If the teen is going to school at the same school she has been attending (she thinks she is), it starts on the 16th and she is not yet enrolled (but her mom is working on getting a meeting for next week). According to her bank statement, she "spent" over $700 last month which is about what she made, so her mom has not been helping her save money for school (or the car that they both say she needs even though she doesn't have a license). It makes me ill (or want to cry) every time I see some kind of transaction that appears to be more (all?) of her mom's doing than hers, so if it keeps up, I may end up having to tell her she should just have her mom be her adult on the account. I did actually get to talk to her about it today and told her not to let her mom take advantage of her hard work (her pay check today for the past two weeks was nearly $800...she has been working her BUTT off!) I also cautioned her about the "dangers" of credit/debit cards because you can't really tell how much you are spending. $5 here, $15 there adds up, especially if you throw in some $50-$100 in there. She seemed to listen and did not get defensive (I made sure to start it by saying I was not at all being defensive and told her that it is hard for me to budget too).
She went a few days being really angry at me for some reason (likely mom-related lies if I had to take a guess). But, then I brought her home from work a couple of times last week (and actually ended up with an unprompted thank you...after a couple reminders that taking an hour out of my evening deserves a thank you at the very least!) Then, she stayed here last night and the night before since she didn't have a ride home and I was cozy on the couch in my pjs with a beer watching the Olympics. I'm pretty proud of myself for making her get a ride here (full disclosure: I WAS about to get up and get her on Wednesday, then I told her I'd bring her here, but not home, then I asked her to get a ride here...my sister text shouted at me since we were in the middle of watching the Olympics "together" when I was going to have to leave). So, I'd say things are pretty good there. She opted not to go to work today so we hung out and watched some Olympics and some Lifetime movies. I love her so much!
I haven't really seen the little one since the end of May. She was with her mom while the teen was living here. I did see her jumping on the bed by the window one night when I dropped off the teen and today I saw her running around outside with two of her brothers (even though her mom tells me all the time that she never lets her kids play outside, especially since they live in the projects...as if telling me that will make me think she is a better mother). I actually think it is kind of easier this way. She has had absolutely no structure and likely minimal discipline/"parenting" during this past 10+ months that she has been home. So, she's not quite as fun to be around. Plus, she has fallen behind since she hasn't been in any kind of school or day care setting and that makes me sad (my 3-year-old nephew can recognize all of his capitol and lower-cased letters and she can't even say that her first name starts with "L" or how to write it). From what the teen says, she won't be going to school this year either (she misses the cut-off for kindergarten and I guess her mom didn't sign her up for Head Start/pre-K in time). So, keeping my distance makes things a little easier for me. I'm cool with putting all my energy into making sure the teen turns out alright :)
Last week, one of the medical teams made a CPS referral for medical "neglect" of one of their patients. I don't think the parents are being purposefully neglectful, but the child has had a number of hospitalizations and seems to thrive better in the hospital. I have told my agency that I needed to wait for calls until September due to having to work extra shifts this month. However, if that child was brought into care before then, I probably would say yes. CPS decided to give more in-home support and continue to monitor. But, the child stayed in the hospital and there was court scheduled for today. I have to work both days this weekend, so wouldn't really be able to say "yes", so hopefully they got things figured out where the child can remain in the home.
Just having the thought of a potential placement (and just feeling "ready" to move forward) has motivated me to spend a little more time getting my house ready. I still think I'll keep the teen's room available for her since I think it is going to continue to be a struggle for her to get to and from school and to and from work without my support. So, I need to make my "junk room" into a bedroom free of clutter and things that I do not want any children getting into. Right now, my living room is "organized chaos" with boxes labeled from 2003-2012 filled with pictures, tickets, pamphlets, other memorabilia that I have saved. My goal is to get them organized so I can then scrapbook them. I saved pretty much every card or note that has ever been sent to me. I lived far away from home for over five years, so got lots of notes from my family. I have thrown away quite a few birthday card and Christmas cards, but I'm sure there will have to be another round of sifting through those items. I am so sentimental that it is hard for me to throw away things like that when people took time to think of me and tell me that!
That's pretty much all that's been going on around here. I just take one day at a time and try not to stress out about the teen and all that drama. It's hard sitting at home every night wondering if I'm going to get a late night "SOS" call and planning my response if it does come. I know I could drive myself insane if I don't keep reminding myself to take care of "me" too and know that I have already done a lot to improve her life and confidence. She told me last night that she may want to major in Sociology instead of Business because she thinks she may want to work for/run a non-profit of some sort. Prior to her coming into care, she had gone to a different school every year and I doubt she saw college as a possibility at all. I'm proud of her...and with that comes being proud of my role.
Well, back to the Olympics (and my beer...ha!) Go USA!
Until the next time...
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