Today was the second day in a row that she was either ignoring me or responding rudely. After spending an hour bawling on the couch/at the kitchen table waiting for her to come out of her room for food or a bathroom break or something (she'd been in her room over three hours), she finally emerged. I asked her what was up, she said nothing and refused to talk...and then returned to her room locking the door behind her.
So, my emotions got the better of me and I started pounding on her door without any response (except for an "I'm sleeping"). I then got a screwdriver and unlocked the door, telling her I would take the doorknob off if I had to break in. All I got out of her word wise was that I had "gotten annoying" that I was "overreacting", "being a crazy lady", and that she was going home tomorrow. For full disclosure, I did yell through the door that no one said she had to stay here and I didn't appreciate the way she was treating me.
I sat on her bed for about 10 minutes while she texted someone. I told her I loved her (many times) and that I was not kicking her out. I reminded her that I would always be here for her and never stop loving her. I did apologize for unlocking her door, but as my sister told me, "if she is living there for free, she should be respectful and communicate. You definitely have the right to unlock the door."
One friend told me "letting them go is often the hardest but can also be the best lesson. Let it be..." and so I dried my eyes (well, there may not have been any tears left anyway) and know that she is right. Another reminded me that she loves me and I love her...so this isn't really going to be "the end"...
it's just not how I planned it to be...and it sucks...and hurts really, really bad...
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