Remember This

I have used this place as a "journal" (or a "diary") more often than for anything else. It is mostly for myself, but I am grateful for all who come to "listen". I have come here many times to vent about my mom and "her ways", but I have been given example after example of how great I really do have it (and I do know that even without the examples, but those are good reminders!) I shared with my therapist the last time I went that "I need therapy in order to deal with all the people in my life who need therapy but won't go"...not 100% true, because I honestly think everyone needs "therapy" or at least someone to listen to them and give guidance if necessary.

Anyway, I was getting my TV installed this morning (a 50" plasma...yeah, not 100% necessary in my opinion, but I was told that it would make the space in my living room bigger and that I will really like it). They were just finishing up and I was talking to the installers when my mom "barged" in. She was dropping off a "groupon" she had bought so I could get my nails done this afternoon which was really nice and thoughtful. However, she interrupted our conversation and rushed through whatever she was wanting to say because she was running late to meet my sister and nephew to meet Santa. I couldn't get in any words or say anything about the fact that she was interrupting or ask questions or send anything with her for my sister or anything...yet SHE was the one who stopped by and didn't have time to visit. I was rather irritated. But, after she left, I opened the envelope she handed me along with the "groupon".

Inside the envelope was a (sizable) check as well as a note. The note made me cry...and also feel bad that I was so irritated with her rushing out on me to be with my sister and nephew. And, even though that part still stings because that's what feels like most of the time when I'm with her, I know that I have things really good and do appreciate how much my parents love me (and not just because they give me money and pay for me to get my nails done!) My dad came over after work to help me move the piano back and rearrange the furniture in my living room.

Because I want to remember this, I will type what the letter said (even though I never throw anything away!)

Dear A,
We received many blessings during 2011--and you are a significant part of those blessings.


We realize that unexpected expenses can make it difficult to keep up with financing even normal monthly necessities.


We are pleased that we can give you the enclosed gift--to help you get some of her finances in order and to jump start your cash flow.


As you experience some of life's bumps in the road, you are learning how important it is to use common sense in order to have a bit of savings for future "little emergencies".


Love, Mom & Dad

Now, my parents are "spenders" and not exactly "savers", but I do like to think I'm fairly "smart" about the things I use my money for. Unfortunately, my house needs entirely new duct work and my car is due for some work based on the number of miles it has that will not be cheap. I do think it will be nice if I can get some of my bills paid up on before I get another placement, but that isn't going to be the deciding factor. I offered to work a couple of extra days while I can since working extra won't be an option when I have parenting responsibilities again. My "one word" for 2011 was "trust" and I do trust that things will work out the way they are "supposed" to...even if there are tears along the way. This year, I had more medical bills than I have ever had, I lost more hours at work than I ever have, and I was responsible for caring for two kids for nine months. So, this Christmas present from my parents was definitely an unexpected blessing and why I wanted to "remember this"...

Good night.