She has come SO far in the nearly 10 months she has lived here! I have even seen a difference in this past week and I am constantly reminded of how much I love her, how much I have learned from her, and how blessed I am to have her in my life. Of course, I am also aware of how much of "me" she will take with her when she leaves.
I wish I could post a picture I took back in July. The little one was wearing a dress and wanted them to take pictures together. I took four pictures of them on the front porch and she barely cracked a smile. If you could see the smile on her face in the last pictures posted here from when I took her to a college fair, you wouldn't believe it was the same kid (well, you probably could, but you know what I mean ;) ).
She loves her sister, but she has learned to trust me to do the parenting. She eats dinner with us and does the dinner dishes, but she has learned that cooking dinner for the family is not her responsibility. She talks about going to college. She is proud of her perfect attendance. She often goes before school or stays after school to get help from her teachers. This past week, she has come to me nearly every day to "let" me help her study. She has been responding to my questions, even when I have asked if/when she has talked to her mom (who is out-of-town with her ill parent(s) again). She has been able to come to me to ask for things she wants (I know, that seems weird to encourage, but her coming to me and saying she'd like a hair cut and would like me to take her to buy some shoes with her baby-sitting money and a coupon is really big!)
Thinking about the love I have for her is an amazing feeling, but it rarely comes without tears welling up in my eyes and/or a sickness in my stomach knowing that things will not always be like this. As much as her mom loves her, it's just different. Here in my home and with my family, she has "cheerleaders" who believe in her, enjoy spending time with her, listen to her random stories/facts, and has been encouraged to "be a kid". Sure, in my "mind over matter", I know that this time can never be taken away from her. The love she has received and the role modeling she has witnessed will remain with her forever.
She's the best...and I'm looking forward to spending as many days with her as we are given (and now she's next to me on the couch, so I'd better press publish post and stop crying ;) )
Good night.
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