When It Rains...

So...while the girls' mom was upset I didn't bring them over last night, I am feeling MUCH better about not being there during that time. She had wanted them from 5-8 and at just after 8:00 there was a police call followed by a standoff and shooting ending in a person (the one threatening the life of a baby) being killed AT THE SAME APARTMENT COMPLEX WHERE SHE LIVES! While I know those things can happen anywhere in a big city, I definitely think it gives me grounds to stand on my decision that my drop offs and pick ups need to be during daylight hours. I called my caseworker to let her know about the shooting and asked her to help me when it comes to discussing future visits when we have our team meeting on Monday.

I received a phone call from my dad at 1:45 this morning letting me know that my grandpa wasn't doing well. I was obviously not 100% coherent, but at that time asked if I should call in sick to work (2:00 is the cut-off time for day shift) He said my grandpa didn't look well at all, but I didn't feel a sense of urgency...and went back to sleep.

My alarm went off as scheduled at 5:30. During one of my snooze button pressing episodes, I noticed my phone had a text message. It was from my dad and said Kristi the respiratory therapist knew me. I texted back "Oh. Weird. How is gpa?" His response: "Priest was just here. NOT good just waiting now." Whoa, whoa what?! Waiting for what?! So, I called him and he said that grandpa likely wouldn't make it through the day. Through tears, I called work to say that I couldn't come in today (someone was on call, but I DID feel bad about making her come in). Then I called my sister and let her know. I picked her up on the way to the hospital. The girls were sleeping, but I let the teenager know and she's okay staying here with the little one for a while.

When we got there, my grandpa really was struggling hard to breathe. He is on a blood pressure med to keep his pressure up and blood flowing to his brain and heart, but also doesn't help his kidneys. His one lung is filled with nasty fluid and has a really bad infection. The infection is also in his blood and he has a urinary tract infection. So, not good...except he is alert and able to talk when aroused. The nurse he has today is absolutely amazing which is SUCH a blessing. I was there until around 10:00 when I came home to get the little one (it's about a 30 minute drive which is definitely not convenient, but it is what it is). I brought her back to the hospital and we stayed until 1. He's hanging in there, but I think he's afraid to die and leave my grandma. The nurse was talking to him about making his own decision about his life since those kinds of things are really tough for the people who don't want to let you go. He was sleeping a lot more when I left, but his breathing wasn't quite as labored so he looked more comfortable.

It is SO hard seeing him like that. I don't want to imagine life without him, especially my grandma's life without him. However, he has lived most of the past 6-8 weeks in the hospital or rehab and that can't have been enjoyable. With the infection, it will take WEEKS of antibiotics to treat which will affect the rest of his body. I'm not sure, medically speaking anyway, if his body can handle that.

Only God knows what is to happen and how many minutes/hours/days he has left on this earth. Your prayers for my family, especially my grandma, are appreciated.

The girls will be off to see their mom in about 45 minutes and then I'll likely head back to the hospital for a while.