Part of the Deal

Today I had to deal with one of the not-so-fun parts of being a foster mom...

After many messages left, I finally found out when the visits will resume and when they will be.

They have never had visits on Saturdays, so I sent invitations and prepared to have a Princess Party on Saturday the 28th to celebrate the little one's 3rd birthday. We decided 1130-130 would be a good enough time to show we cared, but not be over-the-top. I planned on pizza and cake/ice cream. My sister ordered a little bit pricier/fancier cake as her present. It all seemed perfect...until I found out this morning that visits will be Friday nights 5-8, Saturdays from 10-1, and Sundays from 10-1.

Are you kidding me?! I was like "can't you just change the visit so we can have this party as we planned"? Oh no, remember that I'm NOT the mom, she is, and she gets her visits. Okay, I get that, but no way was I going to invite her to come to my house for the party for the visit as the person from the state suggested. How awkward would THAT be?! Sure, she likes me now and I've tried not to say anything negative about her, but still, MY family is going to be there and that seems kind of weird. So, basically I was told that I needed to call the mom to work this out.

I took some deep breaths and decided that waiting wouldn't make it any easier/better. When I told her about the party, she said that was nice, but she was going to ask me to bring the girls to an all day family gathering that day. Come on, really?! I just wanted the visit moved to 9-noon so we could still have the party. Then she was upset that I didn't invite their siblings, but seriously, couldn't they have THEIR family party on Friday night. Why is that my problem that she is super busy with all their family stuff so she doesn't have time to plan a party?! Grr!

Well, after over 30 minutes of round and round, painful conversation (holding my breath that she wasn't going to invite herself to the party!), we were able to come to a compromise...I think...I hope. She will "allow" me to have the party as planned during the 1130-130 time frame as long as I bring the girls to the afternoon events. She was still upset about the boys being "not welcome" at the party...seriously?!

But, I talked to "M" about inviting her brothers and she thought I should. My mom's concern was them "comparing" where the girls are living versus where they are, plus the fact that "L" will obviously get gifts because who doesn't want to buy something for a 3-year-old girl?! My concern was them feeling out-of-place and bored since I didn't plan any games and don't have that big of a house. However, in order to "make peace", I called their foster mom (the first time I have talked to her) and told her about the party. She, too, was asked to bring them to the family gathering that day, but this morning party fits better into her schedule for that day (don't ya love how foster parents' schedules are supposed to work around the biological parents' schedules?!) so it could actually work out "perfectly"...

Well, that is unless she changes her mind...

I'm still hoping she doesn't decide that SHE needs an invitation to the party (thank goodness for the family gathering, I guess...nice little "blessing in disguise"!)

I suppose when I signed up to be a foster mom, dealing with biological parents is part of the deal...and I know that I am lucky that she likes me (for the time being anyway)

Well, "M" starts school in the morning and "L" was REALLY acting out today, so that will be fun. I signed "M" up for driver's ed, so we went out driving twice today (in the cemetery which my dad so kindly pointed out is a good place to go because "you can't kill anyone there") The cemetery I picked had lots of winding roads and the second time we went in the evening when no one else was around. She greatly improved from the first time to the second. Of course, she didn't go any fast than 15 mph, but you wouldn't really want to on those roads anyway!

I have to get up early too, so better head to bed.

Good night.