins and me when I went to my cousin's graduation in May; the picture my mom took at the concert last week; me with my high school friend at her baby's Baptism; me and a work friend in Montreal; Ginger, Lauren, and me on the boat tour in Chicago; Ginger and me when she came to visit; me turning 30 in Vegas; my sister and me on my sister's birthday; me on the day my nephew was born; the middle picture is me with some girlfriends from high school (I'm contemplating taking that one out since it would make the other pictures bigger, but haven't decided yet)...

Any thoughts...pictures maybe I should have included, but didn't, pictures that could be taken out, is it an overwhelming number of pictures?? I went out of town four times this year, so wanted to include those. I didn't include any pictures from any of our many extended family gatherings, so maybe I should change some things around to include those...or, this is MY Christmas collage, so it should be about ME?! In that case, it would be fun to have pictures of all of my friends, but I think this includes "most" of the friends I saw this year...for reference, last year's collage is in this post.

Well, it's 11:30 and even though I showered tonight, I still need to get up earlier that usual so maybe I can shovel a little bit (or at least make SURE I am ready when my mom gets here to pick me up!)

Hoping my "funk" is gone by the morning.
Good night.

Perked Up

Well, I guess moving the paper white to the TV next to it's "friend" was a good idea because it definitely perked up today! Maybe it WILL bloom this week!

I mentioned somewhere that my extended family adopted one of the families whose children receive care at my hospital. A couple of our families have "informally" and "formally" adopted families in the past. However, this year, one of my aunts included everyone, or at least invited everyone to participate, and everyone was on board (remember, there were over 30 people at Thanksgiving!) A group of them went to Target on the day after Thanksgiving (I ended up not going which is a long story, but I am glad that I stood my ground, and actually think it is better that I can say that these gifts were not "from me", they were from my family.) Not sure if you can tell exactly how much stuff is there, but it is a lot! We discussed giving them the warm clothes they asked for prior to Christmas because they may need them in the mean time. That was left up to me and because I was taking care of one of the kids this weekend, I decided to bring the mom's coat and the dad's coat/gloves/hat today. I used an interpreter and hopefully they understood that these were not gifts from me, they were from my family because they wanted to adopt a family and their family was chosen...I may have to keep telling them that because I wouldn't want them to misinterpret things. Since it snowed today (BOOOOO!), I may bring the mom her boots tomorrow. The dad was so appreciative and it wouldn't surprise me if he is wearing the coat the next time I see him...it was really cute!

So, yes it snowed, and I'm not at all happy about that. Yes, this area of the country gets snow. Yes, I have been living here almost my entire life. However, I really am not a big fan of driving when the weather is perfect. Throw some snow and ice and I absolutely HATE it! Big vehicles scare me, so I have my little Jetta and it does well for me...except it is still frightens me to drive and I always have troubles getting up my driveway into the garage (I'd link to THAT picture, but need to go to bed!). I don't think there was three inches on the ground and I seriously wanted to cry when I was driving the 1.2 miles home from work. I'm hearing predictions of a foot of snow one night this week...not looking forward to that at all!

I'm also not looking forward to work tomorrow...and not just because I will have to get up earlier and get ready faster to make sure I have plenty of time to get to work. I'm actually almost dreading it (well, I am dreading the potential snowy drive, just sort of dreading the rest of the day). One of the nurses who has been there FOREVER, "always" takes care of this one patient. And, she also has refused to take care of a long-term patient. Well, I have been taking care of "her" patient for the past two days and am not going to change my patient assignment for her. And, the patient she has been refusing is now on a rotating nurse schedule that goes in alphabetical order so everyone gets their "turn" (you know there are issues when people are "forced" to take care of you on a rotating bases...just sayin'). Tomorrow it is her turn...for the first time ever. So, it is a double whammy and I have a feeling she is going to be royally ticked and, even though most of the time she is a VERY nice person, she may not be very pleasant tomorrow. I am trying to prepare myself for the worst and I am HOPING it doesn't end up being bad at all. I mean, she KNOWS her day is coming, but I have a feeling she could have some major issues with me having "her" patient and not willing to change (and, I'm hoping I won't regret not changing since I suppose the kid could also be quite ticked that I am the nurse and not her...)

Well, I was going to try to go to bed early since I have to get up earlier, but that isn't happening I guess. I am off this next weekend, so have to work Monday-Wednesday-Friday (after working Saturday and Sunday). It could be a yucky week...or I could choose (at least try to) for it to not be yucky and try to find non-yucky things every day :o)

Good night.

What the heck?!

So, yesterday I posted about how well my one paper white bulb is doing. That one is on my TV and I commented about how it "reached" for the sunlight. I mentioned that the one on my kitchen table wasn't doing so hot. Well, I realized today how really not-so-hot it was doing. It is like falling over and going pretty crazy...and maybe not as close to blooming as I thought!

So, I moved it to the top of the TV near the other one with hopes its friend will take care of it and the little bit of additional sun will "perk it up". Okay, so maybe these things aren't "fool proof"...what the heck?! That poor paper white bulb :o(

Today was pretty busy at work and I have to work the next two, so probably should head to bed. I had a super fun conversation with a "new-ish" friend after work tonight...I was, however, reminded that I'm really not as great of a listener as I "claim" to be...pay attention=most of the time, talk=a LOT, but listen=not so great. Next time, well, I, uh, better not make any promises I may not be able to keep...ha!

Good night!

I have flowers!

So, I seriously took those pictures of my paper whites on Monday, and the ones on top of my TV bloomed yesterday (or maybe today)! Even though those blinds are shut most of the time (since it seems I'm hardly home, or it isn't light when I am), that plant must get more sun than the Christmas-themed ones sitting on my table. Those ones are also near mostly closed blinds, but the covered porch is there making it harder for the sunlight to sneak through. Those flowers are close to blooming, but probably not for a few more days.

I took this picture when I was holding the "stem" toward me, it usually "hangs" over like the next picture.

It is really funny how the plant reached itself toward the windows to get as much sunlight as possible...amazing that it just knows what it needs! And yes, that is what decorations I have out right now. I have not yet put away my fall decorations ("all" three things) or brought out any Christmas itms. Thank goodness for my Christmas themed paper white and my Christmas music or it would appear that I am a "Scrooge"! Amber put snow on her blog. It is REALLY subtle, but I decided my blog needed snow to go along with the Christmas songs (and hopefully another little something to let people know that I am actually in the Christmas spirit, even if only in my heart and on my blog!) :o)

One would think that I would have my decorations out considering I haven't worked since what, Monday?! (re-reading this...I DID work part of Tuesday...that was the day I got pooped on!) However, these past few days have been really busy! This morning, I met my grandma at the mall to help her shop for my family. Well, this year I mostly helped her with where to buy gift cards since that is the easiest, and most practical thing (she is going to get my sister a grocery store gift card and some baby food...we ARE getting older when that will be very exciting for her!) She bought me lunch at Panera and then I met up with some friends from Curves. They were meeting for lunch, but were still visiting when I got there so I had a coffee and visited for a while. Then, I was supposed to have a "phone date" with a friend, but she stood me up (ha, just kidding...we postponed it because the timing didn't work for either of us today). I had a doctor's appointment at 4 for a physical since I need that to "renew" my foster parent license and also as an "ER follow-up". I thought maybe I'd have to have a "female exam", but was told by the previous resident that if I had had a certain number of normal ones, I only needed them ever 2-3 years (unless "circumstances" changed). This was a different doctor, so I didn't know what she would say...very excited to say I left there without having to have one...yay! That poor resident got an ear full though...I didn't realize how much I had talked until I got to my car and it was 5:15! Nice little "therapy" session on my "off week" from meeting with the counselor..Ha ha!

Well, I no longer have a roll out of bed and go to work kinda hair do (well, I may not have had that before, but I DID often roll out of bed and go!) so I'd better go to sleep since I work the next three days. I spent quite a bit of time trying to do it this morning and it doesn't look NEARLY as good as it did when my sister styled it :o( I HATE that!

Enjoy the blog snow (and the Christmas music!)

Good night.

The "Perfect" Pose

Today was really busy and I STILL don't have any Christmas decorations out! My sister is cracking me up because each day as her fb status she is counting down the days to Christmas and she doesn't have any Christmas decorations out, and neither do our parents. So, three houses and zero trees...that's pretty sad!

This morning was the monthly meeting that I "lead". It was kind of stressful for some reason today. I hear that I do a good job (and I DO try very hard to do a good job!), but I'm not sure people realize how much it takes out of me to do it. Some meetings go better than others, but today I was definitely sweating. It was, however, nice to come home and not have "making the agenda" on my list of things to do. Being the chairperson has been a growing experience for me, but think I will enjoy handing over that job in April!

This afternoon, I had an eye doctor appointment. It was a quick check and then I was off to the cable company. They had offered me a promotion for digital cable a few months back. I pretty much watched NBC exclusively until Medium moved to CBS and now I've watched Three Rivers a couple times. Occasionally I will watch some sports on ESPN (or baseball on WGN or TNT), but that's about it. But, I was "sucked in" and went for it...and then kept it around much longer than I should have since I still rarely ventured off those channels even though I was paying for them. Apparently today was the day to go to the cable store because there were like fifteen (mostly sketchy looking) people there...good thing it was early afternoon! I also thought I was paying quite a bit more than I should be for the basic things so they helped me with that. I managed to knock about $40 off my bill which will definitely help! Yesterday I called the gas company because I am on a level payment plan and noticed a $300 credit on my last bill. I asked if I could get a check for a portion of that credit because that definitely would help too! I had to stop the level payment plan for 3 months, but it should be okay. I realize that my gas bill will be higher now that it is cold, but it will work out.

From there, I went to Kohl's to get a shirt to wear to the Christmas concert I was attending with my mom and two of my aunts. It was MUCH colder today (we even had some "flurries") and in the end I decided against wearing a skirt, but it was nice to have a "festive" shirt. Since no one in my family has our trees up, I was hoping there would be a tree there that I could use as a "back drop" for my Christmas picture. Last year, I made a collage and I liked that (since, even though I'm happy being single, I still think that it would look silly to have one or two pictures on one of those photo cards...the collage looked much better in my opinion!) I have ideas of other pictures to go in the collage, but needed a "Christmas" one to add.

Thankfully, my mom was up for the task of snapping my picture in front of this Christmas tree at the music hall. Now, I just have to decide which one...and then see if I have more luck with my photo editing skills than I did yesterday! After I saw the first picture (which, to me, looks like one of those poses that pregnant women do when they take pictures of their belly each month...yeah, not going to use that one!), I asked my mom to take pictures more of my face. And, I tried some "sillier" poses, but I never think I look good in those kinds of pictures...people say I "crack them up", but I think I just look stupid when I try to make goofy faces/do silly pictures...maybe I just haven't had the right photographer who can make me not look stupid when I'm trying to be silly ;o) Since I'm not sure WHEN I will have another opportunity to get my picture taken in front of a tree (when I actually did my hair and make-up and am wearing a "festive" shirt), I will need to use one of these pictures in my Christmas card picture collage...feel free to cast a "vote" if you want. I'm thinking this year I may write a Christmas letter too (since 2009 was filled with all sorts of fun and exciting things!)

I am meeting my grandma at 1000 to help her shop for my family, so I'd better head to bed. I'm making good progress on my Christmas gifts, and maybe tomorrow I will pull out some Christmas stuff...maybe!

Good night.

[edited to add...I attempted "Picnik" again and came up with this--not too bad I guess! Still keeping my "day job"...ha!]

I Jumped on the "Bangs"wagon

(and apparently testing my photo editing abilities...good thing I haven't "decided" that I want to be a photographer because that wouldn't be a very good career move...I will definitely stick with taking care of children...that I can do :o) The picture below is the one I posted to fb...omg!)

So, I was busy getting pooped on at work yesterday, so had to reschedule my "hair appointment" with my sister for today. (Oh yeah, forgot I didn't write about THAT experience...[be warned that this is really nasty] I was supposed to work for a co-worker from 3:30-7:30 so she could go to her son's championship basketball tournament game. She called me late morning to say she was "on-call" but would let me know if she got called in. When it was nearing 2:00, I said I may as well go in rather than her if a nurse was needed. By 3:00, I was making plans for dinner and hair do with my sister. I got a call at 3:45 that they needed me because two MORE kids were getting admitted. Since I hadn't eaten, I went through the BK drive-thru on my way. The charge nurse was my right hand woman and was helping settle my first admission when the second one came. His mom wasn't with him when he got there so of course he was crying when he saw the gowns and masks. So, doing as any pediatric nurse would do [right?!] I picked up the poor child. No sooner did I pick him up than the couch, which was 2 feet away from me mind you, was covered with some sort of liquid and I was also standing in a pile of it with some dripping down my [gown covered] arms and also down my legs and backside that apparently were not as well protected from the gown. The child was screaming and crying and I was trying not to wet my pants because I didn't know what else to do besides laugh and try and figure out how I was going to get some help. I set him down [in the puddle of poop actually...oops] and found a phone to call the front desk for some reinforcements. It was SO crazy and none of us really knew what to do first. But, we got him, and the floor all cleaned up and I was thankful to have a spare pair of pants and shirt in my locker because it was really only like 5:45 at this time and I had quite a bit of shift left...and wouldn't exactly be able to work with my entire pant leg covered in poop...it was bad enough that I would have to continue to wear the shoes, socks, and underwear! I actually didn't clock out until after 8:15, so I called that nurse on my way home [right before I picked up more fast food for dinner] to let her know that not only did I get called into work, but I literally was pooped on. She owes me big time!)

Okay, back to the "bangs"wagon. I needed to get my hair colored again and my sister had an "idea". I usually just let her do whatever because it always ends up looking nice. Well, she hadn't had time to buy more color, but enough to do what she wanted. I brought over Chinese, but they messed up the order so my brother-in-law left to get that fixed. She started doing some "slices" with bleach that would end up becoming the red color. Well, part way through, my nephew was screaming because it was time to eat and of course my brother-in-law was gone. She didn't want me to feed him while she was putting bleach in my hair and after a bit of crying, we decided to stop for a bit so she could start feeding him even though I had BLEACH in my hair, we couldn't let the poor baby starve! Thankfully, his dad came to the rescue shortly there after. Well, my sister started freaking out because the bleach was working REALLY well and she kinda got a little worried about hair falling out issues. So, it was more stressful than it was fun for her (and she had been excited about doing my hair!) She rushed to finish the bleach part and put in the other color as fast as she could (the darker brown part). It ended up working out, but then she was worried because there wasn't as much red as she thought...and then that worked out too (my hair is REALLY red...the pictures don't capture the full effect, even after my attempts to adjust the color). Then, she moved to the hair cut piece and decided to do a "razor cut" (whatever that means...that was the kind of cut she wanted the last time she went to get her hair done and didn't actually get it). I had mentioned wanting "swoop bangs" since people seem to be getting bangs these days (my sister said I have too small of a forehead for full bangs...good to know!). She wasn't so sure since I like pulling my hair back. But, the couple of people I mentioned the "bang" idea to thought that I should do it. And, so, my sister gave me bangs...the "swoop" kind...

That was only about five hours ago and they are already driving me crazy...I guess I will have to get used to having hair in my face or learn how to "cutely" pull them back. I do not have a talent for doing hair (even less than my talent for editing pictures!) So, maybe getting a new hair 'do wasn't the most brilliant idea I have ever had, but there is nothing I can do about it now besides learn to deal with it, and have fun with my new 'do...until it grows out :o)

Well, it's nearly 1:00 and the past two days I've slept until like 10 and I have a meeting at 9:30, so I have to get up a bit earlier than that tomorrow. So, good night!

Paperwhites and Poppy Joy

Remember this picture? That is one of the two paperwhite bulbs I kept from the annual Perinatal and Pediatric Memorial Service which was held the second Sunday in October. The third one I gave to Angie Smith :o) (Um, yeah that meeting is "Still Surreal", so that was a good title for that post!) Well, I am going to have to shoot her an email to see if she "planted" hers because those things are AMAZING! I didn't "plant" mine until November 11, right before my party. I bought a couple vases on sale, some marbles, and some ribbon, and made one a "fall" theme and the other a "Christmas" theme. Never did I imagine that less than three weeks later, they would look like this:

I may have messed around with colors and angles a little too much, but those things are HUGE! All I did is fill the bottom of the vase with water and this is what happened! Seriously, the easiest plant to grow...ever! I would definitely recommend this type of activity to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, which is what we did at the memorial service. These things can even grow in the winter! And, I'm not at all "crafty" and I am sure the "crafty" folks could make a beautiful vase where these flowers could grow! But, this was even easy enough for me to do! I'll have to post more pictures when they bloom. :o)

I am setting this post to publish on December 1, 2009 at 10:26, exactly two years after Poppy Joy Luce was born, exactly one year after I wrote this post in a tribute to her life. I re-read that post, one that definitely was written from the heart, and the words still ring true today. I still believe that "meeting" that tiny baby sent a ripple effect that brought people into my life who have impacted me more than I can even begin to explain...and never could have imagined. While the whole post was worth a re-read, I had no idea how many more "Blessings upon blessings...Friendships, unexpected, maybe even unlikely..." would blossom in the year to come (in fact, I'd venture to say that nearly all of the people who read my blog these days were not readers of my blog one year ago...and I love my "blog friends"!).

Last year, on Poppy's first birthday, Angie wrote this post. On that day, they finalized the adoption of Adrienne, Poppy's little sister. I just finished Angie's book, even though I have had it for a while (but finishing it on the eve of Poppy's Joy's second birthday is perfect timing, if you ask me!). It came in handy when I was at my Thanksgiving retreat because I "happened" to be at the point in the book when they were preparing for Thanksgiving 2007, and Poppy's upcoming birth (this is the post she referenced in that chapter). What a wonderful perspective, and it was nice to have something to share with the group at the retreat :o)

I may not have as many words as I did last year, but Poppy Joy continues to have a very special place in my heart. I will close the same way I did last year:
So, today, I am remembering Poppy Joy, thanking God for her life, and all the blessings that have happened because she lived. Prayers to her family, as they surely are missing her even more today.