Eight Thirty

Well, I couldn't think of a title to really sum up yesterday and today, so "Eight Thirty" seemed as good as any because...

that is what time I went to bed last night...

Let me "rewind" to the morning. I was all happy walking into work in the morning. Why? Because I realized that I had only worked one out of five days and those four days off were NOT spent worrying about anything work-related. That is actually pretty big for me. Not that it is a terribly bad thing that my heart often is unable to leave those worries at work, but it is nice to have a break from that in order to give my emotions a little time to recover.

While I SOMEWHAT had a say in the patients I was assigned yesterday, I didn't realize until I started looking at the care plans that it was going to be an extra busy day. I love taking care of the transplant patients and some of my most stressful days were days I didn't have as many of those patients. (I think it is because I "know" what to do with them and the other patients are unpredictable in a different kind of way...kind of hard to explain because transplant patients probably are some of the MOST unpredictable patients who tend to get very sick very fast...) Anyway, I found out that two of my three patients were on the oncology service. Some people are cut out for that, but that is definitely not my "cup of tea".

One of my patients needed chemotherapy, but thankfully it was pretty "easy" as far as chemo goes (for some reason, giving chemo is really stressful for me...we check, double check, triple check everything, but it still makes me anxious about making a mistake). One of my other patients proved to be a really big challenge for me emotionally. It is a patient newly diagnosed with cancer who was previously healthy and now unable to do anything independently...not talk, not eat, not roll over, not even able to sit up. It took everything I had not to burst into tears every time I entered that room...

The first time I sat down was for lunch at 2:30 (thankfully I had my Carnation Instant Breakfast and oatmeal!) I hadn't had a chance to have ANY coffee, and have been doing a good job at not drinking Diet Coke, so I just drank water.

Yesterday happened to be "picture day". Once a year, a photographer comes and takes pictures of the patients who want their photos taken. Many of them have never had their picture taken professionally for various reasons. The "plan" was for the photographer to take a picture of my patient in the hospital bed. The physical therapist was going to come help with that. I decided that we could take the patient into the room where he had everything set up with lighting and such. The mom was elated that the child could leave the room. It was quite an ordeal, but we got them all set up on the couch for a much more "normal" looking picture than in a hospital bed. Then, I ended up being the first to inform the mother that her child didn't have to wear hospital gowns, but she could bring clothes from home. (Of course, I had to hold back tears during the photo and her reaction to the whole clothes thing as well...)

Around 5/6:00, my head started to hurt. I figured it was due to the lack of caffeine since I usually drink quite a few cups of coffee every day. One of my patients got to go home at 6:30, so I was a lot less busy after that. By that point, I also started to feel kind of nauseous, but again, figured it was a caffeine (and possibly stress-related as well since I had a frontal headache and my eyes hurt like I needed to get my contacts out ASAP...and could it even be due in part to the "unhealthy sandwich" and green beer from the night before?!) During nursing report, I had to close my eyes and hold my head and was SO thankful that it is only a five minute drive home. I figured that once I got my contacts out, I would be "a new woman".

Well, I got my contacts out and then I lost it...thankfully into the toilet. I hardly EVER get sick, especially not "vomiting sick" (and, I don't get headaches that often either). Once I threw up, I thought I was good...I could go check on "my blogs" that I missed out on all day long while at work and maybe even type a blog post. I grabbed my lap top and was going to chill out in bed and then, back to the bathroom I went. I called my grandma to take a rain check on lunch today since I had no clue how long this would last, and I went to bed...

at eight thirty.

The very good part of this story is that I slept straight through until the 5:00 hour, and didn't actually get up until almost 10:00. It was SO nice that I already had today off, that I could just sleep since I didn't have any other responsibilities (my cluttery house can stay that way for a little longer), and I am VERY thankful that so far there has been no more vomiting (I still feel like I have a bit of a weak stomach and a slight headache, so I probably should try to go to bed a little earlier tonight!)

I did make it up to work out. Although it wasn't a very good work out, I'm glad I at least made some of an effort because I spent the remainder of the day just sitting on the couch (watching basketball, reading blogs, and chatting on facebook/gmail...perfect day...ha ha!). I didn't even shower until after 4:00 before meeting a friend for dinner. We had a nice visit so I am glad I felt well enough to go. I went to choir practice and visited my parents for a few minutes before coming back home to my spot on the couch...

Back to work tomorrow. Hopefully the night of extra sleep and the day of "laying low" were enough...I suppose, as I have said more than once, "I can do ANYTHING for one day", right?!

Good night.