Today we ran around all day long and the little one didn't go down for a nap until 3:30. She was surprisingly cooperative all through our errands even though she didn't get a nap...I am so blessed!
Our first stop was at the DMV to get the teenager her learner's permit. We went inside, then realized that I needed proof of address. I wasn't sure I had appropriate documents, but ended up finding some things in the car and we went back inside...to wait and wait for our turn. She got her picture taken, did the vision check and then the little one and I waited outside while she took her written exam. She took her time, but still didn't pass so we will have to go back. She was given some practice questions so hopefully she will pass the next time.
From there, we went to the mall so she could use my "Vicky's" coupons which were for a free pair of underwear and $10 toward anything (she got three mini lotions/perfumes). We then grabbed lunch to go from Panera and went to meet with the caseworker at the agency.
We ate lunch and filled out paperwork. While we were at the DMV, we discovered that M's birth certificate has a different birth date than everything else...not sure why she didn't know when her birthday was, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, that doesn't sound like something very fun to change (I don't think her birth certificate is wrong like she suggested...guess she'll have to ask her mom the next time she sees her!) The agency had a bunch of clothing donations, so we got some things for the little one. "M" was given the tubs with things her size/age and pretty much stuck her nose up at everything until I went through one with her and showed her some items th
at WOULD fit and that money doesn't grow on trees at my house...ha! She's always a little "stand-off-ish" when we meet with the caseworker and hardly says a word which is totally not typical of the girl who talks my ear off even when I'm OBVIOUSLY reading/typing something on my computer...ha! I'm not sure why she is so rude, but I guess the caseworker is used to it and I haven't figured out a way to address it, or even know if I should.
After we got home, I put the little one down for a nap, did a few things, and then called my mom in another room while M was on the computer. I was talking to my mom about a couple of different things, including L's birthday that is coming up on the 27th. I think I will have a small lunch party for her on that Saturday with pizza and cake. I mentioned to my mom that I hadn't decided yet if I should invite the previous foster parents since the girls were with them for six months (and they are paying for M to go to private school, but she doesn't know that). Apparently M was listening because she yelled a "No" to which I shot back an "I wasn't talking to you". When I was off the phone, I let her cool off a little before I apologized for snapping at her, but really WASN'T talking to her. She wouldn't look at me, but responded by telling me that if she was invited, she wouldn't come out of her room and she basically that she doesn't appreciate me even thinking about asking them because they aren't "family". She said a few other things regarding "the way she was treated there". I have a hard time believing things were THAT bad there (HELLO, they put her in private school and are still paying for it even though she is living with me!), but told her that I appreciated her input and would take it into consideration.
That conversation happened an hour or so ago and she hasn't spoken to me since. She finished her practice questions and then went to her room. It amazes me that the mention of "her" name has such an effect on M. I suppose I really DON'T know what went on there, but I do figure that a teenager who is placed in foster care isn't going to be a big fan of her first foster parents no matter how hard they try. Obviously, the fact that they had two teenagers of their own living there (plus a bunch of pets) means it was a lot different dynamic than it is here. Plus, it was the school year not the summer, and I haven't put limits on television watching/computer use up to this point. Anyway, she did pretty much seal the deal on my decision NOT to invite them, but I guess there is nothing wrong with having her wonder about that for a little while.
I haven't heard when visits are going to start up again and I suppose she probably has some built-up anger against her mom that she isn't willing to place ON her mom. I can take it, right?! Ha! Well, I suppose it's time for me to go see what kind of mood she's in now because the little one can't sleep all night and we need to figure out dinner.
Ah, the life of the mom of a teenager...I'm counting my blessings, though, because I know it could be a LOT worse!
Night time update: Me blogging + her taking a nap = things seem to be back to "normal"
We went to "Dollar Tree" and got party supplies for a Princess Party for super cheap and did our work out after having ice cream together. Now it's time to watch Days of Our Lives on DVR ;)
2 comments:
You are doing good Amanda. Lots went on today and not passing the written exam is a bummer. I failed three times before I got it:) I am sure she is thinking about it all and thank God she is in your home where she can think without distraction of other teenagers. Mom issues are so huge at this age in the best of times. I am proud of you for honoring her wishes too, even if you don't tell her for a little while longer.
Love and Hugs, Laurie
It sounds like you are doing the best you can with two girls that are in completely different stages of life. I can't even begin to imagine how tough it would be to deal with a preschooler and a teenager. Hang in there!
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