What Makes Me Sad

This afternoon, we had a "family team meeting", even though the plan is for the girls to go home on Tuesday. We haven't had one since January and none of the ones I attended were very productive. So, I guess we "had" to have one since it had been so long and I guess "touch base" before court. In attendance was myself, the service coordinator, both agency workers (the one for the girls and the one for the boys), and their mom.

I was determined not to cry...and I did not. Her new place is nice, which is good. It is government housing and they gave her a four-bedroom place so there was room for everyone to come home. She has been there a month and hasn't gotten a single bed for any of her five children who are to be coming home in five days. I offered her a full-size bed in January, but she has to arrange someone to come get it at a time that works for me. Today, she told me she needs a kitchen table if I know anyone who wants to give her one. She asked the service coordinator to find her beds...bunk beds if possible.

She didn't want to have the girls come tomorrow and stay until Monday because she is "low on groceries", but they are to go from Saturday to Monday. She more or less said that as soon as her kids get back then she can get her welfare back...and that is that. She is not planning to find work. When asked what she would do if she didn't get her welfare checks, she said that won't happen, so she didn't need to plan for that. She mentioned something about a "benefit dinner" to help pay for the teen's school (are you for real?!) but did say that it is important for her to continue attending that school (good to hear, but not for sure I believe in her ability to follow through with something that requires a bit of sacrifice and effort).

So, the girls will be going back to living on government assistance with a parent who has no desire to live any other way. They have spent 18 months in a stable environment getting ALL of their needs met--physical, social, mental, emotional, educational, etc.--and are about to go back to something that is anything but stable. The little one has a basic schedule with consistent rules and discipline. She definitely knows how to manipulate, but it doesn't really work here. She's the "baby", so I can see the "tantrums" and "outbursts" becoming more frequent and being dealt with in the easiest way possible which is giving in to her requests (eg. crying for candy, crying because she wants you to put her sweater on her, crying because she wants to watch a movie...)

I know they are "lucky" to have been able to experience life outside of poverty and see that you get to do fun things if you work hard. They have been given amazing role models (if I do say so myself ;) ) and have seen another way of living. I realize that this alone could "break the cycle", but knowing that they are seen as much for being a "pay check" as they are for being "flesh and blood" is heartbreaking.

Tonight we went to a baseball game. Tomorrow, the little one is getting her pictures taken (and maybe the teen/me too). Tomorrow night, we are going to a concert. The little one doesn't know yet and the teen is going to record her reaction. I found three tickets in the "nosebleed" section for less than $50 when the original price for one was almost $70. The teen didn't show her excitement as much as I thought she would, but I know she is excited and is looking forward to sharing this experience with her sister. I can't believe I'm bringing a 3 1/2 year old to a concert...what can I say, these girls are spoiled (just like I was when I was a kid, right?! ;) ) and totally worth it!

Long and busy day tomorrow.
Good night.