Do I have anything to say?: I Wish She Knew

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I Wish She Knew

First of all, my nephew is home from the hospital--yay! His bilirubin finally came down to 10, so hopefully it keeps going down. My sister is very excited to sleep in a bed instead of a recliner (although I'm not sure she'll sleep much with a two week old who has spent the week in the hospital!)

I'm surprised the teen isn't sleeping here tonight. I am, however, proud of her for going home even though it is likely easier to come here.

She sent me a copy of a text her mom sent her as soon as she got home from school. Her mom sent it from her bedroom and did not go see the teen. It seems like her mom talks to her a lot via text message. "U got the dishes and front room spotless sweep, mop. Deal. Wake me up at 8pm." The teen's comment on the message was "I DO help a lot here more than I should". I texted her back that she should help with dishes, floors, laundry and such. I reminded her that she did those things when she was living here without me even asking. I told her that I think her issue is with her mom's approach and communicating of the "chores" and not feeling appreciated for the work that she does do around the house.

I called her on my way home from work since it was before 8:00 and she'd have to get off then to wake up her mom (apparently). I talked to her a little bit about the text and she did seem to agree that it is more the way that her mom "talks" to her that bothers her more than the actual stuff she expects her to do. Once again, she isn't going to be able to change her mom and, even though it is incredibly difficult, she has to try and let the "unkindness" roll off her.

She told me about a speaker she attended after school and that she got another 100% on an English reading quiz (they are reading F@hrenheit 451 :) ) She said she thought her Geometry quiz yesterday went pretty well and she thinks she figured out a topic for her persuasive speech (why you should watch football ;) )

Then, she shared what her friends were doing this weekend. They are staying the night at one girls house tomorrow night so they can all go to her track meet on Saturday. I'm not sure if she talked to her mom about it via text or what, but apparently her mom's response was "WTH I don't know who that is". The teen has never really gotten to go out with friends on the weekends. When she lived with me, that's usually when there were visits (or I was working). She doesn't have a car or a license, so she can't go anywhere without arranging things in advance and she doesn't live by any of her friends.

She was obviously upset about this response since it didn't sound like her mom would do anything like call her friend's mom or try to get any information about who would be there and what the "actual" plans were. I told her about a high school friend who wasn't allowed to stay the night anywhere and I can't really judge her mom for saying "no" to a sleepover since she does seem to have issues with trusting people. I told her to ask her mom if she could go tomorrow night but then stay the night here instead of there and/or see if I can bring her to the track meet on Saturday so she can hang out with her friends there. I said her mom could call me, but I haven't heard from either of them and I'm about to go to bed.

I wish her mom knew what an amazing daughter she has. It makes me cry that she can't see it. Her daughter is loyal. She is a terrific friend. Does she know that having a daughter who doesn't drink, smoke, use drugs, sneak out, or stay out past curfew is pretty awesome? I wish she knew how hard her daughter has worked to catch up in school since she had a 1.9 GPA in the only semester of high school she had before entering care. Does she know that her daughter wants to get a business degree in college so she can start her own business? Does she know that her daughter memorizes the names of college athletes and talks about them like she knows them? Can she see her beautiful smile? Does she know her daughter likes to tell random stories and watch weird Utube videos?

I'm so blessed to know her amazing daughter...I just wish she knew her too.

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This blog purposefully is left full name and location free out of respect to my family and to my patients/families. Due to the nature of my work, and having foster children in my home, it is important to maintain privacy and confidentiality. All photographs of patients were either given to me by the families or taken with family permission. Thank you for your understanding and support in helping me protect myself and "my people" =) If you have any questions, or want to know more about me, feel free to email me at iloveblogs44 {at} gmail {dot} com.

Who's Who

Updated September 2013

I have one sister who is married and has two boys. "A" was born June 2009 and "I" was born March 2012. We are both really close to my parents and have lots of "family dinners".

I wrote a lot about my patients when I first started this blog. Some patients are still growing and thriving, and others have lost their battles.

My first foster placements lived with me from June 2010-September 2011. They were sisters who were 15 and almost 3 when they were placed with me and are now 18 and 5. I called M "the teen" and L "the little one". They live with their mom who still has many issues, but are doing well (ok) and I still have (not enough) contact with them.

My second foster placement came to me September 6, 2012. I call her Zoe and she turned 5 in April. She has cystic fibrosis and has been a patient on my floor at the hospital. The plan is still reunification.

Ivy is a 17-year-old whose mom died just before Thanksgiving. She has a Guardian, but is unable to live with him due to some family issues. She has no other family who is willing/able to take her. She moved in with me the beginning of February. She moved to a group home at the beginning of August as her needs were too great for me with my schedule and having another child with special needs.