Do I have anything to say?: Will You Get More?

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Will You Get More?

It's been just over 23 months since I first met the girls.

It's been just over 7 months since the girls went home.

And yet...they are still a very big part of my life.

I know it's just because people are curious, but I've been getting the "will you get more" question a lot recently. I attended a foster parent appreciation night party on Friday night. I spoke at foster parent training in October and again in March. One mom from each group came and talked to me about how things were going post-reunification. Another mom came and asked how things were going. The mom I talked to at the last training came to gave me her information (and asked me if the teen had an "IEP" which I may look into) and asked how things were.

All of them wanted to know if/when I was taking more placements.

I do, at times, feel guilty that I haven't taken any more placements. I wonder if I should be "keeping my life on hold" when it seems unlikely that the teen will get her wish of moving back here on a permanent/semi-permanent basis.

My response to them was that one of the caseworkers told me I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. She's also the one who told me I'd "know when I knew"...and she was definitely right then.

I thought I was "ready" for "more" at the end of January, beginning of February right before everything blew up with the teen. I'm thankful now that I have been able to be fully present for her during these past three months...and the months to come.

Today while I was at work, I missed a call about a 15-year-old girl who needed a placement. She was at my hospital (but not in my area) being treated for physical abuse, maybe getting released today. I got the message pretty soon after it was left and my first call was to the teen. I asked her how she would feel about me getting another placement. She told me it was fine (I asked her lots of times to make sure). I let her know that it wouldn't change how I felt about her and she was my #1 priority, so she could say no. However, once I had her blessing, I called my dad and asked if he'd be able to help with the bed situation since I just have one "spare" bed that the teen uses (and a toddler bed). I called the worker back less than 20 minutes after the initial call came in. I got a little more information and she said she or another worker would call me with more information (she thought maybe I could at least do "emergency" this week since I only work Wednesday and then the weekend). She called me pretty quickly after we hung up to tell me they found another place for her...

So, I suppose the answer to "will you get more" is "probably", but I'm choosing to trust that God has the timing and the details all worked out.

In the mean time, I know I'll get to spend time with the teen tomorrow and Tuesday (and maybe Thursday)...and for that, I know I'm blessed.

Good night.

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This blog purposefully is left full name and location free out of respect to my family and to my patients/families. Due to the nature of my work, and having foster children in my home, it is important to maintain privacy and confidentiality. All photographs of patients were either given to me by the families or taken with family permission. Thank you for your understanding and support in helping me protect myself and "my people" =) If you have any questions, or want to know more about me, feel free to email me at iloveblogs44 {at} gmail {dot} com.

Who's Who

Updated September 2013

I have one sister who is married and has two boys. "A" was born June 2009 and "I" was born March 2012. We are both really close to my parents and have lots of "family dinners".

I wrote a lot about my patients when I first started this blog. Some patients are still growing and thriving, and others have lost their battles.

My first foster placements lived with me from June 2010-September 2011. They were sisters who were 15 and almost 3 when they were placed with me and are now 18 and 5. I called M "the teen" and L "the little one". They live with their mom who still has many issues, but are doing well (ok) and I still have (not enough) contact with them.

My second foster placement came to me September 6, 2012. I call her Zoe and she turned 5 in April. She has cystic fibrosis and has been a patient on my floor at the hospital. The plan is still reunification.

Ivy is a 17-year-old whose mom died just before Thanksgiving. She has a Guardian, but is unable to live with him due to some family issues. She has no other family who is willing/able to take her. She moved in with me the beginning of February. She moved to a group home at the beginning of August as her needs were too great for me with my schedule and having another child with special needs.