Tomorrow morning, Zoe's mom goes to court. Even though the caseworker (confidentially) told me that they are not recommending Zoe go live with her aunt at this time, I still have no idea how it is going to go. Her reasoning when we spoke last weekend was because of the aunt being "undocumented". While that's all fine and dandy because I don't think Zoe should leave my home any time soon, I don't like that immigration status is the reason. The reasons should be the fact that her aunt has not been involved in her cares and her mom is still being non-compliant with her treatment, medications, and diet.
I pushed for her mom to be able to do her evening treatment and administer medications at the day care Monday through Friday at the end of her visits (which are Monday through Friday from 4-8 after she goes to school from 9-4 which totally sucks in my opinion). Zoe is completely out of control and the treatments that take 30-45 minutes take 60-90 minutes for her with Zoe screaming and crying the entire time. Thursday, her mom tried to refuse to do the treatment and I told the worker that her visit needed to ended early then, so mom threw a tantrum, but did the treatment. Friday, her mom basically threw a tantrum at the day care saying that it smelled (to be honest, it did...it is a day care for kids with special needs) and took Zoe into the bathroom for 30 minutes in the middle of her treatment. She also purposefully used the wrong nebulizer for her antibiotic which is unacceptable in my opinion. She has said she will not do treatments at the day care any more (and wants to do them at her house...I am really stressed that they are going to let her even though her noncompliance and lack of parental authority is what got her into this situation to begin with and it is not at all in Zoe's best interest for that to happen...I don't even think that her aunt should be the one to do the supervising because that sounds like a recipe for disaster with Zoe's health at stake).
So, I'm really struggling with trust, even though I'm constantly reminding myself to trust God (and the system) and telling myself to let go of what is out of my control, I'm still having a hard time. I'm also trying really hard to get rid of all my "f-bombs" before court tomorrow and find some better words if the Judge asks me what I think. My dream would be for her to stay in my care and them to change visits to a couple of times a week so we have more time together to work on things like her speech, listening skills, vocabulary, and be able to do fun things like go look at Christmas lights or see the big tree at the museum. Right now, she is gone every night until late and I barely have time to get her a snack, a bath, and a book before it's after 9:00 (or 9:45!)
Your prayers (or good thoughts) are welcome. I just want what's best for her. Cystic Fibrosis is a horrible disease and I'm afraid her life span has already been shortened due to the persistent noncompliance in her first 4 1/2 years of life. In the 12 weeks she has been with me, she has been on oral antibiotics for 6 weeks anda inhaled antibiotics for 5 weeks. She has had to increase her treatments from twice a day to three times a day for about 5 weeks too due to illness. The Pulmonologist told me that she will likely need to be hospitalized if she gets sick again, which is a possibility with cold and flu season about to come.
Hopefully I'll have time to update tomorrow (I'll for sure post something on twitter when I know something @ iloveblogs44 )
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